


Never Let Me Go

by raquelsleatherjacket



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:29:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 109,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28561332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raquelsleatherjacket/pseuds/raquelsleatherjacket
Summary: Sergio and Raquel were best friends and high school sweethearts, but college drew them apart. Twenty years later, they find each other again under unexpected circumstances.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Professor | Sergio Marquina
Comments: 168
Kudos: 215





	1. Limbo

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Never Let Me Go](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/738144) by Lua. 



> Heeeey 🥺
> 
> I know. I knowwww! I had already published this fic here once but I had a minor anxiety crisis back in August and I ended up deleting my fics and, well, Spirit let me place it back as it once was, but not here... Sorry about that!
> 
> It took me a while to be able to do this again, but here I am! Good news is that I have added a few extra chapters for this story, including a Christmas and New Years Eve chapter :)
> 
> I'll try to post the chapters everyday for the next few days while I work on my WIP.
> 
> I'm on Twitter, if you'd like to talk, as @_cualquierlugar
> 
> 🎵 Each chapter has its own song – this one's The Funeral, by Band of Horses, and you can listen to it (and the other songs for the following chapters) here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_I'm coming up only to hold you under  
_ _I'm coming up only to show you wrong  
_ _And to know you is hard, we wonder  
_ _To know you, all wrong we were_

Not one of the clothes Raquel laid out on her bed felt right.

What clothes would you wear to one of your best friend’s funeral?

Could any of them feel right if her death still felt like a terrible nightmare?

Letting out a deep sigh, she turned herself back towards the closet. She ran her fingers through the hangers until she landed on a black dress she had missed on her first round. She picked it up, studying it thoroughly.

She remembered this dress.

It was a long, sleeveless black dress, it’s fabric soft and comfortable, slightly loose on the legs, but perfectly fit on the rest of her body.

It belonged to Mónica.

She fondly thought of the day she had lent it to her. Cinci was two weeks old then – oh, she felt her heart ache in her chest. _Poor Cinci_ – Raquel was putting him to sleep when he barfed on the jumpsuit she had on. Raquel laughed it off, but Mónica insisted that she was not leaving her house wearing Cinci’s bodily fluids.

When her friend gave her the dress and she changed, Mónica let out a satisfied gasp.

"Estás guapíssima, mi amor," her voice echoed in Raquel's ears as if she could actually hear her.

A few days later, after washing it, Raquel called Mónica to give back her dress and maybe it was the postpartum hormones still kicking, but Mónica let out a loud laugh and told her friend she should have it because “she had never seen her tight ass look better than in that dress”.

_Mierda._

Raquel felt the tears stream down her face again, at the same time she let out a fond chuckle thinking about her. She couldn’t believe she was actually gone. She wouldn't see her anymore, she wouldn't hear her voice, she wouldn't get to FaceTime her so they could watch the new episodes of Grey's Anatomy together.

In any other occasion, Raquel wouldn’t even cogitate going to a funeral wearing that dress. But thinking about Mónica and her carefree, do-what-you-want attitude, thinking that she would be wearing something that once belonged to her, it brought an unexpected feeling of closeness to her, despite all the pain.

Maybe people would comment, but right now the only thing in Raquel’s head were the words Mónica would most likely utter upon seeing her wearing it: “screw them, you’re damn right I gave you this for a reason”.

She put the dress on top of her bed and shot a last look at a picture of her, Mónica, Ágata and Silene that stood in a silver frame in her desk. It took all of her strength to breath in and out and make her way to the shower.

_Really too late to call, so  
_ _We wait for  
_ _Morning to wake you, that's all we got  
_ _To know me as hardly golden  
_ _Is to know me all wrong, they were_

Sergio held four ties in his hands, unsure of which to pick.

The black one was classic, but was it too somber? Is there a way of something being too somber for a funeral?

He wasn’t sure, so he pondered on the patterned grey one. It was pretty, it matched his grey suit, but upon further thinking, it felt like something he would wear to a work meeting so, no, maybe not the grey one.

He glanced at the blue one in his hand. He wished he had a dark blue instead of the sky blue he was holding. It felt too happy, too joyful for the occasion.

But maybe happy and joyful were what he should aim for, because it was for Daniel and Mónica and those were two adjectives who could be used to describe them. But he wasn’t sure.

He looked at the final tie in the row, a red silk tie. No. Definitely not that one.

He threw the ties on top of his bed and brought his fingers to his hair, frustrated.

Truth was he shouldn’t be doing this.

He shouldn’t be picking a tie for the funeral service of two of his best friends.

Sergio thought about Cinci, about how confused and sad he must be. He wished there was something he could do about it, that he could push a button and take away his pain. Maybe the button would take away his own pain as well.

He sighed and all of a sudden, it hit him.

The dark green tie. He must have it in his bedroom somewhere, he was sure of it. He looked for it in his closet, on a suitcase, on several drawers until he finally found it inside a cardboard box of stuff he had taken out of Alicia’s house all those months ago and still hadn’t had the courage to go through.

That was it. That was the one. It was the one he wore to their wedding.

He put on the tie around his neck, tying it into a knot and adjusting it around his collar.

He finally looked at himself in the mirror, but his eyes didn’t fall at his own reflection. Instead, they paused on a photo he had taped on the top right of the mirror.

He was with both Dani and Mónica, all three of them beaming, and Sergio was holding newborn Cinci in his arms, minutes after they had asked him to be his godfather. His eyes were still glistening in the picture from the tears he had shed.

He glanced at the mirror and saw it again. His eyes drowned in water. Except this time, it wasn’t happy tears.

_At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, oh, one billion-day funeral_

Grief was a feeling Raquel had already dealt with. She went to her first funeral when she was six years old and her abuelo had passed. Her abuela went soon after, and by her early teens she had already lost an aunt and her grandparents on her mother’s side as well. Her father passed at the end of summer before her high school freshman year and she remembered crying on Sergio's shoulder for a few days straight.

Of course, that was way before things got way too complicated between them. In the end, she had grieved for him too. He was her childhood best friend – she had been there through every step of his treatment and recovery –, he became her confidant when they were teenagers and it was only when they were about to leave for college that they started a romantic relationship. 

Sometimes Raquel regretted it. Had they not gotten together, maybe they would still remain friends. God knew how much she needed his shoulder to cry on now.

Upon getting to the cemetery, Raquel ran into Ágata and Silene. They held each other tight, wordless, and cried together. After she regained her posture, Raquel walked up to Agustín and Mónica’s parents to offer them their condolences. Cincinnati, who had been tucked behind Agustín’s legs, leaped at Raquel and asked for her lap and she instantly obliged.

As she held Cinci in her arms, Raquel's eyes wandered around the cemetery and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Sergio talking to Andrés on the other side. It hadn’t even crossed her mind that they would meet there, but of course they would. Even if she and Sergio didn’t remain close, he was still a part of their group.

She hadn’t seen him in, what, four years? He had been living in Andalusia with Alicia for the past few years and had just moved back. Last time they saw each other it was for Cinci’s christening – and of course Món and Dani had to make the two of them his godparents.

Luckily, they were past the awkwardness phase that lasted years after their break-up and were capable of maintaining diplomatic conversations like normal adults.

She didn’t notice she had been staring for so long until he glanced at her and gave her a small, greeting nod, his eyes dark and hollow behind his usual glasses.

She swallowed dry and turned her attention back to Cincinnati. For now, there were bigger things to worry about than Sergio Marquina.

_I'm coming up only to show you down, for  
_ _I'm coming up only to show you wrong  
_ _To the outside the dead leaves, they're on the lawn  
_ _Before they died, had trees to hang their hope_

Raquel drove to Dani and Mónica’s place right after the funeral for the reception. It was weird, standing in the driveway and seeing all these people dressed in black walking into their home.

Just the other day she had arrived to find Mónica kneeling over her garden, tending to her beautiful flowers right by the stone pathway. Now, the flowers looked withered and she imagined Agustín must have not even remembered to water them.

She squared her shoulders and walked in the house. Silene was the first person she saw. She walked over and tried to engage in her and Aníbal’s conversation but her eyes traveled to the photos above the fireplace – the ones she already knew so well. They were tinged with nostalgia and sadness now.

Noticing she was about to cry again, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, needing to spend a minute alone with her thoughts and feelings.

She washed her hands and face and, after a few moments breathing in and out sitting on the toilet, she finally unlocked the bathroom door and rushed out of the bathroom.

Unfortunately, she clashed against someone who was just walking by.

“Oh, sorry,” she muttered, closing her eyes in shame.

“Sorry, I– Raquel,” a very familiar voice said at the same time. Her eyes blinked, glancing up at him.

“Sergio, hi,” she offered him a half smile. “It’s been a minute,” she said, arching her eyebrows at him. With the addition of a few wrinkles around his eyes, he looked the same as she remembered.

“Yeah,” Sergio agreed, the corner of his lip turning into a quick smile. “Um, I was going to the patio for a drink.”

“There are drinks on the patio?” Raquel asked, intrigued.

Sergio smiled and opened his jacket, pointing his silver aluminium flask out to Raquel, who quietly nodded.

“Ah,” she sighed. He wanted to get away from the people at the service as much as she did.

He hesitated, lips parted, his eyes searching for something in her face.

“You wanna join?” He asked, moving himself out of the way for someone to pass through the hallway.

“How strong is the drink?” Raquel crooked her head. She needed alcohol in her system as soon as possible.

“A very old scotch,” he replied, making way for someone to walk past between them and, then, leaning in dangerously close to her ear to whisper: “I stole it from Andrés.”

Raquel couldn't avoid a malicious smile – they had spent the better part of their college years stealing from Andrés' alcohol stock. She owed him for her first hangovers with many different drinks – tequila, wine, gin, rum, liquor and, definitely, scotch.

“I’m in,” she fiercely nodded, placing her hands on his back to usher him to the backyard.

They both stepped out to the patio and, upon finding it empty, breathed a sigh of relief. They shared a small, knowing smile. They had always been good at communicating silently, it was something they had years and years to practice on when they were younger. Somehow, after all these years, they were still good at it.

“Mind if I smoke?” She asked, sitting on the wooden bench and resting her purse on the seat beside her.

“Go ahead,” Sergio said, after a gulp from his flask. He watched as she picked up a small tobacco bag with paper silk and filters, rolling up her own cigarette. “When did you start?”

“One of my exes smoked,” she shrugged, skillfully and quickly rolling up the cigarette. “I picked it up. Unfortunately,” she continued, putting her stuff in her purse and trying to light the cigarette.

The wind wasn’t helping and Sergio cupped his hand around it to help her. She shot him a grateful look when she was finally able to light it up.

“Doesn’t really suit you,” he said, offering her the flask.

“Helps with anxiety,” she said, taking a large gulp of the scotch and cringing a little at its taste. “At least I’m down to rolled tobacco instead of the other poisons,” she said, giving him the flask back and taking a drag of her cigarette.

They stood in silence for a moment and she felt her skin burn as Sergio looked at her. They were both thinking it, but it was Sergio who broke the silence, looking away as he cleared his throat.

“When did you last see them?” He asked, a hand deep in his pocket and his eyes focused on the white fence that surrounded the backyard.

“Last week. I joined them for lunch,” Raquel smiled for a second, remembering every detail of the shared meal.

Mónica made tortillas, Dani basically drowned them in sangrias and Raquel had brought her signature mantecados. By the time they were drinking coffee, Cinci was putting on an improved concert singing a song by Mon Laferte that was on the top charts that month.

She glanced up at Sergio, who offered her the flask again.

“You?” She returned the question, taking the flask from his hand and drinking up.

“Three weeks ago,” Sergio replied, falling into a deep silence afterwards.

Raquel took a drag of her cigarette, waiting to see if he would say what was on his mind.

When they were younger, he never hesitated. They were each other’s best friends, they shared everything, big or small. And even though they were long past the age when she would call him her best friend, the realization that they were no longer as comfortable as they once were with each other made her sad.

He sat down next to her, exhaling loudly.

“I… I missed a call from Dani last night,” he admitted, his finger nudging his glasses up in that all too familiar way he’d do whenever he was nervous or anxious. “I was working, so I couldn’t pick up the phone. Then I hopped on the shower and I just… forgot to call him back.”

His eyes were now glued to the floor, and a small part of Sergio was waiting for her verdict that he was a bad friend, that he was guilty, that if he had picked up the phone, maybe they wouldn’t have…

“Sergio… Don’t torture yourself,” Raquel said, placing a hand on his forearm and pulling his attention back to her. “There is nothing you could’ve done. It was… an unfortunate accident.”

He gulped, softly nodding.

“I know. Like, rationally I know,” he disclosed. “It’s just– He didn’t leave a message. And I keep thinking… what did he have to say?”

Raquel pursed her lips for a moment, trying to think of a way of comforting him.

“Probably learned a new joke he wanted to tell you,” she offered with a shrug.

“Oh, yeah, the ones he always ruined before the ending because he’d already be in stitches,” Sergio added with a chuckle and Raquel couldn’t help but join in.

“I’ll miss that weird, loud laughter,” she admitted, her eyes brimming with tears.

“Me too,” Sergio added in a sorrowful intonation.

They fell into silence again and only when he was about to drink another sip of the scotch that he noticed her hand was still pressed against his arm. She seemed to have noticed at the same time, bringing it back towards her to throw her long, golden hair behind her ear.

“So, where is Alicia?” Raquel asked, taking the last drag of her cigarette and putting it off in a small ashtray on the table in front of them.

“I don’t know,” he replied, changing his posture suddenly as if he had put on an armor.

“Oh. Sorry,” she amended, recognizing her mistake.

“It’s okay,” he shook his head, pausing for a beat. Then, he clicked his tongue and shot a sideway glance at her. “Um, Alberto?”

Raquel shook her head negatively and Sergio could swear he saw something shift in her expression.

He decided not to read too much into it and change the subject.

“And how’s Mariví?” He looked up at her, his eyes smiling as he went through all of the memories he had of her mother.

Raquel’s reaction, however, said something else.

“She’s, um, she’s okay,” she hesitated. “She was… She was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.”

“Mierda, Raquel,” he furrowed his brow at her, genuinely concerned. “I’m so sorry. Is it… is it bad?”

“Um, not yet,” Raquel said, stealing the flask from his hand and taking a gulp of the drink. Then, she looked at him with a softer expression in her face. “We’re not sure, though, how long she’s had it. You know she’s always been a little forgetful.”

Sergio smiled.

“Remember the time she went to the grocery store with your father’s car and came back walking?”

He had to suppress his laughter thinking of it.

They were still in middle school and Sergio and Andrés were staying over at Raquel’s because their parents were away for a conference. He remembered Mariví promising to make them leche frita and running to the store to get the items.

“Oh, my God, papá was so pissed,” Raquel smiled. “He was halfway through the door to report the car as stolen when we got a call from the store owner asking why our car was still there,” she remembered with a chuckle.

Her father passed away the following year and, despite trying her best to keep his memory alive and fresh in her mind, she had forgotten all about that story.

She smiled, feeling comfortable enough knowing that Sergio still cherished some of those memories and stories too.

“How about your dad? How is he?” She asked, turning her attention back to him.

“Ah,” he sighed. The truth was that, ever since his mother passed, ten years earlier, his father's health only deteriorated. “Not so good. He’s having respiratory issues.”

Raquel’s expression shattered.

“But the cancer…?”

“Yeah, it’s gone,” he added.

“Good. I was worried when Món told me. I thought about reaching out,” she confessed.

“Why didn’t you?” His voice was firm, but it didn’t feel like a charge. His eyes were soft as if he was trying to reach a part of her that she wasn't even sure was still there.

Raquel tried to come up with the reasons she had decided upon not calling him – they hadn’t talked in so long, what if he didn’t want her to call? What could she possibly say that would make things better? –, but being confronted with them in front of him, she failed. None of those were good enough excuses.

Her mind went completely and totally blank.

“I–” She began, before being interrupted by an exasperated Agustín.

“Sergio, Raquel! Have you seen Cinci? I can’t find him anywhere,” he said, worry wrinkling his eyes.

“No, but we’ll find him,” Raquel replied firmly and the three of them instantly went inside to look for the kid.

They decided to split up – Ágata, Silene, Aníbal and Andrés were looking for him downstairs and Raquel, Sergio and Agustín went upstairs.

Sergio and Raquel entered the master bedroom at the same time. Sergio rushed to the bathroom, but Raquel heard a muffled sound coming from the closet and snapped her fingers midair to call his attention.

He glanced at her, who signaled for him to come over and pointed at the closet door. She waited for him to approach her and knocked softly on the wood.

“Go away,” Cinci shouted. Raquel and Sergio both sighed, relieved.

“Cinci, it’s tia Raquel and tio Sergio,” she amended.

After a beat, Cinci opened the wooden folding door and leaned himself against the back of the closet once again, staring at his godparents with swollen red eyes, his little arms hugging his own knees.

“Agustín! We found him!” Sergio screamed into the hallway and Agustín suddenly appeared on the door frame, exasperated.

“Dios mio, gracias! Don’t scare me like that again, hijo,” Agustín pleaded, offering his hand to the boy. “Vamos, let’s go downstairs.”

“I don’t want to go downstairs!” Cinci shouted again, burying his head on his knees.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” Raquel said, kneeling down in front of him. She turned to face Dani's father. “It’s fine, Agustín. I’ll stay.”

“Me too,” Sergio assured him and, slowly, Agustín turned his back with a loud, relieved exhale before making his way out of the bedroom.

“Mind if we join you?” Sergio asked, still standing behind Raquel.

Cinci looked up and quietly nodded. Sergio and Raquel made their way inside the closet, each one sitting at Cinci’s sides.

“Oh, look at that, it can actually fit the three of us here,” Raquel mused, attempting to alleviate the moment.

“It’s because we’re both small,” Cinci stated matter-of-factly, looking up at her.

“Hey, who are you calling small, mister?” She asked, feigning complaint.

“Well, you do have a tiny frame, Raquel,” Sergio conceded, shrugging and tilting his head sideways.

“Well, shut up, Sergio,” Raquel replied, mimicking his tone like a child would.

Cinci let out a small giggle at the adults and Sergio and Raquel exchanged a fond look.

After a moment of silence, Cinci sighed.

“Is it true they are never going to come back?” He asked, his voice so small it broke both adults’ hearts.

“Yes, mi amor, it's true,” Raquel honestly said. There was no use sugar coating it. She remembered how she felt when her father passed and couldn’t imagine going through it at his young age.

“I wish it wasn’t, Cinci,” Sergio conceded.

“Me too,” she replied.

Raquel pulled Cinci’s body for a hug and Sergio quietly fondled the kid’s hair.

And the silence stretched across the closet, drowning the three of them in sorrow.

_At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral  
_ _Every occasion, oh, one billion-day funeral_

When Prieto and Tamoyo’s law office called Raquel that morning, she was confused.

It was far from the first time that feeling would sit with her that day, and the second time it did, it was after greeting the receptionist and upon finding Sergio in the waiting room.

He looked up at her with the same confused look on his face.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Got a call from their lawyer. You too?” She asked.

“Yeah.”

“You know what this is about?”

“No idea,” Sergio shook his head, then using it to signal to Raquel someone was walking in their direction. She turned around to find the receptionist standing right behind her.

“Excuse me, señor Marquina, señorita Murillo,” the woman said. “Señor Prieto will see you in his office now.”

Sergio got up from his seat and followed Raquel and the receptionist, who opened the door for them.

Sergio and Raquel sat on the chairs in front of señor Prieto's desk apprehensively.

“Señor Marquina, señorita Murillo,” he said, looking down at a stack of papers on top of his bed.

“Come, sit. So, I’ll be direct. I have called you here because Daniel Ramos and Mónica Gaztambide left me very clear instructions when they hired me a few years ago. In their will, their financial assets should be directed to their parents, but their house is supposed to be passed on to both of you.”

“What did you say?”

“Why would they do that?”

Sergio and Raquel voiced out at the same time, sharing an incredulous look before glancing back to the lawyer in front of them as if he were out of his mind.

“Did Daniel and Mónica ever discuss with you anything regarding Cincinnati’s caregiving in the case of their deaths?” Mr. Prieto asked, clasping his hands together.

Silence befell the room.

“I assumed… Agustín would be responsible for him,” Raquel muttered.

Sergio turned his head to look at her, relieved to see her as shocked as he was by how this conversation was turning out.

“Yeah, I know Mónica doesn’t have– had a good relationship with her parents, but I thought Agustín would be their first choice,” Sergio agreed.

“Well, that’s not the case,” Mr. Prieto replied, picking up two sheets of paper and offering one to each of them. “As you can see, they also left instructions that in the case of their demise, primary caregiving rights of Cincinnati Gaztambide Ramos should go to his godparents, Sergio Salvador Marquina and Raquel Fuentes Murillo.”

Raquel’s jaw dropped. She searched for Sergio’s expression and found his mouth agape as he looked down at the paper in his hands. When he noticed her stare, he glanced up at her, using a finger to push up his glasses up his nose.

Raquel looked back at Mr. Prieto, but no words came out of her mouth.

Instead, it was Sergio who voiced out her own internal struggle, shaking his head with his brows furrowed into a knot:

“That can’t be right. Can it?”

_At every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral_   
_Every occasion, once more, it's called the funeral_   
_Every occasion, know I'm ready for the funeral_   
_Every occasion, oh, one billion-day funeral_


	2. We Should Be Holding Hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii!!
> 
> You guys don't know how happy it makes me to see you care about this story 🥺
> 
> I'm sorry for erasing it in the first place (seemed like the right thing to do at the time), but thank you for being so supportive anyways ❤️
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Lately, by POLIÇA, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Lately, we've sleeping with the sun_ _  
__Seems like we're too comfortable in love_

 _If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_

_"So, what do you say?" Mónica raised her eyebrows, anxious, with a smile from ear to ear. Daniel was standing by her side with a smile equally silly as they both waited for Raquel's response._

_But Raquel was speechless – all she could do was look from one of them to the other with her mouth agape and her eyes filled with tears._

_"Do I- Do I really need to answer it?" She mustered, unsure of what expression her face was making at the moment - was she crying or smiling? Not even she could tell._

_"Well, you'll be one of the responsible parties for Cinci in the case of any eventuality," Mónica chuckled. "It'd be good to have your expressed consent, you know, tía?"_

_"So you won't complain after we leave him in a basket on your doorste– OUCH!" Daniel stopped talking as soon as Mónica's elbow hit him in his ribcage. "I was just kidding, babe!"_

_"Well, of course! Of course I'll be the godmother!" Raquel jumped at them, hugging them both at once, and the three of them started laughing with joy._

_When they broke the hug, Raquel shook her head._

_"I still can't believe you have a kid..." She said, glancing at little Cinci who slept peacefully in a mobile crib in the middle of the living room._

_"You would believe it if you heard him cry in the middle of the night..." Dani sighed, hanging a couple more balloons on the wall._

_"Yes, that part is very tiring. But you're the godmother, you'll get the best part," Mónica laughed, adjusting the desserts Raquel had bought on her way over in a tray._

_Raquel smiled, until she was reminded of one small detail. Fearing the answer already, she frowned at her friends. "May I ask who's the godfather?"_

_The couple exchanged a silent look before glancing over at Raquel. "Quel..." Mónica shrugged, as if she were saying 'who else would it be?'._

_The blonde took a deep breath and wavered her head. "Yes. Of course. I already figured."_

_"Have you talked lately?"_

_"About what, Món? What could we possibly talk about?" Raquel rolled her eyes, frustrated. She hated that, how many years would it take for her to get used to this new reality?_

_"He's coming today, isn't he?" She asked._

_"Yeah," Mónica offered her a bland smile. The truth was that she thought that was the stupidest thing ever and she could barely wait until they both left their pride aside and admitted once and for all what everyone around them knew for the longest time – but she couldn't force anything and she only waited for the day to come where they could finally resolve their issues once and for all._

_"When was the last time you saw each other?" She asked Raquel, who seemed to have mentally checked out of the room in her memories for a brief instant._

_"I think... his mother's funeral," she replied, biting her lip as she tried to untangle the string from a decorative garland. Suddenly, she looked at her with a frightened expression. "Món, you didn't tell him anything about Alberto, did you?"_

_Daniel looked at them both from the corner of his eyes, realizing where that conversation was headed. "I'm gonna check the tables in the backyard."_

_He couldn't get out of the kitchen fast enough. Mónica looked at her friend, uncertain of how to respond._

_"Mónica,_ please _. What did you say?" Raquel insisted, watching her friend blush under pressure._

 _"Just that things weren't good between you! I didn't tell him anything_ detailed _, if that's what you want to know," she explained rather quickly as she watched her friend's face contorted with frustration. "Raquel, he asks me about you. I already think it's ridiculous that you can't talk to each other, what should I do? Lie to him? Say everything's fine and dandy?"_

 _"_ Yes _," she exclaimed and Mónica shut up immediately. Raquel took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "Sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just that everything that concerns Alberto makes me... angry."_

_"I know," she replied, holding her friend's hand._

_"I'd appreciate it if you don't mention anything about the divorce yet, okay? It's all still very fresh and I don't want to see that face he makes," Raquel rolled her eyes, impatient, even though Mónica understood perfectly that her lack of patience wasn't about Sergio._

_"What face? Of genuine concern? Of longing?" Mónica teased, a smirk coming through her lips._

_"_ Mónica _," Raquel glared at her._

_"Okay, okay," she raised her hands as she pretended to call a truce. "I'll talk to Dani."_

_"Thank you," Raquel replied, feeling a little bit more relieved. The feeling, however, was_ _superficial. All it took was remembering that in less than one hour he would be in front of her once_ _again that she could feel every single nerve termination in her body. She wondered if, someday, Sergio wouldn't have this effect on her._

_Easy to hide away hold up_ _  
__Better to only touch when we need to touch_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_

 _It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_

Sergio was sitting in front of her, his beard slightly disheveled, as if he had not remembered to groom it for the past couple of days, his eyes marked by dark circles that made evident how little he was sleeping, his gaze lost on the cup of coffee he was holding the cup of coffee in her hands.

It was with great difficulty that she brought her gaze to her own cup of coffee. What she really wanted was to stretch her arm over the table and hold his hand, or try to put a smile on his face in spite of the troubling circumstances they were in, but she couldn't do any of that so she bit her lower lip and stored those desires away in a dark corner of her mind.

"So," she said, clearing her throat and looking at him. She momentarily found herself lost when he looked at her, his brown eyes clearly fogged with all the information they had just received. "We need to talk about... all of this."

"Yes," he agreed, unsure of where they would start.

Raquel's eyes were swollen, her shoulders falling as if they had surrendered to sadness long ago. The only thing Sergio wanted to do was to sit by her side, put an arm over her shoulder and pull her against him. However, just thinking about it made him feel crazy. They didn't have this kind of relationship anymore – and for the longest time.

"I'm not sure what they were thinking by doing this without telling us. I'd expect it from Daniel, but certainly not Mónica," Raquel said, incredulous.

"Raquel," her name out of his lips still managed to leave her breathless. "Did you see the date on the document the lawyer showed us?"

Raquel tried to remember what was written in the piece of paper she had folded and put away in her purse, but the truth was that looking at her paper earlier all she could see was a bunch of scrambled letters. Nothing about that meeting seemed to make sense. She shook her head, waiting for him to respond.

"It seems like they protocolized the document just after Cinci's baptism," Sergio explained. "That's when they asked me if I'd be his godfather and..."

She remembered what Mónica had told her when she asked for her confirmation.

_You'll be one of the responsible parties for Cinci in the case of any eventuality._

"Of course..." Raquel shook her head, imagining that they must have said something of the sorts to him as well. "Well, I think it doesn't matter now anyway, does it? What are we going to do... about all of this?

"I think we need to talk to Agustín," Sergio said, drinking a sip of his coffee. "If he wants to look after Cinci, we can give him all the support he needs and arrange the necessary documentation and–"

"You want us to transfer our responsibility to Agustín?" She interrupted him, surprised with the suggestion.

"It wouldn't be transferring a responsibility if it's something Agustín wants to do," Sergio tried to explain, but every word that left his mouth made Raquel look at him all the more angry.

"Just because _you_ don't want to?" She accused him, raising her eyebrows.

He looked at her with his jaw dropped, uncertain of how to reply. At that moment, it felt like they weren't talking about Cinci. It felt like they were back in college, all those years ago. That tone, the way she was talking... Everything reminded him of one of the fights that led to their break up.

"It isn't a question... of me wanting... o-or not wanting... _anything_ ," he tried to explain, nervous. "It's just... we're talking about this huge change. Aren't we?"

"The changes have already been huge, Sergio," she replied sternly.

"Yes, of course," he affirmed. "Raquel, I'm just saying... Agustín is a big part of Cinci's life. Maybe he deserves to be a part of this conversation too, don't you think?"

Raquel automatically opened her mouth to clap back, but nothing came out. She knew he was right about it. She also knew, deep down, why she had responded like that, even if she didn't want to admit it.

She swallowed her pride with a sip of coffee and looked up at him.

"Yes, you're right," she admitted, and felt equally relieved and regretful when he didn't react and simply nodded, finishing his coffee silently.

"Did you drive here?" He asked, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket.

"No, I took the subway," she replied, looking for her own wallet in her purse. Both of them put a bill on the table to pay for their drinks and tips and looked at each other with certain difficulty.

"I have my car. We can ride together," he offered.

Raquel accepted, internally cursing herself for deciding to leave the car in her place that morning.

_Changes, gonna come on quick_ _  
__We're like wax melting down upon the wick_ _  
__New one begins and_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_

The atmosphere inside the car couldn't be more tense. It was the first time in years that the two of them were together and so close for such a dilated amount of time. The silence that filled Sergio's car was absurd, but neither of them dared to say anything. The route, that should take twenty minutes to Daniel and Mónica's house, seemed to last an eternity.

Raquel still mulled, quietly, the way she had reacted to him at the coffee shop. She knew it was the weight of years talking and that even if she was putting out what she believed for many years to be true, she knew what she said was unfair and didn't relate to everything they went through together.

At the same time, she knew that poking at those wounds now would be like activating a time bomb.

And, once again, they had more important and urgent things to handle than their confusing and messy relationship.

When they knocked on the door, they heard Agustín's voice calling them inside. Raquel had sent him a text to let him know they were on their way and asking if he needed anything. They opened the door to find the house turned upside down. Cinci's toys and clothes were scattered everywhere and they could hear the sound of the kitchen faucet.

Sergio and Raquel exchanged a look, worried about the state the place was in, and headed for the kitchen. They found Agustín doing the dishes with a very sad and tired expression.

"Agustín," Raquel called him out, placing a hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, taking a few seconds before opening them again, closing the faucet and turning around to hug her.

"Raquel, my dear," he greeted. Then, he turned to hug Sergio as well. "Sergio. Good to see you together again. It's a shame it's like this... Come, let's sit."

They walked over to the round wooden table on the corner of the kitchen and sat on the available chairs. They both chose to ignore Daniel's father's comment about them being together.

"Is Cinci upstairs?" Raquel asked, intertwining her fingers over the table.

"Yeah... Today was a struggle, as you can see..." He replied, running a hand over his face. "He didn't want to shower, he didn't want to eat, he didn't want to do absolutely anything. Now he's in his bedroom watching a movie on his tablet."

Both of them nodded, comprehending the great struggle he was in. Not only did he lose his son and his daughter-in-law, he was taking care of a four year old child that didn't understand his own grief.

"Agustín... Raquel must have told you, but we're coming from Dani and Mónica's lawyer's office," Sergio said. "I must admit, we were pretty surprised when we heard the house and Cinci's custody would be left to us. We thought you were the obvious choice and-"

"What do you mean?" Agustín looked at them both, confused. "Me?" He laughed, nervous, shaking his head thoroughly. "Can't you see how I am? I've been with Cincinnati for a week and I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Look, I love my grandson. I love him _deeply_. But I'm old. I can't handle his energy... I'm weak. Physically weak. Emotionally weak. I've been so busy with Cinci for these past few days that I haven't even cried for my own son. You get that?"

Raquel and Sergio looked at him in silence, incapable of saying one word.

"Look," Agustín took a deep breath, running a hand through the beard that covered his chin. "I'll always be available for any support Cinci or you guys need. Anything. But I can't... I can't take care of him 24/7 – today I carried him a few times and my sciatic is already killing me," he offered them a weak smile. "I know this isn't the best situation for none of us. But the little one is who's suffering the most. Have you thought about asking him what he wants?"

They looked at each other, feeling terrible for not thinking of that sooner. They thanked Agustín and excused themselves to talk to Cinci. They found him lying in his parents' bed, with the tablet on top of his stomach as he watched a cartoon.

Sergio knocked lightly on the door, calling his attention to the both of them. If he would've run over to hug them in another time, on this occasion he remained perfectly still, looking at them with a certain suspicion.

"Can we talk, Cinci?" Raquel asked, showing him a small smile.

He nodded, pausing the video he was watching and putting the tablet on his side, on top of the bed. They both walked into the room, Raquel sitting by his side and Sergio sitting in front of him, on the edge of the bed.

"How are you feeling?" Sergio asked, but he simply shrugged without a word.

"You know, Cinci, we wanted to talk to you about how things are going to be from now on," Raquel explained, in a caring tone of voice, extending her arm to hold his tiny hand. "Your grandpa is getting old and he can't take care of you everyday as he's been doing."

She looked at Sergio from the corner of her eyes, signaling that it was his turn to speak.

"Well, it just happens that your parents asked us something very special and important. They asked us to take care of the most precious thing in the world for them," Sergio continued.

Cinci, who was already watching attentively, found himself even more curious. Raquel felt her heart warm up as she watched Sergio talk to their godson.

"What?" The kid asked, sitting in bed.

" _You_ ," Sergio answered, smiling. Cinci looked at Raquel, who also smiled, and allowed himself to smile as well.

"Would you like to keep living in this house?" Raquel asked, even if they already knew the answer. 

"Yes," he replied, nodding. "This is my house."

"Yes," Raquel agreed. "Yes, it is."

"And now we have a really important question, Cinci," Sergio said, making his godson's eyes double in size. "Would you like us to move in with you?"

Cinci stopped for a moment to think. He looked down at the bed and then alternated his gaze between the adults in front of him.

"All three of us?" He questioned, clearly trying to grasp what was being asked. 

"What do you think?" Raquel asked.

"I like it," he finally said, approving the idea once and for all.

"Well, then we're settled, okay?" His godmother smiled. "We'll settle our stuff, but... what do you think – can I sleep over with you today?"

"Did you bring your PJs?" He asked.

Raquel suppressed her laughter. "Yes. I had already told your grandpa, but it was a surprise for you."

"If you didn't have any PJs, you could wear mamá's," he said, pointing at the closet. "All of her clothes are still in there."

"Thanks, cariño," Raquel caressed his cheek, feeling her eyes burn. "Look, your uncle Sergio and I are going to talk about some adult stuff downstairs. Keep watching your movie and I'll be here soon, okay?"

"Okay," he replied, laying back in bed as his godparents got up.

"Night, Cinci," Sergio said, pressing a kiss on his forehead. Then, he left the bedroom and followed Raquel downstairs.

They talked for a little longer with Agustín until they told him to go home and rest. For at least half an hour, they tidied up the living room and the kitchen's mess, organizing all the toys, folding all the clothes and finishing cleaning the kitchen.

Finally, they sat on the high stools of the kitchen counter with two glasses of water.

"We need to talk about all of this," Raquel said, drinking a small sip from her glass.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Tomorrow? Today was a pretty eventful day, don't you think?" He chuckled nervously.

"Certainly," she agreed, offering him an embarrassed smile.

"Well, I think I should get going then," he said, getting up. "I figure you want to rest."

She got up as well, walking him towards the front door.

"Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

Raquel looked at him with gratitude and let the corners of her mouth curve into a small smile. "Yes, thank you."

"Good night, Raquel."

"Good night, Sergio."

With one last look, with which Raquel could only read his complicity, Sergio opened the front door and left, closing it behind him. Raquel locked the door soon after he left, stopping for a momento to organize the thoughts and feelings that mixed inside of her.

Never, in a million year, she thought she would end up in this situation. Even less so with Sergio, her childhood best friend, her first love, her biggest memory of a broken heart, her former and estranged friend for whom she still nurtured an affection so big she couldn't explain, even to herself.

She took a deep breath and climbed the stairs with her purse, walking slowly to the main suite. Cinci was already asleep and Raquel had to close her eyes to avoid the tears from streaming down her face. Trying to be as quiet as possible, she brushed her teeth in the bathroom, put on her sleeping gown and climbed under the covers, tucking Cinci under them and pulling him against her as a little spoon.

She spent a few minutes with her head on the palm of her hand, simply watching him sleep peacefully, or at least that's what he looked like with his eyes closed. She pressed a kiss on his cheek and silently vowed to do everything in her power to make sure he felt well again. Whatever it took. 

_If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__It's gonna be my only way_ _  
__If it's good it's gonna stay_ _  
__  
__Lately I feel the weight of love_ _  
__Irreversible damage but it's good, I'm good_  
 _Seems like we're too comfortable in love_ _  
Seems like this'll be good for us_


	3. You Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sweeties, I'm back again :)
> 
> 🎵 The song used in this chapter is "Seventeen", by Sharon Van Etten.
> 
> You can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_I know what you wanna say_ _  
_ _I think that you're all the same_ _  
_ _Constantly being led astray_ _  
_ _He's thinking of something you don't_

_Raquel was sitting on the edge of the couch with her elbows resting on her knees, one of her hands compulsively massaging her forehead as Sergio finished preparing her a cup of tea._ Another _cup of tea. Another tea of which its leaves had x property with y effect and that – this one would, he was certain of it – would make her feel a little bit better._

_She appreciated all these little gestures, she deeply appreciated them, but to be honest she was fed up with his affectionate patience, his excessive care, his selfless disposition. She was fed up because she was angry about everything all the time – angry at the situation they were in, of the fact that he was always trying to make her feel better, angry at herself. She was fed up because she felt like she needed to be angry for the both of them. That she had to feel sad for both of them._

_She knew he meant well, but seeing him constantly contorting himself to accommodate all her mood swings and physical/emotional discomforts made her feel like a child. Like she couldn't take care of herself – and a part of her actually doubted she_ could _take care of herself._

_Sergio approached with the cup of tea in hand and sat down on the couch next to her, offering her the drink. Raquel held the cup and stretched her arm to rest it on the center table._

_"Thanks," she said in a low voice._

_"Are you feeling something?" He asked, concerned. "Headache again?"_

_"Sergio," she said, turning to face him._

_"Do you want a painkiller?"_

_"_ Sergio _," she called him out, this time with a firmer tone. "We need to talk."_

_He looked at her with a hint of distrust and gulped. He knew those four words, he knew that tone, he knew that look. He knew that conversation. They'd had them several times over the last two months, even if they always wound back at the starting point._

_"Raquel..." He started, sure of where this was headed._

_"No, Sergio, please," she said, holding his hand. "Not this time. Don't try to convince me everything's okay. That we're okay._

_He only had to glance at her expression for one instant to realize that this time it would be different. Raquel saw his face change when he comprehended, his shoulders tensed, he began biting his lips inside his mouth, looking sideways uncertain of where his gaze should rest upon if it wasn't on_ her _._

_"I love you, you know that," she said, allowing her lips to curve into a sad smile. "But I'm not okay, Sergio. A cup of tea is not gonna make me okay. You are not gonna make me okay – I need to get there on my own, do you get that? I need... time. And space."_

_She could see his eyes fill with tears behind his glasses, even though her own vision was blurry from her own tears._

_"I need..." She said, bringing a hand close to her stomach, her voice dripping with sadness. She closed her eyes and her fist at once, as if she needed all of her strength to go through with this. She took a deep breath and looked at him once again. "I need to be alone."_

_Sergio looked at her in silence for a moment, before nodding quietly. He swallowed everything she asked him not to say, swallowed all of his feelings, all of his desires._

_"I'm sorry," she bit her lower lip as a tear strolled down her cheek. "I didn't want it to end like this. But I can't, I can't–"_

_She held back the crying that nearly escaped from her throat, turning it into a sob._

_"I'm sorry," she said, getting up hurriedly and picking up her coat and her purse and closing the door behind her on her way out, leaving him behind._

_She ran out of the dorm and into her car and sat in the driver's seat, finally allowing herself to cry. Every tear, every sob, every contraction in her core made it feel like she would come undone. She felt terrible for storming off like a fugitive, but she knew._

_If she had allowed herself to sink in there, in that well, once again in front of him, she would never find the courage to do this. She would never be brave enough to face that darkness on her own._

_And she needed that, she needed to be sure that she could find her way out of that tunnel on her own, or she was certain that she would end up dragging him down the abyss with her._

_Downtown harks back_ _  
_ _Halfway up the street_ _  
_ _I used to be free_ _  
_ _I used to be seventeen_

Raquel was alone in the dark. She couldn't see anything, not even a foot in front of her. She felt that she would die there. She screamed and screamed and screamed until, at last, a hand appeared from above. She wasn't sure where it came from. She couldn't see his face or hear his voice, but she knew it was him. She knew he was there, but as much as she stretched and tried, she couldn't reach his hand.

She woke up suddenly feeling her heart heavy in her chest. She put a hand on her rising chest as she took a deep breath, trying to regain a healthy heartbeat. Since the news of Mónica and Daniel's accident, her nights of sleep were restless, but that last dream–

Her line of reasoning was interrupted when she noticed the pair of little brown eyes staring at her. 

"Nina?" Cinci asked, poking her arm.

"Good morning, Cinci," she smiled. "Have you been awake for long?" He shook his head negatively. "Did you have a nightmare?"

She sat on the bed, nodding. 

“Yes, I did. But I'm already feeling better because I woke up and I'm with you,” she smiled, tickling him. He laughed, trying to push her hands away from his belly. "And did you sleep well?"

"I did," he said, but soon became distracted when they heard a noise coming from the first floor of the house. "What was that noise?"

Raquel felt her heart flutter again. "I don't know. Stay up here, Cinci.”

She got up and cautiously went down the stairs. Taking an umbrella from the basket by the front door, she held it in her hands as if it were a baseball bat. She concentrated on the noise she was hearing, realizing it was coming from the kitchen, and headed towards it.

She was startled when, just as she made the turn to enter the kitchen, Sergio turned to leave.

“ _Cojones_ , Sergio,” she clutched the umbrella in her hands, taking a deep breath. "Do you want me to have a heart attack?"

Sergio looked at her, confused, with his mouth half open. Almost imperceptibly, he let his gaze wander over her when he realized that she was still barefoot and wearing only a short, practically transparent white nightgown. When he realized he was staring at her, and in a quite unduly manner at that, he blinked his eyes quickly and looked at her eyes.

"Why are you holding an umbrella?" He asked, frowning. "Were you going to hit me with this?"

Raquel looked at the umbrella and lowered it, letting out a nervous breath. "I can still hit you if you don't tell me what the hell are you doing here."

"Wow, I came to bring you breakfast," he held up his hands with his palms facing her in a gesture of innocence. "Good morning, by the way."

She opened her mouth, but before she could answer, Cinci approached the two adults. 

"Nino?" His little voice caught his attention and Sergio soon bent down to pick him up.

"Good morning, Cinci!" He greeted the little one, standing up with him in his arms. “I brought you a special breakfast. Can you guess what it is? ”

The boy pouted as he considered the answer. "Waffles?!" He asked excitedly.

"And strawberry jam," Sergio added, heading to the kitchen with his godson.

Raquel bit her bottom lip as she watched Sergio put Cinci on a kitchen stool and serve him a plate of his waffle and a glass of juice. She finally put the umbrella down and sat on the stool across the American island, facing the two.

She left aside the fright of her dream and Sergio's surprise when she saw Cinci take a huge bite out of his waffle, happy with the treat he got from his godfather.

"And what about me, what do you have in there?" She asked, looking at Sergio with the face of a curious child. He turned towards her with a shy smile and picked up a paper bag.

"Check it out," he said, pushing the bag over the counter.

Raquel opened the bag and took out a take out box, opening the lid almost immediately. _Torrijas_ and scrambled eggs. Her favorite combination.

"Did I get that right?" Sergio asked, raising his eyebrows and smiling knowingly when he saw her expression.

She looked at him trying to suppress her smile.

"You didn't get it _wrong_ ," she teased, avoiding saying that he had indeed been right even after all this time. “But it's missing the…”

He held out a travel cup from the coffee shop towards her at the same time. "Coffee?"

She alternated her gaze between the cup and the smug expression on his face, shaking her head and squinting as she accepted the drink.

"Now I can say it: good morning, Sergio," she finally said, taking a sip of the hot liquid.

"You're welcome, Raquel," he replied, without taking his eyes off her. Then, with a small sigh that she would not have seen had she not been equally mesmerized by his presence, he turned to the child beside him. "Cinci, what do you think, does it taste good?"

With his mouth full, Cinci gave his opinion with total honesty. "There's not enough jam." Raquel held her laughter, taking a bite of her torrija and watching their interaction.

"Oh, sure, sorry," Sergio replied, taking a small container and removing the lid for the boy. "Here, you can have mine."

"Are you off the clock these days?" She asked and he looked at her again.

It was strange to have her in front of him again, to talk to her. He was used to receiving small alms of her attention the few times he saw her over the past few years. At the same time he could feel the strangeness, there was this unbelievable feeling that they were talking again, and being around her still seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

"I've been working from home for the past few years," he explained. "I rescheduled all the meetings I had for next week."

She realized that she knew nothing about Sergio's life anymore. Sometimes her friends insisted on updating her of major changes - such as when he had moved to Andalusia with Alicia - despite her insisting that she did not need to know about him. Maybe that's why they didn't tell her that he came back alone and apparently broke up with the redhead, which is why she had unknowingly asked about her to him at Monica and Daniel's funeral.

"What about you?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I had a lot of overtime, so I asked for these days off to handle everything," she said, shrugging. "I won't be back until next week."

"Speaking of which, Cinci," he turned to watch his godson, who was smearing his hands to eat the waffle as if it were a cookie. “Next week you'll be back at school. Are you missing your school mates?”

"Only some, not others," he replied and the two adults couldn't help but exchange a smile. “I miss Túlio. He's like my friend-brother.”

"I bet he'll be happy to see you on Monday," Raquel said, excited, raising her eyebrows. 

"Who's going to take me to school?" He asked through sips of his juice.

The adults looked at each other quickly.

“Let's make a calendar, shall we? Some days I will take you, others your Tio Sergio,” she explained.

"When are you going to move here, nino?"

"As soon as possible," Sergio replied, stretching over the counter and stealing a slice of torrija from Raquel. She made an outraged face in his direction, but he pretended to ignore her to keep talking to the little one. “I already started packing my things yesterday. By the way, we are taking you to stay with your grandparents Gael and Valéria for the day, okay? ”

He made a sad face at the news. "Why?"

"Because if you want us to live here with you, we need to bring our stuff, don't we?" Raquel complemented the information.

"Do you want a ride home?" He asked Raquel directly, who just nodded, albeit hesitantly. During the rest of their breakfast, she couldn't help feeling that maybe things weren't going to be that hard between them.

_Follow my shadow_   
_Around your corner_ _  
_ _I used to be seventeen_ _  
_ _Now you're just like me_

Ágata was already in her second cup of coffee when Silene arrived at Raquel's house. They greeted each other with hugs and sat on the sofa in the living room, grateful to see each other in a less depressing circumstance than their best friend's funeral.

"Wow, I missed you guys so much," Silene commented, laying down and throwing her legs in Ágata's lap.

"How are things in Tokyo?" The brunette asked, resting her hands over her friend's black tights. 

"Agitated, as always," she replied, stretching.

"Things are agitated wherever you are," Raquel teased. 

"True," Silene admitted and the three started to laugh.

"Hey, I have to tell you something," Raquel said, getting up from the couch and stopping in front of them, clearly nervous. "But you have to promise not to freak out, okay?"

Ágata was the first to snort. "I will not promise anything."

"Tell us first and then we'll see," Silene gestured with her hand as if asking her to advance the matter.

"My God, you guys are unbearable," Raquel rolled her eyes, pacing back and forth in front of the couch. "Okay. Look,” she paused, taking a deep breath. “Yesterday Mónica and Dani's lawyer called and… it seems that Sergio and I are legally responsible for their home and for Cinci now.”

"WHAT?" The two brunettes screamed in unison and Silene almost fell off the couch while trying to retrieve her legs from Ágata's lap.

“We talked to Agustín and Cinci yesterday and we thought it was better… for the little one… that we move there,” Raquel continued, preferring not to interrupt the news and share everything at once. Kind of like ripping the band-aid out of a wound.

Silene's eyes widened. "WAIT UP, _WHAT_?"

"Yeah, well, it's the only home he knows," the blonde explained as she continued to walk her imaginary line from side to side. "We thought getting him out of there now would be another blow, you know?"

"No, Raquel, step back," Ágata raised her hand with an extremely confused expression. 

"The legal guardians for Cinci are _you and Sergio_?" Silene repeated the phrase, with extra emphasis when referring to the two, trying to hide a smile of whom was finding the whole situation amusing.

"And you will now live together in the same house to raise Cinci?" Ágata imitated her friend's tone. The blonde stopped in front of the two and looked at them apprehensively. 

"Yeah... Yes, it also threw me back."

Raquel anxiously awaited for her friends' reactions, but did not expect that, after a brief exchange of glances, the two would burst out laughing. The blonde frowned at them, who continued to laugh until they were out of breath.

"Sorry, Quel–" Silene tried, but she could only laugh more.

"It's just that..." Ágata was the one who managed to contain herself to answer her properly. "You have to admit, this is a little funny."

She looked at her friends as if she wanted to strangle them both. "What the hell is funny about this situation?"

"The fact that Mónica has spent the last two decades trying to get you two to talk again..." Silene tried to justify, still laughing out loud.

"For just that to happen... well, because of her too," Ágata shrugged. 

"I can't believe you guys are really laughing at this."

"Look, I assure you that Mónica's stomach hurts from laughing in the astral plane," Silene wiped her face from the tears that escaped her eyes as she laughed.

Ágata looked at Raquel seriously again. "So... are you and Sergio really going to live together from now on?"

"Well... that's what Cinci asked for and..." She took a deep breath through her mouth as she explained. "We thought it would be really important for him to have a paternal and maternal figure in the house... To also establish a routine and bring a sense of normalcy and everything..."

"And how exactly is this going to happen?" Ágata continued. Silene watched the two closely and silently. It was obvious where Ágata wanted to get at and the youngest would not get involved in the battle of the Titans.

"Well, we'll sleep in separate rooms, obviously," Raquel gestured with her hands. "And... we'll be talking all the time about Cinci and his needs."

"Just about Cinci's needs?"

"What else would we talk about, Ágata?"

"Ah, I don't know, Raquel, maybe about the damn relationship you had twenty years ago and how you broke the poor man's heart and never looked back?"

Raquel felt as if a knife had been lodged in her chest. She bent her head as she looked at her friend.

"That's not fair. That is not how it happened and you know it.”

She tried not to be upset, but she couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes with Ágata's words. Really? She couldn't believe it came from her, who, along with Mónica, saw her cry for days on end in the apartment they shared during college. Not her who on her side when Mónica tried to convince her to give her relationship with Sergio one more chance. Not her who was there to support her every time she thought she couldn't handle it alone.

Ágata realized that she had not communicated her thoughts and concerns properly by the way Raquel looked at her. She was clearly hurt and, of course, she knew she shouldn't have spoken that way.

"Sorry," she said sincerely, alternating her gaze between her friend and the floor. "You know I didn't mean it like that..."

"But she's right, Raquel," Silene agreed, in a small voice, daring to intervene in the subject. She had always been a little closer to Sergio, so she tried not to meddle in that particular subject, but this time she couldn't keep quiet. "Do you really think you'll be able to live with your ex-boyfriend and raise someone else's child without even talking about your story?"

"We'll talk about it when it's convenient," she replied, taking a seat in the armchair and letting out the air that was starting to feel heavier and heavier in her lungs.

If she was optimistic earlier, talking to the girls just made it clear that the feeling was pure illusion. It couldn't be easy. Not with them. Life would never make it easy with them.

"At the moment our priority is to take care of Cinci," she declared. "Okay?" 

"Okay," Ágata raised her hands and shook her head gently.

"Okay."

"Now... I need help organizing things so I can move there," the blonde continued. "Can I count on you guys?"

"Of course," Silene said.

Ágata nodded and got up from the couch in readiness. "What do you need?"

_Down beneath the ashes and the stone_ _  
_ _Sure of what I've lived and have known_ _  
_ _I see you so uncomfortably alone_ _  
_ _I wish I could show you how much you've grown_

Across the city, in Sergio's apartment, Andrés laughed softly as he leaned against the bedroom door while the younger one folded and stuffed several clothes in a suitcase. Sergio looked at his brother with narrowed eyes, expressing all his anger. However, the eldest simply shrugged with an air of disdain.

"Honestly, Sergio, what do you want me to say?"

"Anything other than laughing at my face would be great, thanks."

In his defense, Andrés did his best to hide his smile and took a deep breath. Without pulling away from the door frame, he looked at his brother and the suitcase he was packing, shaking his head as he thought about it.

"Look, you know I love you both, hermanito," he started and saw Sergio adjust his posture as if he already knew what was coming. “Raquel will always be like a little sister to me, regardless of the resolution, or the lack of it, between you. I'm sure you will do a good job with Cinci, you love that child. ”

Sergio felt his brow furrow slightly. This was definitely not what I was expecting to hear from Andrés. Of course, they grew up with Raquel and Sergio knew they were still close - as close as you can be to the ex-brother-in-law of your first boyfriend, in this case - and talked to each other quite often, especially due to the two working in the cultural field.

And as if he was reading his mind, Andrés bent his head, ready to complete his speech with what he _really_ meant.

“But I am concerned, yes, about the way you two are going to deal with it. First of all, when was the last time you met? Talked?”

Sergio's shoulders tensed again. He knew that Andrés was right, as much as he hated to think about it. Part of Sergio believed that, despite all the misfortune that brought them into this situation, perhaps the universe was giving them a sign by putting them together again. He would never admit it out loud and even resuming that thought silently made him want to roll his eyes.

It certainly had nothing to do with it. They were in this damn situation because of a terrible accident that took the lives of two of their best friends. There was no sign of the universe. There was no destiny. There were no second chances. There were only two estranged adults who would have to do their best to care of a four-year-old orphan.

Unfortunately, Andrés did not stop there. After a pause, during which he studied Sergio's features closely, he continued with his concerns. 

“You have never even settled things with each other since college and now you are going to live together and raise a child without even talking about—”

“Andrés, _I know_ ,” Sergio interrupted him before he could finish the sentence. His brother gasped, noticing his discomfort.

"You can't even hear me say the word, Sergio." 

Sergio looked at the floor, feeling his jaw clench.

"I know you're trying to do what's best for Cinci," Andrés approached the bed to face him. Sergio slowly looked at his brother. “But you also need to think about what is best for you. I know you still love her– ”

Sergio shook his head. "Not like that, Andrés."

"Sure. Whatever,” he gestured with his hands, pretending to believe in his brother. “Regardless, you need to talk. Before that turns into a snowball and Cinci is left in the middle of all the unresolved issues between you two.”

Sergio drew out a breath, granting his brother a victory. "You're right." 

"I'm always right," Andrés smiled smugly. 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Sergio rolled his eyes.

He meticulously folded a shirt in silence, placing it in the suitcase while organizing his thoughts. Andrés looked at him patiently, waiting for the moment when he would show what was occupying his mind.

Said and done, in a few moments, Sergio looked at him desperately. "I just... I just don't know how."

"Sergio... It's Raquel," his brother replied, as if his fear was the most ridiculous in the world. "You always knew how to talk to her."

"Maybe in the past, yes, but... I don't know if I know the Raquel she is today," admitting it out loud cost him a lot and he knew that Andrés had noticed it.

He smiled slightly and encouragingly. “So let yourself get to know her, will you? You will be surprised to see how much she is just like the Raquel you remember.”

Sergio sighed and finally nodded. "Okay." 

"Very well."

"Now can you help me pack my stuff instead of just looking?"

Andrés quickly pretended he hadn't heard him, taking his cell phone out of his back pocket. "What did you say? Sorry, my phone is ringing and-”

"Andrés, stop being an idiot!" Sergio ordered, letting out a laugh anyway.

He put the phone back in his pocket and smiled broadly. "Sure, sure, let's go."

_I know what you're gonna be_ _  
_ _I know that you're gonna be_ _  
_ _You're crumbling up just to see_ _  
_ _Afraid that you'll be just like me_

It is amazing how much you can pull off in three days when there is a collective effort involved. In the case of Sergio and Raquel, it was indisputable that they were able to count on all their friends. They all knew that it was also a way to help not only their two friends, who were leaving behind the lives that they had built for themselves to care for a child who had become their responsibility overnight, but also to help Cinci and pay a humble and silent tribute to Daniel and Mónica.

Leon, who had come from Marseille just to pay homage to his friends before deciding to spend a few more days in Madrid to see his friends again, was the king of unusual contacts around Europe and had borrowed a truck from a friend, which had greatly facilitated the transport of his friends' belongings to what would become their new home. Sergio, Andrés, Leon, Aníbal, Mirko, Yashin and Martín did the legwork of carrying all the heavy boxes and suitcases into the house, while Raquel, Ágata and Silene did all the work of organizing the junk.

"This is the first time I thank society for this sexist division of men doing the heavy lifting," Ágata confessed, smiling mischievously as he sipped a beer and watched her friends sweat their shirts.

They spent a whole day in that task force and successfully finished their services before eight o'clock, sharing a group toast and smiles before saying goodbye. Raquel told Agustín that they were ready to get Cinci back and she suggested that both her and Sergio should take the time Agustín would take to drive Cinci back to take their showers.

Sergio was the first to get ready and, when he arrived in the living room to wait for his godson, he allowed his eyes to travel through Raquel's book collection, that she had arranged on a mobile bookcase in the room. He smiled when he noticed a particular book, which he recognized as an old edition that he had given her as a birthday present when they were still together - a book of poems by Rosario Castellanos, which he remembered that, shortly after, she declared it as one of her favorites. Before he could even think of picking up the book from the shelf, he heard the sound of her footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to greet her.

Maybe one day he would get used to the idea of seeing her every day again, but for now he was still surprised every time his eyes landed on her. Raquel was wearing a loose red dress, which reached midway through her thighs, and was walking down the stairs barefoot when she noticed him.

"Ah," she said, looking a little nervous to see him there now that all of their friends were gone. "You were fast."

He smiled and put his hands in his pants pockets, unsure of how to respond. She sat down on the couch, unlocking her cell phone and inspecting any messages that had appeared on the screen.

"Agustín must be arriving soon," she commented, trying to fill the silence.

"Yes," he nodded, skirting the coffee table and taking a seat in the armchair facing her.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room once again. He stared at the coffee table, distracted by his thoughts. He wanted to have the courage to fill it with everything he needed to say, but he knew that the time they had would not be enough. They had a lot to talk about and he didn't want them to be interrupted in the middle of a delicate conversation.

"Sergio," she called him out, making him look at her. She hesitated for a moment, as if she was measuring every word that would come out of her mouth. "Do you think that-"

Before she could finish her question, they heard the front door open and Cincinnati run towards the chair where Sergio was sitting, Agustín still with his hand on the door handle.

"Nino!" Cinci jumped on his godfather's lap, who caught him promptly in the air and rested him on his legs.

"Cinci!" Sergio exclaimed back, giving him a kiss on the cheek and looking quickly at Raquel before turning to Agustín. "Good evening, Agustín."

"Good evening, sorry for the rush," he said, without walking past the door, looking at the room that already showed signs of change. He tried not to show any reaction when looking again at his son and daughter-in-law's friends. "There was someone very excited to come home."

“Come in, Agustín, would you like a drink? We still have beer and-” Raquel stood up, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

“No, it's not necessary,” he shook his head and both Sergio and Raquel felt that they were occupying undue space. "I'm tired, the little one really made me sweat today."

"Really, Cinci?" Raquel turned to her nephew smiling, placing her hands on her hips. The boy just laughed, pretending to be ashamed.

“Well, I'm going to let you settle in. Good night,” Agustín quickly said, waving to the three and closing the door. Raquel looked at Sergio, knowing that he would understand her immediately, preferring not to voice out her fear in front of the boy.

Sergio shrugged his shoulders almost imperceptibly and Raquel made a movement in the same frequency as she nodded. She then narrowed her eyes in the direction of the little one who seemed to be watching their non-verbal communication closely.

"Cinci, why didn't I get a kiss, huh?" She asked in a demanding tone. The boy simply shrugged dramatically, hiding a small smile.

"Ah, you'll see," she said, moving toward him and tickling him before picking him up and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Now we're good! So, shall we take a shower?”

"Nooooo," he whined.

"Come on, Cinci, real quick?" She insisted, sniffing his neck and making a face. “You are _so sweaty_! If you sleep like this you will get all your sheets dirty! ”

"I don't want to," he said, frowning and crossing his arms in front of his body.

"Well, it's okay if you don't want to take a shower," Sergio said, getting up from the armchair while Raquel gave him a sharp look. "But I need to tell you something - did you know that once your uncle Andrés went to sleep without taking a shower and he woke up with a skunk on top of him?"

The boy widened his eyes and Raquel bit her lip to restrain from laughing at the story Sergio came up with.

"I don't want a skunk on top of me," he said, terrified.

"So you better go with your nina and take a shower, skunks don't like clean children," his godfather replied instantly.

"Come on, nina," the boy said, pulling on the strap of his godmother's dress as if he could control her movements. Raquel moved her lips to murmur a 'thank you' in Sergio's direction and took her godson up the stairs.

Sergio waited for them to disappear from view to allow himself to be immersed once again in his thoughts. He tried several times to mentally complete Raquel's interrupted sentence, but he couldn't imagine what she would have said to him.

Do you think this is a good idea? Do you think we'll make it?

Do you think we are doing something mad?

He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. When he opened his eyelids, his gaze fell again on Raquel's bookcase. He went to it and carefully took the book of poems he had given her. On the back cover, his dedication was still there, written by hand in a fine-tipped black pen: “I dedicate these words from a great woman to the most remarkable woman I know. _Te quiero_.”

Sergio felt as if his heart had been hooked inside his chest. In an attempt to distract himself from the sensation, he opened the book on any page, and read the first poem that appeared in front of him.

 _Matamos lo que amamos._ _  
_ _Lo demás no ha estado vivo nunca._

 _Ninguno está tan cerca._ _  
_ _A ningún otro hiere un olvido,_ _  
_ _una ausencia, a veces menos._ _  
_ _Matamos lo que amamos._ _  
_ _¡Que cese esta asfixia de respirar_ _  
_ _con un pulmón ajeno!_ _  
_ _El aire no es bastante para los dos._ _  
_ _Y no basta la tierra para los cuerpos juntos_ _  
_ _y la ración de la esperanza es poca_ _  
_ _y el dolor no se puede compartir._

He finished the verse by closing the book voraciously, with tears in his eyes. _Mierda_. He put the book back in its place and, taking time to recover and wipe his eyes, went up the stairs with his head down. He found Raquel putting Cinci to sleep in his bed and leaned against the door frame while watching them. Cinci was the first to notice his presence.

"Nino, I don't think any skunk is coming to get me now!" Exclaimed the little one and Raquel turned her head to look at Sergio over her shoulder, offering him a small smile.

"Oh, really?" Sergio asked, approaching the bed and sitting on the opposite side Raquel was sitting. "Let me see," he said, kissing and smelling Cinci's forehead. “Now we're talking, huh? I bet no skunk will want to hear from you.”

Raquel smoothed the covers around Cinci, stroking his cheek tenderly.

The adults noticed when Cinci's quiet face began to accommodate a thoughtful expression. After a minute, the boy voiced his doubt. “Abuelo said that when people die, they are no longer on Earth. If my parents are no longer here, where are they?”

Raquel's mouth opened, but no sound came out. She looked at Sergio, disconcerted. How to answer that question for a four year old child?

Sergio, on the other hand, had a focused expression as looked at the boy, like he was promptly looking for an answer to offer him.

“This is a very complicated question. But look, remember I once told you that we are made of the same material as the stars?” He asked, and Cinci's eyes turned to him with attention and curiosity. He nodded, listening eagerly. "Basically, everything that exists in the world is made of the same matter... When someone dies - be it a person, an animal or a plant - that matter, which can also be called energy, returns to nature in other ways."

Cinci seemed to absorb those words slowly. Raquel alternated her gaze between the little one, trying to make sense of the explanation, and Sergio, who was looking forward to the child's reply. She felt her heart pounding. This conversation was painful for a number of reasons.

"So my parents are going to become trees or birds or stars?" The boy finally asked.

“Well, they are not going to become just _one_ thing. But they will be part of the whole. That is why we say that people who die do not abandon us. Their parts are everywhere we look... We only need to learn _how_ to look,” Sergio replied.

When Raquel heard those words, she had to take a deep breath to keep herself from crying. Looking at Cinci had never been so painful. Hearing Sergio talking about his vision of life and death and explaining it to the little one... It inevitably moved her and he knew it. That's exactly why he reached out and held her hand over the covers, interlacing their fingers. She was taken aback by the intimate gesture, but she couldn't deny that the affection was definitely comforting. "Cinci, do you like mushrooms?" Sergio asked, raising his eyebrows.

The boy made a disgusted face. “Ew. No, mushrooms are disgusting.”

"I think they're rather delicious," the adult smiled before returning to his seriousness. “But, you know, mushrooms are species of fungus that exist in the soil. Scientists say that mushrooms can form a communication network underground, and they are able to connect an entire forest through its small structures. Also, mushrooms have a very special function in nature. When a plant or animal dies, time makes mushrooms appear there, because they have a superpower. Do you know what it is?”

Cinci shook his head, completely mesmerized by his godfather's voice.

"They manage to transform everything that has already died into something new and full of life..." Sergio explained.

"Is that why we bury people when they die?"

"Part of the reason, yes," said Raquel, finally managing to join the conversation. Cinci and Sergio's eyes immediately turned to her. “But we also bury them because we need farewell rituals. To honor those who have passed through our lives.”

"Okay," Cinci said, letting out a yawn.

Raquel felt Sergio's thumb lightly caress the back of her hand. She allowed herself to feel that affection for a second, before letting go of his hand and readjusting Cinci's covers.

"Well, those were enough questions for today, huh?" She said. "Time to sleep, Cinci." The boy turned on his side, clinging to a stuffed monkey. "Good night…"

"Good night, mi amor," Raquel said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Good night, nino," Sergio stroked the top of the little boy's head.

The two got up from the bed and left, leaving the bedroom door nearly closed. In the corridor, they looked at each other in silence. She thought about what her friends had told her, he thought about what his brother had warned him about. They both knew that there was much to be said, but nothing could fill that disturbing silence with any significance.

It was late. They were both tired. It might not do well to keep putting off important conversations, but what was another night if they had already postponed it for two decades?

She realized that there was something different about Sergio's look. She wondered what would have happened while she showered Cinci, but at the same time that she was dying to know, she couldn't even bear to ask him.

"Are you alright?" Sergio asked.

Raquel wanted to scream. Why was he like that? Why, even though he was clearly in bad shape, was he the first to look out for someone else?

She shrugged and swallowed, trying to avoid looking directly into his eyes. "Good night, Sergio."

Raquel headed for the master suite, which he had suggested she stayed in. He took a few steps towards his own door, the guest room whose door was practically opposite her room.

"Good night, Raquel," he said, breathing heavily. "See you tomorrow." "See you," she said, watching him enter his room and close the door.

Across the hall, Raquel closed her bedroom door and laid on the bed feeling uneasy. She cursed herself for her thoughts, invariably, always returning to Sergio. The way he spoke, the kind look and the easy smile on his face when he talked to Cinci. The way he looked at her, so similar to the way he looked at her when they were together and yet so different. And as she closed her eyes to try to sleep, Raquel was sure that she would dream of him again.

_Downtown harks back_ _  
_ _Halfway through this life I used to feel free_ _  
_ _Was it just a dream?_ _  
_ _Now you're half shy_ _  
_ _Think you're so carefree_ _  
_ _But you're just seventeen_ _  
_ _So much like me_

 _You're just seventeen_   
_You're just seventeen_ _  
Seventeen_


	4. Die Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves!
> 
> Here I am with chapter 4, one of my favorites 🥺 
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Die Young, by Sylvan Esso, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_ I had it all planned out before you met me  _ _  
_ _ Was gonna leave early, so swiftly _ _  
_ _ Maybe in a fire or crash off a ravine  _ _  
_ _ People would weep, "How tragic, so early" _

__

_ "Sergio..." _

_ His name flowed out of her mouth, in a voice as sweet as only she could make it out to be. He had no special appreciation for his own name, but when it came out of her lips? It was better than any symphony ever composed in the history of humanity. _

_ "Raquel…" _

_ His voice was an octave lower than usual and even though he tried his best to keep it steady, he already admitted his tone of defeat. Raquel smiled and, as much as she had a very concrete goal there, she tried to remember anytime he had said her name and she didn't immediately smile in response. _

_ "Please..." She begged, her eyebrows raised and her lips pursed into a pout, in her best beggar expression. _

_ “Hum?” _

_ “Sergio, pleaaaase.”  _

_ “Stop…” _

_ “Why?” _

_ "Because I don't want to go," he said, shrugging and trying to look back at the book that was open in his hands. _

_ Raquel crossed her arms next to him on the sofa, visibly upset, and snorted. When he didn't react, she snorted again, even louder. _

_ Sergio rolled his eyes and finally closed the book, trying to hide a laugh - wow, sometimes she could behave just like a child - and rested the book beside him on the couch, turning to look at her. He had to admit that he was a little curious, and he could not avoid asking: "Why do you want me to go?" _

_ "Because... They are all from Laura and Andrés' class, I don't know anyone very well and I'm sure they are going to ignore me when we arrive,” Raquel explained. _

_ "I'm the worst possible company for a party," he argued, looking straight ahead to avoid her gaze. _

_ He loved Raquel, but going to a party that would surely be filled with all the popular students that made his school life a living hell? No, that seemed like the worst plan for a Friday night.  _

_ It would be much better if she asked him to go to the movies - maybe so, alone, in the dark, he would finally take the courage to confess what he really felt for her or at least he could think of acting on it. _

_ It was as if she had read his thoughts, because immediately afterwards she insisted on emphasizing the nature of their relationship. _

_ "You are my best friend, you are the best possible company," she countered, arching her eyebrows and caressing his arm, her gaze pleading for him to reconsider. _

_ Sergio felt his entire body tingle from her touch and he had to take a deep breath to keep himself from reacting too much. _

_ “Aaaand there's more, do you really want to finish high school without going to any parties? Don't you want to have a normal high school experience to remember? Isn't it enough to have lost so much already?” _

_ He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, unable to believe that she had used that card. The disease that made him miss weeks of classes when he was younger and because of which he had to study with private tutors for four consecutive years? That had been a low blow. _

_ "Don't even look at me like that, you know I'm right," she replied with a smug smile. _

_ He sighed, letting his head fall back and rest on the back of the couch. "It is impossible to say no to you, right?" _

_ "I hope so," she laughed, adjusting her position to face him, sitting on her heels. "Does that mean we're going?" _

_ Sergio looked at the smile that had appeared on her face. A wide smile, full of teeth, with that sparkle in her eyes that only she had. She was perfect and he was fucked. _

_ "Okay, we'll go," he gave up and she raised her arms above her head in celebration. _

_ "YEEESSSS!" She laughed and then pulled him into a hug, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, it will be amazing, I can't wait!" _

_ Sergio felt a fire in the pit of his stomach and could only smile, confused, while Raquel talked nonstop like a machine gun, excited, about the time they would meet up and exactly what clothes he should wear so he would not go “looking like a librarian”. _

_ Fucked. _

_ He was completely fucked. _

__ __

_ I was gonna die young  _ _  
_ _ Now I gotta wait for you, honey  _ _  
_ _ Now I gotta wait for you, honey  _ _  
_ _ Now I gotta wait for you, honey _

Sergio woke up with a strange feeling in his chest. He blinked a few times, getting used to the new room he would have to call with his possessive pronoun from now on, and tried to understand rationally the tachycardia that had stirred him awake.

He remembered Raquel's sad smile when she said good night, the expression she had on her face when they put Cinci to sleep, the way she was looking at him in the living room at night, after everyone left.

He took a deep breath and tapped his fingers lightly in the center of his chest, as if his heart were a watch that had simply stopped working. He closed his eyes and continued to take a deep breath - inhaling and exhaling.

Until an apparently catastrophic noise of metallic things falling made him open his eyes again, in a startle. He got up, put on his glasses and went out of the room to inspect what the hell was going on at seven in the morning on a Sunday. He noticed that the door to the master suite was open and he breathed a sigh of relief and went through the semi-open door to Cinci's room, noticing that he was still sleeping, completely oblivious to whatever was happening on the first floor of the house. At least it wasn't Cinci who was alone down there making a mess.

When he reached the kitchen, he couldn't help but smile. Raquel was wearing a white blouse that was three times her size in width, but that in length was not even halfway down her thigh. She was crouched with her back turned to him, trying to collect and balance a series of pots that had fallen from the open cupboard next to her. A song came out of her cell phone, although he couldn't identify what it was.

Sergio looked around, cataloging all the mess she had already managed to make: fruit peels, a wooden board, various used utensils, bread crumbs and traces of coffee powder on the counter. In the meantime, she finally managed to shove the damn pots into the cupboard, stood up and, still unaware of his presence, tried to grab some slices of bread she had put in a large frying pan with her fingertips.

"Ayyy!" She hissed, throwing one slice on the plate beside the stove and blowing her fingers where she had slightly burned herself.

Sergio laughed a little louder than he should have, and she turned to face him with a frown. He cleared his throat and quickly adjusted his glasses on his face. "Buenos dias."

"Buenos dias," she replied, adjusting her posture and looking at him with a concerned expression.

"Did I wake you up?"

He shook his head. “I was already waking up. I just came to check if you weren't destroying anything here.”

She squinted her eyes in his direction and stuck out her tongue. " _ Funny _ ."

He smiled and approached her as she turned to take the rest of the toast from the pan, this time using a fork. "Do you need help?"

“Can you make some coffee? It's all in there already,” she instructed, nodding to where the Italian coffee maker was and the glass jar of coffee powder next to it.

He nodded and walked up to the counter, placing the powder on the bottom of the coffee maker and filling the rest with water. He went to put the coffee maker on the stove and, without thinking too much about it, let a hand slide down Raquel's waist and small of her back as he passed behind her. His intention was to signal that he was walking by so that they would not bump into each other, but she was startled by his touch, looking at him sideways.

He swallowed dry, concentrating on turning one of the stove's burners, cursing himself internally and, of course, faking dementia as if nothing happened. She turned her attention back to the toast, spreading a paste of dried tomatoes on them and garnishing each one with sliced black olives and fresh thyme leaves - leaves she had taken directly from the small pots of herbs that Mónica kept in the kitchen window frame. Raquel smiled, internally thanking her friend for her green thumbs.

Sergio was lost there for a moment, in the gentle precision with which she arranged all the ingredients on the plate, with the attention and affection that she put in each part of the process. His eyes wandered to the back of her neck, exposed by the hair she had pinned up in a bun, always an indication that she was preparing for an activity that required her concentration. He looked at the little specks she had there and could almost remember the smell she had at that very spot-

"Sergio?" She turned her head to face him, interrupting his line of reasoning and making him raise his eyebrows in response.

She had asked a question and he had no idea what it was. "Hmm?" He frowned and she gave him a suspicious look.

"I asked if you want olives in yours too," she repeated with her eyes glazed over his.

"Yes, they can be just like yours," he said, walking over to the kitchen counter, deciding that the best he could do now was to concentrate on cleaning up the mess she had made and preventing his thoughts from wandering off where they shouldn't go. Raquel had started to sing very softly the song that was playing on her phone and he made an effort to try to understand the lyrics while cleaning.

“No me conviene andar soñando ilusionada, si no sirvo estando atada, soy un águila volando sola,” she hummed, preparing the last toast. “Necesito desvestirme tu perfume, este aroma me consume, no te quiero confundir…”

Sergio avoided looking at her and her messy hair, the sole of her right foot that was resting against the inside of her right thigh, the light from the window that perfectly illuminated her face and highlighted the blond tones of her golden brown hair. He avoided it as much as he could, but every now and then he found himself looking at her even if it was just for a quick glance. Andrés was right when he said that she still had many things in common with the Raquel he knew. It was absurdly charming and scary in equal parts.

"There we go," she said, turning around with two plates of toasts in her hands and finding the kitchen countertop clean and tidy, with two placemats and two cups positioned in their respective places. "Wow."

He smiled at her and took a plate from her hand, placing it in one of the placemats places, and went over to the stove to turn off the burner where the coffee maker was. He turned to find her already seated on a stool, holding her cup with both hands and stretching her arms out to him, clearly anxious for her addiction.

The two laughed at the same time and while he poured coffee for her, he wondered for a moment if their lives would be like this if they were still together. They were very young when they got involved. When they were in high school they still lived with their parents and siblings, and in college, Sergio lived in a dorm, sharing his room with Leon, while Raquel shared an apartment with Ágata and Mónica.

Privacy was a rare thing in their relationship, except when they made short trips alone or with Andrés and one of his countless girlfriends. He always imagined that when the two were about to finish college, at the right time, he would invite her to live together. Unfortunately, things didn't work out as he would have liked.

In silence, he poured coffee from his own cup and placed the coffee maker on a wooden stand, taking his place in front of her.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"More or less," she took a bite of her toast and swallowed it with a sip of coffee, looking at him curiously. "What about you?"

"Same…"

Raquel already expected that answer and hid a smile while looking down at her own plate. "Adapting to the new environment?"

"Yes. You know how I get in new places...” He said, but he got lost in his sentence when he noticed that she was laughing with her mouth full. " _ Qué _ ?"

She took another sip of coffee to keep from choking on her toast while laughing. “I remembered the time we went with Andrés and Lorena to Valencia and you were struggling with the hostel's pillow.”

Sergio smiled, more flabbergasted than amused by the memory. “It was a horrible pillow! And you hadn't let me take mine!” 

"Of course not, it didn't make any sense!" She defended herself. 

"I had a pain in my neck for days," he shook his head, annoyed.

"Right, it was the  _ pillow's  _ fault, not the day we spent at the planetarium, and you kept your eyes glued to the ceiling all the time," she teased, taking another bite of her toast. " _ If you notice the architectural details _ ..." She tried to imitate his intonation, and in return he offered her a reluctant laugh.

Sergio took a sip of coffee and looked up at her tenderly with a smile on her face.

"That was a fun day," he declared. In silence, he noticed that his gaze was lingering on hers and tried to continue their talk to dissipate the tension. "Except the part that..."

"Andrés and Lorena were expelled for having sex on the emergency stairs?" She completed and he nodded, still a little ashamed of his brother, but Raquel laughed. "That was one of the funniest parts of the day. 

"Well, they weren't very interested in watching the projection, anyway."

She looked back at her coffee cup, fondly remembering that day. At the moment of the projection that Sergio was talking about, they were sitting together in a crowded auditorium, holding hands, with her head resting on his shoulder while they were watching videos of the milky way on the ceiling of the room and he whispered several scientific curiosities against her ear.

She let out a brief, almost imperceptible sigh, when she realized that Sergio was present in most of her good memories - and in most of her bad memories, he had been by her side, holding her hand with their fingers intertwined just like the day in the planetarium or the night before, when they talked to Cinci.

He cleared his throat and she looked at him apprehensively, as if he were reading her thoughts.

"I shared a calendar with you of all of Cinci's activities," he said, adjusting his glasses. "I think it can be a good way for us to organize everything according to our schedules."

"Where did you share it? With my email?” She asked, frowning. 

"Yes, I sent you an invitation."

"Wait," she stretched herself over the counter to grab the phone that was still playing a slow song. She closed the music app, enveloping them in silence again, and tapped on the screen a few times. "Ah, here."

She studied the calendar and smiled broadly.

"What is it?" He asked, thinking he had done something stupid.

"Nothing, it's just that it's very cute all colorful and everything," she said, putting her fingers against her lips to restrain from laughing. "I should hire you to make my production sheets."

Sergio was stunned by the simple fact that he could not imagine how else she made her spreadsheets. "Don't you use colors in your spreadsheets?"

Raquel ignored his question and pointed at the phone screen. “Thursday is usually a meeting day at the office. Is it okay if I take Cinci to school instead of picking him up?”

"Por supuesto."

“It doesn't have to be in here, but I think we should try and have dinner together during the week. And on Sundays we could try going to the park or watching a movie with him, what do you think? ”

"I think it's great."

"Great," she smiled, satisfied, and the two went back to their coffee in a comfortable silence until they were interrupted by a painful cry from Cinci upstairs.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

Without even thinking twice, they ran upstairs, finding him sobbing in the middle of the hall.

"Cinci?" Raquel asked, crouching down and placing her hands on the boy's shoulders, looking all over his body and checking for any injuries.

"Cinci, what is it?" Sergio knelt beside Raquel, the three of them staying almost at the same height, but the boy couldn't stop crying. His face was red, his eyes were swollen, his mouth was trembling, and he looked as if he might be out of breath.

“Hey, cariño… it's okay,” Raquel pulled him into a hug. 

“Take a deep breath, Cinci,” Sergio stroked his back.

When he finally seemed to calm down a little, Raquel placed him sitting on her thigh and wiped the tears off his cheeks. “Mi amor, can you tell us what happened? Why are you crying?"

"Because... because I woke up and I didn't find you!" He was still sobbing, but he used all his strength to try to explain himself. "I thought you guys were dead too!"

Raquel felt a river of tears form in her eyes as she stroked his face. "Oh, mi amor... We are right here."

"We were downstairs making breakfast," Sergio explained, stroking his cheek with his thumb. 

"Sorry we scared you, cariño," Raquel murmured, giving his temple a kiss. "We would never leave you alone."

Cinci's eyes focused on her quickly. "You promise?" 

"Yes," she nodded seriously.

“We promise,” Sergio echoed from his side and Cinci took a deep breath.

“Hey, it's okay. We're here,” Raquel hugged him again, this time a little tighter. 

"Nina?" He pulled away from her with his hands, a look of concern still haunting his face. 

"Hmm?" Raquel murmured, her brows furrowed.

"Pee," he whispered, embarrassed.

It was only then that Raquel realized that the pajama pants he was wearing were completely wet. 

"It's okay, cariño," she said, running a hand through his hair. "No problem."

"The bed too..." Cinci added, softly.

"I'll change the bedding, Raquel," Sergio said, getting up promptly.

"There. See? Your nino will solve it right now, ”she said. "Come on, I'm going to wash you and we'll change these pants so we can have some breakfast, vale?"

"Vale," he replied, throwing his arms around Raquel as she stood up with him in her lap. Sergio smiled slightly at the two of them, who disappeared into the bathroom in the corridor, before heading to the bedroom and removing the wet sheets from Cinci's bed. He thought about how ironic it was that, despite everything, there they were, after so many years, living as a family.

_ I was a firecracker, baby, with something to prove  _ _  
_ _ Now I gotta contend with the living blues _ _  
_ _ I could've missed it, I never knew  _ _  
_ _ Chain reaction but you're holding the fuse _

And as ironic as it was, they acted like they actually were one for the rest of the day.

Sergio changed Cinci's bedding for a clean one and put the dirty one in the washing machine while Raquel tried to get Cinci to eat a bowl of the cut fruit and yogurt she had prepared. It was difficult, but he ate a little more than half, and he seemed to have forgotten about the crying crisis he had earlier.

After doing the dishes, Sergio said that they could go to the market together and Cinci was excited – too much, suspiciously – with the suggestion. And they soon understood why: the child dragged them both into the candy aisle and used all possible tactics to get them to buy some of their favorite treats. Finally, they agreed that he could take four, as his age, and that for each snack he chose, he would have to eat a vegetable at lunch or dinner without complaining. 

Cinci ended up accepting the terms, but it was at the register that he surprised everyone. Sergio was holding him in his lap while Raquel put the purchases in the bags and inside the shopping cart. In a pause during which the machine registered the total amount and issued the invoice, the attendant smiled at them.

“Your son is adorable,” she said innocently and Sergio and Raquel looked at each other, nervous. 

"No, he-" 

"We aren't-"

The two tried to speak at the same time, but it was Cinci who ended up giving her a straight answer while licking his popsicle: "They are not my parents."

The attendant's expression turned into a concern that bordered on despair. It would be comical if it were not tragic.

"He's our godson," Raquel explained, gesturing nervously.

"The superpowered mushrooms turned my parents into plants and butterflies," the boy added naturally. 

Sergio and Raquel tried to hold on to their laughter as much as they could and spent the whole drive back talking about the poor attendant's horror expression. After putting away the groceries and preparing lunch, they spent the rest of the day playing with Cinci and watching some movies. In the evening, after dinner, Sergio packed Cinci's backpack and Raquel took charge of separating the clothes he would wear for school. 

When Cinci found himself overcome by tiredness and slept in the middle of a bedtime story, Sergio and Raquel rose from his bed on their tiptoes. She had to admit that they made a good team. She had forgotten that.

In the hallway, he offered her a smile and a "good night", but when he turned his back, he felt Raquel's hand on his arm and stopped immediately.

"Sergio..." She called out, taking her hand from his arm as quickly as she had put it there. He turned to look at her and felt his breath hitch. "Can we talk?"

_ Oh, I don't mind I got the fire  _ _  
_ _ Electric light  _ _  
_ _ So high, so wild _ _  
_ _ It's not like I chose  _ _  
_ _ Not like I tried _

_ But now I gotta wait around  _ _  
_ _ And watch you burn so bright _

__

_ When he was 6 years old, Sergio was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that changed his life forever. He spent days in bed, unable to move, he felt pain in all the joints and muscles in his body, he went to the local hospital so often that he already knew the nurses and doctors by name. _

_ He watched his parents do everything in their power to give him the necessary treatments – take extra shifts at work, loans, do accounts and more bills to be able to pay for his medicines and private teachers. Due to the disease, he had to study at home from 8 to 12 years old. He saw how much his existence weighed on his family's life and he felt like a nuisance. _

_ So, at 11, Sergio came up with a plan. _

_ He never told anyone, but he had decided that he would die young. 27 sounded like a good age - tragically young, but adult enough that his parents could be sure they had given him a good life. He would have time to work for a few years, save some money and leave everything as an inheritance to his parents. 27 also seemed poetic to him. At 27, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin had also passed. He searched for the fastest and least violent way. He didn't want to be a burden or a trauma to anyone. Everything was planned. Until then, he just needed to hold on for a little longer. _

_ This plan, however, did not include meeting Raquel Murillo. _

_ Shortly after his 11th birthday, his parents announced that they would move to Madrid. Apparently Sergio fit the criteria for an experimental treatment for his illness and neither his parents nor Andrés, then 13 years old, thought twice before accepting to change their lives for the slightest chance of finding a cure for him. _

_ They found a modest home away from the center of Madrid, close to a good public school and the hospital where Sergio would have the treatment. In addition, his neighbors on the left were a very nice family with two daughters who had the same exact ages of Andrés and Sergio. When his parents invited the neighboring family for a Sunday lunch, Sergio was upset. Who the hell would want to meet a skinny 11 year old boy who couldn't even get out of bed? _

_ It completely surprised him when his mother introduced him to the neighbor's youngest daughter, Raquel. She held a board game against her belly, the box almost the size of her torso, and the scene would have seemed funnier if he had no idea that he was lying in his pajamas on his bed. _

_ Sergio thought she would be scared to see him so debilitated, as children normally were, but she simply climbed on top of his bed and asked him if he knew how to play Scotland Yard. They spent hours playing round after round and even when it was time to eat Raquel took her plate up to eat in Sergio's room while she asked him questions about his illness without any shame. It was incredible – everyone treated him as if he could break, and there was this little girl, with her front teeth a little bigger than the others, asking him all the questions that no one dared ask. _

_ That was the day the two of them became friends. _

_ It was also the day that Sergio's plan began to fall apart because his plan did not count on her becoming his best friend. _

_ He certainly wasn't planning on falling in love with her in the years that followed. _

_ And the plan definitely did not include going to parties of colleagues he hated with Raquel – but that was exactly what he was doing at that moment. _

_ Perhaps he would have made up an excuse not to go if Raquel hadn't knocked on her bedroom door at that very instant. _

_ "It's me! Are you ready?" She asked, opening the door as soon as he said yes. "Sergio!" _

_ She looked him up and down, letting out a gasp, and he, at first paralyzed by her stunning beauty, soon did the same and looked down to check if he was wearing anything out of place, but everything seemed to be alright. He was wearing black jeans, a white inside T-shirt and a checkered long-sleeved shirt outside, all the clothes she had separated for him herself. _

_ And Raquel… Raquel was wearing a black and white striped dress with thin straps and a square neckline that glued to all the right parts of her body. Her hair was half tied up with a side braid and the rest was loose, falling over her shoulders, and even wearing only black eyeliner, she was perfect. _

_ And he couldn't think of a word to say to her. _

_ "I knew you would look great in that outfit," she exclaimed, excited, clapping her hands. "But this shirt is all wrong, wait up." _

_ She approached him, undoing the buttons on the outer blouse he had closed almost to the top. Sergio could smell her perfume, that mixture of lavender and jasmine with which he was already so familiar, but that this time was making him completely intoxicated. She finished undoing the buttons and opened his outer blouse, adjusting his collar next. _

_ "There," she said, placing her hands on his shoulders and making him turn to face his own reflection in the mirror. "Que guapo," she smiled proudly. _

_ "You too," he laughed nervously and she looked at him through the mirror's reflection, smiling. "Guapa, in your case." _

_ Raquel laughed and squeezed his arm at the same time that Andrés appeared at the bedroom door. "Hey, kids, let's go!" _

_ On the way to the party, Andrés made sure they bought a cheap bottle of tequila at a convenience store and they were already sharing the drink on the subway amid lots of laughter - even Sergio, who denied it at first, had no way to say no to Raquel's pout, who begged him to join her just for that night. _

_ The result was that the four of them arrived at the party drunk and, for the first time, Sergio didn't seem to mind sharing the room with a bunch of colleagues he hated and who made his high school experience hell. In fact, he couldn't notice anything but Raquel. _

_ The two of them went to the kitchen, where Raquel squeezed some bands of lemon into a red plastic cup with ice and filled the rest with vodka. She drank a few large sips and offered the glass to her friend afterwards, who sipped lightly. _

_ "Oh, I love this song," she said, referring to some pop song that Sergio didn't know.  _

_ "You can go dancing, I'll wait here," he offered. _

_ "Really?" Her eyes lit up and he nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back!" _

_ Raquel quickly got among the group of young people who were dancing, excited, and started to dance on her own with her eyes closed, without caring who was watching or not. Sergio leaned against a wall in the corner of the room and watched as she moved her hips from side to side, swinging her arms over her head and singing the song as she danced. _

_ He took a huge sip of the drink in an attempt to calm his hormones, but it seemed that it only made the situation worse. The song finally ended, as did Sergio's torture session, and Raquel quickly took a look around and, upon meeting him, walked towards him with a smile on her face. _

_ "Is there still a drink in there?" She asked and he offered her the red cup. She took a sip while taking a look around at the movement. "See, I told you that Andrés and Laura were going to disappear as soon as we got here." _

_ "They really think we're stupid," Sergio shook his head. _

_ "Do you want to place a bet?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively, biting the rim of the plastic cup. _

_ "What kind of bet?" _

_ "20 euros that they will break things off in three months," she shrugged. He snorted.  _

_ "I'll bet a month," he replied and she laughed. _

_ "What a pessimist!" _

_ "Not a pessimist, a realist..." It was his turn to shrug. "Actually, I wouldn't be too surprised if one of them set our houses on fire after the breakup." _

_ Raquel burst out laughing, but no one seemed to notice. Everyone was too drunk to notice anything and although Sergio was, in a twist of fate, equally drunk as they were, he wondered how it was possible – how could people be in the same room as her and not be completely mesmerized by her presence? How could they hear the sound of that laughter and not laugh along with her? _

_ Suddenly, a guy bumped into Raquel, pushing her and hitting her back with his elbow, which caused her to spill the drink on Sergio's shirt, the empty cup falling on the floor soon after. He held her by the waist to keep her from falling herself and turned them both over, leaning her against the wall. _

_ "Are you okay?" He asked, concerned, his voice barely audible with the loud music. _

_ "Yes," she said, adjusting the posture of her spine, still feeling the ghost pain of the elbow that hit her. "Sorry, I got you all wet," she ran her hand over the wet part of Sergio's shirt and felt her hair fall on her face as she looked down. _

_ "It's not a problem," he shrugged and smiled when she looked back at him. Calmly, he raised his hand and placed the loose strand of hair behind her ear. _

_ Raquel looked at Sergio in silence. He suddenly looked so different - his pupils were dilated behind those familiar thick-rimmed glasses, concentrated on her as if she were the only thing that existed in that room, his lips parted as if he wanted to confess something to her. She couldn't explain exactly  _ how  _ or  _ why  _ it happened, but she felt as if her chest was on fire. _

_ She approached him in slow motion, afraid that any sudden movement could startle him, and pressed her lips against his softly. Gradually, she stepped back, searching his eyes for some reaction to what she had just done. _

_ However, he just narrowed the distance between the two of them, bringing their lips together once again and pulling her body against his. She cupped his face with her and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss as she stroked his hair and neck and felt his hands spread out on her back. _

_ For the first time in his life, Sergio couldn't think of anything else. All of his attention was focused on that moment and he was trying to absorb all the details, like the softness of her lips, the taste of vodka and lemon from the drink they shared, the way she was pulling him towards her as if he needed an excuse to press his body against hers. They leaned against the wall behind Raquel, completely absorbed in their own bubble and distracted from anything that was going on at the party. _

_ It was on that night – in fact, at that very moment – that Sergio was sure of something he had suspected for a long time. _

_ Raquel was the only fissure in his plan. _

_ As long as she existed, as long as being with her was a possibility, he would remain there. He would continue to live. He would wait for her. _

_ And fuck the plan. _

__

_ I had it all planned out before you met me  _ _  
_ _ I had a plan, you ruined it completely _ __  
_ I had it all planned out before you met me  _ _  
_ __ I had a plan, you ruined it completely


	5. Your Love Is Killing Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves!
> 
> Without further ado, here's chapter 5 ❤️
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Thirteen Thirty-five, by Dillon, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Strongest taste_ _  
__Loudest drop_ _  
__Head is filled_ _  
__The thought, unlocked_ _  
__Be together, but alone_ _  
__As the need for it has grown_

Sergio already had his back turned, ready to head for his bedroom, when he felt her hand grabbing him by the arm. It made him stop instantly, as if he had been frozen in time and space. Even if he wanted to leave, he was certain his feet would not obey him.

"Sergio..." Her voice calling out his name was still one of the most beautiful things he had ever heard in his life.

Raquel removed her hand from his arm as he turned to look at her, but he could still feel her touch linger on his skin. His breathing was shallow and his mouth was dry in anticipation as she parted her lips.

"Can we talk?" She asked, her brown eyes staring at him with a softness he couldn't even begin to describe.

"Sure," he nodded.

She glanced at Cinci's bedroom door and then turned her attention back to him. "Maybe in the living room?"

"Sí, sí," he agreed, taking a step back and stretching his arm towards the stairs for her to pass first. Raquel smiled. _Some things never changed_. "After you."

As they walked down the stairs, she looked over her shoulder to glance at him, biting her bottom lip. "Would you like a glass of wine?"

Sergio's eyes widened in surprise and he adjusted the glasses on his face clumsily. “Yeah… yeah. I would.” 

They went to the kitchen and he opened the bottle with a corkscrew while she washed and dried two glasses. Almost in absolute silence the two of them headed to the living room, where Sergio poured the wine in the glasses after the two had sat on the sofa.

Raquel looked at him with the glass of wine in her hand and smiled nervously. "I'm sorry." Sergio, who was taking a sip of his own wine, frowned at her. "What for?"

"We spent all day just fine and all it took was for me to ask you for us to talk and..." She shrugged, gesturing at an invisible line between the two. "And we're back at... _this_... again."

"This?" He asked, arching his eyebrows. "You know what I mean."

He nodded and looked at the red wine in his glass before looking at her again. "Well... what did you want to talk about?"

Raquel took a deep breath. She had no simple answer to that question. She wanted to talk about everything. She had twenty years of accumulated questions to ask, stories to tell, information to share.

After pondering for a moment, she simply smiled, as if the topic she wanted to talk about was the most obvious thing in the world. "Cinci."

"Ah, yes," he sighed heavily. Raquel tried to decipher his expression. Did he look… disappointed? He tried to smile slightly at her. "What exactly?"

"His crisis this morning... Peeing in bed... The hard time we're having during the meals, for him to eat..." She replied, breathing out the air that accumulated in her lungs along with all her frustrations.

"I read that they are common reactions after a traumatic event," Sergio replied.

"Yes. Yes, absolutely,” she shook her head, taking a sip of her wine. "But I think we should make an appointment with a child psychologist," she pressed her lips into a thin line as she lifted a shoulder in suggestion. “There have been… many changes. In his life. He needs help to understand everything and I think so do we.”

"Yes, that's true."

“I can ask a colleague of mine if she has a contact she can share. I remember her daughter was attending a well-known therapist in the field,” she continued, watching him closely.

He simply agreed. "Sounds great."

She couldn't help the smile that came across her face when she remembered something he said. She gave him an affectionate look from under her lashes. 

"Have you... been reading about this?"

Sergio felt like he was going to hyperventilate at any moment. Although he always cultivated a little bit of hope, part of him believed that he would never see that look on her face again. Not towards him anyway. He adjusted his glasses nervously, forgetting for a moment that she was already quite familiar with his tic.

"Well, yes..." He smiled, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. "I didn't know much about children before Cinci was born and it's not like being a godfather to one makes me an expert overnight..."

Raquel smiled softly. "I tried to read some things too, but..." Her smile slowly faded, making room for a wistful expression. "It was a little difficult for me."

"Yes..." He took another long sip of the wine.

He tried to think of something that could fill the silence, but all he wanted to do was hold her hand or hug her. She was the one who broke the ice again, looking at him curiously.

"What... what have you been reading about?"

“Recommendations from psychologists. Testimonials from family members and caregivers. That sort of stuff,” Sergio raised his eyebrows.

"Got it," she drank some more wine and held her glass close to her chest, as if it could protect her from feeling everything that was coming up at that moment.

Sergio cleared his throat, drawing her attention to him, and took a deep breath before he managed to make a sound. "There is... there is something I also wanted to talk to you about."

"What?" She felt her heart almost miss a beat.

"The cigarettes," he bent his head, as if he looked ashamed to bring up the subject. 

"Ah..." Raquel sighed, equally relieved and disappointed. "Yes."

"Sorry," Sergio said, adjusting the damn glasses again. "I don't want to meddle in your choices, it's just that..."

"Sure, with Cinci..." Raquel continued, understanding perfectly what he was getting at. "He already has rhinitis and sinusitis..."

"Yes, you're right. I… I'm going to try to stop,” she said, raising her hand with her palm facing him, as if making a solemn promise.

Sergio smiled and when his dimples appeared on his cheeks, she flashed him a contagious smile.

It was amazing how difficult it was for her to be alone with Sergio, not because it was strange to be with him, but because it was all so strangely familiar. It was like walking into a time capsule and sometimes she could be sure that the feeling of affection she held for him held something more than that. But no, it was impossible, it had been twenty years since they could consider themselves friends, how the hell could she still feel something like that for him? It was all the memories she had of him, it was all the emotional weight he had in her life. It was just that. 

She bit her mouth as she pondered, focusing on the texture of the sofa as she absently slid her fingers through the fabric. "Can I ask you a question?"

“Um, yeah,” Sergio nodded, interested, as he swallowed a sip of wine.

“What did Andrés say...? When you told him we would move in with Cinci,” she asked, trying to suppress a smile.

Sergio exhaled, smiling at her and remembering his brother's reaction with more ease, now that the worst part was over. "Well, his first reaction was to laugh..."

Raquel burst out laughing herself. His eyes must have sparkled when he looked at her - the sound of his laughter was still one of his favorite noises.

“The girls too! They’re ridiculous...” She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "And then?"

"Then he said he knew we would do what was best for Cinci... But that we should also think about what is best for us," he continued, with a slightly more tender smile. "And the girls, what did they say?"

"Basically the same."

He took a deep breath, thinking of the question he had wanted to ask her since he saw her in that same house a week ago. It was strange, it felt like it had been way longer than that.

“Raquel… How _are_ you? With all of this?" He straightened up, resting his arm on the back of the sofa.

"I don't know," she gave a nervous laugh. Before she could think about it, her eyes were filled with tears. “I… I miss Mónica every day. And it feels like my heart will break every time I look at Cinci and remember that his parents won't be able to see him grow up,” she said, doing her best to stop the crying.

She took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to control herself before continuing.

“I love him and I want to protect him more than anything, but sometimes I can only think about how cruel all of this is, not only to him, not only to Mónica and Dani, but also to us,” she said, almost too fast, like someone pulling a band aid out of a wound. "You know?"

Sergio felt his vision blur as she spoke. She licked her lips, taking a moment to compose herself. When she spoke again, her eyes were still filled with tears, but her voice was no longer as shaky.

“I keep thinking… about how things could have been. About the future that I imagined with you,” she said, looking at him with the greatest complicity in the world. Then she shrugged, looking down at her glass. "And then I remember all the pain and..." She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know. I honestly don't know how I am,” she finally smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Rather than allowing all of those feelings to take over, she chose to turn her attention to him. "How are _you_?"

"I... I don't know either," he paused for a moment, choosing his own words carefully. “Sometimes it sounds like a bad joke. Exactly the kind of joke Dani would make,” he rolled his eyes.

At least that brought out a genuine smile from Raquel, who emptied her glass and then reached over the coffee table to pick up the bottle. She poured herself another glass and complemented Sergio's.

"Cinci is an incredible kid and he deserved to grow up with his parents," he continued, slowly. "But if there is one thing that we both know well, it is that what’s fair is not always what really happens."

Raquel nodded softly. _Ah, Sergio… If you only knew_.

"You know what?" He said, as if he had a breakthrough. When she looked at him with interest, he seemed a little embarrassed. “It's just that… after so many years, here we are. Living together. And I realized that I don't know a thing about what's going on in your life anymore and I think if… if we're getting into this together… I don't know, maybe we could talk a little.”

"Yes, you are absolutely right," Raquel smiled, excited by his suggestion. "Where would you like to start?" 

"In the beginning, of course," he said, as if it were obvious. 

Raquel laughed. "Tell me about your post-grad."

She took a deep breath and started to speak. She had left the college they shared with their friends directly to her post-grad school in San Sebastián. At the time, recently broken up, Sergio had thought the whole thing was very extreme – she really wanted to be so far away from him that she sought a post-grad course in the Basque Country. Today, with years of maturity on his back, he could see that all her choices had to do with her, not with him.

She excitedly told him about her studies, her dissertation, and how much – however happy she was with her master's degree – she hated the academic bureaucracy. They laughed and Sergio shared with her the beauty and bitterness of the almost 15 years he spent between master's, doctorate and postdoctoral degrees.

She told him of how she started working in the cultural field, up until the time she returned to Madrid to work in the company where she was today, and he told her how, after years working in a company too big for his taste, he now worked as a freelance strategic planning consultant. Raquel couldn't imagine anything that was more like him than _planning_ and working according to his own rules.

She was happy for him. She was happy for the person he had become. In the end, he was not so different from the person he always was.

_You'd be thirteen_ _  
__I'd be thirty-five_ _  
__Gone to find a place for us to hide_ _  
__A cave or a shed_ _  
__A car or a bed_ _  
__A hole in the ground_ _  
__Or a burial mound_ _  
__A bush or a tree_ _  
__Or the aegean sea, will do for me_

They finished the entire bottle of wine in between laughters and neither of them saw the time go by. Raquel finished pouring the bottle into her glass until the last drops finally stopped, which must have given her a sip, at most, while Sergio was laughing a little louder than he should be.

She put the bottle back on the coffee table and looked at him with a playful smile.

"You know, being with you... reminds me of the old days," she confessed and he was uncertain about which phase of their relationship she was referring to. "I know a lot has happened between us... But I would like it if we could be friends again."

He smiled and, perhaps, he was a little more drunk than he would like to admit to himself, because he did not tear away from her gaze for even a second, staring at her intensively.

"Yes," he admitted, his voice a bit more hoarse than usual. "I would like that too." 

"Do you know one of the things I miss the most?"

"What?” 

"Our birthday traditions," she smiled mischievously, biting her bottom lip.

Sergio knew exactly what she was talking about. On the eve of their birthdays, they waited until at least midnight to be the firsts to wish each other a happy birthday; there were the vanilla cupcakes filled with dulce de leche they bought at the store near their old school; the celebrations that involved small rituals with a bonfire and the burning of their wishes for the year to come on a piece of paper.

"Well, your birthday is coming up, right?" He suggested, smiling. "What do you think about re- activating some of those traditions?"

"Just a few?" She pouted to try to convince him and Sergio laughed.

"I think it could be fun," he said. "I'm sure Cinci would love to take part in some of them." 

Raquel laughed out loud. "Yes. Certainly, he would.”

They looked at each other, smiling, and she felt as if some of the weight she'd been carrying these past few days had dissipated. Despite everything, they were fine.

Perhaps that silence had been going on for quite a long time, but they weren't uncomfortable. It was only when he glanced at her lips that she downed the last sip of wine into her glass rather quickly.

"I'm sorry to bother you for so long," she said, after swallowing the liquid. 

"Whenever you'd like. You’re never a bother to me,” Sergio replied with great sincerity.

"Me too," she said, smiling slightly. “Well, it's late. Tomorrow I have to wake up early and… it would already be difficult without this wine, imagine how it's going to be now.”

She got up from the couch, reaching for the bottle of wine, when he put his hand in front of her. 

"Let me wash it," he offered, reaching out to take her glass.

"You’re sure?"

"Yes.” 

"Thank you," she replied, letting him take the glass from her hand. His fingers slid on top of hers quickly and Raquel could have sworn she felt a tingle in the back of her neck as he touched her. "Good night, Sergio."

"Good night, Raquel."

She climbed the stairs slowly, careful not to trip over any of the steps in front of her, while Sergio sat on the couch with a knot in his stomach. 

He didn't know how it was possible, but even after all this time, Raquel still managed to provoke things in him that he thought he would never get to feel again.

And that scared him to the bone.

_I can say that you look pretty_ _  
__You turn my legs into spaghetti_ _  
__You set my heart on fire_

_Raquel loved her Communication and Society class. Even though she didn't understand why the hell she needed to take classes with such long hours in her final year of college, when she should be focused on writing her final paper, it was one of her favorite subjects, with one of her favorite teachers._

_So the fact that she was unable to concentrate for more than a minute in class was blatant – something was_ wrong _._

_Well, that and the damn nausea that didn't go away for one minute._

_She was sure that if she didn't leave the room at that exact moment, she would throw up on the table. So without thinking twice and without looking back, she grabbed her backpack and notebook and ran out the door._

_She was already brushing her teeth at the sink in the ladies' room when Mónica appeared. Raquel exchanged a look with her through the mirror's reflection before spitting out the toothpaste foam in the sink and rinsing her mouth._

_"I asked the teacher to come and check on you," Mónica said, approaching her friend cautiously. "You ran out with a face greener than the classroom's wall."_

_Raquel wiped her mouth with a paper towel and turned to her friend with a desperate look. "Do you think it's possible...?" Mónica asked, unsure of how she would react to the question._

_"It's possible," she nodded, breathing deeply._

_Mónica shook her head, widening her eyes. “Do you have any tests at home? Do you want to do it together?”_

_"No, I think... I think I should do it with Sergio," Raquel replied._

_"Sure," her friend agreed. "Would you like some company to the pharmacy then?"_

_Raquel offered her a grateful smile. Mónica always knew exactly what to say._

_"Yes, please."_

_A den or a dessert_ _  
__Perhaps an ink squirt_ _  
__A cellar, a wishing well, a war_ _  
__Or a guarantee, will do for me_

_Raquel had already memorized Sergio's schedule for that semester. She knew that in the last period of both Tuesdays and Thursdays he had no class and usually used that free time to study. So she knocked on his bedroom door with her heart in her hand. She had been through a few scares before, but it was usually just days of tardiness in her period that soon alleviated her conscience when she felt one or two of her premenstrual symptoms manifesting._

_This time it was different._

_Sergio opened the door and, when he saw her, his smile soon turned into a frown in concern. "What is it? Are you okay?"_

_She walked into his dorm and tossed her backpack on the couch. It was a small room, but the layout allowed the two beds to be separated by the bathroom and still had space for a small couch and a coffee table, where Sergio liked to study. Raquel thanked heaven and earth that Leon was not in the room._

_"Raquel, you are making me worried."_

_"Sergio, I'm late," she finally said, turning to see his reaction, but his expression didn't change an inch. "_ Really _late this time."_

_He seemed to be trying to understand what she was saying with the greatest patience in the world. "How late?"_

_"Two months," she replied, her eyes filling with tears. “I… I didn't notice last month, but I should have had my period that week I had all those exams. And this month, it was supposed to be last week.”_

_Sergio swallowed. Two months._

_"I don't know how it happened," she whispered. "I take the fucking pills every day." She shook her head and looked back at him, who seemed absorbed in his own world. "Sergio, say something."_

_He looked up at her, as if he was coming out of a trance._

_"I skipped the IUD," he said, in an admissive tone, and Raquel glanced at him, confused. “The copper IUD is 99.3% effective, and yet, my mother got pregnant with me using one. Contraceptives and condoms are 98% effective.”_

_Raquel shrugged, irritated. She couldn't believe he was just dumping all that data on her at a time like this._

_He approached her and slid his arms around her waist. Just his proximity made her expression soften. "All I'm saying is that it could have happened regardless of all the care we have.”_

_She nodded and he kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes, letting his affection envelop her and reassure her for a moment, and she hugged him back._

_"I bought a test," she said, very quietly, as he stroked her hair. "I wanted to do it with you."_

_"Do you want to do it now?" He asked, in the same low voice she had used._

_Raquel silently nodded. She walked away from him to get the test from her backpack, took it out of the box and handed it to Sergio, certain that he would take care of reading all the fine print in the instructions, and headed for the bathroom._

_She walked out shortly after, with the test still in hand, and noticed that Sergio was already sitting on the couch, with the instructions in one hand and his small cell phone in the other. Sergio nodded and pressed a button on his phone. She placed the test on the coffee table and began to pace impatiently around the room._

_"Díos mio, the minutes won't pass," she finally said, nervous._

_"Hey, Raquel, come here," he said, placing the paper and his phone on the coffee table next to the test and pulling her by the hands until she sat on the couch. "Look at me," he held her face with both of his hands, making her look into his eyes. "Whatever this test says and whatever you decide to do, I'm here, okay?"_

_She took a deep breath, her eyes burning with the tears she was holding back. "Okay."_

_"Come on, it's no use to keep looking at the watch," he pulled her into a hug, leaning back on the couch. "Take a deep breath."_

_Raquel hugged Sergio back, taking a deep breath as she rested her head on his shoulder. "How come you're not freaking out about all this?"_

_Sergio smiled. “I think it’s better if we freak out one at a time, right?”_

_She gave a small chuckle, hugging him even tighter. They stayed that way until the countdown ended and Sergio's phone alarm beeped._

_Raquel got up from the couch straight away, taking the test in her hands and checking it with the paper beside it._

_"What does it say?" Sergio asked, sitting on the edge of the couch and trying to hide the anxiety in his voice._

_Raquel felt as if the floor could swallow her at any moment. "Positive. It's positive.”_

_For you I found a cell_ _  
__On the top floor of a prison_ _  
__Just enough space for you to fit your feet in_

 _If you go_ _  
__Please let me know_   
_I go running with a heart on fire_


	6. Look at Where We Are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves!
> 
> Here you go, chapter 6 ❤️
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Look at Where We Are, by Hot Chip, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_From the deep silence of my mind_ _  
__Is something I'm trying to find_ _  
__When it speaks you know_ _  
__You will hear my name_ _  
__  
__Not so complex in design_ _  
__But harder to mind_ _  
__As I step, in vain_

_Raquel opened the door to her apartment in automatic mode. If someone had asked her, she wouldn't even know how she drove home from Sergio's dorm. She dropped her keys, purse and coat near the entrance door and threw herself on the couch in the living room without even realizing that Mónica was sitting in the armchair in front of her._

_"Quel?" The blonde asked, making her turn her head in her direction. "What's wrong?"_

_Raquel opened her mouth to answer her, but burst into tears again. Mónica got up from the armchair instantly, putting away the book she was reading, and went over to the couch, sitting on the floor next to it and caressing Raquel's head._

_After a while, Mónica took a deep breath, preparing herself for questions that maybe Raquel didn't want to hear. She decided to be as objective as possible._

_"Sergio?" She made the first attempt and her friend nodded quietly._

_Mónica knew that things were not going well lately. In fact, she knew that_ Raquel _was not doing well lately. Her heart ached when she saw her friend like that. Deep down, she already knew what those tears were about. They meant she had finally had the courage to do what she least wanted to, but what she needed most._

_"Did you break up with him?" Mónica's voice came softly, almost like a whisper._

_Raquel nodded again, unable to speak the words out loud. Mónica could not measure how much she was suffering, but continued to caress her friend, first her hair, then her hands, then wiping the tears from her face when the crying started to cease._

_"I thought..." Mónica sighed. She seemed, for a moment, completely skeptical about everything. "You guys love each other so much, I thought you could make it through all of this together."_

_Raquel shrugged, feeling a lump form in her throat with everything she couldn't even think to say. Finally, she gave her best friend a sad look. "Sometimes love is not enough."_

_Won't you come down to my arms_ _  
__There's something I'm ready to say_ _  
__Would you call my name?_

As she had anticipated, Raquel struggled to open her eyes that morning. She pressed the snooze button three times until she actually woke up, her eyes heavy with sleep and the slight headache from the wine she had drunk the night before. She missed her twenties, when she could mix all the drinks she found at the party without worrying about a hangover the next day.

She looked at her watch and jumped out of bed, concerned, upon realizing that she had little time before her new time to leave the house – fifteen minutes earlier than her usual schedule, because Daniel and Mónica's house was further away from her work than her old apartment.

She took a quick shower, brushed her teeth and put on one of the suits she always used for work. This one in a heathered gray hue, which matched a pencil skirt that she particularly loved. She looked at herself in the mirror, fixed her hair and was satisfied enough. She didn't like to wear makeup for work and, in fact, only did it when she had an important event to attend, so she felt like that was it for the day.

She came down the stairs holding her briefcase, her purse and her high heels in her hands and was not surprised at all when she found Sergio sitting at the kitchen table, drinking his cup of coffee and reading a newspaper calmly. He had always been an early riser. He looked up at her with a tender smile and she noticed that he was still wearing pajamas. A more casual version of the librarian's pajamas he wore when he was younger, consisting of dark green cotton pants and a plain gray shirt with short sleeves.

"Good morning," he said, folding the newspaper and making room for her at the table.

"Good morning," she replied, placing her shoes on the floor and her briefcase and bag on one of the high stools. "Is there still any coffee in there?" She pointed to the Italian coffee maker that rested on the table.

"Claro," Sergio replied, waving his hand for her to sit on the vacant chair in front of him. "There's toast too."

She approached the table and sat across from him, pouring her cup of coffee. "Gracias."

"How hard was it for you to wake up?" He asked, watching her help herself to the toast and spread some of the jam she found on the table. She gave him a curious look, and he smiled. "I heard your alarm go off about four times."

"Perdonad," she smiled, embarrassed. "I blame the wine." 

"No worries."

"Any good news in there?" She asked, nodding in the direction of the newspaper.

"Not many," he shrugged as she devoured the toast, obviously in a hurry. "But here's a good one," he amended, picking up the newspaper and opening it again to read a small piece of news. “Scientists map the Moon's surface for the first time. Scientists have launched a new official map to help explain the 4.5 billion-year history of the Moon. Called the "Unified Geological Map of the Moon", it will serve as the definitive blueprint for the geology of the Moon's surface for future human missions, for the international scientific community, educators and the general public.”

He pushed the newspaper away from his face again and saw Raquel give him a funny look and smile. 

"Wow," she said, drinking more of her coffee. "I guess they will have to update the planetarium projections then."

He laughed, watching her check her phone screen and get up, seemingly anxious.

"Wow, I need to run," she tried to get her plate and cup but, once again, he gestured with his hand. "Leave it there, you're already late."

She looked at him sideways. "You're going to spoil me rotten, Sergio." 

"It's really not a big deal."

She smiled gratefully and put the purse strap over her shoulder, picking up the folder and putting on her shoes.

"Ah, wait," he stood up, walking towards the refrigerator. Raquel stared at him, confused, until he closed the refrigerator door and offered her a ziploc filled with carrots. "Here."

Her frown only increased. "What's this?"

“These are carrot sticks,” Sergio explained, swinging the transparent bag once more.

“Yes, I can see _that_ , but why the hell are you giving me carrots, Sergio? If you are going to make a joke about my teeth and any resemblance to a rodent–” Raquel started speaking quickly, becoming enraged by the remote possibility that he was making fun of her.

She couldn't forget the time a man she had sex with once made fun of her teeth and, just remembering it, her face burned with anger.

"What?" He interrupted her, gaping at the accusation. "No, Raquel, I read that eating carrots like this helps when you feel like smoking cigarettes."

Raquel's shoulders relaxed and she looked at him deeply embarrassed.

"I would never tell you anything like that, in fact, I always thought your teeth were charming," he continued, worried that she was really upset with him.

"Ah," she arched her eyebrows. "Forgive me. And thank you,” she took the bag of carrots from his hand and put it in her bag. Then she gave him a softer look. "You've been researching?"

He shrugged, his cheeks turning red. She always thought it was really cute when he got like that, all awkward and shy.

"I thought it could help you, somehow, since I gave you the idea after all..."

She smiled and didn't notice when she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. It was a gesture that was ingrained in her memory as a habit, one of so many years together as friends and as a couple, one that she always responded with whenever he did something for her.

She had forgotten that years had passed since she last did this. And she regretted it instantly.

 _Mierda_.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"Well, I have to go," she amended when she noticed the strange atmosphere that had settled between them. “Thanks for the treat. I'll pick up Cinci at school today, okay?”

"Okay. Have a nice day, Raquel,” he said, still at a loss with what had just happened.

On his cheek, on the spot where Raquel had brushed her lips upon, Sergio could still feel his skin burning.

_Look at where we are_ _  
__Remember where we started out_ _  
__Never gonna be without each other’s love again_ _  
__Look at where we are, are, are_ _  
__I need your name_

Raquel hadn't admitted it out loud, just in a text message to Ágata, but she was nervous about the beginning of that week. In theory, it would be a test of whether all this madness would actually work, whether she and Sergio could really manage taking care of Cinci routinely while working.

However, the days went by with praiseworthy tranquility. Of course, they sometimes received news from the school that Cinci did not want to eat certain things, that he asked for more attention from the teachers and assistants and that he was having a harder time socializing with most of the children. At home, he kept wetting the bed and sometimes woke up in tears remembering his parents, but all these reactions were normal - that was what the teachers, the principal and the caregivers' testimonies on the internet forums that Sergio used to access at night said.

The important thing was that Cinci was not creating any resistance to go to school and it seemed to make him feel better being around children and distracted most of the day. Reconciling their work schedules with Cinci's schedule proved easier than she anticipated. He showed interest in going back to swimming classes and at night the three of them dined together as if, in fact, they were a family.

Raquel felt a little more comfortable around Sergio after they had talked, and although there was still an elephant in the room that they hadn't addressed, she knew that, deep down, they were both aware of how difficult it was for them without actually having to exchange any words about it.

On Friday morning, Raquel and Sergio explained to Cinci that after school the two of them would take him to meet a woman who helped children who were going through situations like his and were relieved when he did not express any disdain for the idea. They decided to count it as a blessing.

_A memory tells us that we're blessed_ _  
__But opening up this chest_ _  
__I discovered that a heart is lame_ _  
__Falling behind what we guess_ _  
__But trying to do our best_ _  
__Do we stop, do we stop in frame_

Raquel had left work early and she was actually the first to arrive at the office, fifteen minutes before the scheduled time for the session. She introduced herself to the receptionist, a very nice and beautiful woman named Tereza, and sat down in the waiting room. Around her, some parents and caregivers were sitting on armchairs while watching their children get distracted by all the toys available in the center of the room.

She looked at the children for an instant and a familiar feeling that she had never been able to name came up in her chest. She was feeling her eyes begin to water when someone opened the office door – it was Sergio carrying Cinci on his lap. She smiled before Sergio had even seen her and got up to go to them.

"Hola, mi amor!" She said, opening her arms to pick up Cinci from his arms.

"Nina!" The little one exclaimed, hugging her as soon as she took him in her arms. She kissed him on the cheek and looked up at Sergio, who was staring at them with a silly smile on his face.

"Hi," she smiled back.

"Hi," he replied, taking a deep breath and finally noticing the environment around him. "Should we announce our...?"

"Yes," Raquel nodded and led the way to the receptionist's table, Sergio following two steps behind her. "Tereza, this is the cutie who is going to see Dr. Vera."

"Say hi, Cinci," Sergio asked, raising his eyebrows at the boy, who looked at Tereza with some suspicion.

"Hi," he said quietly.

Raquel and Sergio exchanged a knowing look, holding a smile.

"Hi, Cincinnati!" Tereza spoke excitedly. “I'll call you to meet Dr. Vera in a little while, okay? And when you're leaving, make sure to stop by and pick a lollipop from that jar,” she pointed to a glass jar full of colorful lollipops and Cinci's eyes grew with interest.

"Now you spoke his language, huh?" Raquel tickled Cinci's belly and he laughed.

"Ah, I see... You're only shy when it doesn't come to your parents, right, Cincinnati?" Tereza teased.

"We're not–" Raquel stammered. Would she ever get used to answering these assumptions with any ease? She looked at Sergio, exasperated.

"He's our godson," Sergio replied, more easily than she did. 

"Ah," Tereza nodded, looking at Sergio with a smile. "Got it."

Raquel felt her jaw tighten when she saw the receptionist look at Sergio like that and, if she was feeling comfortable before, now she just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Can I play?" Cinci asked when he finally noticed the toys.

"Of course!" Tereza stated, turning her attention to the little one. "I'll call you as soon as the doctor is free."

Raquel placed Cinci on the floor and watched him run towards a box of colorful Legos. She looked at Sergio from the corner of her eyes as they walked over to a small sofa near where their godson was.

He soon noticed her look and turned to her with a curious expression. "What?"

She shook her head, pretending not to understand his question. "Nothing. I was going to tell you that Agustín confirmed he can stay with Cinci tonight, so we can go to Silene's party,” she said.

"Ah," he smiled, nodding. "Wonderful then."

"Nino, will you help me build a castle?" Cinci asked from where he was sitting on the floor and Sergio soon joined him to help with the construction.

Raquel watched them both fondly, but she couldn't help but take a quick look at the receptionist's table and was not surprised when she saw her looking in Sergio's direction. Raquel's intuition really didn't fail.

Turning her gaze to Sergio and her godson, she tried to hide the discomfort that brought her in knowing that Tereza seemed to be interested in him. Sergio was a handsome, tall, gentle and extremely intelligent man. He had a humble beauty, because he did not try very hard and his beard made him look mysterious and matched the maturity he always managed to exude. It was no coincidence that he decided to cultivate it in college - and Raquel smiled to herself, remembering the small, baby-faced boy she met as a child. Who was her best friend for so long.

She sighed. Sergio deserved to be happy. He deserved to be with someone who could like him and all his peculiar ways, who could give herself completely to him and who could understand him in the same way. A long time ago, she believed she was that person, but after all she went through, all the baggage she came with, she was increasingly sure that she did the right thing when she broke up with him.

She thought to herself that Sergio might be in need of a romance, especially after his break up with Alicia. She didn't know much about their story, but she supposed it had not ended well by the way he always strayed from the subject. She couldn't judge him, because she did the same with Alberto.

So maybe Sergio really needed to meet someone new to get over this whole story with Alicia. And who knows, maybe, that receptionist could be that person for him? This, of course, if Tereza was to take any action because she was sure that Sergio had not noticed the look that the woman had given him – despite being a brilliant academic, he was always a little slower in the romance area.

Raquel's mind was reasoning so quickly, her eyes focused on Sergio's profile as he explained something to Cinci and the two of them built their Lego construction.

Sergio was a free man. A man over 40, single and completely free. Up until the day, she didn't even feel comfortable talking to him for more than five minutes.

So _why the hell_ was she so mad?

_Won't you come back to my heart_ _  
__There's something I'm trying to say_ _  
__Would you call my name?_

Only Silene would be able to transform her cramped apartment into a party space. In the living room, she had turned off the main light fixture and scattered several colored lights. She had pushed all the furniture away from the middle of the room and hung a bunch of colorful papers from the ceiling, making it seem like floating confetti.

Sergio watched everything carefully, feeling like a fish outside the aquarium, and leaned against the frame of the kitchen door.

"I can't believe you're leaving again," he said, disappointed.

Silene shrugged. "For someone who _claims_ will miss me, you barely even saw me..."

He straightened his posture, ready to begin to justify himself, when she looked at him with a playful smile.

"I'm kidding, Professor!" She laughed, finishing setting up a tray of snacks on the counter and opening a bottle of whiskey for the both of them. "And how are things in the home of the traditional Spanish family?"

Sergio rolled his eyes, shaking his head and looking around the room to make sure there was no one listening. The music was loud and everyone seemed absorbed in their conversation, including Raquel, who was laughing between Andrés and Ágata.

"Oh... I know that face," the youngest replied, taking a sip of her whiskey and offering him the second glass when he turned to her.

"What face?" He narrowed his eyes in her direction, taking the whiskey glass from her hands. She couldn't see the room from inside the kitchen, but she could read that expression easily.

"That face you only make for Raquel Murillo," she held back a smile, biting her lip, while watching Sergio's face flush completely.

"I – I… I only have _one face_ , Silene," he stammered, adjusting his glasses on his face.

She laughed, letting out a breath and shaking her head. She met Sergio in her second year of college, when she was enrolled in an obligatory class for her curriculum and he was one of the TAs. She used to joke that he was her guardian angel, because if it weren't for the tips he gave her – ok, after _some_ insistence on her part – she would certainly have failed her final exam.

Sergio ended up becoming a mentor to Silene, and when she was in her final year of graduation, she asked him to be the advisor for her final paper. She was immensely grateful for the patience with which he guided her, it was good to have someone who could calm the constant explosions in her mind. They ended up becoming good friends in the meantime and despite only meeting Raquel through Mónica and Ágata when she returned to Madrid, she would never forget the melancholic way that Sergio commented, always very briefly, about his ex.

"Sergio, seriously, how are things?" She asked, trying to contain her concern.

"Quite well, seriously," he nodded. “We are taking Cinci to the psychologist, we have managed to establish a routine, we are getting along. I would venture to say that we are friends again.”

"Friends?" Silene's eyes widened at him, tilting her head. 

"Yes, Silene, _friends_ , like the two of us."

“ _Ewwww_ ,” the youngest made a disgusted face. "Sergio, _no_ please, _never_ compare the two of you to the two of us again, this is wrong on _so_ many different levels..."

Sergio laughed and she smiled at him.

"Hey, I have to tell you a secret," she whispered, hiding her lips behind the whiskey glass conspiratorially.

Sergio raised his eyebrows in her direction and part of him feared the worst. He never knew what to expect from Silene and sometimes that made him extremely worried.

"Me and Aníbal are not going back to Tokyo this time," she smiled, excited. 

"Really? And where are you going?”

"Monaco," she replied, presenting him with her best expression of wealth, the tilt of a shoulder included and all.

Sergio's eyes widened. He could see Silene perfectly operating all the machines in luxury casinos and drinking in the stands while watching a Formula 1 match. He also knew that all these trips were the way Aníbal found to keep her happy.

Silene never spent a lot of time standing in one place, and in fact, that was one of her main fears when she started dating the boy, who was a few years younger than she was. But Aníbal owned one of the largest information technology companies in Europe, a company he started in his first year of college and which didn't take long to take off. They certainly weren't living humbly, apart from Silene's cramped apartment where they kept their stuff in Madrid.

"I'm sure you're going to have a lot of fun, but please don't do anything barbaric," Sergio prompted.

"Don't worry, Professor, everything will be under control!" She declared, toasting her glass against his excitedly. “And… at least we will still be on the same continent this time. It will be easier for us to come and visit you.”

He smiled. Declarations of affection were not Silene's forte, but her gestures spoke louder than even her most shrill screams. That was her way of saying: _I'm here for whatever you need_.

"Now... I don't know about you..." She said, sneaking past him through the kitchen door. "But it's my farewell party and I want to get really drunk and dance!"

She walked over to where Aníbal was sitting, talking to Darko, and sat on his lap, giving him a lascivious kiss on the mouth while Darko mumbled out loud about what was the necessity of this PDA, causing the couple to start laughing midway through their make out session.

"Hey," Raquel's voice caught his attention. She was suddenly standing in front of him and he lowered his head to glance at her. She smiled in his direction and already looked slightly drunk. "Can I go in there?"

"Oh, sure," he said, gesturing with his hand and stepping out of the kitchen door for her to pass. She looked at him affectionately as she walked by and left her glass on the kitchen counter, going around Silene's kitchen looking for the materials she wanted to make her drink.

Sergio took a sip of his whiskey while looking at her. Her hair was tied in a ponytail and she was wearing a white long-sleeved sweater and black jeans. She looked absolutely beautiful.

"Are you going to keep drinking whiskey or do you want one too?" She asked, looking at him over her shoulder with a smile.

"I... _Vale_ , I'm going to have one with you," he said, drinking the rest of his whiskey in one gulp. 

"That's the spirit," she laughed, watching his face contort in a slight frown.

Raquel squeezed the lemons into two glasses while he washed his in the sink. She didn't even notice that she was moving her hips slightly from side to side, to the sound of music playing in the other room, until he leaned against the kitchen counter, smiling as he looked at her.

"What?" She asked, smiling too, without looking up from the drinks she was making. 

"Nothing," he laughed. "It's good to see you like this, happy."

She looked at him pretending to be offended. "Oh, contrary to what?" 

"You understood what I meant…"

She opened a bottle of sparkling water and divided it into the two glasses. She then turned to him with the two glasses in hand, offering him one.

"Tell me if there's too much lemon," she said as he took the glass from her hand. 

"Hey, wait up," he said, holding her wrist before she took a sip. "A toast, please." 

"Oh, of course, sorry," she smiled, raising her glass happily. 

"To what?"

"To our first night released from legal guardians' duty?"

Raquel felt her cheeks ache when her smile widened. As much as she loved Cinci, she needed to admit that it was good to have a worry-free night.

"And to more of them, please," she toasted her glass against his and then immediately took a long sip of the drink. She watched Sergio closely as he did the same.

"It's perfect," he replied. "Are you having fun?"

"Yes," she smiled. "Are you going to stay here in the kitchen all night?" 

"Parties are not my forte..." He shook his head.

"Sergio..." She rested her hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly. “Everyone here is your friend. Get out of your own head, will you? No one will judge you if you get drunk or dance funny. ”

"Are you saying I dance funny?" He made an expression of outrage at her.

"If I remember correctly, your favorite dance move twenty years ago was almost the supermarket dance," she started doing an imitation – unfortunately a very accurate one.

She reached out her arm and pretended to take something from an imaginary shelf and put it in her imaginary shopping cart, repeating the movement a few times with both hands. Sergio burst out laughing.

"Is it still like this?" She teased.

"I didn't learn any new moves, if that's what you want to know." 

"So we already know the worst one! Let's dance!"

She pulled him by the hand and dragged him out of the kitchen to a small circle where Silene, Ágata, Andrés and Martín were dancing in the middle of the room. The four of them shouted, excited, when Raquel pushed Sergio to the middle of the circle and everyone started dancing and singing around him. He pretended to be annoyed, rolling his eyes, but laughed and eased up when he saw all his friends happy.

After a while, Raquel walked away to lean against the open window, feeling the breeze caress her face with her eyes closed, and Sergio was quick to lean against the window by her side. She felt she had company and opened her eyes, flashing him a smile.

"How badly do you want to smoke now?" He asked, seeming to read her mind.

"Desperately," she replied, shaking her head.

He held up his index finger, asking her to wait for a moment, and handed her his glass for her to hold. He took a small notepad out of his pocket – and she almost asked why he had taken a small notepad to a party when she remembered it was _Sergio_ she was talking to – and then he tore out a page, putting away the pad back in pants' pocket. He rolled up the piece of paper as if it were a straw and offered her the fake cigarette, taking his drink back from her hand.

She pretended to smoke the paper straw and made a face of semi-approval. "It's not the same thing as smoking…" She pouted, disappointed.

“I'm sorry if I worry about your health,” Sergio shrugged, making no effort whatsoever to appear apologetic.

“You mean it's about _my_ health? I thought it was about Cinci's…”

He looked at his shoes, ashamed. “Well, it's for the health of both of you. For mine too, as a passive smoker, you know…"

Raquel laughed.

"The carrots are better than this," she said, frowning, as she pretended to smoke the paper straw again. "But I appreciate the gesture, I know it was packed with love," she added with a smile, without overthinking her stumbling words.

"Always," Sergio smiled back. He would have regretted what he said, but it was the truth.

Maybe it was alcohol already pulling the strings, but he didn't look away as he would have done if he were sober. Raquel could say the same, because if she was not drunk her instinct would tell her to talk, look elsewhere, get out of there. However, she remained under his gaze, the two of them smiling at each other like fools.

It was just at that moment that Silene was going to the bathroom and looked at the two of them with eagle eyes. Being an observer was not her best quality, by far, but when she was focused enough, she managed to do it with some success.

Despite everything, Sergio really seemed to be doing well. Being with Raquel always made him seem more relaxed. Happier. Part of Silene worried, because she knew he was still completely in love with her. And she knew that, even though she could also tell that Raquel still felt something for him – something that the brunette couldn't quite decipher – there were so many layers of pain there. She hoped she was wrong, but she was sure that, at some point, one of them would get hurt.

_Look at where we are_ _  
__Remember where we started out_ _  
__Never gonna be without each other’s love again_ _  
_  
_Look at where we are, are, are_ _  
I need your name_


	7. Where Do You Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone!
> 
> I'm so glad to read your comments and also to find out there are people who haven't read this story before discovering and enjoying it! It truly warms my heart 🥺
> 
> I've also begun posting my current work-in-progress in English here in AO3, it's entitled For You I Will in case any of you want to read it as well! ❤️
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Where Do You Go, by Charlotte Day Wilson, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Where did you go today?_ _  
_ _Must have been lost, the wayfarer strays, I_ _  
_ _I don't know the words to say_ _  
_ _So, "Nothing," I say, it's better that way, but_

_"Positive. It's positive.”_

_Those three words would accompany Raquel for the rest of her life. When someone asked her, hours, days, years later, how she had felt at that moment, she always failed at putting it into words. There was all the surprise and despair – she and Sergio were only 21, still graduating from college and neither had a steady job nor a prospect of a stable future to offer this child._

_During their relationship, they had already talked about, in the_ distant _future, possibly getting married and starting a family, but Raquel was always vocal about the importance of her career. She wanted to feel contemplated in her professional life before even thinking about marrying Sergio, even more so to_ think _about having a child._

_Along with despair, came the guilt. That feeling that Sergio tried to remove from her thoughts, assuring her that they did everything they could and that no contraceptive method they used would be 100% effective._

_It was not long before the fear came, the fear of suddenly seeing herself as responsible for a life other than her own, the fear of making any decision that she would regret in the future._

_Raquel was far from being a conservative woman. Romantic and monogamous, yes, but conservative, definitely_ not _. She was a feminist, a communist, an atheist and was fully aware that she had all the privileges to have access to a safe abortion, if that became her final decision – and Sergio made sure she knew, repeating again and again, that he would support her in whatever decision she made._

 _And she almost made that decision, several times. After the pregnancy test, they confirmed the result with a blood test and spent the next two weeks pondering all possible ways this could go. She_ _spent sleepless nights with Sergio, in which she vented all of her feelings and thoughts, in addition to the days when she rationally and pragmatically reviewed all her possibilities with him._

_Until, at the end of those two weeks, in another conversation in Raquel's room during another sleepless night, the two sat facing each other on her bed. She had just confessed that she felt she was making a unilateral decision for both of them when Sergio took her hands, intertwining his fingers with hers and looked at her in the most tender and complicit way she had ever seen._

_“Raquel, if you want to go through with this pregnancy, we will find a way for you to reach all your goals in your career. I will take care of everything. Even if I need to rob the Royal Mint,” he told her, in such a serious tone that Raquel instantly understood that it was a promise. “But if you want to have an abortion, I can go to the bank right now to withdraw my savings and I can go with you tomorrow to the clinic. And we don't need to talk about it later, if you don't want to. Or we can talk as many times as you'd like.”_

_Raquel took a deep breath, closing her eyes, lovingly absorbing everything Sergio had told her. She opened her eyes again and bent her head to give him a smile that mixed all the confused feelings that inhabited her at that moment._

_"The only thing I'm sure of is you," she declared, her eyes filling with tears when she saw him smile at her, slightly embarrassed. "And I don't know if I can say no to a child that is_ ours _."_

 _She spoke slowly, afraid of how the words would reach him. As much as he told her he would accept any decision she made, Sergio was the type of person who chose the clothes he would wear the next day and leave them ironed and draped on a hanger on the handle of the closet the night before. Having a child was_ definitely _not in his plans at the time._

_But Raquel would be lying if she said she couldn't quite imagine a tiny miniature of the two of them running around with plump cheeks and hands, her golden hair and those dark eyes Sergio had, in which she had lost herself so many times over the past decade that they knew each other. How could she say no to the first thing they had created together in their relationship?_

_Sergio's eyes grew in surprise and his lips twitched involuntarily. She didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry and suspected that even he didn't have that concrete answer._

_"Does this... does this mean we're going to have a baby?" He raised his eyebrows, looking for her expressed confirmation._

_"We're going to have a baby," she nodded._

_As soon as the words came out of her mouth she started to laugh and the sound was so contagious that Sergio couldn't help doing the same. They seemed to share the same thought -_ what in the world are we doing?

_Raquel bit her lower lip, shaking her head, trying to answer the question they asked themselves mentally._

_“Everything happens for a reason. The important thing is that we have each other,” she said, leaning in to kiss him._

_Mónica and Ágata, who were following the soap opera since they were sharing an apartment with Raquel, were the only ones who received the news the next day. The couple asked that the news remained a secret until they were past the initial three months, and the girls, in addition to maintaining secrecy, were the best friends she could ask for. Sergio, anxious as he was, hardly slept in his dorm room with Leon anymore – who, despite having found that a little strange, made no comment because he actually preferred having the room all to himself – and spent most of his time with Raquel._

_She, in turn, asked her friends to let her know if they were tired of Sergio's presence there, but the warning never came. It also helped that Sergio had volunteered to contribute to the apartment's bills, went to the market every week and was the best housekeeper of all four. Mónica and Ágata did not have a complaint from their most recent roommate, except the volume with which the two got intimate with each other within the four walls – but they always attributed more blame to Raquel than to Sergio in that regard._

_After four months, with the latest ultrasound in hand, they finally had the courage to tell the news to their parents and then set up a lunch with their friends at Raquel's apartment to share with them the big change that would take place in their lives._

_And it was sitting next to Sergio, with their hands and fingers intertwined, that she revealed to their respective siblings, Laura and Andrés, and her friends, Leon and Martín, they would be parents._

_Their friends widened their eyes, obviously shocked by the news, while Ágata and Mónica cheered excitedly as if it were the first time they were hearing this information._

_"How far along are you, Quel?” Laura asked, with the smile of someone who was already excited to be an aunt._

_"16 weeks," Raquel replied, adjusting herself to lay on the couch where Sergio was still sitting, placing her head on his lap._

_"Do you already know the sex?" Mónica asked, finally confident that her friend would answer the question she had been avoiding since their last medical appointment._

_"It's a girl," she revealed, showing all her teeth in joy, and Sergio also smiled, infected by her and still too excited by the news that he would have a daughter._

_"That week count... Eh, what does that mean?" Martín asked, frowning and gesturing emphatically._

_"At 16 weeks, the baby is the size of a peach and her inner ear is already formed, so she can already hear sounds and is already moving around the amniotic fluid," Sergio explained calmly, while gently caressing Raquel's belly, with his full attention directed towards her, as if they were not in the company of anyone else._

_After a few seconds of looking at each other in silence, the whole group started laughing, and only then did Sergio raise his head to look at them._

_"_ What _?" He asked, confused by the apparent inside joke between them._

_"Nothing, cariño," Raquel smiled warmly, taking a hand to his hair to give him a caress._

_"I bet Sergio bought and memorized all the pregnancy books he found," Leon teased._

_"I didn't_ buy anything _," Sergio mumbled, annoyed._

_"He borrowed them all from the university's library," Ágata added, causing a collective laugh once again._

_"Hermanita, how can you stand him by your side reciting curiosities about the amniotic fluid before you go to bed?” Andrés asked in a mocking tone, raising his eyebrows at his sister-in-law._

_"You guys are teasing him, but I couldn't have a better partner," Raquel smiled, victorious, taking her hand that was in Sergio's hair to interlace her fingers with his own that rested on her belly._

_"Awwww," Mónica and Ágata let out in unison._

_Sergio laughed, looking at Raquel, and he didn't care about the pairs of eyes of all their friends looking at them. He bent down to give Raquel a tender kiss on the lips and settled back on the couch, caressing her hair as he looked at her affectionately._

_None of this had been planned, but meeting Raquel hadn't been planned either, and she was the best thing about his life. He had no doubt that whatever came ahead – hours of labor, sleepless nights, diapers to change, an entire adaptation of their lives – it would all be worth it because he was with her._

_At that moment, Sergio Marquina felt extremely lucky._

_Baby please, I know, I know_ _  
_ _So take me please, I'll go, I'll go_

When they returned from Silene's party and wished each other good night before going to their respective rooms, Raquel couldn't help the smile on her face. While taking a warm shower, she thought that this was the first meeting between their friends that they had been to, together, since they effectively started talking to each other again and she needed to admit, at least to herself, that she liked the feeling of having him back in her life. It was as if, even after all this time, the connection between them had never been lost.

Raquel was still able to guess what he was thinking and Sergio was still able to anticipate her next action before she even moved a muscle to execute it. They had a unique way of communicating and still remembered inside jokes from decades ago - and Raquel was happy, _so happy_ , to be able to talk to him normally without the pain and suffering that they went through together being in the foreground.

However, Raquel knew she needed to be careful. Today, for a very fleeting moment, they had almost crossed the limit of the new relationship between them. As they talked by the window, she realized how his gaze lingered on her, on her lips, and as much as hers wanted to do the same, she knew it would only be a circumstance in which she would make an impulsive decision and need to deal with the fallout later. She convinced herself that she just had her head (and heart) very much focused on the past, with regard to everything that concerned him. That is why the desires of the past were mixed with those of the present. They were just friends now and it would take a little time to readjust to that situation.

She lay in bed with her vision blurred from sleep, but all her thoughts still drove her back to him. Sergio, Sergio, Sergio. She took a deep breath and, before closing her eyes, pleaded softly to any divine energy that surrounded her to give her strength to be present for everything Cinci needed; so she could manage her work; and so she could maintain a healthy friendship with Sergio. And so, despite all her best efforts, his name was the last word to come out of her lips before she went to sleep.

_You got me here, but you can't stay_ _  
_ _There's nothing missing but you  
When you run away again _ _  
_ _And I'm asking but you just can't say_ _  
_ _I thought that you had my back_

Raquel woke up lazily the next morning. Cinci had slept with Agustín, so for the first time in a while she was in no hurry to wake up. She stretched in every possible direction on the bed before finally getting up for coffee and was not surprised when, walking down the hall, she saw that Sergio's bedroom door was already open and his bed was properly made. She smiled as she descended the stairs and, upon arriving in the living room, found it strange that the melody of _Walking On Sunshine_ and the smell of pancakes enveloped her senses.

Firstly, this would _definitely_ not be Sergio's musical choice and secondly, he had always preferred savory foods over sweets, except on special occasions.

Silently, Raquel approached the kitchen and felt her lips part in a wide smile when she saw Cinci, on top of a bench, washing some utensils in the sink while Sergio was by his side making pancakes in a frying pan and stocking a pile of them on a plate on the counter next to him.

She stood there for a few seconds, just admiring the domesticity of the scene with a silly smile, when Sergio nudged Cinci's back with his fingers and, once the little boy's attention turned to him, he moved his hips awkwardly by shaking his hands with his index fingers in the air – in what seemed to be the rhythm of the music – and Cinci imitated him, equally as awkward, moving his hips with a wooden spoon in his hand.

Distracted, Cinci dropped the spoon in the sink on top of other utensils, making a loud noise that made his eyes widen in the direction of his godfather.

"I didn't break anything," he assured, worried, while Sergio smiled at him and at that time Raquel couldn't help but laugh.

The two turned to her as if they had been caught and the blonde started walking towards them.

"Nina!" The little one exclaimed, looking partially disappointed although a smile was plastered on his face. "You can't look, it's a surprise!"

"A surprise?" She opened her eyes dramatically to her godson before directing a curious look at Sergio.

"His idea, because you were still sleeping," he explained, shrugging and wiping a hand on the dish towel that rested by his shoulder.

Raquel tried to ignore how handsome he looked – with his messy hair, that white blouse in contrast to the red checkered dish towel and dark green sweatpants that matched his brown slippers – and looked again at Cinci.

"And can I know what the surprise is already?" She asked, sitting down on one of the tall stools and resting her chin on her hands.

"Only if you close your eyes first, huh, nino?" He checked with his godfather, who nodded, adjusting the glasses on his own face.

"Okay then!" Raquel agreed, with a sigh, closing her eyes and resting her hands on her lap as she adjusted her posture on the stool.

With her eyes closed, she heard a series of noises. Mainly, the noise of plates and cutlery being placed on the counter in front of her and their voices alternating small whispers.

After two minutes, Raquel was getting restless and almost opened one eye to spy on their movements when Cinci shouted, "SURPRISEEEEE!"

Raquel opened her eyes to see a stack of pancakes covered with syrup and several cut fruits scattered on top and falling down the side. Behind the artwork, the artists expected her reaction with expressions of apprehension, in Cinci's case, and amusement, in Sergio's.

"Woooow," Raquel voiced out, dropping her jaw so that the little one could see her astonishment. "This is the most beautiful pancake tower I have ever seen!"

"Did you like it?" He asked. "Look, we even put kiwis because nino said you like it."

She raised her eyebrows, giving Sergio a quick look before turning to her godson. “Well, he's right, I love kiwis. There's only one problem…"

"What is it?" Cinci asked, frowning.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to eat all of this alone!" She smiled and then Cinci laughed heartily.

" _Oh_... I can help you eat it!" Cinci suggested, shrugging. "But I'm not going to eat the kiwis, okay?"

"I'll eat your kiwi share!" She said, stealing a piece of the fruit and putting it in her mouth with greed, until she saw a cup of coffee being held out in front of her. She turned to Sergio with pure gratitude in her eyes. "Thanks."

Sharing these little moments made them both remember everything they could have had things had happened differently, but, little by little, with each day that passed in Cinci's presence, the sadness of this reality made room for the joy in seeing him feel so at ease in their presence. And once again in her life, albeit for a different reason, Raquel was sure that Sergio was the best partner she could possibly have.

_You have been everywhere_ _  
_ _Chasing away the day_ _  
_ _Facing away_ _  
_ _You made it okay  
_ _To please go and never stay_

It was Thursday when Raquel received a message from Ágata inviting her to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants - one that was half hidden among the alleys in central Madrid, but had comfortable cushions as seats for their low tables and the best Arab food from the region.

The two could only salivate when their falafel wraps were served and they toasted with their beer bottles, happy to have a moment alone in the structured chaos of their routines.

"I missed this," Raquel said, turning her head to smile fondly at her friend.

"Me too," Ágata replied, already with her mouth full, smiling with her lips closed so that the food would not escape, and the blonde had to stop laughing.

"Tell me, how are things at work?" Raquel asked. It had been a long time since they had just sat down to talk and she remembered that, the last time they talked about work, Ágata had a problem in her sector.

"Girl," the brunette practically swallowed her bite without chewing properly to update her with the details. “Here's what happened: the last administration simply _forgot_ to forward the files on the project's diligence to the administration, so when it came to our spreadsheet – which had the discount of the amounts that we needed to pass on to the fund –, everyone wanted to cut my head off! But do you know how I fixed it, Raquelcita? I had the receipts.”

"And by receipts, do you mean _receipts_ , really?" The blonde asked, taking another sip of her beer.

"No, actually, e-mails," Ágata conceded, tilting her head. "But they still have legal validity, that's what Martín told me."

"That's wonderful, then everything worked out in the end?"

"Perfect," she made an "okay" sign with one hand. “In fact, you needed to see Bogotá's face when I took everything printed to him,” she tried to mock the expression of her management companion, who she had been calling as his hometown's name for so long that Raquel didn't even remember for sure what his given name was.

Raquel laughed, biting off another piece of her wrap. “Hey, what about your love life, huh? You haven't told me anything new. Remember that I need to live vicariously through you.”

Ágata sighed, shaking her head. "If I tell you, do you swear you won't tell anyone?"

Her friend widened her eyes at the same time and leaned over the table, ready to hear the gossip first hand.

"Do you remember Julia?" The brunette bit her lower lip, trying to hide her excitement. 

"Which Julia?" Raquel frowned in thought until a person came to her mind. "Dani's cousin?"

Ágata shrugged. “We met at Dani's house that day. Or should I say your home now? _Anyway_. We've gone out a few times since then.”

"Is that all you're going to tell me?" The blonde laughed, curious.

"What else do you want to know? That she fucks me _good_ and makes the best tortilla I've ever eaten in my life?” Ágata countered, clearly with an expression of admiration on her face. God, she was in _deep_. 

Raquel smiled. “Good for you, my friend. I'm glad."

They went back to eating their wraps in silence for a moment, before Ágata took the courage to ask the question she wanted. "And how are things with Sergio?"

"They're going well, you know?" She looked at her friend, smiling calmly. “Living with Sergio has always been easy. Sometimes it seems that we never stopped...” Raquel confessed and could have sworn that Ágata had smiled, but when she looked at her, her friend had filled her mouth with a huge bite of her falafel. " _What_?"

Ágata rolled her eyes, swallowing her food so she could speak. "You have a twinkle in your eye just by talking about him."

"Shut up, Ágata."

"What? What's wrong with that?” The brunette tried to defend herself.

“The problem is that what's going on in your little head _can't happen_ ,” Raquel took another sip of beer.

"In my little head?" Ágata repeated, tilting her head and looking at her friend with an incredulous expression. "Only mine?"

“Only yours. We're _friends_. Friends with a complex history, but... friends,” Raquel replied, with less confidence than she wanted to verbalize.

"Got it."

" _Ágata_ ," she looked at her. "Spit it out." 

"When was the last time you had sex?"

“ _Madre mía_ , que _cojones_ matters?” Raquel sulked, defensive. "I'm very well, thanks. I still have that vibrator you gave me, it works perfectly.”

"Ah, yes, I will never stop praising the glory of the vibrator, but a vibrator does not kiss you or hug you after you come," Ágata pondered, turning the palm of her hand upwards, as if she were weighting a crucial point. 

"It’s 2020, they could have already invented one that does that, right?" She tried to talk it out. 

" _Raqueeeel,_ " Ágata pleaded, making an angry expression. "Tell me. How long?"

Raquel snorted before deigning to give an answer. She looked down at her plate as she replied, “Honestly… since…”

She let the silence fill the gap in her speech and it didn't take long for Ágata to connect the dots. 

"PUTA MIERDA!" She screamed, possessed.

"Lower, Ágata, for the love of Gooood," Raquel raised a hand to cover her face with shame.

"I'm sorry if I'm SHOCKED that you haven't had sex since your fucking dick of an ex," she hit her hand on the table, disgusted.

"I know," she replied quietly. "It's been almost 5 years."

" _I know._ "

Ágata paused, considering her friend's confession. "And don't you miss it?"

“Sometimes I do, but… I don't know. I haven't felt like doing it with anyone else since,” she admitted.

"Maybe you should also be going to Cinci's psychologist," she teased. 

Raquel laughed. "You are _unbearable_ , you know that?"

The brunette shrugged, eating another piece of her lunch before continuing the conversation.

"Look," she paused, thinking about how to gently voice out what she wanted to say. “I saw you and Sergio at Silene's party. That wasn't just friendship, Quel.”

“We had both been drinking. _A lot_. It's not like that at home,” Raquel said, shaking her head. "And how is it then?"

Raquel took a deep breath. "It's like we're... I don't know..." 

" _A_ _family_?"

They looked at each other and the blonde offered her a wry smile. "It's absurd, I know."

"I don't think it's absurd at all," Ágata replied calmly. “It's like you said, you guys have history. You know each other like no one else does. And if there’s still something there, you could at least tr–”

"Ágata," she interrupted.

"Okay, okay," the brunette held up her hands in defeat. "Whoever spoke is no longer here." 

"But you are right about _one_ thing."

"I am?" She asked, surprised. "I mean, I know _that_ , but about what exactly?"

Raquel smiled at her before continuing. “I need to have sex. Now, talking about it out loud… Just to think that the last person I was with was Alber–”

"– the one who shall not be named –"

"Right. I don't deserve it that he was the last sex I had – the last memory I have of so many things, in fact,” she declared.

"Yesssssss," Ágata celebrated, clapping her hands. "But I don't have the faintest idea of where to start."

"Girl, there is not _one_ sane person who would say no to any date invitation you made," Ágata said. "If you invite that stud over from your office for dinner I bet you guys won't even get to the main course," Ágata suggested, with a wink, taking a bite of her salad.

Raquel knew _exactly_ who she was talking about. She looked at her seriously, as if she really considered the idea, and the brunette's provocative expression disappeared.

"Raquel, I'm kidding," she raised her eyebrows, almost pleadingly. The blonde smiled at her, taking a sip of her beer.

"I know," she replied, nodding. But maybe she wasn't that wrong.

_But where did you go today?_ _  
_ _Could've been anywhere_ _  
_ _But I believe there's something here_ _  
_ _That you should take in_

By Friday afternoon, when Raquel walked into Cinci's psychologist's office holding the child's hand and walked over to the reception desk, she was intrigued to find out if her hypothesis from the previous week was correct.

After all, if she and Sergio really were _just friends_ , she shouldn't be so upset if a woman was interested in him.

"Good afternoon, Tereza," she said, with a friendly smile.

“Good afternoon, Raquel. Good afternoon, Cincinnati! ” Tereza replied, equally excited. "You can hang out over there and I'll call you in a little bit."

"Right. I just wanted to know if we could talk to Dr. Vera quickly before the session,” Raquel explained, placing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"You?" The receptionist frowned, looking away from Cinci and back to Raquel, confused.

Raquel was about to answer her when Sergio came through the office door, going directly towards them, and the blonde pointed with her index finger at him. "Here he is."

"Sorry, it was hard to find a parking spot," Sergio explained to Raquel before turning to the reception desk. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon. Sergio, isn't it? ” 

"Yes," he confirmed.

"Nice blouse," Tereza smiled. Raquel looked at them both, curious, while Sergio looked down, running a hand over his orange blouse.

"Thanks," he replied, awkwardly.

Raquel simply cleared her throat. "So. Can we?"

"Sure," Tereza replied, laughing nervously, as she turned her gaze to her. "Just let me know if you need me to keep an eye on the little one."

"That would be great, Tereza, thanks," she smiled.

The three of them went towards the chairs in the waiting room and, while Cinci went to play with one of the toys, the two sat silently, Sergio with his back to the entrance while she could still see Tereza perfectly, behind the reception desk, looking at them discreetly. Raquel looked at Sergio with a smug smile.

"What?" He asked, annoyed.

Rachel sighed. She knew she needed to do this to reinforce the limits of their relationship. They were friends and she wanted to make that clear as crystal.

"The receptionist is flirting with you," she whispered.

Sergio looked at her as if she had spoken Greek. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying," she shrugged, adjusting the bag on her lap while looking at Cinci with all the tranquility in the world.

"She just praised my shirt," Sergio said, still confused by her statement, before trying to change the subject. "Which is objectively beautiful, by the way."

Raquel stopped for a moment to observe his blouse, which, in fact, had a very beautiful coloring and fit.

"Too bad it's stained here," she pointed with her index finger at a spot not far from his black tie.

"Where?" Sergio looked down and, immediately, Raquel raised her index finger, tapping his chin and nose with her nail and laughing like a child. He looked at her with a frustrated expression. "You are learning these games from Cinci, aren't you?"

"Honey, who do you think _teaches_ these games to Cinci?" Raquel continued to smile and, letting her gaze travel across the space behind Sergio, she turned forward in the chair while she whispered in his ear once more. "Look behind you discreetly."

Sergio turned in his chair so fast and confused that Raquel could only laugh. Still, he turned in time to notice that Tereza was looking directly in their direction and that, as soon as she saw him turn, she looked down at a pad of papers in her hands clumsily.

" _God_ , Sergio, _discreetly_ , you are as discreet as a gazelle!" She exclaimed softly and he turned to her again.

"Okay, but I don't understand," he replied.

Raquel shrugged. "Didn't you see the way she was looking at you?"

"She could be looking at any of us," he said, before looking around and realizing that, besides the two of them, the only other people present were a mother and her six-year-old daughter.

"But she was looking at you," Raquel replied, realizing that she was heading towards them. "Do you want to bet that when we enter the office she will shoot a look at you?"

Sergio was opening his mouth to answer when Tereza's voice surprised him. “You can come in. Dr. Vera is already waiting for you.”

The two got up and, before bending over to sit with Cinci, the receptionist looked discreetly at Sergio.

"Thank you," Raquel replied to her, putting her bag's strap over her shoulder and turning her back to arch her eyebrows at Sergio.

_You got me here, but you can't stay_ _  
_ _There's nothing missing but you  
When you run away, girl _ _  
_ _And I'm asking but you just can't say  
I thought that you had my back _ _  
_ _But you’re not coming_

Three weeks. It had only been three weeks since they started sharing that house and Cinci's custody. It had only been two weeks since their entire world had turned upside down and, with due modesty, Sergio thought they were doing a great job.

Of course, Cinci had his moments, like every four-year-old child, and even more so a child who was still processing so much trauma. However, as far as Cinci's routine at home was concerned, they were doing very well. Not that Sergio had any doubts about their ability to take care of a child on a daily basis. Many years ago – so many even that it seemed to be another life altogether – they were ready to do the same together. At 21 years old.

In fact, Sergio's fear was not related to Cinci, but to both. He was afraid of being too invasive with the limits that she had clearly established over the past few years and weeks. He was afraid that living together would awaken in him all the insecurities and obstacles that had turned his heart into a minefield after the two of them broke up. And, above all, he was afraid that, once again sharing his day-to-day life with her, he would once again feel all the things he had convinced himself that he no longer felt.

Three weeks. Just three weeks with Raquel was enough time for her to destroy all the confidence that Sergio didn't feel anything for her romantically. That idea had been destroyed, smashed, completely unraveled.

And Sergio knew that there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He was happy to finally have her back in his life, he couldn't – he _wouldn't_ – risk losing her again. He certainly wasn't going to risk Cinci's well-being for a feeling that was clearly one-sided. Because Raquel wanted him back as a friend. Just as a friend.

He was lying on his bed and holding an open book in his hands as if it could give him all the answers he needed. And, at the same time, he looked at the words without being able to absorb a single line. He was about to give up and get up to take a shower when Raquel appeared at his door, knocking lightly on the wooden frame.

"Sergio..." She called to him, smiling slightly.

He smiled back at her, unsure of what she might want to talk to him at that time of night. Cinci was already asleep and normally after they put him to sleep, each one of them went to their respective room.

She bit her bottom lip, as if she was undecided about what she needed to ask him, but she did it anyway. "What are you going to do tomorrow night?"

He frowned, feeling his heart flutter in his chest. "What do you mean?" 

"Do you have plans?" She asked.

Sergio swallowed. "No. No, no plan. Why?"

Raquel looked from her feet to the lamp in his room, apparently feeling ashamed to even ask him. “Do you mind staying with Cinci? I'm… meeting someone. ”

"You're..." Sergio repeated, still confused. 

"Yes."

Then it hit him. He understood everything. Meeting someone. Raquel had a _date_. That's why, then, she had tried to get him to notice the office clerk earlier.

Sergio felt his jaw clench, but he saw the apprehension in her eyes. "No problem staying with Cinci," he replied as calmly as possible. 

"Thank you," she replied, smiling. "Good night."

"Good night," Sergio replied softly, watching her turn around and hearing the sound of her bedroom door closing behind her.

Three weeks was all the time it took for Raquel to dwell in all his daily, incessant, obsessive thoughts. He had her back in his life, but maybe he could never have her the way he wanted – and now he would have to watch her get involved with someone else while every day he would be doomed to look into her eyes, smell her perfume and hear her voice... And he would be doomed to have his heart broken every time he saw her go out that front door to meet someone else.

At that moment, Sergio Marquina felt like the most unlucky person in the world.

_You got me here, but you can't stay_ _  
_ _(You got me, baby)_ _  
_ _There's nothing missing but you when you run away, girl_ _  
_ _(Nothing missing)_ _  
_ _And all I'm asking what you just can't say, girl_   
_(Just can't say)_ _  
Thought that you had my back_


	8. If It Wasn't Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, loves!
> 
> Here we are at chapter 8. I feel like I should warn you, if you're a first timer, that you might need a tissue for the way this one ends 🥺
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter deals with miscarriage/child loss. Nothing too graphic, I promise, but I thought I should let you know.
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is If It Wasn't Broken, by Sunny War, you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_He may be empty_ _  
__So is the drum_ _  
__That brings me rhythm when I’ve got none_ _  
__How would you know you had a heart_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_

The TV was on in the living room and Sergio was sitting next to Cinci while Masha and the Bear's adventures unfolded on the screen. Cinci was mesmerized by the moving images, so much so that he only remembered to put his hands in the bowl of popcorn every 5 minutes. Sergio, on the other hand, was unable to pay attention in a single second of the cartoon. 

He ate the popcorn on his lap compulsively, as if it might make him less anxious about what was to come. He was particularly happy that he had been able to convince Cinci to watch something, because his head was not working properly for them to play anything. The only thing – or rather, _person_ – in his mind was Raquel.

And as if thinking her name gave him the ability to materialize her, she came down the stairs and Sergio's heart fluttered in his chest. She was wearing black high heels, a black pantyhose and a wine dress with long sleeves, but the length of which only reached halfway through her thighs. She had a black eyeliner, a lipstick almost the same color as her dress, her hair was half-tied into a hairdo and in her hands she carried a black coat.

He swallowed dry and felt the air get heavy in his lungs. She looked absurdly beautiful. Rationally, he was fully aware that Raquel lived the last two decades away from him. And that, like the incredible woman she was, she must have gone on countless dates and had as many partners as she wanted – but _seeing_ her _actually_ going on a date with another man was messing with him in a _colossal_ way.

All he could think about was how he had once taken her out, how he was the one who intertwined his fingers with hers as they walked down the street, who held her around the waist when she drank a little more than she should have to keep balanced on top of the high heels she insisted on wearing. He was the one who took her home, kissed her good night and, very often, slept beside her after having sex or taking a shower together.

Raquel approached the television and offered him a shy smile. The truth was that the situation was also extremely uncomfortable for her. Never, in a million years, she would have imagined that her first date after Alberto would have Sergio as her audience. And she knew he must have been just as uncomfortable, but if they were going to be friends again as it had been defined between the two, the most important thing was to dissipate all that tension between them.

“Wow, nina,” Cinci's voice caught her attention and she looked at her godson, who was wearing one-piece pajamas printed with little dinosaurs. "You look gorgeous!"

"Thank you, mi amor," Raquel replied, approaching him and sitting on his side of the couch to give him a tight hug and a kiss on top of his head.

Sergio turned his gaze to the television, his shoulders stiff with tension, and pretended more than ever to be interested in what Masha was up to at Bear's house. Raquel tried to hold a smile when she saw him so intent on watching the cartoon and she looked at the little one again.

“I'm going to go out, okay? Your tio Sergio will stay here with you,” Raquel said, stroking Cinci's cheek.

"Are you going to come back today?" He asked, very innocently, but Raquel felt her face burn nonetheless.

Sergio pretended not to pay attention and tried to avoid shooting a corner glance in her direction, but he was quite interested in the answer.

"Yes, but I hope you are already asleep by then, soon it's your time to go to bed!" Raquel exclaimed, squeezing his cheeks gently.

Then she took her phone out of her bag and looked at the screen quickly.

"Well, it's time to go," she announced, putting the phone back in the bag. "Good night, sweetie," Raquel ruffled Cinci's hair slightly as she got up from the couch and shot a look at Sergio. "Good night, Sergio."

He looked at her from under his glasses, his expression serious and measured.

"Good night," Sergio replied, in a low voice. She walked towards the door and put on her coat in silence, when she heard her name. "Raquel?"

She turned around, smoothing her hair over the collar of her coat, with a question in her eyes.

"Have fun," he said, offering her a sweet half-smile.

"Thank you," she nodded. She tried to smile back, but he had already turned his gaze back to the television. She saw Cinci lean against his side and Sergio put his arm around him. Taking a deep breath, she put her hand on the handle and opened the door.

_So you lost your baby_ _  
__So you lost your job_ _  
__So you lost all faith in the one you call god_ _  
__You came to me for refuge,_ _  
__When I’ve got none_

It was not that Suarez wasn't a handsome man. In fact, quite the opposite.

He had an unquestionable beauty to him - his tanned skin, defined jaw, wide smile and big hands, which perfectly matched the muscles he always insisted on displaying with shirts that tightened around his arms and chest. Raquel could see, objectively, all of his beauty. She could see all of his sex appeal, but there was something missing and she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

They were sitting in a very beautiful Italian restaurant, chosen by him and which apparently had the best ravioli in Madrid. Raquel had been a little surprised at how right Ágata was – all she had to do was present herself with a smile at Suarez's desk at work and ask if he would like to go out to dinner on Saturday. And _bam_. There they were. _Not bad for someone who hasn't been on a date in five years,_ thought Raquel.

Except that now that they had ordered their drinks – a brandy for him and a glass of wine for her – the two were in a slightly uncomfortable silence. It was then that Raquel realized that she knew _nothing_ about the life of her co-worker. In fact, she didn't even remember exactly what his role was within the communications department, but she thought it might be very rude of her to ask.

"So..." He cleared his throat, smiling at her gallantly. "I must say that I was quite surprised by your invitation."

"Surprised?" Raquel repeated the word, frowning. "Why?"

"Well, it's just that... we never talked much at the office," he replied, shrugging. "In fact, I never saw you talk too much to anyone in there."

She nodded as she thought about it. She had never made any effort to become friends with the people she worked with. Not that there was any problem with them, but Raquel already had her group of friends and did not feel a particularly strong connection to any of her co-workers. She talked to them in the communal kitchen, she knew everyone's name, but if she didn't feel like taking part in social gatherings outside the office before, now that she had Cinci, she had the _perfect_ excuse.

The waiter arrived with the drinks before she could answer anything. "Do you already know which entries you would like?"

"I want the caprese salad, please," Raquel replied, smiling at the waiter.

"I'm going to have the toast with sardela," Suarez asked and she couldn't help but wince. "What?" 

"Sorry, I hate fish," she replied sincerely and he seemed unsure how to respond to that confession.

They returned to the initial silence and Raquel wanted to be swallowed by a hole in the ground. She wanted it to be as easy to talk to him as it was talking to Sergio, but she knew that was not a fair comparison. She had known Sergio since they were children, they had many subjects and preferences in common, they shared the same sense of humor. It couldn't be like that on a first date with the first guy she'd dated since Alberto.

She wanted to roll her eyes when she remembered _Alberto_. She wanted it to be possible to purge her memories of him from her mind. He had been the first man she had been with since Sergio and what a terrible follow-up he had been. It would have been much better if she had kept to herself rather than having spent three years with Alberto, even though things seemed good at first.

Suarez started to talk about the cultural scene in Madrid, but the words that came out of his mouth came in through one of Raquel's ear and out the other while she wondered what Sergio and Cinci were doing at that moment. The last Saturday they spent together, they had ordered pizza and had a Toy Story marathon and Cinci had made a point of putting all his favorite toys sitting with them on the couch to watch the saga.

She remembered that when the end of Toy Story 3 came and she started to cry, Sergio looked at her trying to keep himself from laughing. She swore he was going to make fun of her, but the first thing he said he was thinking about was exactly what was going through her head: her favorite cloth doll that Laura painted with a marker when she was 12 and they fought for some stupid reason.

Sergio remembered Raquel came in his room sobbing, because it had been a gift from her late grandmother and she was sure that her _smart_ friend would know how to remove the marker's paint. He _didn't_ , actually, but that didn't stop him from helping Mariví and Raquel in their countless attempts to clean the doll, which ended up a little faded but survived. Raquel admitted that the doll was still in her old room, at her mother's house, and that she still complained to Laura about it to this day.

"Raquel?" Suarez's voice brought her back to the restaurant and she blinked twice before realizing that she had no idea what he was talking about these last few minutes. "Where did you go?"

He laughed, but something about his expression made Raquel realize that he wasn't really interested in her answer. She saw his gaze fall on her cleavage and she put her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands, to draw her attention to her face.

"I was wondering what your exercise routine is to stay... in shape," she smiled, trying to change the subject and focus on what she was _really_ interested in.

Going on a date with Suarez was never about pursuing a relationship - it was all about _sex_. And he was the perfect person for a one night stand. He began to describe, in too much detail, his training routine and although Raquel had no trouble imagining him working out his triceps, she was bored again after a sentence. Not even her libido was helping her.

It had been five years since she had sex with anyone and even then the memory of the best sex of her life was the New Year's Eve that she spent with Sergio in Barcelona in their first year of college when they missed the fireworks because they were too busy having sex in all the corners of their hotel room.

Raquel took a deep breath again to hold back her urge to scream. Everything, absolutely _everything_ , made Sergio appear in her mind. In the end, it wasn't about Suarez, or Alberto, or her libido.

The whole thing was actually very simple: no other man was Sergio Marquina.

And when she realized that, all she could think was – _what the hell am I doing here?_

_How would you know you have a heart_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_

It was right after the main course that Raquel had an idea – she excused herself to go to the bathroom and took her bag with her. She didn't think twice before calling Ágata, who answered after three rings. She hoped she wasn't interrupting an intimate moment, but Ágata more than anyone had to understand that this was an emergency. She had done this for her a few times in the past few years and it was her turn to return the favor.

"Quel?" Ágata's voice sounded hoarse on the other end of the line. 

"Ágata!" The blonde exclaimed, relieved. "Sorry to disturb you..."

"It's– it's okay," her friend replied, confused. "What is it? Did something happen?"

"I need to ask you a favor," Raquel explained, biting her bottom lip. “Can you call me in two minutes? I… I need an excuse to get out of here.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "Quel, where are you?"

"Hm, out and about," she replied. When Ágata said nothing, she blew out a breath. "At a restaurant. With Suarez.”

Ágata let out an incredulous laugh. "Raquel Murillo, are you on a date?" 

"Can we talk about this later?" She scratched her head nervously.

"Okay," she replied, releasing an exhalation that Raquel managed to translate perfectly into words. She already knew Ágata way too well to know exactly what she meant, even when she said nothing. "Two minutes?"

"Two minutes," she replied, nodding. "Gata?" She called her one last time, purposely using the nickname she and Mónica used with her in college. She already imagined the face her friend was making on the other end of the call. "Gracias."

“Call me tomorrow at a common peasant's time. I want to know everything,” she replied, hanging up the phone.

Raquel put her cell phone in her purse and returned to the table with her best smile plastered on her face. She sat down and started a conversation with her colleague about the restaurant's decor that didn't last long before being interrupted by Ágata's call. She feigned surprise, apologizing for taking the call while Suarez watched her curiously.

"Hello?"

"Babe, you gotta help me, my pussy is on fire!" Ágata exclaimed on the other end of the line, holding back a laugh. She heard another laugh beside her and soon assumed that she was in Julia's company.

Raquel had to take a deep breath to keep from laughing herself and almost cursed Ágata for it. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"I don't know, the last mint lubricant I used was not water-based, do you think that could be it?" Her friend continued, obviously enjoying the whole situation.

"Yes," the blonde replied, making her best expression of concern and pausing before continuing her performance. "Of course, I'm on my way."

"Don't forget to–"

Raquel hung up the phone before she heard any little joke that Ágata had to say and looked at Suarez with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry," she said. “It's a friend, she is not well. I need to go see her.” 

"What happened?" Suarez asked, arching his eyebrows in concern. Raquel cleared her throat. 

"It's... an intimate problem."

He frowned, taking a few seconds to understand what she meant. "Ah..."

"I'm really sorry, thanks for dinner, I had a great time," she said, getting up from the table and taking her coat from the back of the chair.

"I can drive you if you want," Suarez offered, almost getting up from his chair.

"No!" Raquel urged, far too quickly. "I mean, I think she would prefer if I arrive alone." 

"I see," he replied, sitting down again with an expression of complete loss on his face. 

"Sorry and thanks again," she smiled, embarrassed. "Good night, Suarez."

And with that, she left the restaurant without looking back and got into the first taxi she saw passing on the street. She typed a quick message to Ágata on the way back, saying only "I hate you but thank you" and received a gif of Morticia Addams drinking tea in response.

It had not even rounded up two hours since Raquel had left the house and she was already happy to be back. She opened the door, careful not to make a noise and was surprised to find Sergio lying on the sofa with Cinci on top of him, his little arms around his godfather's waist, both sleeping peacefully while the television screen projected a series of colorful lights on them.

Raquel felt her heart tighten in her chest. And she knew, in that moment, that if someone asked her to define the feeling of _home_ , that was the scene that would appear in her mind. Sergio, in his white shirt and dark blue cotton pants, his glasses crooked on his face, with Cinci in his favorite dinosaur pajamas, hugging him on the couch – the two of them sleeping with no apparent concern.

She released a breath she didn't even know she was holding back. In silence, she took off her shoes and hung her coat and bag on the hooks by the door. She approached them both cautiously, turned off the television and, for a brief moment, allowed herself to watch Sergio's face while he slept.

She brought her fingers to his hair, brushing away a few strands that fell on his forehead, and when she noticed what she was doing, she pulled her hand back at once, pressing her nails against the palm of her hand.

She took a deep breath and turned to take Cinci in her arms and carry him. He didn't even open his eyes to wrap his legs around her waist and rest his cheek on her shoulder. Raquel went up the stairs slowly, using her elbow to turn on the light in the corridor, and took the little one to his room, placing him on the bed, covering him with the sheet and turning on his night light.

When she left Cinci's room, she found Sergio walking up the stairs, his eyes swollen with sleep, his hair messy and his glasses still slightly crooked on his face.

"Hi," Raquel smiled slightly, leaning against Cinci's door to leave the usual crack open while keeping her gaze fixed on Sergio.

"Hi..." He replied, still a little dazed from sleep. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I just got in," she explained, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. "I was just going to wake you for you to come up."

"Thanks," he replied, adjusting his glasses on his face. He turned his gaze to the floor and, with some hesitation, looked at her again with the question on the tip of his tongue. "How... how was it?"

Raquel opened her mouth, but no sound came out. How could she explain to Sergio that her date was shitty because he was the only thing that did not leave her mind? How to say out loud that she was afraid she never stopped loving him, even after all these years apart? How to say that he was the only person who made her feel at home anywhere?

She was unable to verbalize any of this. It was as if all the words got stuck in her throat and all that overflowed from her mouth was a low voice that answered: "It was fine."

Sergio's eyebrows shot up in response. 

"Oh," he replied, almost inaudibly. Then he took a deep breath, trying to hide his disappointment, and offered her a weak smile. "That's good."

She nodded and the two stood there for a moment, enveloped in a silence filled with tension. Raquel swallowed her saliva, trying to recover her voice.

"I'm going to take a shower," she announced and he nodded. "Good night, Sergio."

"Good night, Raquel," he replied, pressing the light switch in the hallway before entering his room, leaving her completely in the dark.

_Many will hurt you_ _  
__You’ll hurt them too_ _  
__You leave them high and dry,_ _  
__They’ll leave you blue_

_Raquel was sitting in the hospital waiting room, barely feeling her right hand. She didn't know who squeezed harder – her, when she felt the waves of unrestrained pain, or Sergio, who held her hand tightly while looking around and waiting for the moment when she would be called for medical evaluation. They had been waiting there for over half an hour and had not yet been called in yet._

_"This is absurd," he huffed, annoyed by the delay._

_"Hey, cariño," Raquel gave his hand two light squeezes to get his full attention. He turned to her with a frown and she smiled at him, as much as she could with the pains that came and went like waves. "I'm going to count to ten and they are going to call us," she said, trying to distract him from his own anxiety. "Wanna bet?"_

_He chuckled and for a second all he could think was that he loved her_ so much _. How could she be there, in pain for over an hour, and still be the one trying to calm him down?_

_"Uno..." She started to count and, when she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand tighter, Sergio understood at once that the pain had returned. "Dos..." She breathed slowly, with difficulty. "Tres…"_

_"Raquel Murillo, office number three," the receptionist announced from the counter._

_"Finally," Sergio murmured, getting up and helping her stand up as well._

_"See?" She raised her eyebrows at him._

_They entered the appointed office and sat by the table facing the doctor, a man who, judging by the deep dark circles under his eyes, was coming straight from a long shift._

_“Good afternoon, Mrs. Raquel Murillo, I am Dr. Nair,” he introduced himself. "What brings you here today?"_

_“It's Miss Murillo,” she corrected him with a smile. "This one hasn't given me a ring_ yet _," she pointed to Sergio, who let out a hoarse laugh. "And I've been in pain for about an hour."_

_"An hour and eleven minutes to be exact," Sergio added._

_"Okay, and on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being unbearably strong, how would you define this pain, Raquel?" The doctor asked, writing down a few things on a chart._

_"Between 6 and 8, depending on the moment."_

_"And you are..." He looked at the chart to make sure he had gotten the information right. "At 22 weeks, isn't it?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is it your first pregnancy?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Did you bring the prenatal exams?"_

_"We brought it," Sergio said, taking a folder out from under his arm and handing it to the doctor, who opened it to find all the tests, requisitions and vitamin labels separated by categories._

_“I see that you are very well organized,” the doctor seemed to enjoy himself and Raquel smiled back._

_"Not us,_ he _," she pointed her head in her boyfriend's direction. "Ouch," she moaned and the two men turned their attention to her._

_"Raquel, can we go to the stretcher for a general evaluation?"_

_With Sergio's help, the doctor had Raquel lay down on the stretcher to go through the physical exam – he had her temperature and her blood pressure checked and both her heart rate and the baby's were heard, as well as the doctor pressed his hands onto her abdomen, trying to make sense of her case._

_"Well, Raquel, besides the pains, I can see that you have a slight dehydration," the doctor explained. “We're going to treat that and we'll dilute a medication to relieve these pains, ok? Do you have any allergies?"_

_"No, none," she replied._

_"Okay, you can stay right here and I'll ask a nurse to get a wheelchair – we want you to move around as little as possible," he explained calmly. "As soon as you are hospitalized, I will come visit you again."_

_It took less than twenty minutes for Raquel to be taken to the hospital ward. The nurse, who was also very friendly, put her on a serum and Buscopan and within half an hour she could already feel the relief when the pain subsided a little. Sergio was standing beside her, holding her hand and stroking her hair the entire time._

_“Cariño, don't you want to sit down? I'm fine, really,” she said, caressing the back of his hand with her thumb._

_"I'm fine right here," he said, leaning against her bed. “Mariví and Laura are here, but the nurse said you can only have one companion per patient. In a little while I'll go out to–”_

_"No, stay here with me," she asked, her eyes shining, almost in tears, with the possibility of him leaving her side. "Please."_

_He nodded, lowering the hand that was in her hair to caress her face gently. "Of course."_

_Eventually, he managed to pull the chair out of the corner to get as close to the bed as possible. He tried to distract her with the latest news that Andrés had told him about his trip to France and she was laughing at her brother-in-law's misfortunes and misadventures when her eyes rolled to the back of her head. Sergio called the nurse, desperate upon seeing her unconscious._

_The medical team came in and somehow, he didn't know exactly how, managed to drag Sergio out of the curtains that separated her from the other people in the ward._

_He heard several words being thrown around and, although he knew what each one meant, none of them made any sense because he could not even absorb them in order they were said. Suprapubic pain, absence of uterine dynamics, fetal heartbeat, hypotension, cyanosis, prophylaxis._

_After an extended period of time, which Sergio could not say for sure how long it was, Dr. Nair appeared with a diagnosis. Acute abdomen, signs of hypovolemic shock,_ operating room _._

_Nothing made sense. Raquel was laughing and talking to him just then, what the hell was the doctor talking about?_

_Sergio felt frozen in the hallway when they took Raquel to the operating room. The nurse guided him back to the waiting room, but with each step he took it seemed that he needed to lift his feet up from quicksand. His legs weighed tons. He couldn't hear any sound around him._

_And when he arrived in the waiting room and saw Mariví and Laura receiving the same news that he had received from the doctor, he couldn't feel time. The women started to cry and Sergio still did not understand what was happening when Mariví hugged him, tightening her grip around him._

_At that moment, which seemed to last an eternity, Sergio could not remember how to breathe._

_The love you share_ _  
__Is worth the world and more_ _  
__That’s why you care_ _  
__That’s what you start for_ _  
__You came to me for refuge,_ _  
__When I’ve got none_

_Raquel opened her eyes with great difficulty. When she finally managed to absorb the luminosity of the room, it still took her a while to understand where she was and remember what had happened. The last thing she remembered was being in the hospital ward talking to Sergio._

_She looked around and found him right beside her, sitting in a chair and with his head resting on his arms._

_"S-Sergio?" She called him, her voice still shaky._

_He raised his head instantly and pressed the button on the side of her bed._

_"Hey," he stood up, immediately getting close to her._

_Sergio tried to smile, but Raquel knew right away that something was_ very _wrong._

_Dr. Nair came into the room saying something, but she couldn't hear what it was. She looked down at herself and that was when she realized._

_“Where is she? Sergio, where is she?” She asked, agitated, trying to get out of bed only to feel a sharp pain in her belly._

_"Raquel..." Sergio gently pushed her back onto the bed. His voice was shaky, his cheeks shone as if they were damp._

_What was happening?_

_“Raquel, I'll explain everything to you, okay? You had to have a C-section,” Dr. Nair began, slowly. “Your daughter needed to be intubated while we were finishing your surgery. You had a lot of bleeding from a uterine artery, and after we stopped the bleeding, we noticed that the area had fibrosis and a suspected focus of endometriosis. We had to do a subtotal hysterectomy.”_

_"A what?" She looked at Sergio with tears in her eyes. "Sergio,_ where is she? _" Sergio, who could not keep himself from crying any longer, just shook his head._

_"Raquel," the doctor called her again. “We did everything we could, but unfortunately, your daughter did not survive. I'm so sorry."_

_The words came like a punch to her gut, the air didn't seem to reach her lungs, she felt every extremity of her body tremble._

_“Where is she? I want to hold my daughter,” she pleaded._

_Dr. Nair nodded. “We will bring her in as soon as possible. I will leave you two alone.”_

_She couldn't think, couldn't hear, couldn't feel anything. Tears started to stream down her face, her gaze lost somewhere in the room. She felt Sergio's arms around her and allowed herself to lean against his chest, her fingers weakly gripping the hem of his shirt as she plunged her face into the fabric. She was crying copiously and, still, no sound came out of her throat._

_Silence echoed everywhere._

_And later, when they were finally able to hold her in their arms, Raquel knew that not even that deafening silence would be able to mute her pain._

_How would you know you have a heart_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_ _  
__If it wasn’t broken_  
 _If it wasn’t broken_ _  
If it wasn’t broken_


	9. In Your Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! ❤️
> 
> Chapter 9, are you ready? Well, even if you're not, without further ado, here we go! 😂
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is In Your Arms, by Baby Rose you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Find a way, so-called_ _  
_ _But I'll never get there, I, if I go slow_ _  
_ _Looking around with my head down_ _  
_ _And it doesn't look too good, where I stand now_

The next day, when Raquel found him in the kitchen in the morning, she was afraid of how things would be between them, but Sergio greeted her with a smile on his face and talked to her as if everything was normal.

Part of her was relieved, she didn't want to lose everything they had been rebuilding together in the past few days, but the other part was wondering if that was a sign that he didn't feel the same way she did.

She kept that doubt to herself, even when she spoke to Ágata on the phone after lunch.

She let the week go by, avoiding Suarez's glances at the office and just greeting him politely, following the routine with Sergio as if nothing had happened because, if he didn't seem to be affected, why would she behave differently?

In her messages and calls, her mother and her friends asked her incessantly what she would do to celebrate her birthday on Saturday, but Raquel constantly invented a different excuse for her unwillingness to think about a celebration.

All she wanted to do was spend the day with Cinci and, for her, her birthday would be complete.

 _Okay_ , maybe for it to be complete she needed Sergio too.

_'Cause I tried my best and it just didn't feel right_ _  
_ _I walked that path without that peace of mind,_ _  
_ _I Looked around at everyone, but inside my_ _  
_ _Like where do I go? What do I know?_

"Nina?" Cinci's voice made her wake up immediately. Her first instinct was to adjust herself in bed, worried, but it just took a glance at the eager smile on his face to realize that everything was fine.

He was standing on the side of the bed and holding a small cupcake in his hands, with a lighted candle on it. Sergio was standing beside him, looking at her with a warm smile that matched his godson's face.

"Feliz cumple!" Cinci exclaimed, jumping on top of her on the bed.

"Thank you, mi amor," she held the cupcake in one hand and gave him a tight hug with her free arm.

“Happy birthday, Raquel,” Sergio wished, making her look at him fondly.

"Do you know what time it is?" Cinci asked, kneeling and sitting on his heels, clearly very excited. 

"Hummmm," Raquel pretended to think about the answer. "Nine?"

"Midnight!" He exclaimed. “Isn't it, nino? Nino said we could only wish you feliz cumple after midnight.”

"Ah, really?" Raquel straightened up on the bed, folding her legs and making space in front of her on the mattress. “Come on, Sergio, sit down,” she indicated the free seat with her chin and he timidly sat in front of her.

"Blow out the candle, it's melting on the cupcake!" Cinci pointed to the melted wax that was accumulating on the surface.

Raquel closed her eyes for a moment and then immediately opened them again to blow on the candle.

"Did you make a wish?" The little one asked.

"I did," she replied, removing the candle from the cupcake and looking for a place to put it without getting all of her things dirty. Sergio held out his cupped palm and she placed the candle there with a grateful smile. "Sergio, is this the cupcake...?"

"The one and only," he replied, nodding. She smiled excitedly and the first thing she did was take a bite of the cupcake and her eyes turned white when the taste of dulce de leche invaded her mouth.

"Do you want a bite, Cinci?" She asked, still with her mouth full, holding out her hands to him 

Cinci happily grabbed the cake, biting off a huge piece of it, and Raquel saw small crumbs fall on the sheet, but in that moment she didn't care. She handed Sergio the last piece in her hands, but he shook his head politely.

"You can have it," he replied.

"Sergio, _for God's sake_ , eat," she insisted and this time he couldn't refuse. He ate the last piece and smiled.

"Can I stay up until morning?" Cinci asked and the two adults turned to him with raised eyebrows, answering in one go:

_"Of course not." "Definitely not."_

“So can we make a deal? I will go to sleep now if we can go to the beach tomorrow!” He resolved, with all the ambition that his four years allowed. Raquel laughed. He was definitely Món and Dani's son.

She gave Sergio a look from the corner of her eyes and shrugged, silently asking his opinion. He nodded - he honestly couldn't think of anything better than spending the day with Raquel and Cinci on the beach, and he didn't even like the beach that much.

"It's a deal, now let's brush your teeth and go to bed, okay?" She grabbed the boy, standing up from the bed with him in her lap and showering him with kisses.

She didn't see where Sergio went while she put Cinci to sleep, but when the little boy fell asleep after a bedtime story, she realized, reaching the hall, that the light in the living room was on.

She went downstairs and found Sergio crouched beside the coffee table, lighting a miniature bonfire inside a ceramic plate. On the side of the coffee table were two pieces of paper and pens.

She smiled, slowly approaching as the small flare rose and danced with the air around itself until she stopped by his side. Sergio got up to see her better and smiled.

"It's not quite the bonfire we were used to, but..." He said, putting his hands inside his pants' pockets.

"It's perfect," she replied, holding his forearm and caressing him with her thumb, and she felt tears form in her eyes.

"Well, do the honors, please," he said, gesturing to the papers next to her.

She sat on the couch and took one of the papers. She pondered her request a little, biting the pen cover while she thought, then finally wrote her wish on the piece of paper and folded it in two.

"There," she stood up, making room for him. "Your turn."

He sat in the same place where she had sat and quickly wrote something on the remaining paper. He folded it in half and stood up next to her. He watched in silence as she took a deep breath and put her folded paper on the fire, watching it burn to ashes. He did the same right away and the two stood for a moment, just watching the fire move around itself.

"You were right," he said, his gaze still on the flares. "These rituals were very much missed." 

"Yes," she shook her head affirmatively before turning to look at him. “Sergio, thank you. Really." 

"It was nothing," he turned to face her, adjusting the glasses on his face.

"Quite the contrary," she shook her head, trying to emphasize each word. She looked at him and took a deep breath. "Thank you _so much_ ," she muttered. "For everything."

She closed the distance between them, putting her arms around Sergio's waist and pressing her cheek against his chest. He was unable to react in the first instance, startled by her physical touch breaking every barrier they had built, but soon returned the embrace, wrapping her in his arms in a loving and tight hug, resting the side of his face on the top of her head.

They stayed in the warmth of that embrace for a while, recognizing the sensations of each other's bodies, both so familiar to their memories and so different from all the others they had experienced. Raquel felt Sergio's fingers lightly caressing her back and tightened her arms around him even more.

That was it. That was _everything_. All she needed was that and nothing more than that. 

When they finally pulled away, she offered him a small smile, and he unwillingly walked towards the stairs.

"Good night, Sergio."

"Aren't you going to bed?" Sergio asked.

"I'm going to stay here for a little while," she replied, sitting on the couch and smiling at him. He nodded and silently went upstairs to his room.

Raquel stood there watching the flames slowly burn until the small sticks and pieces of coal were completely consumed. She thought of her wish and when she realized that she was the only one who could do something about it, she sighed deeply.

What she needed was a dose of courage.

_Show me how to live, show me how to try_ _  
_ _Show me how to give, show me how to die_ _  
_ _In your arms, where I belong_ _  
_ _You're all I want, you're all I want_

Cinci was playing in an inflatable pool, under the beach umbrella, doing the most diverse sounds while dipping his dolls and toys in the water. Sergio was sitting on a foldable chair in the shade, next to him, with an open book in his hands, but he couldn't look anywhere but directly in front of him, where Raquel was lying on a towel, sunbathing in a bikini with her eyes closed and feet buried deep in the sand.

He thanked internally several times for having remembered to bring the sunglasses that were hiding his eyes at that moment, because as much as he tried, his gaze always turned back to her.

Raquel was happily absorbing the sunlight.

She sat up slowly and reached for a bottle of suntan lotion from her bag. She spread the liquid in her arms and torso gladly – she hadn't been to the beach in a while and she wasn't going to miss her chance to get a tan. She spread the product on her shoulders before letting out a short breath, frustrated, and glancing back at Sergio, who seemed to be looking at the sea with a serious expression.

"Sergio?" She called out to him, who seemed to freeze the moment he heard his name. She bit her bottom lip, showing him the bottle in her hands. "Can you help me with my back?"

Sergio nodded, feeling his face flush completely, and took the bottle from her hand. Supporting his knees on the towel she was sitting on, now with her back turned to him, he spread the oil in his hands and slowly began to spread the product on her back. He touched it carefully, as if any false movement would drive her away or make her disappear under his own hands. Little did he know that Raquel was trying to control her breathing as much as possible when she felt his hands caressing her shoulders, her ribs, her lower back...

She closed her eyes, focusing only on the skin grazed by his hands and the air that came in and out of her lungs. He stopped earlier than she would have liked, placing the bottle beside her crossed legs.

"There," he said, offering her a shy smile when she turned to face him.

"Thanks," she said, watching him compulsively wipe his hands on a towel. His cell phone vibrated incessantly on top of the book and as soon as he sat down he unlocked the device to identify what it was about.

Raquel continued to watch him, curious. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he replied, taking one last look at the amount of messages accumulated before putting the phone back in his pocket. "It's just... work stuff."

What Raquel didn't know, however, was that Sergio had been added to a Whatsapp group called “Quel's Surprise! 4.2”, where Ágata kept sending coordinates and details for the event that was scheduled for that night and Andrés answered all her messages with a different sticker.

The group was in chaos, with 382 unread messages, and several messages from Ágata to Sergio were accumulated in his private inbox. A quick glance through the notifications was enough for him to see that the worst part had been reserved for him: finding a way to take her to the party site without raising her suspicions.

_Show me how to live, show me how to try_ _  
_ _Show me how to give, show me how to die_ _  
_ _In your arms, where I belong_ _  
_ _You're all I want, you're all I want_

If there was one thing that Sergio was grateful for, it was the fact that Ágata had decided to organize the surprise party at Mariví's house. Agustín had offered to stay with Cinci so that she could enjoy her birthday “dinner” quietly, so all Sergio had to do was update Laura and Ágata of his estimated arrival time and the exact moment they parked the car.

Raquel was already getting a little irritated whenever she saw him looking at his cell phone. Which was becoming a constant. She couldn't help thinking that maybe he was talking to a woman through the messages, judging by his nervousness and the speed with which his face changed from a serious expression to one that needed to purse his lips to refrain from laughing. She snorted impatiently as he walked around the car, quickly typing something on his cell phone and putting it in his pocket shortly thereafter.

"What?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Nothing," she replied dryly, shaking her head as they walked to Mariví's door.

“I haven't been here in a long time,” Sergio revealed and her expression instantly softened as she looked at him. "Since they sold the house."

"Mamá will be happy to see you," she offered him a small smile before knocking on the door. When no one answered, she knocked on the door again. "Is she in the back?" 

Raquel tried to open the handle and was surprised to find that the front door was open. 

"That's weird."

She pushed the door open, and instantly a crowd of people screamed "SURPRISE!" while balloons and streamers were thrown upwards in celebration.

"I can't believe this..." Raquel looked around with her mouth open when she saw her mother, Laura, and so many of her friends gathered under the same roof - Ágata, Andrés, Silene, Aníbal, Júlia, Leon, Martín, Darko and Yashin. She was so moved that she didn't even think it was bad to see some familiar faces from her office.

She hugged Mariví, who seemed to be happier than the birthday woman with the party, and while greeting all the guests, gave Sergio a gaze that expressed her disbelief, and he simply shrugged and lifted the beer bottle that had already landed in his hand in a kind of toast.

_Pattern showed the golden road_ _  
_ _It's a story of my mind that is not told_ _  
_ _The humble died, my mama cried_ _  
_ _Don't remember the last time when we just talked_

Raquel was opening her second bottle of beer, watching Sergio chat animatedly with Mariví and Laura from across the room, when Suarez approached her with a smile and only then did she remember. She hadn't talked to him properly since their date. When she had bailed on him.

"I haven't had a chance to congratulate you yet," he said, looking her up and down. "Happy birthday." 

"Thank you," she replied, taking a sip of her beer. "Are you enjoying the party?" 

"Ah yes, your friends are a lot of fun."

"They are, indeed," she nodded.

"We can also have fun later, if you want," he suggested, arching an eyebrow and looking directly at her lips.

"Suarez, look..." She took a deep breath, trying to choose her words carefully. “I thought I was ready to go out with other people, but… I realized that… I still have feelings for someone else. I don't want to be unfair to you and I'm really sorry for all the confusion, really.”

The words all came out of her mouth quickly and he looked at her in disbelief.

"I hope we can still be friends," she added, placing a hand on his forearm and offering him a friendly smile. "Excuse me."

_'Cause I tried my best and it just didn't feel right_ _  
_ _I walked that path, without you there, I'm downright_ _  
_ _Where I belong, looking at the skyline_ _  
_ _Where do I go? What do I know?_

Silene dragged Raquel by the hand to the backyard, where Laura, Ágata and Júlia were waiting for them near the two children's swings that were still there after all those years.

"What are you doing here?" Raquel asked, not understanding why her friends were hiding in the darkness of her backyard.

"Correction: what _we_ are doing here," Silene replied, holding up a joint in her hands. “It’s your candle."

"Are you kidding?" Raquel laughed.

“Hey, man, you only get to 42 once,” Ágata shrugged, encouraging her friend.

Raquel smiled, taking the joint and the lighter from Silene's hand and taking a long drag before letting out the smoke.

"Remember when Mamá found the remains of a joint in her rose garden and we blamed Andrés?" Laura asked, removing the cap from the bottle of tequila she was holding and taking a sip straight from the neck.

"How could I forget? He became a persona non grata for six months,” Raquel laughed.

They smoked the rest of the joint exchanging anecdotes of their youth and laughing at everything they had lived through together. Raquel finally allowed herself to relax, happy and satisfied to be among friends that she was sure they only wanted the best for her. She missed Mónica there with them, but Raquel knew she would be happy to be celebrated with laughter.

"I love you guys," she declared, suddenly, interrupting the story that Ágata was telling. "Sorry, I just wanted to say that."

"Awww, we love you, too, Quel," Laura pulled her younger sister into a tight hug and then gave her a hard nudge on the top of her head with her knuckles, like she used to do when they were kids.

" _Ay, coño,_ let me go," Raquel complained, trying to get away from Laura, and they all laughed.

"As beautiful as it is to see this moment of sorority, I really wanted to know if Lau is going to share this tequila with us," Júlia asked, putting an arm around Ágata's shoulders, who was sitting on one of the swings.

"Right fucking now," Laura exclaimed, reaching for a stack of plastic cups from the back pocket of her jeans.

Together, they toasted their cups and chanted for the first of many rounds: “ _Arriba, abajo, al centro, pa dentro!_ ”

_Show me how to live, show me how to try_ _  
_ _Show me how to give, show me how to die_ _  
_ _In your arms, where I belong_ _  
_ _You're all I want, you're all I want_

Sergio had to assure the Uber driver at least four times that Raquel would not throw up. She laughed by his side, sometimes alone, sometimes at some disjointed bullshit that she uttered.

Halfway to their house, she felt her phone vibrate and opened her purse to see what it was – a message from Suarez. She let out a dry laugh.

"What is it?" He asked, frowning at her.

"Suarez is pissed at me," she revealed, throwing her phone back in her bag without even thinking twice. Sergio felt his blood boil. That was his name, then?

"Why?" That was all he managed to ask, his jaw clenched with rage as he remembered how Suarez was looking at her.

"Because I brushed him off," she laughed, shaking her head slowly. "Men and their fragile egos..."

Sergio felt a smile form in the corner of his mouth and his curiosity spoke louder than it should have. "I thought... I thought you had a good time on your date."

"It was _awful_ ," she declared honestly, her filter nonexistent with how much she had had to drink, and let out a laugh. "I had to ask Ágata to call me so I could have an excuse to get out of there."

He felt quite victorious with the discovery, although that still didn't explain why she had lied to him. He decided that this was a topic that could be very delicate for her current state and simply took a deep breath, shrugging.

"I'm sorry," he said, sincerely, because all he wanted was to see her happy. Even if it wasn't with him, her happiness was the most important thing.

"Don't be sorry," she stammered, turning to look at him. "I couldn't stop thinking about..."

Her eyes drifted to Sergio's lips and he felt his breathing quicken. Suddenly, she turned her face away, thrusting it into the palm of one of her hands as if she were ashamed. She leaned against the seat of the car and felt her body sliding heavily and diagonally, as if she were falling, but his arm quickly supported her.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning against him and resting her head on his shoulder. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment and let out a breath.

As quickly as she closed her eyes, she felt Sergio's fingertips caress her arm to wake her up.

"We're here," he whispered in her ear until she sat up, regaining consciousness. He paid the driver and helped her out of the car, putting an arm around her waist to help her balance herself. Raquel held onto his shoulder, pretending her best that she did not need his help.

He opened the front door and took off his shoes as quickly as he could. He turned to see that Raquel was leaning against the wall, trying to undo the straps of her heels with shaking hands, without success. He suppressed a laugh and crouched in front of her.

"Come here," he put his hand on her ankle and she finally gave up trying. He removed one heel, and then the other, and in the meanwhile she looked at him as if nothing else existed. He stood up, smiling at her tenderly. "You need to lie down."

"I can walk on my own," she assured, but all it took was one step forward for her to destabilize herself and she would have fallen face first if it weren't for his hands on her waist.

"You're clearly drunk," he laughed as he helped her up the stairs.

"I'm not drunk," Raquel denied, her voice breaking. “I'm _drigh_. It's different."

The two laughed at her joke while entering her room and now at least she seemed to be able to walk without posing any risk to her physical integrity. While Raquel brushed her teeth, Sergio made her bed and looked for one of the large shirts that she always insisted on wearing as pajamas.

He arrived at the bathroom door just as she was drying her mouth with the towel, offering her a change of clothes with a sympathetic look. Raquel took a deep breath when he returned to the room, leaving her alone to change.

She found him pacing back and forth near the foot of her bed, which already had the sheets pulled open to receive her. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, sitting on the bed and covering her legs. He walked up to her, taking a glass of water from her nightstand and offering it to her.

"Drink all of it, okay?" He said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She followed his recommendation and put the empty glass back on the nightstand, turning again to face him. "Thank you for taking care of me."

Raquel looked at him with furrowed brows, as if she were trying to make sense of something. She adjusted herself on the bed, approaching him, and Sergio felt his whole body stiffen with how close she was.

She observed each line on his face closely, as if he was a poem that she had memorized so many years ago, but that now she feared she had forgotten a verse. She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers, shaking her head slightly. Her gaze alternated between the brown eyes behind those glasses and the lips framed by his thick, dark beard.

"You know, sometimes I think there is no one in the world for me but you," she confessed, her voice low and shaky. And before he could even think of anything, she pressed her lips to his and kissed him.

_What does it mean?_ _  
_ _What does it mean?_ _  
_ _I need to see now_ _  
_ _I need to feel now_ _  
_ _  
_ _Need you to speak now_   
_In your arms where I belong_ _  
You're all I want, you're all I want_


	10. Only Trying to Tell You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sweeties ❤️
> 
> We're officially in the half of the story – counting the four extra chapters! I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story and I'm loving to hear all of your thoughts, first time readers and re-readers alike 🥰
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Only Trying 2 Tell U, by Puma Blue you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Hands are shaking_ _  
_ _Don’t know why you won’t let me_ _  
_ _Come a little closer to you_ _  
_ _I’m terrified of the lies_ _  
_ _I’ve let swim into my head_ _  
_ _Sometimes at night I talk to you_ _  
_ _Even though you’re not there_

Sergio couldn't believe this was happening.

After twenty years – _twenty years_ – her lips were against his once again and it was all he could remember _and more_ because it was not just a memory, it was _real_.

He tried to react while her hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, but all he managed to do was open his mouth and bring a hand to the nape of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. Her tongue slid over his and her hands spread across his body quickly – and that's when he realized that she was _hurried_ , and it caused a red light to flash in his brain. Against his will, he pulled away, his hand still attached to the back of her neck.

"Raquel..." His voice dragged out of his throat as he rested his forehead against hers. He could still feel his mouth burning hot and, despite the considerable degrees of his glasses, his vision was so blurred that he could not see anything in front of him. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath. 

She pulled her face away from him and he opened his eyes to see her confused expression, her swollen lips parted and her eyes faltering and stunned.

"You..." She whispered, swallowing hard. Her voice seemed to be about to break and he felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. "You don't want this...?"

"I-I do," he stammered, letting out a dry, incredulous laugh – how could she believe that there would be any reality in which he didn't want _her?_ – and she tilted her head, not quite understanding him. "I do want this. _A lot_ ,” he took his free hand to caress her cheek and she leaned against his touch unconsciously. “But not like this. Not with you drunk.”

"Oh," she stammered. She took a deep breath and, even drunk, she was sure that she had done it at the worst possible time and in the worst possible way. He was absolutely right. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He deserved more than that. They both deserved it.

"We can talk tomorrow," he offered, slowly moving away from her and getting up from the bed. "You need to sleep."

"Sergio..." She took his hand in hers before he could even take a second step. Her eyes sought his as soon as he turned his head towards her again. "Will you stay here with me?"

It was her turn to feel as if a knot was tied in her chest. He exhaled, searching every corner of the room for an answer that wasn't "yes", but she seemed to read his thoughts and gave his hand a gentle squeeze, inviting his gaze back to hers.

"Just to sleep, _I swear_ ," she smiled slightly, arching her eyebrows in one last attempt. He nodded. 

"Okay."

She smiled broadly, showing her teeth and biting her bottom lip excitedly. 

"Can I brush my teeth first?" He asked, adjusting his glasses.

She nodded, letting go of his hand, and he went to the bathroom down the hall. Within a few minutes, he was back, wearing his pajama pants and a white shirt.

"Come here," she smiled, pulling the covers off the other side of the bed and making room for him. Sergio went to bed, nervous, feeling his feet and hands cold.

She turned to press the light switch on her side of the bed, and when she turned back to him, she found him already covered with the sheets and his head resting on the pillow, reaching out to put his glasses on the headboard next to him.

She sighed. He was still far, _too far_.

Slowly, Raquel slid under the sheets to get closer to him, lying on her side while he tried to remain motionless on his back, arms tight at his sides. She suppressed a mocking smile, even though she knew he wouldn't see her in the dark, but that didn't stop him from turning his face in her direction.

"Can I do this?" She asked, her voice low and still, as she pulled up his right arm and snuggled on the side of his body, hugging his waist and resting her face on his chest. He looked back at the ceiling and she studied his profile in the dark, looking for any protest from him when he seemed to hold his breath.

"Yeah," Sergio finally let the word out as if it had come out of his lungs, bringing his right arm around her hips. She moved her head slightly, feeling the fabric of his shirt caressing her face, breathing in his sweet, ambery scent.

"You still smell the same," she acknowledged aloud, allowing that familiar fragrance to invade her lungs again. 

He laughed at her realization. "I still use the same perfume."

"You know what I mean," she smiled, poking his rib with her index finger.

Sergio smiled and took his hand to her hair, caressing it slowly, the tips of his fingers massaging its roots each time it passed through a new lock. Raquel closed her eyes, absolutely surrendered – if there was a world outside of that bedroom, she wouldn't be able to tell.

He, on the other hand, kept his eyes open. He wasn't drunk enough to fall asleep so fast, not being so close to her, with her in his arms for the first time after so long. However, he was also not sober enough to forget that a week ago she was on a date with another man – and that this same man was on her birthday party talking to her very comfortably just a few hours prior to this.

He pondered several times in just a few seconds whether or not his mouth should part open. The alcohol won and he heard himself whispering her name. 

"Raquel…"

"Hmm?" She murmured, without even opening her eyes. 

"Did something happen... between you and this Suarez?"

For a moment, she was silent and his heart froze. Until he heard her sleepy voice ask, "Who's Suarez?"

He smiled, relieved. "Nothing," replied. "Never mind."

She blew out a long breath before stretching, still with her eyes closed, and leaving a kiss on the curve of his neck. He felt goosebumps down his body from head to toe, and Raquel snuggled comfortably right there, her warm breath just below his ear.

Within a few minutes, she was already sound asleep, but Sergio was still awake for a long time, afraid that whenever he closed his eyes she might slip away and he would discover that it was all a dream.

He began to caress her back gently until, even against his will, his eyelids closed and the last thing he remembered before going to sleep was hearing the sound of their perfectly synchronized breaths.  
  


_So I whisper to the ground_ _  
_ _I’m only trying to tell you_ _  
_ _Something, baby_ _  
_ _So I whisper to the ground_ _  
_ _I’m only trying to tell you_ _  
_ _Something_ _  
  
_

Raquel grunted as she felt her body awaken before she wanted to. She put an arm over her face in an effort to cover her eyes, but it was too late. She was already awake.

She was concentrating on her inhalation and exhalation when she suddenly remembered. _Sergio_ . She opened her eyes in fright and looked at both sides of the mattress, but she was alone. Her head hurt, some memories were a little blurred, but she was sure she had slept snuggling him. Holy shit, she was sure she had _kissed_ him just before that too.

With difficulty, she got up from the bed and headed straight for the shower. She took all the time in the world, washing her hair deeply and rehearsing in her head the conversation she needed to have with him.

How difficult could it be? It was _Sergio_ , after all.

She brushed her teeth, combed her wet hair while still in the bathroom, and went into the bedroom to put on a loose mustard dress. With every step she took, every move she made, all she could think about was him. She walked down the hall slowly, sticking her head inside his room to see if she could find him there, but it was completely empty. His bed was perfectly made. All his objects organized to the millimeter.

She went downstairs and found him sitting on the couch, reading a book. He looked up as soon as he noticed the movement. He was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt and sand-colored linen pants – and how the hell did he look so handsome in those clothes?

"Good morning," he said, placing a marker between the pages of the book and allowing it to close as Raquel approached.

"Good morning," she replied, throwing herself on the couch next to him and leaning her head on the back of the furniture.

Sergio smiled slightly, adjusting his glasses on his face. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Just a little nauseated," she shrugged, straightening her neck and bending her legs to sit on her heels.

“Do you want some tea? An aspirin?” Raquel smiled. Always helpful.

"If you have a brand new liver, I'll take it," she joked. "This one already gave all it had to give."

He laughed, shaking his head. Then he looked at her, his lips parted, his expression wavering, as if he were afraid to step on a delicate line.

"Raquel..." He paused, unsure how to continue. "I don't know what you remember from yesterday, but..."

"I don't remember how we got home," she interrupted, frowning. Sergio swallowed.

"An Uber," he replied. "We left your car there." 

“Ah. Smart of us,” she smiled, biting her bottom lip.

"That's all?" He was nervous, _obviously nervous_ , and the way Raquel looked at him didn't help his nerves at all.

"Yes," she nodded and, after a pause, tilted her head a little. "I remember the rest," she said, hoping it would reassure him a little.

He felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off his back. His shoulders relaxed a little and he released the air he didn't even know he was holding.

"Thanks for staying with me," she said, reaching out to touch his arm. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"No... you didn't," he replied, his gaze alternating between her face and her fingers that now caressed his arm. Until she stopped and retracted her touch.

She took a deep breath and looked up to look at him – she didn't want to invade his space, not again. This time, she wanted to do it _right_.

"Sergio, about what I told you last night..." She paused, thinking about how to continue. Nothing she had rehearsed in the shower came to her head now. Not a fucking word.

"It's okay," he replied, trying to relieve her from turning him down. "You were pretty drunk."

"No," she shook her head, but then quickly nodded. "I mean, _yes_. I _was_ pretty drunk,” she gave a light chuckle, but soon her expression became serious. Determined. "But I meant what I said."

He looked at her, unsure of how to react. "Do you want some time–"

Before he could complete his sentence, Raquel closed the distance between the two of them by pressing her lips against his. This time, she enjoyed every second of it. She let her hand find the strands of his black hair, and gave him a light, delicate, slow kiss.

She moved her lips away by millimeters and opened her eyes to find his.

“No. We've had enough time,” she gave him another slow kiss. "We already wasted a lot of that, don't you think?” 

She pressed her lips against his again.

"Yes," he replied, his voice breaking. "Yes, we did."

She kissed him again and felt his hand on the nape of her neck, under her still damp hair, pulling her face towards him, making the kiss longer and even more passionate. She slid her tongue across his lips and he instantly opened his mouth, granting her passage. The kiss deepened and Raquel threw one leg over him, sitting on his lap, pushing her body against his. One hand stroked his hair while the other roamed over his shoulder, his arm, his back, pulled the collar of his shirt.

He spread a hand on her lower back, pulling her even closer, wishing it were possible to fuse their bodies into one. Raquel moaned when he bit her lower lip and internally cursed herself for spending so long without that feeling. Without that kiss. Without _him_.

Sergio smiled against her lips and she ended up mirroring the smile herself. She held his head with both hands and moved away just enough to catch her breath and offer him a look that overflowed everything she couldn't say at that moment, everything that had been caught in her throat for so many years, everything that hadn't been possible to transpose into words.

He understood, she _knew_ he understood, because she saw the same glow reflected in his eyes. Raquel felt tears flood her eyes and didn't know if she was crying with happiness or longing or love or if she would be able to separate all those feelings. Sergio brought a hand to her face, caressing it lightly with his thumb, framing her cheekbone with the palm of his hand.

She let her forehead rest against his and took a deep breath. Then she tugged at his hair, pulling his head back slightly and turning her head at the perfect angle to bring her lips against his again and give him a warm, lingering kiss, and then bring her mouth to his neck for a light nibble. He let out a low growl and she smiled before kissing him again. The fit of their mouths was as perfect as it ever was – like going back in time. Like going home.

Sergio took a hand to her thigh and slid it under the fabric of the dress, caressing her skin until it reached her ass. He pressed his fingers there, pressing their hips against each other and as soon as Raquel felt his erection pulse against her, she couldn't help a moan and–

 _Ding-dong_.

They both froze for a second, as if they were not sure if they had really heard that noise. They pulled their faces away, looking at each other with a confused expression.

Sergio closed his eyes and let out a sigh. "Cinci."

Raquel tilted her head back, letting out a frustrated laugh. Then she looked at him again, fixing up his messy hair and his glasses with a smile still on her face.

 _Ding-dong_ , rang the bell again.

"We'll continue this conversation later, hm?" She kissed him slowly, her fingers stroking his beard. Sergio nodded in silence, taking a deep breath as she rose from his lap to open the door.

_Eyes are tearing up,_ _  
_ _I don’t know why I’m so scared_ _  
_ _Something about your beauty terrifies me_ _  
_ _Now I’m trembling in this empty bed_ _  
_ _Trying to realize that all of you is gone now_

When Cinci arrived, the first thing he asked for was if they could make pancakes like the other day and then the three of them went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Sergio and Raquel moved around the kitchen in a synchronized rhythm, touching each other lightly and discreetly whenever possible. A hand on each other's waist, pulling away from a lock of hair from each other's face.

Nothing that could get much attention from their godson, but all the little gestures that they couldn't bear to hold inside anymore. Raquel was doing the dishes at one point when she felt him approach from behind, leaning his body against hers and placing a kiss on the exposed curve of her neck.

She felt her shoulder twist involuntary and laughed along with him. It was _ridiculous_.

Since that morning, they couldn't stop smiling. Raquel felt her cheeks hurt and Sergio knew his would probably be frozen in that position by the end of the day. They seemed bewitched, as if they were compelled to smile all the time. Just then, they were walking around the market and they were sure they would look like two silly teenagers looking at each other if Raquel wasn't holding Cinci's hand as they strolled down the halls.

They were in the canning section looking for the brand of Italian peeled tomatoes that Sergio liked so much when Cinci pulled the hem of his godmother's dress.

"Nina, what if we buy some ice cream?" He asked, his eyes widening dramatically as if he had a very bold and original idea.

"Hummmm," Raquel made a face as if she was thinking about it _really_ hard and glanced at Sergio, running her fingers lightly over his forearm. "What do you think, Sergio?"

"Please," Cinci pleaded, making the pitiful expression that adults were already getting used to.

Sergio smiled. "I think an ice cream would go well today, don't you think so, Cinci?" 

"Yeeeesssss," the little one celebrated. "But I want chocolate, okay?"

"Okay, chief, chocolate for you and salted caramel for us," Raquel declared, looking for Sergio's eyes to confirm the flavor and receiving a smile and a nod in response. She looked back at her godson again. "Shall we go get it?"

"Yes!" He said, raising his arms above his head. “Nina, I'm tired. Will you carry me?”

"But of course, how could we let you get tired like this?" She replied, bending down to pick him up. "I think we have been playing too many monster-hero fights with you..."

Sergio smiled at their interaction and started pushing the shopping cart. "I'm going to the pasta aisle, okay?"

"Okay," Raquel replied, turning to the opposite side. "We'll find you."

Sergio made his way to the section he was looking for and picked up some packages of fusilli, Raquel's favorite since she was a kid and with which he ended up getting so used to that he still chose it every time he bought pasta. He thought about how, even though she was absent from his life physically, Raquel was always present in his day-to-day life, in all of the small and big things. Even though he was unaware of it, she was there.

He was lost in thought, probably with a silly smile on his face, when he saw a familiar red hair in a ponytail. He would recognize that hair anywhere. He started to turn the shopping cart around in the opposite direction, it was only a matter of seconds before she–

"Sergio?"

That was it. It was too late. He looked at her, watching her walk towards him as he tightened his grip on the cart's handle.

"Alicia," he forced a smile and thanked the skies that she didn't try to hug him when he came closer. 

"Long time no see. How are you?" She asked, seeming to study him curiously.

Sergio shook his head. "Good. How about you?"

"Well, I'm good too," she nodded and it was then that he realized that a blond man was approaching them with a bag of spaghetti in his hands. Alicia alternated her gaze between the two. "Er... You remember Germán..."

"Hello," Sergio greeted him with a nod. He couldn't be more uncomfortable than he was at that very moment.

Germán tried to offer him a polite smile. "Hello, how are you?"

Sergio nodded and a silence befell the three of them. It was when he saw Alicia open his mouth again, with a question in his eyes, that he managed to get ahead. 

"I didn't know you were back in Madrid."

“I'm not. We are still living in Andalusia,” the redhead explained. "We came to visit some friends."

Sergio was thinking that he would give almost anything to be taken out of there at that moment, but he did not count on his wish to materialize in the worst possible way.

"Nino, look, we got two big ones!" Cinci came running beside him, trying to hold two pots of ice cream bigger than his arms 

"Wow!" Sergio exclaimed, promptly bending down to take them from his hands.

“Cinci! I can't believe you won!” Raquel came running right afterwards before noticing the couple who was standing in front of Sergio. She straightened up and smiled at both of them. "Hi, how are you?"

“Raquel, these are Alicia and Germán,” Sergio introduced them, pointing to Cinci, who was now timidly hidden between his godparents' legs. "And this is Cinci."

"Ah," Alicia bent her head, smiling broadly and looking at Sergio suspiciously before turning her attention back to the blonde. "Raquel, I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" She laughed, looking at Sergio and immediately realizing that he was completely uncomfortable. Quickly, she wrapped her right arm around Sergio's left one and smiled at the redhead. "Well, I would love to know exactly what he said, but we have to go, right, _mi amor_?"

Sergio immediately turned his head to Raquel, frowning. She stepped forward, stroking his shoulder with her left hand and shooting him a meaningful look. _I'll get you out of here, play along_ , she tried to signal.

“Oh. Right,” he agreed, understanding her message.

"Sorry, we already paid for the parking spot, you know?" Raquel shrugged, looking at the couple. "It was a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise," Alicia replied, waving a hand at them.

When Alicia and Germán turned around, Raquel moved away from Sergio to pick up Cinci from the floor and put him in the supermarket cart seat before he started running through the aisles again as he did on the way to the ice cream section.

She was ready to make a teasing comment about Alicia to Sergio when she realized that he still had a serious and thoughtful expression on his face.

"Sergio, are you all right?" Raquel asked, placing a hand over his on the cart handle.

"Hmm?" He looked at her, surprised by the question. "Yes. Of course,” he adjusted his glasses on his face, breaking the physical contact she had initiated. "Everything's fine."

Raquel nodded, but the feeling was that she had been punched in the stomach. What did those last twelve hours mean if Sergio got so worked up after meeting his ex-girlfriend, with whom he had broken up at least three years ago?

A series of thoughts crossed her mind, but none of them were good.

They walked to the supermarket line in silence and, apart from their interactions with Cinci, the lack of communication prevailed. After the store, Sergio drove to Mariví's house, as Raquel needed to recover her car to go to work the next day. The mood during the ride, however, was not as light and fun as it was when they were going to the store earlier.

Sergio was concentrated on the traffic, still with a thoughtful expression, and Raquel avoided looking at him, observing the path they took through the passenger window. In the back seat, Cinci was distracted by a Dora, The Adventurer game on his tablet, repeating words in English whenever she asked him to.

A lively music played softly on the radio when Sergio stopped the car outside the Murillo family home.

"Do you want me to wait?" He asked, finally turning in her direction while Raquel took off her seat belt.

"No, I'm going to stay for a little bit," she replied. "Thank you," she took her bag and turned to say goodbye to her godson. "Bye, Cinci, I'll be home soon, okay?"

"Bye, nina," the boy replied, blowing a kiss in her direction without exactly looking up from the screen.

She had already opened the car door and put one leg out when she heard her name roll out of his mouth. 

"Raquel..." Sergio licked his lips when she looked at him. "We'll talk when you get home?"

Raquel nodded and saw him smile, sweetly and sheepishly, but she was unable to smile back genuinely.

She got out of the car and headed for the front door of her childhood home, she wondered what the hell had happened. 

As quickly as it was present, the spell seemed to have broken.

_So I whisper to the dark_ _  
_ _I’m only trying to tell you_ _  
_ _Something, baby_  
_I’m only trying to tell you_ _  
Something_


	11. Nobody (But You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies!
> 
> Here we go, the long awaited conversation these two needed to have ❤️
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Tethered, by Rationale you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_You should know better, staying together_ _  
_ _Praying our bridges don't make way_ _  
_ _Darling, I'm tethered when with you_ _  
_ _How do I measure crumbling pressure?_

 _The blood is rocketing my veins_ _  
_ _Don't count when I'm with you_

 _You've got liquid gold_ _  
_ _Round and round in my mind_ _  
_ _There's a truth I can't ignore_ _  
_ _I spent so many years_ _  
_ _Wandering from myself_ _  
_ _Until you came along_

At least Raquel was feeling calmer after spending the last hour with Mariví and Laura. She was grateful for every single time she saw her mother and realized that the disease had not yet advanced enough to affect her recent memory, but this time she had to hold back a groan when she asked about Sergio. Today, just today, she wanted Mariví to have repeated stories of her childhood for the umpteenth time.

She ended up telling her mother and sister that she and Sergio had kissed – and was deeply frustrated when all she heard back were respective mutters “finally” and “at last” – and also told about the meeting with Alicia and Germán at the store. She needed to say what happened out loud in order not to feel crazy, but neither of them seemed concerned about the insecurities she had laid on the table. On the contrary, they just assured her that it was a misunderstanding and that they just needed to talk. She hoped they were right, but her head kept spinning with all the possibilities.

At least Laura seemed to realize this and changed the subject, recounting about how she caught Andrés and Martín in a _very intimate_ conversation in the kitchen during Raquel's party and how she had always suspected Andrés was also interested in men because he kept talking about ménage à trois during the brief time – or _collective hallucination_ , as she called it – in which they dated. This helped to ease Raquel's concerns to some degree, but it put a much more uncomfortable image in her mind: Andrés, Laura and Martín having sex.

When Raquel started her journey back, it was a little after seven. Sunday traffic was quiet and within twenty minutes she was already parking at her home. She smiled when it dawned on her that this time she didn't even hesitate to think about it - her _home_. Yes, this was where she wanted to come to after a long day at work, where all her books were, where she felt relaxed, where she felt safe and, _yes_ , where Cinci and Sergio were.

Raquel was already thinking about them when she opened the door and found them in the living room, facing the television. Sergio was sitting on the couch, with a pillow in his lap, while Cinci was lying on the carpet on the floor with several pillows around him.

"Nina!" The boy exclaimed when he heard the door's noise. “We're watching Henry Danger! Come over!"

"Hi, mi amor," Raquel greeted, taking off her shoes and rushing towards him. "I'm here!" She kissed her godson's forehead and sat on the couch, preserving a safe space between her and Sergio. She gave him a curious look. "Did you guys have dinner?"

"We had soup," Sergio replied, looking at her from the corner of his eye. "I left it on the stove, if you want some."

"Mamá made tortilla," she explained. "I ended up eating with her."

He paused, unsure of how to behave after the day's comings and goings. "How is she? Feeling well?"

“Yes, she sent you a kiss. Lau too,” she replied, putting her legs up on the couch.

"Can you guys stop talking, please?" Cinci asked, looking at them over his shoulder with a pout before turning his attention back to the television.

The adults raised their hands at the same time, recognizing the serious mistake of speaking over the tv show and trying to keep from laughing. They looked at each other quickly before the smile faded from Raquel's face and she hid her gaze from him by facing the screen in front of her.

He continued to watch her from the corner of his eye, painfully aware that she could also see him looking at her. He thought about how that morning, for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, she had made it clear to him that _she_ wanted _him_. And how, against his will, he found himself withdrawing as soon as the words " _mi amor_ " left her mouth. He knew that Raquel was trying to get him out of that situation with Alicia without being impolite, that she was trying to make Alicia understand that Sergio was not alone. But hearing her call him _like that_ brought up a fear in Sergio's chest that he wasn't sure how to explain to her.

So, in that moment, he tried to stick to the facts. Fact number one: they couldn't talk then, not with Cinci sitting right there. Fact number two: Raquel wanted _him_. This much she had already made clear as a crystal. Fact number three: he had been an _idiot_ earlier. And fact number four: there they were, _again_ , wasting precious time that they would not be able to recover. It was then that he made a decision.

Sergio took a deep breath and, hesitantly, his hand reached for hers on the couch. She turned her head to look at him, a little bit surprised. She recognized that expression, the drooping eyebrows, the repentant eyes, the parted lips. She wanted to be upset with him, but the reality is that she wasn't. Far from it. She was just confused.

However, it was as if all of her fears cleared from her mind the instant she felt his thumb caress the back of her fingers and the back of her hand. Raquel took a deep breath, resigned, turning her palm up to intertwine her fingers with his. She shook her head in a negative sign and rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth were curved in a slight smile. All those years of training in silent conversations became present. Even without speaking, there it was – the prelude to their conversation. It was settled: any time they had was too valuable to be wasted.

She adjusted herself on the couch, approaching him and resting her head on his shoulder, placing their clasped hands in her lap. Sergio caressed her bare thigh with his fingertips and Raquel nestled even more against him.

And within an episode and a half of Henry Danger, Cinci fell asleep on the living room rug. It was Raquel who noticed it first, due to the immobility of his little feet that kept moving up and down during all the time he was awake. She nudged Sergio in the rib, nodding to their godson.

"I'm going to take him upstairs," he announced, standing up from the couch only to crouch beside the little one and pick him up.

Raquel watched as they disappeared up the stairs and took the time to let out the air she didn't even know she was holding. She took the remote control and turned off the television, going straight to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine that was already open in the refrigerator. She took two glasses, the bottle and went back to the couch. She felt stupid for being nervous and decided to start drinking to keep away all the questions of her mind. She was already on the third sip of her wine when Sergio came down the stairs.

He stopped at the foot of the stairs and smiled before approaching, taken back simply by seeing her there _waiting_ for _him_ , and when he got to the coffee table, he took his glass of wine and served himself.

"I don't know why I thought we would just press play and start where we left off," Raquel admitted with a nervous laugh.

Sergio sat on the couch with his body facing her. 

"Yeah... It would be easier," he adjusted his glasses, taking a sip of his wine shortly thereafter.

"It would be," she agreed. "But it wouldn't be very... _us_."

"No, it wouldn't," he nodded, watching her closely. After a pause, he seemed to take courage. "Can I ask you a question?"

Raquel raised her eyebrows before silently nodding.

"What happened between you and Alberto?" He frowned slightly as he noticed that her posture had changed to a more defensive one, albeit unconsciously.

“Oh, Sergio. So much…” She shook her head and bit her lip, trying to find a way to start explaining everything. “He was my first serious relationship after you. More than ten years later,” she shot him a knowing look, knowing, from what Món had told her, that he would understand.

"Too serious," she let out a hoarse laugh, matching the cold stare she cast on the rug. “We hadn't even been together for a year when he told me his visa was going to expire. He couldn't go back to Venezuela for political reasons and..." She sighed, regretful. "We got married so he could stay here, so he could get a job, so he could structure his life. You know?"

Sergio listened to her attentively, staring at her even when her gaze fled from his and dropped to the floor.

"The truth is, I was an idiot," she rolled her eyes. “My intuition told me that I shouldn't trust him, but every time I heard that voice in the back of my consciousness, I just thought it was more self- sabotage. And that I wasn't allowing myself to be happy after we broke up.”

She stared at him for a brief moment, before sighing and hiding behind her glass, taking a sip of the wine to calm her nerves.

"He had no way of renting an apartment, so he alternated between staying at my place and at Ángel's, our friend," she continued. “But he practically lived there without paying me a dime. He used my credit card because he had no way of making his own. He never helped at home, he was _unbearable_ whenever he drank. It was always what _he_ wanted, when _he_ wanted it. And then…” She let out an incredulous laugh. "Then he started to cheat on me."

She rolled her eyes, as if she was impatient with her own younger self.

"And every time I suspected something or caught him - which happened, believe me if you can, more than once - he just made me believe it was my fault," she continued. "The worst part is that he did such a competent job and I felt so crazy and isolated that it took me more than a year to be able to talk about it with Món."

She paused, giving a light chuckle when she remembered her friends.

"Can you believe that she and Ágata flew to San Sebastián the same week I told them?" She smiled fondly and shook her head. “They stayed with me for a whole week. We broke up with Alberto practically as a trio – you should have seen his face when Ágata threatened to hit him with a bottle.”

She gave a dry laugh when she remembered the scene and Sergio waited patiently for her to finish talking. He was angry at a man he didn't even know. He knew, from the way his friends talked about him, that things didn't go well between them, but knowing that someone was with Raquel and was able to hurt her, to use her, to make her feel like she deserved everything that happened to her? It was absurd and he had to clench his fist to contain the anger that was spreading throughout his body.

"It took a few months to get the divorce finalized," she shrugged. “I quit my job and returned to Madrid as soon as I could. In fact, shortly after you had left for Andalusia.”

Sergio hid his gaze at the bottom of his glass for a moment. If he had known half of that story, he would never have gone to Andalusia in the first place. He would have boarded that plane with Mónica and Ágata to find her immediately.

Then he remembered the redhead with whom he ended up on a plane around that same time and blew out a breath.

"You know, it's funny, I'm sure that in another universe you and Alicia would be friends." Raquel felt her heart falter for an instant when she heard him say her name like that, so casually.

Suddenly, it didn't look like he was so taken back as he was in the market when they saw her. She looked at him and waited patiently for him to start talking.

“I met her because of Andrés,” Sergio explained. "She moved to Andalusia because she was called to work at the Lara Museum."

Her reaction was exactly what he expected. She almost choked on the wine, laughing in disbelief and widening her eyes. 

"The one with the witchcraft collection?" 

"That's the one," he laughed.

"Okay," she shook her head, recognizing that maybe they had some things in common, other than an ex-boyfriend. "And why did she hear about me so much?"

Sergio looked at her with a frown, as if the answer was the most obvious in the world. 

"Do you have to ask?"

Raquel bit her lip, contemplating the plethora of things he could have told Alicia about her. Then, she felt her earlier fear flooding her all over again.

"Do you..." She paused, taking a deep breath. "Do you still feel anything for her?" 

Sergio tilted his head, confused. " _Qué?_ "

She shrugged. "It's just that everything got weird after we ran into her and–" 

"Raquel–" He interrupted her quickly. "No… I..."

He took a deep breath and it was only then that he could see that she misunderstood _everything_. He quickly reached out and held her hand.

"I'm so sorry. It wasn't about Alicia. It's just…” He stopped for a moment.

He shook his hand gently, trying to organize his own thoughts, but she already felt the muscles on her shoulders relax upon the relief.

“Um, after you, Alicia was the only woman I actually had a relationship with,” he said, careful not to equate his situation with her and Alberto's – something that did not go unnoticed by her and for which she felt immensely grateful.

"When you left," he paused, holding her hand closer to him. “A part of me left with you. And as much as I tried, I never managed to recover that part. No one ever managed to make me feel _a quarter_ of what you did. And it was unfair to compare them all to you.”

Raquel felt her heart tighten inside her chest. She couldn't explain that feeling in any word other than regret, but she remained silent, giving his hand, clasped with hers, a soft squeeze.

Sergio smiled slightly at her, shrugging as if he could hear her thoughts. He stretched his arm to rest the wine glass on the coffee table and Raquel did the same, using the hand that was now free to put a lock of her hair behind her ear.

“I tried with Alicia. I really did,” he explained. "But it didn't work. She said that most of the time, I didn't seem to be there. And it was true. Then she got involved with Germán, while we were still together. Not that I blame her for that, but... You left. Alicia left. And today, when I saw her, I just kept thinking that…”

He blew out a heavy breath, shaking his head and placing their clasped hands against his rapidly beating chest.

"If you..." He said, almost stuttering the words, and paused for a moment to compose himself. "If it is possible for you to change your mind about this, about _us_ , if you leave– I don't know if I can– Raquel, I can't– Not again..."

It was then that she understood. She understood _everything_.

Her eyes filled with tears, but she fought them desperately.

She moved closer to him, unclasping their hands to hold his face between her palms. 

"Sergio... look at me," she said, in a pleading tone. “I cannot change my mind. It is literally _impossible_ for me to change my mind, because you are _still_ the only fucking thing I'm sure of in my life.”

He looked into her brown eyes, swallowing all his doubts.

"Sorry if I can't quite put it into words while I'm sober," she said, smiling, and he mirrored her smile quickly. "It's just that it's still so _surreal..._ that after all this time... I still feel the same way about you."

Raquel let her hands fall down from his cheeks, one stroking his beard and the other playing with the collar of his blouse, making small patterns on his skin with the tip of her index finger.

He licked his lips and looked her in the eye with newfound confidence, sprawling one of his hands on her lower back, pulling her even closer.

"How's that?" His voice came out hoarser than he intended, but she didn't seem to care. 

In love, Sergio," she replied, shaking her head with a huge grin on her face. "Deeply in love."

He laughed. "Me too."

"You too _what?_ " It was her turn to tilt her head, raising her eyebrows to provoke him.

Sergio rolled his eyes before looking into hers, smiling. "I still remain deeply in love with you." 

"You do?" She brought her lips close to his, her eyes half closed.

"Yeah," he practically sighed, his lips brushing hers.

"Show me then," she teased him, giving him a slow kiss and, before she could pull away completely, he brought his free hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her back and deepening the kiss into a hot, lingering one.

Their tongues danced to a specific rhythm, a melody that only they knew. His lips fit so perfectly against hers and the feeling was so familiar, so unique, so much so that Raquel didn't even notice when she moaned into his mouth. But he seemed to have taken notice and pulled her by the waist further against him, and soon she was once again in the position she was that morning, sitting on his lap, straddling him, her hands stroking his hair and his upper back.

This time he made sure he would enjoy the position without interruption. Sergio slid his hand under her dress as she ran her nails over his shirt. She felt her back arch slightly as his hand spread against her hip and he parted from her mouth only to guide it towards her neck, where he began to brush his lips and softly graze his teeth at the exposed skin.

Raquel gasped and closed her eyes, feeling his hands slide over her ribs, pulling her even closer, and she tilted her head back, completely surrendered, while he ran his lips up until he placed a kiss just below her ear and sucked her earlobe. She held him even closer and remembered that he knew _exactly_ what he was doing.

She finally regained some control of the situation, pulling his hair back slightly and pressing her mouth against his to give him a languid kiss. When they finally pulled away to catch their breaths, she kept her fingers tucked into his dark hair, gently pulling his lower lip between her teeth.

She released him, smiling mischievously as she bit her own lip.

"Bed?" She whispered, her eyes wandering over his face with an extremely seductive expression.

He simply nodded, entranced, and before she could even think of making any move, he got up from the couch with her on his lap, his arms tightly holding her while she laughed a little louder than she should have and hugged his waist with her legs. Sergio felt that his smile went from one ear to the other - that was it, that was what he missed every day of his life – _her_. In his arms.

Laughing. Looking at him like _that_.

He was so mesmerized by her that he almost stumbled while going up the stairs and, if it wasn't for Raquel's feline reflex, who quickly put her feet on the floor and supported him with her palms sprawled on his chest, he would have fallen over her right there, in the middle of the steps. He only managed to let out a soft chuckle and she followed suit with a laughter, leaning her forehead against his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Shhh," he hissed, bringing his index finger to his lips and making her look at him.

She pressed her lips into a thin line, controlling herself, and nodded. Then she went up, pulling him by the hand and leading him to her room at the end of the hall. She locked the door behind him and switched on a side lamp, which left them in a dimmed light, and pushed him against the closed door immediately afterwards, pressing her lips against his.

The wine was nothing close to the inebriating effect that her kiss had on Sergio and she seemed to have a full sense of it. He pulled away just long enough to take off the shirt he was wearing over his head, tossing it somewhere on the floor, before kissing him again.

His hands roamed over her body, over the fabric of her dress, until finding their way under it, gently pressing his fingers against her skin - she couldn't rationally explain anything he was doing, because he seemed to touch every inch of her skin, turning it inside out to impregnate it through all of her pores.

He picked her up again, carrying her to the bed with her legs around his waist, and when he laid her on the mattress and placed his body over hers, his erection pressing against the fabric of her panties, Raquel groaned. She took the glasses off his face and threw them in a corner of the mattress, completely forgotten by both of them in a matter of seconds.

Sergio took the opportunity to interrupt the kiss at that moment, gluing his lips to her neck while holding the hem of her fabric and pulling it up slowly. He settled himself on the bed to kiss her thighs, then her belly. Finally, he took off her dress and dropped it at the foot of the bed, brushing his lips against her stomach then up, kissing the two birthmarks on her right breast, kissing all the way up her neck until he kissed her mouth again.

Raquel felt her whole body boiling, as if she could come undone at any moment, and even unconsciously she reached for the button and the zipper of his pants, opening them quickly. He helped her, sliding the pants down his legs to the floor and, taking advantage of the position to separate her legs and position himself in the middle.

He grazed his beard on the inside of her thigh and the combination of both the prickly sensation of his beard and his warm breath on her skin already made Raquel let out a small gasp. She grabbed the sheet with one hand and felt Sergio's fingers curl up on the sides of her panties, pulling it down slowly.

He got rid of the fabric, tossing it on top of his pants somewhere on the floor, and turned his attention to the inside of her legs, leaving small bites and kisses on her exposed skin.

Unconsciously, one of his hands reached for Raquel's and intertwined his fingers with hers, and when he finally slid his tongue through her core, she squeezed his hand, feeling her spine arch with the sensation. It didn't take him long to concentrate exactly where she needed, sucking and running his tongue over her clit.

She moaned, her eyes closed, moving her hips under his lips. She felt her eyes roll to the back of her head, her breathing heavy, and all she could think about was the fact that he still knew precisely how to drive her crazy.

Sergio couldn't help a smile as he inserted a finger and curved it upwards, pressing against a precise point that he _knew_ made her shiver. When he noticed the effects on her body, he inserted another finger and placed his lips around her throbbing center in a rhythm so unique she couldn't even begin to describe – slow and agitated, delicate and intense, pulsating his fingers there as if she were an instrument that he had spent years practicing and had never forgotten how to play.

Raquel felt her breath hitch, her legs trembling as a rising wave washed over her, making her skin burn from the inside as if she had caught a fever.

" _Joder, Sergio_ " was the last thing she remembered muttering before coming in his mouth, moaning hoarsely. He stayed there, at a slower, more controlled pace, waiting for her to recover in her own time.

When she finally managed to steady her breathing, she gave his hair a light tug with her free hand and he didn't take long to understand. He ran a finger over his mouth to dry his lips and slowly made his way up, leaving kisses on her torso until he reached her mouth and gave her a lascivious kiss.

 _Holy shit_ , Raquel thought. She had barely come and she was already wet again, as she felt him press his erection against her entrance. She grunted, frustrated by the fabric of his underwear that still separated them, and pushed him on the mattress to take it off. She looked at him with a provocative smile and used her hand to stimulate him slowly, squeezing a little more at the base and rotating her wrist as it went up his length.

“ _Raquel_ …” Her name came out of his lips as he let out a groan, exasperated.

She didn't need to hear her name twice. With all the patience she could muster, she positioned his cock against her entrance and allowed her hips to meet his. They both closed their eyes when she felt his length filling all of her and she moaned softly, biting her lip to control the volume of her voice.

Sergio couldn't imagine a feeling better than having her there, on top of him, starting to roll her hips in a cadence that was both dominant and delicate. Noticing her telltale signs, he reversed their positions, standing over her and rhythmically thrusting himself inside her – at first slow and deep, then fast and hard. He brought his thumb to her clit again, stimulating her willingly, and she felt she could come undone right there.

" _There_ ," she moaned. "Right there, _joder_..."

He noticed her back arching, her lips parted, all the physical signs that she was close, _really close_ , and he leaned down to nibble on her neck, just below her ear, providing her with another sensory stimulation that nearly brought her over the edge. Then he increased the pace of his thumb on her clit, and within a deep, slow thrust she moaned loudly, her orgasm so close she could taste it.

"Sergio, I–" She tugged at his hair, digging her nails on his back to signal that it was time.

" _Raquel_ ," he groaned in her ear, allowing himself to empty inside her at the same time she gasped, giving into another powerful orgasm.

They spent a while frozen in that position, until he started placing soft kisses on her neck.

"Mmmmm," she practically purred, stroking his back lazily. "This right here..." She sighed, bringing a hand to his hair, tilting her neck to make more space for his kisses. "This is _everything_ ," she declared, smiling, and soon after felt his laughter reverberate on her skin.

"It really is," he said, pulling away just enough to look at her. She caressed his cheek, wishing it were possible to savor that feeling forever. And for however long they spent awake, exchanging kisses, caresses and laughs before falling asleep, they did everything to prolong the moment.

Until there was no more past, no more present, no more time at all.

_Yeah, you got it_ _  
_ _I have never needed nobody_ _  
_ _Nobody but you, nobody but you_ _  
_ _Yeah, you got it_ _  
_   
_I have never needed nobody_ _  
Nobody but you, nobody but you_


	12. Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves!
> 
> Here we go, our (finally) reunited couple tries to find their footing in this new configuration 🥰
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Work, by Charlotte Day Wilson, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_It’s gonna take a bit of work_ _  
__Oh, work_ _  
__Now that you’re here_ _  
__Whoa-oh, work_

That night, Raquel dreamed of the sea. She dreamed that she apparently floated in the middle of the ocean, that she dived and swam in the blue-green waves and almost crystalline waters and that when her feet touched the sand and she stabilized, opening her eyes, Sergio was the first thing she saw.

He was standing in front of her, by the water's edge, with the little waves that came and went wetting his feet and soaking the hem of his pants and she laughed, wondering why the hell he was wearing those beige pants on the beach in the first place. Then Cinci came running after him, hugging his legs and forcing Sergio to look back and pick him up, tickling him endlessly.

It was then that Raquel saw her, sitting on a tall, damp stone, dressed all in white, her long hair dancing in the sea breeze. She hummed a song that Raquel recognized as a lullaby that her mother sang to her when she was younger. And she had Sergio's eyes and her smile – she was _smiling._

When Raquel opened her eyes, still watery from her unconscious tears, she found herself back in her room, with Sergio's arms holding her against his own body, and she felt a smile forming on her face. She took a deep breath, wiping her eyes and turning on the bed until she was lying on her side, facing a Sergio who was still sleepy, but was already beginning to wake up with her movements.

She caressed his face and he let out a small growl as he opened his eyes. 

"Did you wake up before me?" He asked, incredulous, rubbing his eyes.

She smiled and gave him a tender kiss, then pulled away to look back at him. Even with his blurred vision, he realized that there was something different about her face.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing a strand of her hair behind her ear and caressing her cheek with his thumb.

She nodded, moving closer to him on the bed until their bodies were glued together. "I dreamed of Luisa," she explained in a low voice, like she was telling him a secret.

Sergio felt his heart stop for a second when he finally absorbed the three words. He spent a moment in silence, just watching her expression carefully - she had a sweet smile on her lips and her eyes were shining, in a mixture of joy and sadness, but she seemed calm. Serene.

"You were there," she continued, proceeding to draw random patterns on her shoulder. "Cinci too." 

"It was a good dream, then," he said, although he chanted the words as a question.

"Yes," she shook her head, pressing her lips against his again, letting all her affection spill over in that act.

When she pulled her face away from his, she smiled, and reached out to leave another kiss on his neck, pulling him into a tight hug right after. Sergio wrapped his arms around her, fitting Raquel under his body as if it were possible to keep her there forever, protecting her from anything and everything that could ever hurt her.

They spent a few minutes like that, simply feeling the heat emanating from each other's core, until Raquel broke the moment by nibbling lightly on his shoulder.

" _Oye_ ," he complained, laughing, and she followed him, moving away from him far enough to see those dimples that she liked so much appear on his face.

"What time is it?" She asked, leaving a trail of kisses on the piece of beard that covered his jaw. Sergio raised his wrist to look at his watch and had to squint to actually see the time.

"Almost seven," he replied, using his watch hand to stroke her arm gently.

"Hmmm," Raquel murmured thoughtfully, biting his earlobe lightly. "That means we have time.” 

And as quickly as she launched the idea, she pulled away the sheet and got up from the bed, completely naked 

"Where are you going?" He asked, confused, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm going to take a shower," she replied, extending her hand in his direction. "And you're coming with me."

She didn't need to speak twice and soon Sergio was standing up holding her hand as she guided him towards the suite's bathroom. Raquel was halfway to the shower when she felt him pull her against him, pulling her hair from her neck and leaving a series of kisses there and on her exposed shoulder, one arm holding her firmly around the waist.

She closed her eyes, sighing slightly, her back arching against his bare chest. She felt his fingertips brush over her belly, up and down her body, his lips alternating between dragging lightly over her skin and leaving equally delicate kisses there.

Raquel could feel his erection pressing against her back and every time his warm breath came close to the foot of her ear, she gasped. She took a hand to his hair at the same time she felt his hand go down to the middle of her thighs.

Very slowly, his middle finger slid through her center until he found her opening, provoking it with the imminence of a movement that never seemed to come.

"Sergio..." She pleaded, closing her first in a handful of strands of his hair.

She felt his finger make its way back, this time lingering on her clit and slowly stimulating it with spiraling movements. Her hand ran from his hair to his shoulder, seeking a little balance when she realized that her legs could no longer do its job.

He noticed it too, stepping away only to lead her to the tiled wall. She leaned against the wall, pulling him in for a hot, lustful kiss and ran her palm over the tip of his cock, taking advantage of some of the precum to close her fingers around his erection with precisely calculated movements, sliding her hand along his length, twisting her wrist then and adding a little more pressure there, until he grunted, biting her lower lip in response.

Raquel smiled mischievously, but before she could make any comment about having him in the palm of her hand, he pulled her by the hair and kneeled down in front of her, provoking her with the tip of his tongue, nibbling on her bare skin and leaving wet kisses along the way until he reached her wet core. He lifted her leg, resting it over his shoulder and brushing his beard on the inside of her thigh - she shivered instantly.

"Sergio, _please_ ," she begged, running a hand through his hair in an almost desperate gesture.

This time, he answered her promptly and closed his lips around her clit, sucking it at a pace she already identified as belonging to only the two of them. He sucked her without restraint, and when her moans became more shaky, he slid a finger in her opening, stimulating her with alternating movements, until he added a second finger in and, after a few moments, felt the exact moment she came, exploding in his mouth a few seconds later. 

Raquel couldn't explain how, moments later, she was already against the tiled wall of the shower, the water falling on them as he penetrated her. She gasped at each thrust and, every time she felt a loud moan come up her throat, she sank her teeth into his shoulder, while he, in turn, let all his moans escape directly into her ear.

" _Joder_ , Raquel," he gasped, feeling her walls tighten around him. She replied with a seductive smile, rolling her hips to further increase the friction of each movement.

Feeling his own climax approaching, he brought his thumb down to Raquel's clit, stimulating her twice until her breathing became more and more out of sync, her lips parted, her spine arched.

"Sergio, I–" she moaned, digging her nails into his back, signaling to him that her orgasm was close.

They came at the same time and their bodies remained together against the wall for as long as they were unable to move, still catching their breath and feeling all the water that fell from the shower head as a relief for their exceedingly burning bodies.

Finally, they finished showering between more chaste caresses and kisses, laughing and joking as if this wasn't the first time they had been in that situation in years. Raquel put on shorts and a white blouse to get out of the bathroom and look for the clothes she would wear to go to work, while Sergio put on his underwear and pants from the night before so he wouldn't run into Cinci on the hall wearing just a towel. He was almost putting on his shirt when he felt Raquel pull his forearm, causing him to fall with his back on the bed.

"Come back here," she said, kneeling on the bed and placing one leg on either side of his waist, lying on top of him to kiss him.

"You are very well energized for someone who hasn't even had her coffee yet," he joked as soon as she pulled her lips away from his to catch her breath.

"Imagine after the coffee," she raised her eyebrows suggestively and he laughed, quickly reversing their position and lying on top, pushing the glasses that were falling awkwardly on his face up his nose as her legs encircled his waist.

"Then I'll have to take Cinci to school and you have to go to work," he replied, letting out a longing breath.

" _Boooo_ ," she hissed, pouting her lips as she stroked his wet hair and he grinned back, his eyes practically disappearing in half-moons behind his glasses.

They were interrupted by the sound of the door opening and they both opened their eyes wide when they saw Cinci staring at them with a question mark on his face. Sergio quickly got up, and alternated his gaze between the boy and Raquel, in a mixture of shyness and nervousness.

"Good morning, mi amor," Raquel said to her godson, more calmly than Sergio could have sounded, propping herself up on her elbows to look at him.

"Good morning," he replied, pushing the bedroom door until it opened fully.

"Come here," she nodded to the little one, who was quick to do what he was asked and jumped on the bed, making her clumsily shake in her posture, laughing.

"Nina, can you hold me up on your legs?" He asked, apparently more interested in playing than in finding out what was going on between his godparents.

"Well, let's see, shall we?" Raquel raised her eyebrows, placing the boy sitting on her feet and raising her legs slowly until they were completely straight.

"Wooow, look, nino!" Cinci exclaimed excitedly. "It looks like I'm floating!"

“It really does,” Sergio smiled at his godson's giddiness and the three laughed when Raquel lost her balance and pulled Cinci by the hands so he fell on top of her.

Sergio surrendered, sitting down next to her on the bed and watching the two laugh. Raquel straightened up on the bed, sitting cross-legged between them.

Then Cinci caught his breath and looked at the two of them curiously, still with a smile on his face. "Are you dating?"

The adults felt their faces burn with shame – caught red-handed by their four-year-old godson.

"Uh... We..." Raquel started to answer, with a little uncertainty, and turned her head to look at the man beside her. "Sergio?"

Sergio, in turn, lifted his shoulders, smiling nervously back at her. They didn't even have a chance to talk about it, and although dating sounded too youthful for that stage of life they were in, he couldn't imagine what definition they could give a child without complicating things too much.

"Raquel?"

She smiled back, looking at Cinci next. "Yes, we are."

He was thoughtful for a moment, his forehead wrinkling as he pondered. "Does that mean you are no longer silly?"

Raquel and Sergio frowned at him.

"What do you mean?" Sergio asked, confused.

"Mamá kept saying that one day you two were going to stop being silly and date again," the boy explained, shrugging.

It took a few milliseconds, but soon Sergio and Raquel started laughing and Cinci joined them in laughter too.

"Well, I think your mom was kind of right, Cinci," Raquel said, ruffling the little boy's hair affectionately.

“Cinci, are you okay with this? If… If we are together?” Sergio asked, cautious.

He nodded quickly, as if he didn't need to think about it much. "Can we eat pancakes again?"

"After you shower and get ready for school, huh?" Sergio got out of bed, hoping that Cinci would do the same.

While the little one was walking towards the bathroom in the hall, Sergio approached Raquel again, standing in front of the bed.

"Well, now he knows," he said, putting his hands in his pants pockets, shyly.

"Yes," Raquel smiled and knelt on the bed, putting her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a tender kiss.

"Ninoooo, I'm already naked!" Cinci's scream echoed down the hall, interrupting their kiss and making them burst into laughter again.

_‘Cause people come and go_ _  
__But I think you should know_ _  
__That I_ _  
__I think this will work_

 _It’s gonna take a little time_ _  
__But with you by my side_ _  
__I won’t let go_ _  
__‘Til I’ve got what’s mine_

Raquel was dressed for work, with an apron around her clothes so she wouldn't get them dirty, putting all the ingredients for Cinci's pancakes in a large bowl, when she remembered a little detail to add to the mixture that not only was nutritious, but would also make her godson particularly excited. She quickly added the ingredient, covering it with flour, and put the jar back in the bottom of a cupboard.

"Nina!" Cinci exclaimed, running through the kitchen to where she was. "Look, I chose my own clothes today."

Raquel looked at his green checkered pants and his purple and yellow long-sleeved shirt with a shark print, a very eccentric combination, but very _him_. Sergio approached slowly, already with his shirt on, and shrugged.

"I can see that," she smiled. “You look very stylish. I left the best part for you, do you want to stir it?”

"Yes!"

Sergio pulled out a wooden bench and placed it next to the kitchen sink, helping Cinci climb on it. The little one quickly picked up the wooden spoon to begin his work, but Sergio kept his gaze fixed on Raquel.

"Hey," he called out to her, making her look up in his direction, and he moved even closer, gluing his body to hers. "You got something here," he put his thumb on her cheek and wiped off some of the flour that had settled there.

Raquel wrinkled her nose and he couldn't resist pressing his lips on hers, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh my God, look at this!" Cinci exclaimed excitedly, interrupting their little moment without even realizing that something was going on behind him. _"Look at this!"_

Sergio looked curiously at the bowl while Raquel smiled.

"The mix is turning green!" He continued, stirring the wooden spoon vigorously. "What did you put in here, nina?"

"Ah..." She smiled, raising her eyebrows. "A super secret and special ingredient."

She exchanged a knowing look and a small smile with Sergio, who was still resting an arm around her waist.

"I know! I think it was… broccoli!” Cinci tried to guess. "No, no, I _bet_ it was... magical plant dust!"

"Cinci!" She squeezed his waist, giving him a kiss on the neck. Perhaps ‘magical plant dust’ was a good definition for spirulina. "How did you get it right?"

"It wasn't that hard, it was just my second guess," he shrugged, sporting a little smile that proved he was proud of his correct answer.

The green pancakes were a success, as Raquel had imagined, and they ate talking about the activities that Cinci would have at school that day - he was very excited because the teacher said that in art class they would make a robot out of recycled materials and would not stop talking about it.

Time passed quickly – _too quickly_ – and Raquel had to say goodbye to both of them to continue on her way to work. She kissed Cinci on the cheek and Sergio on the mouth, making the little one giggle when he saw the two of them in this new configuration.

The boys did not take much longer at home either and within half an hour, Sergio had already left Cinci at school and was almost home when he received a call from Raquel. He quickly answered it, connecting it to the speakerphone.

"Sergio?" Her voice filled the car in an anxious intonation. 

"Raquel, are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"Yes, yes, it's just that my car's battery is a goner," she laughed nervously, and he calmed down. "The insurance is only due in one hour, can you come and help me?"

"Sure," he started making the first possible lap on the street he was in.

"Thank you, I'll text you the location," she replied.

In less than ten minutes, he was at the designated location. She was leaning against the car and tilted her head with a smile when he got out of the car and walked towards her.

"Sorry to bother you," she said, sliding her hands around his waist.

"You never bother me," he took her face in his hands and gave her a chaste kiss. "Shall we take a look at the battery?"

She nodded, going to the car to open the hood of her vehicle while he went to get the power cable from the trunk. After ten minutes trying to charge the battery of Raquel's car, without success, the two gave up and called a tow truck to take the car to a mechanic.

The twenty minutes of waiting until the tow truck arrived passed with them sitting on the curb of the street, sharing a huge churros Raquel had bought from a street vendor who passed by with a cart, and they kept talking and laughing like two silly teenagers.

When the car was finally towed, they got into Sergio's car so he could take her to work.

They were immersed in a comfortable silence, Raquel tapping the tips of her nails against the car door to the beat of the music playing on the radio. He felt an absurd urge to kiss her and smiled, relieved, when he realized that the only reason he couldn't do it then was just so he wouldn't lose control of the car. Now, he could kiss her whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted, however he wanted. 

Her left hand rested on his right thigh, caressing it with her fingertips as she stared distractedly out the window. He took her hand in his, intertwining their fingers and kissing her on the back of the hand and she turned her attention to him with a smile.

"Let's go away this weekend," he suddenly proposed.

Raquel choked out a laugh. "Go away?"

"Yes. We can take the car early Saturday, go to Cullera and come back on Sunday,” he explained, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb, alternating his gaze between her and the street in front of him.

She was surprised by the suggestion. Not only was he suggesting a trip to the beach when she had dreamed of it, but he was suggesting a _spontaneous_ trip. No weeks or months of planning, no checking of calendars...

"Just like that, out of nowhere?" She frowned in disbelief.

He released her hand to shift the car's gear, and her hand quickly found support on the back of his neck, stroking his hair.

"What?" He asked.

She laughed, shaking her head. "Who are you and what did you do with my Sergio Marquina?"

"I'm serious," he raised his eyebrows, making a commiserative expression, suddenly afraid he was going too far too soon. "What do you say?"

"You don't have to convince me, cariño," Raquel replied, smiling. "You had me at your first suggestion."

He smiled back, letting out the breath he didn't even know he was holding back. "So it's settled." 

"Cinci will be thrilled."

"Without a doubt," Sergio replied, stopping the car in front of the building where Raquel worked. "Alright. Here you go."

"Thanks for saving me," she said, stroking his face affectionately.

"It was a pleasure," he replied, turning his face to leave a kiss on the palm of her hand. "Have a nice day."

"You too," she said, loosening her seat belt and putting the strap of her bag on her shoulder to open the door.

"Wait, come here," he pulled her arm gently, leaning over to kiss her. "Now you can go."

She smiled, shaking her head from side to side, looking at him with shining eyes. She took a deep breath and finally took the courage to turn around again, opening the door, but he interrupted it as soon as her shoe touched the sidewalk.

"Raquel?" He called out to her, waiting for her to turn to him before he continued. "Let me know when you want me to come and get you."

She opened her mouth to answer him, but ended up leaning in for another kiss, getting out of the car shortly thereafter so as not to risk wanting to stay there forever. She had forgotten that being in love with Sergio involved that too – counting down the minutes until they were together again.

The day had barely started and she couldn't wait for it to end.

_‘Cause people come and go_ _  
__But I think you should know_ _  
__That I_ _  
__I’ll take it slow_

 _It’s gonna take a bit of work_ _  
__Oh, work_  
 _Now that you’re here_  
 _Whoa-oh, work_


	13. Roadtrip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves ❤️
> 
> I honestly can't tell you how happy it makes me to get these lovely comments from you 🥺
> 
> It genuinely warms my heart to know you appreciate this story!
> 
> 🎵 This particular chapter has a few songs, starting with YOU, by Morgan Saint, and ending all the way to Only Wanna Be With You, by Samm Henshaw, and you can listen to them here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Hatred is not in my blood_ _  
__Euphoria is what I feel in my dreams_ _  
__Love is what I’m searching for_

 _So take me away_ _  
__To safer grounds_ _  
__Where we can run free_ _  
__Away from harm_

_"Jessica, turn that volume down, you're gonna wake up the whole neighborhood!" Raquel begged before opening the car door and her friend grunted, turning down the volume of the radio against her will. "Thanks for the ride!"_

_She got out of the car and closed the door carefully before walking towards the gate of the house next to hers. She groaned, frustrated, when she found the gate locked and had to jump over the small fence that separated it from the lawn, tearing her skirt in the process._

_If she was less drunk, she would have cared more for the damage. Instead, she followed the side path that led to the windows of the boys' rooms and looked for small pebbles that she could throw at Sergio's window in his mother's flower bed. She began to throw them one by one on the window pane, and within a few seconds the light was on and a male figure was opening the window. But everything happened too quickly and Raquel had already thrown another pebble, which hit Andrés right in the head._

_"Fuck, Raquel," he complained, bringing a hand to his forehead with an expression of pain._

_"Andrés!" She exclaimed, covering her mouth with both hands. "Perdonad."_

_"I swear one of these days I'm gonna make you a copy of the key," he rolled his eyes at the same_ _time that the light in the room next to him turned on and Sergio appeared in the open window._

_"Sergio!" Raquel greeted him cheerfully, clapping her hands lightly._

_"Your girlfriend is drunk," Andrés commented through the window, looking at his brother with a mocking smile._

_"I'm not anyone's girlfriend," she replied, crossing her arms in front of her._

_"Andrés, I'm going to_ kill _you," Sergio threatened, just as his older brother closed the window and turned off his light. He turned his face around to look at his friend, who was still with her arms crossed as she stood in his backyard._

_"Are you going to let me in or what?"_

_He nodded, pointing silently to the back door._

_I could be looking for you_ _  
__In all the wrong places_ _  
__I could be missing on you_ _  
__With all of this dreaming_

 _I better chase this ghost_ _  
__Before it leaves me_ _  
__I can feel your warmth_ _  
__When my eyes go into hiding_

_In less than a minute the two were facing each other, as Sergio opened the kitchen door. She started walking towards the stairs, but he held her back by the arm._

_"No..." He used a slightly huskier and more commanding voice and it could be alcohol speaking, but that voice reverberated in Raquel in a way that she didn't want to dissect, so she pushed it aside. “Drink some water before going upstairs. Last time you threw up on the carpet, remember?”_

_She wrinkled her face in a frown and walked towards the sink, taking a glass cup from the colander and filling it with filter water. She drank the whole glass of water in big sips, under his patient gaze, and was ready to head to bed when she saw, from the corner of her eye, something by the side of the stove._

_"Did your mother bake a cake?" She widened her eyes, curious, looking back at him._

_Sergio had to hold back a laugh. Despite the work she gave him when she was drunk – it seemed that her innate stubbornness was elevated to the umpteenth power – she was always very funny._

_"Banana bread…"_

_She promptly rested the glass in the sink and went towards the bake good while moving her fingers euphorically_

_"Here's an idea," he said, approaching her and resting the palm of his hand on her stomach before she made a mess. "I'll get the banana bread and you get more water?"_

_She readily agreed and within a few minutes they were already sitting on the mattress in his room sharing a piece of the baked good while she told him all the gossip from the party, about schoolmates that Sergio didn't care about._

_She noticed she was babbling too much and stopped talking, but he instantly missed hearing the sound of her voice. Her drunken thoughts led her to remember about her parents and how angry they would be if they found out she had gone out to a party and gotten this drunk. No wonder she had simply said she was going to a movie marathon with Sergio and left without hearing any extra questions at home. There were a lot of benefits to being the best friend and neighbor to a perfectly goody-two-shoes nerd._

_"Did mamá call you guys?" She asked, putting the last piece of cake in her mouth. Sergio shook his head and she let out a breath._

_"You know, I could tell her that I am going on an excursion into an erupting volcano, if I tell her you'll go with me, she will wish me a safe trip," Raquel rolled her eyes and he laughed, placing the plate on the nightstand right by the empty glass of water._

_When he turned around to face her, his gaze landed on her legs and he noticed that the fabric of her skirt had loosening threads. He frowned at her. "What happened?"_

_She followed the direction of his gaze and shrugged._

_"Your gate was locked..." She simply replied, climbing under his covers unceremoniously._

_Sergio found himself laying by her side on his back, over the covers, with his hands clasped over his belly, too nervous to be in any other position. They had grown used to sharing the same bed since the age of 11, but four years later, Raquel didn't seem to realize that since puberty he no longer knew how to share the mattress with her for one night without having thoughts he_ shouldn't _be having about his best friend._

_"Sergio?" She called out to him, her eyes already half closed, in a sleepy and drunken haze._

_"Yeah?" He turned his head to hear what she had to say and was surprised when she placed a hand on his arm, giving him a light caress._

_"Thanks."_

_"What for?" He let out a nervous laugh and she followed him, laughing at how oblivious he could be about sentimental things sometimes._

_“For being you,” she slowly opened her eyes to look at him and Sergio felt his heart flutter. "I'm sure you will make someone very happy one day," she declared, reaching out to kiss his cheek and resting her head on his shoulder before closing her eyes to sleep._

_Unfortunately, Sergio did not have the same ease to fall asleep that night._

_Bleed with me and let’s feel it all_ _  
__Take my youth and make it all yours_ _  
__It’s all yours_

 _I could be looking for you_ _  
__In all the wrong places_ _  
__I could be missing on you_ _  
__With all of this dreaming_

It was after seven o'clock when Raquel managed to get home that Friday. At work, they were dealing with the opening night of an important cultural project and the work schedule was getting more and more chaotic as the launch day for the event approached. Of course, it was precisely that week, when she had countless meetings with several suppliers, that her car had to go to be sent to the workshop.

Her luck? She had Sergio.

Not only had he offered to adjust his home office hours to be able to take her and pick her up from work, but he also took upon himself to take care of Cinci's school pickups, extracurricular activities and the consultation with his psychologist.

That night, at least, Raquel managed to get the producer to pay for her Uber home and as tired as she was, she could only manage to smile when she arrived in the kitchen and found Sergio and Cinci finishing preparing dinner. She leaned against the doorframe for a moment, watching them in silence as Cinci poured tomato sauce into a bowl with the help of his godfather.

With all the stress that event had been causing her for the past few days, those moments with the two of them were her refuge. The moments just before Cinci woke up, when Raquel and Sergio enjoyed lazy kisses and caresses in bed, the lively rush of breakfast and the moments of laughter in the car while Sergio made the trips to leave Cinci and Raquel at their respective destinations, or the end of the day when the two of them went to pick her up from work, the conversations and games before putting Cinci to sleep and, of course, when the two went to bed together, seeking to reconnect physically and emotionally after a long day apart. In a week, they had already established all the little rituals that Raquel couldn't even imagine having back in her life a few months ago, but that now she couldn't see herself without.

"Buenas tardes, cariños," she finally approached the two, making her presence noticed.

"Nina, look, we made i-nho-quo," Cinci said, just as she kissed the top of his head. "Did I say it right, nino?"

“ _Almost_ , it's gnocchi,” Sergio replied to his godson, turning to greet Raquel. She wrapped her arms under his, hugging his waist and giving him a calm, homesick kiss. "How was your day?"

"Busy," she shrugged. "Better now," she added with a smile.

Sergio smiled back and she gave him another gentle kiss before going to the sink to wash her hands. The three took the bowls of gnocchi and salad to the table and sat down to have dinner together. They talked about the robot that Cinci had finally made at school and taken home, which he named the T-Rex Blue Exterminator, and, mainly, about the trip they would go on the next day.

Cinci was so excited that he talked about it all week, every night asking his godparents if the trip would be “tomorrow”. This time they were finally able to answer him _yes_ and he started to mention all the things he would do when they got to the beach.

After dinner, they spent some time playing a card game with Cinci – in which, of course, he invented all the rules and invariably won every turn. When they put him to bed and tiptoed out of his room, Raquel frowned when she saw Sergio heading towards the room opposite Cinci's, where he hadn't slept ever since Sunday night.

"Where are you going?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed together in a questioning expression.

He looked at her, laughing, realizing her confusion. “I'm gonna finish packing for tomorrow. Have you packed your bag yet?”

She shook her head, just as he imagined, and let out a groan of complaint. "Better do it now, huh?"

"Better now than tomorrow morning," he said, pulling her around the waist to kiss her. "I'll be there in a bit."

Raquel nodded and went to the master suite to organize everything she needed for the trip in a small handbag. It didn't take long to gather all the necessary items, but Sergio _was_ right – it was much better to wake up with everything ready and set rather than to do this task in a sleepy hurry, since they would have to wake up very early to hit the road and arrive in Cullera at a reasonable time to enjoy the rest of the day.

She was already in the process of zipping up the handbag when she felt Sergio's arms wrap around her waist, making the distance between their bodies nonexistent. She relaxed her body against his and felt his hand brush her hair from her right shoulder, leaving a kiss there before pressing his fingers firmly around her shoulders.

Before she could fully relax, a thought crossed her mind.

"Sergio, Cinci's bag," she said, turning to look at him, exasperated.

"It's all set," he soothed her, one arm still around her waist while the other tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows, surprised and relieved.

"I've also prepared some snacks for us to have on the road, they are all in the fridge."

Raquel shook her head slightly, unable to believe that such a simple and domestic gesture could make her feel so safe and appreciated.

"Thank you," she stroked his face, trying to show all her gratitude with her touch and her gaze.

He shrugged, clearly embarrassed by the compliment. "It was nothing, I just made some sandwiches and cut some fruits and vegetables–"

"No," she smiled, interrupting him while shaking her head. "Thank you for being you."

Sergio felt transported to that night in his childhood room, when they were 15 years old and she told him the same exact thing in a totally different context.

He was uncertain if she remembered that specific moment, if it was just a coincidence that she was using the same words from that day, but the only question that came out of his parted lips was:

"Are you happy?"

She looked up and gave him a smile so wide that her eyes practically disappeared with her fluttering eyelids.

 _"So happy,"_ she replied, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. Before he could deepen the kiss, she pulled away just enough to look at him again. "After the trip, don't you think you could... bring your stuff to our bedroom?"

"Our bedroom?" Sergio raised his eyebrows playfully, trying to contain his surprise at hearing her refer to the space like that.

“Our bedroom,” Raquel shook her head affirmatively, guiding him slowly to the mattress and adding, in a hoarse but convinced tone: “Our bed.”

He sat on the bed as she unzipped the skirt she wore, letting it slide down her legs and fall to the floor. Sergio swallowed when she walked towards him and settled on top of him, one leg on either side of his body, pressing her body against him while kissing him intensely.

He responded to the kiss with the same greed, opening his mouth over hers as if it were the only possible way to breathe. Raquel moved away just to remove his shirt and then hers. Sergio kissed her down the neck, sliding his hands behind her back to unzip her bra, which in a few seconds was already lying on the bedroom floor with the rest of her clothes.

Raquel moved around on his lap, rubbing herself on his erection and making him gasp with pleasure against her lips. In a quick movement, she lowered the waistband of his pants and released him from the fabrics that separated them. She was tired and all she wanted was to have him inside her, but Sergio seemed to want to tease her a little bit more. He pulled her panties from behind, causing the fabric to rub against her entrance and her clitoris and she moaned, tilting her head back.

"Sergio, _please_ ," she asked, hearing only his laugh in response.

She looked back at him and with the greatest concentration she could muster, lifted her hips, pulling her panties aside and sinking down on him slowly and provocatively.

She smiled, satisfied, when she saw him close his eyes and let out a groan. "Who's laughing now? 

He didn't dare to respond, pulling her in for another lascivious kiss before she started to move rhythmically on his lap. After a few minutes in that position, Sergio carried her, laying her on the bed and positioning himself on top of her, investing in slow and deep thrusts until her moans became more and more constant. Then he took his thumb to her throbbing center and stimulated her doubly, until the orgasm took her completely and he followed her, spilling himself inside her, the two of them completely united and surrendered.

_We were riding on Smith Street_ _  
__We were right on track_ _  
__I left it behind without sinking_ _  
__They all said I wasn’t thinking I found comfort_ _  
__I fell in love with avoiding problems_

“Pssst.”

Raquel moved her head, trying to get rid of a nudge on the tip of her nose. “Psssssst.”

She grunted, slapping Sergio's hand and opening her eyes, annoyed. He looked at her laughing as she scratched her eyes, still sleepy, lying with her torso partially on top of him and one leg totally hooked around his waist.

"We need to get up to hit the road," he explained, brushing a strand of hair off her face. 

"Okay, okay," she took a deep breath, stretching her back.

He placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "Good morning."

"No good morning for you, it's still dark outside," she mumbled, finally letting go and stretching herself on the mattress.

Sergio laughed and took the opportunity to get out of bed, clearly excited about the possibility of speeding up the chores for the trip. Raquel smiled, running a hand over her face, and let out an incredulous exhalation asking herself how was it possible to spend so much of her life without him?

Thanks to Sergio's agility and proactivity, within twenty minutes all the handbags, snacks and the cooler were already organized inside the car. Because if it had depended on Raquel's slowness and laziness, still drowsy from sleep, who took the same amount of time he took to handle everything just to shower, get dressed and carry Cinci to the chair, they would still need another twenty minutes to leave their house. 

While Sergio took the car out of the garage, Raquel poured herself a mug of coffee from the thermal bottle for them to share and looked back to make sure that Cinci was still sleeping peacefully. She took a sip, turning on the radio in a low volume and settling in the passenger seat.

Sergio was focused, probably trying to retrace all the way to Cullera in his head, and she felt her heart warm up as she remembered the so many trips between their families to the same beach. It started as an idea Mariví had the first summer Sergio found himself recovered from the illness that left him in bed for so long and ended up becoming an annual tradition between both families until all the children left home for college.

"Coffee?" Raquel asked, offering the mug to him.

"Thank you," he replied, taking the mug and a sip before returning it. "What are you thinking?"

"That the last time we went to Cullera together was on our first year of dating," she smiled, adjusting herself further on the seat and stroking his hair with her free hand.

He turned his head to look at her with a nostalgic smile on his face. "Sí..." 

"And now we are returning with a four year old and a new relationship."

The two laughed together at the absurdity of their lives before Raquel was completely distracted by the music that started playing.

"I love this song!" She exclaimed excitedly, turning up the volume a little bit. “ _When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch… Well, my mama told me, there’ll be days like this…_ ”

Sergio smiled broadly – he always found Raquel's English-speaking accent charming and, in fact, he had added that song to his playlist because of her and her passion for Van Morrison's music.

In the end, Raquel needed to admit that Sergio's idea of leaving early, however much it cost her a few hours of sleep, had been brilliant. They got super light traffic on the road and it was only two and a half hours after they left, around eight o'clock, that Cinci finally opened his eyes.

He looked around, trying to understand where he was, and then caught the attention of the two adults in front of him 

"Are we there yet?" He asked, making Raquel turn to look at him.

"Good morning, mi amor," she replied. "Not yet, but we are halfway there!" 

"I want to pee," he announced, moving in the chair.

Raquel looked at Sergio, smiling. They had just commented that they would need to stop at some point to go to the bathroom, especially when Cinci woke up.

"I'm going to pull over at the next possible stop, okay?" He replied to his godson, looking at him through the car's rear view mirror.

After a short stop for the bathroom and a snack break, Raquel put a film on Cinci's tablet so he would be distracted in the remaining hour and a half of the trip and they continued driving. They arrived in Cullera just before 10 am and when Sergio parked his car at Playa Los Olivos, Raquel seemed more excited than Cinci with the prospect of stretching her legs and her back after so many hours sitting in the car.

When they finally set foot in the sand, Cinci ran ahead of them, excited to be on the beach after so long. Raquel felt her heart swell with happiness, relieved that, despite everything, he seemed to be happy. His nightmares were getting scarcer, the nights when he wet his bed became more and more rare and the panic attacks he felt in the first days had never repeated.

Seeing Cinci laughing as he ran barefoot through the beach sand brought her some relief that they were doing the right things. He felt safe, he felt good, he felt loved. She let a satisfied smile reach her face.

Within a few minutes, they had already set up a corner just for them with a beach umbrella, two beach chairs and Cinci's inflatable pool. Raquel was just finishing spreading sunscreen on his face when Sergio managed to finish filling the pool with sea water – after some roundtrips to the sea that made small beads of sweat form on his forehead.

"Hold on, Cinci, we're almost done," she said to her godson, adjusting a cap over his head.

“Nina, this cap is UV, did you know that? I didn't need the sunscreen,” he attempted.

"Nice try, but you do need it if you want to spend the whole day at the beach," she replied, shrugging. "Do you want to go on the water with me?"

"In a bit. First I want to make the biggest sandcastle in the world,” he announced, taking his toy tool kit to start his work.

"Ah, ok," she nodded and walked over to where Sergio was sitting in the chair. "Take off that librarian shirt."

He laughed, looking at the white button-up shirt he was wearing and started unbuttoning it. He was not crazy to say no to Raquel Murillo. After he tucked the folded shirt in their beach bag, he noticed that she was laying her sarong in the sand right in front of him.

"Will you?" She showed him the tanning oil bottle and sat down in front of him.

"Sure," he took the bottle from her hand and poured some of the liquid into the palm of his hands 

"And Sergio?" She looked at him over her shoulder with a provocative smile. "You can take your time today."

She laughed and turned her head around to look at Cinci. Sergio would have adjusted his glasses on his face with nervousness if it weren't for the oily product in his hands. He took a deep breath before starting to spread the oil on her back in slow, circular motions. He ran his hands over her ribs and shoulder blades before paying attention to her shoulders, taking the opportunity to massage every area.

"Stronger," she pleaded, her eyes already closed.

He obeyed, pressing his fingers firmly in place before moving his thumbs in small circles and Raquel had to hold her breath as she remembered where those thumbs were the night before.

"You're full of knots," he said, interrupting her line of thought. 

"Hmm?" She opened her eyes, turning her head slightly to look at him.

"Right here," he pressed his fingers at a point where she felt her muscles tense.

"Feel free to undo them," she replied, smiling, and only smiled further when he laughed too.

With a lot of patience and pressure in all the right places, Raquel could already feel the difference in her muscles, and in her relaxed posture, and Sergio took the opportunity to slide his thumbs along the extension of her spine, stopping well at the base and massaging her low back.

"You know..." He approached her ear as if he was going to tell her a secret, leaving a kiss on her neck. "These tanners are terrible for skin health."

She snorted, rolling her eyes, and squinted at him. "Don't ruin the moment, Sergio."

He let out a nice laugh, running his hands over her belly and giving her a kiss on the cheek before she could even think of moving.

“And I'll have you know, this tanning oil is all natural and organic, okay? It's coconut oil and black tea and I don't know what else,” she explained, pretending to be upset by his concern and spreading some of the product on her arms and on the front of her body. "Pleased?"

Sergio brushed his beard on her neck and planted another kiss there. "Very much."

"Guys! Look at my castle!” Cinci shouted, calling their attention to a sand construction that looked more like a hill than a castle. He was covered in sand from the neck down.

“Wow…” Sergio's eyes widened, trying to show him that he was proud of the result anyway. 

"Looks awesome, nino! Hey, what do you think about going to the water now?" Raquel suggested. 

Cinci looked at his own body, covered with sand, and laughed. "I think that’s a good idea, nina…”

She laughed too, standing up promptly to carry the boy and run with him on her lap towards the water. Sergio watched the two of them from a distance, satisfied, until he saw the moment when Raquel and Cinci whispered something conspiratorially and the little one came running towards him, reaching out to hold his hand.

"Come, ninooooo," he exclaimed, pulling the adult with all the strength he had in his body.

"Ok, ok, coming," Sergio stood up, picking up Cinci himself and turning him upside down as he walked towards the sea.

The three of them played in the water for a long time, much to Cinci's delight, and only returned to the sand when the little one declared that he was hungry. They gathered their things together while he drank a bottle of juice and, after storing the chairs, the beach umbrella and the inflatable pool in the trunk of the car, they went to an open air restaurant that was right by the beach, the same one they used to go with their families so many years ago.

They wanted a light lunch since they were still going back to the beach, so they decided to order a large portion of salad and several tapas. At 3 pm, they were back on the beach and Cinci insisted that they sit near where a group of teenagers had built a fire. Keeping a safe distance, they laid out two sarongs there and spent the rest of the afternoon playing with Cinci in the sand and the sea. At some point, the child became friends with the group of teenagers, who distracted him long enough for Sergio and Raquel to alternately go to the sea to wash off all the sand they were covered in.

Before seven, Cinci was already passed out from sleep in one of the sarongs lying on the sand. The sun was not so strong anymore and Raquel insisted that they enjoyed the moment a little longer before going to the inn that Sergio had booked. He sat on the sarong and she nestled between his legs, her back against his chest as he hugged her and kissed her neck.

"Today was a good day," he declared, in a low voice, with a slightly embarrassed expression.

"It really was," Raquel turned to face him and made him tighten his arms around her even more. "Cariño..." She sighed, caressing his face lightly. " _Te quiero_."

Sergio smiled, beaming, and he almost didn't realize that his eyes were full of tears, but managed to control himself.

" _También te quiero_ ," he replied, giving her a sweet kiss, full of promises.

They spent some more time like that, lost in each other, until finally they decided to go to the inn before they missed the check-in hours. Sergio rented a room in a simple inn, not far from the beach, but that offered some good breakfast, a large pool and a toy library so that Cinci could have fun. The room was modest, but well decorated – in light tones and with drawings of boats, anchors and sea waves.

Sergio put Cinci on the single bed in the corner of the room and Raquel soon came over to put pillows around him and cover him with a sheet.

"I can't believe he's going to sleep all dirty like that..." She kissed her godson's forehead and shook her head in denial.

"Do you think he’ll sleep all the way to the morning?" Sergio asked, scratching his head.

“After today? For sure,” she said. "I just want to see the amount of energy he'll have when he wakes up tomorrow…” 

Sergio laughed.

"I'm going to get my bag from the car," Raquel said, taking the key he had left on top of the dresser and he took the opportunity to shower quickly.

When she returned and found him already dressed, combing his wet hair, she looked disappointed.

“You already took your shower? I was going to suggest we took it together…” She pouted and looked at him with a sad expression.

"Sorry," he gave her an embarrassed smile and approached her. "I thought about buying us dinner while you take yours."

“Hmmm. Okay. I'll take that,” she considered, throwing her arms around his neck. 

"Are you hungry for anything specific?"

Raquel contemplated the question for a few moments before her eyes shone, the answer already on the tip of her tongue.

" _Paella_."

"Okay," he smiled, giving her a peck on the lips and taking the car keys in his hand. "I'll be right back."

Raquel took a quick shower, with the door open, listening for any noise Cinci might make in the room. She washed her hair willingly, to remove all the grains of sand that had stuck in there when her godson decided to throw two hands full of sand into the air, and then blow dried her hair with the room's appliance.

When Sergio returned to the room with a bag of food and a few bottles of beer, she was sitting on the bed, wearing an extra-large long-sleeved gray shirt, finishing moisturizing her legs. They sat in a corner of the floor to eat together, sharing stories and memories from their past trips to Cullera.

They were so tired that, as soon as they finished eating, they decided to get ready for bed. Once they were lying on the bed, she pulled the covers over them and pulled him to lie behind her, spooning her.

Raquel already had her eyes closed when she felt his hand go under her shirt, his fingers brushing against her skin slowly, down her thighs, then up her belly, over her breasts and making its way back until they reached the middle of her legs.

"Sergio..." She tried to contest him, but her voice came out more like a low moan. As much as she wanted to object, she made no effort to remove his hand from her underwear. "Cinci is sleeping _right there_."

"You'll just have to be quiet," he whispered in her ear, biting her earlobe shortly afterwards. "Can you do that?"

She let out an involuntary laugh, complementing it with a light slap on his shoulder. His beard brushed the bare nape of her neck as he laughed softly and that alone brought even more chills to Raquel's body.

Realizing this, he seemed to regain his seriousness quickly, running his middle finger through her entrance, over the fabric of her underwear, and she let out a heavy breath. Noticing that she was wet made Sergio sigh on her ear, his erection pressing against her ass, and she moaned.

"Shhh," he reminded her, leaving a kiss on her shoulder before pulling her panties aside and sliding his fingers through her opening.

Raquel bit her bottom lip and tilted her head back, resting it on his shoulder, concentrating as hard as she could not to make a sound, even when he started to slide his fingers up and down her entrance. He went on to leave a series of kisses on her bent neck and soon stimulated her clitoris in small circles.

She responded by moving her hips, adjusting to each movement he made with his hands, her fists closing in the sheet with the pleasure his touch gave her. She felt her lip swell with the intensity of her own bite and almost moaned loudly when he inserted one finger inside her, then another, stimulating her back and forth while his thumb was still pressing against her clitoris.

He took the opportunity to bite the exposed skin on her shoulder and, suddenly, Raquel grabbed his hair and turned her face to look at him with a very serious expression.

"You," she whispered, and the word came out as a command and a plea at the same time. " _Now_."

Sergio didn't need to hear the words twice. He slid his fingers out of her just to get his hard cock out of his pants as she turned to lie on her side, facing him.

Raquel pulled her panties aside with her fingers and put one leg around his waist, still under the sheet, and guided him to her entrance. She already felt her breath hitch and, in order not to risk making any noise, she sealed the distance between them with a hungry kiss while pressing her hips against his, until he was inside her completely.

The two shared a muffled groan in that kiss, moving away just so he could start moving, stocking her calmly and slowly, and when the bed creaked beneath them, they paused for a moment, staring with wide eyes at each other and trying to make sure they wouldn't wake their godson. When they didn't hear any consequent noise from his end, they smiled at each other and kissed again.

She took the opportunity to push him down on the mattress and lie on top of him, their bodies glued together as she rolled her hips in the quietest way she could. And even in the dark, the light came in through the room's blinds and illuminated small fragments of her face, and when Sergio could see the glimpses of pleasure on her face, he felt closer and closer to his climax.

He put his thumb on her clitoris again to stimulate her, and this time, she bit his lower lip to prevent a moan. He reversed their position under the sheets and she wrapped her legs around his waist to give him more space. Sergio could feel her warm walls contracting with the way he penetrated her and when he felt her nails dig into his skin, he sought confirmation on her face.

Raquel nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence or even babble a word. She was on the edge of the precipice and all she could do was close her eyes and give herself up, at the same time that Sergio buried himself in her completely - and soon she felt the orgasm take her, her legs quiver and a moan die in her throat. It took a moment to realize that Sergio had also come, at the same time, and was leaning over her, catching his breath. They spent a few minutes like that, in silence, still connected, until he finally pulled his member from inside her and lay down beside her on the bed.

Raquel started laughing softly, shaking her head, and soon the two turned on their sides to face each other, even in the darkness.

"Oh my God, we are terrible guardians," she declared in a whisper, adjusting her panties under her nightgown, and saw Sergio smile.

“Are you kidding? We are amazing,” he replied in the same tone, giving her a light kiss on the lips, then on the corner of her mouth, on the tip of her nose, on her cheek, on her eyelid, on her forehead.

She smiled, hugging him under the covers and kissing his neck before looking back at him. He rubbed his thumb over her face, caressing her, and frowned when he realized she had a thoughtful expression on her face 

"What?"

She shook her head again, trying to shake the thought from her head as well. "Sometimes it feels like this is not real."

Sergio swallowed dry.

"I know..." He said, reaching for her hand between them and interlacing their fingers. “But it _is_ real. I'm right here,” he continued, pulling their clasped hands to leave a kiss on the back of hers, then on each of her knuckles. "Always."

"Promise?” 

"I solemnly promise."

She smiled fondly and responded by moving closer to him, stretching her neck to leave a long kiss on his lips. When they finally parted, she stroked his beard and let out a soft breath.

"Nighty night, Sergio," she pressed her lips against his one last time before turning on her side and nestling under his body as the little spoon. He snuggled around her, squeezing their bodies and sinking his nose into the curve of her neck.

“Good night, Raquel,” he whispered, leaving one last kiss right below her ear, before the pair closed their eyes and finally gave in to tiredness.

_But I want this_ _  
__You know I want this_ _  
__So come on and mess me up_

Cinci opened his eyes slowly, trying to absorb the light that came through the blinds at the same time that he was trying to understand where he was. He sat quickly on the bed, surrounded by pillows, and only breathed calmly when he saw that his godfather and his godmother were fast asleep in the bed beside him.

He slid off his own bed and climbed into theirs, sliding into the tight space between them as they woke up instantly. 

"Hey, Cinci," Sergio said, adjusting his arm over him and Raquel's waist, as she was already turning in their direction.

"Good morning, nino," she kissed her godson's cheek. "You want some cuddles, huh?"

Cinci rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, nodding silently, still sleepy. Raquel smiled and lifted her arm to wrap him and Sergio in a tight hug. They stayed like that for a while, the three of them waking up slowly, until Cinci sat up suddenly and looked at them both. 

"I'm hungry," he announced.

Raquel stretched on the bed, then sat down. "Alright, let's take a shower and have some breakfast." 

"I don't want to shower..." He whimpered, frowning.

"That’s a pity," Sergio sighed, standing up. "I was going to say we could go to the pool after breakfast, but I doubt they'll let you in all dirty like that..."

As soon as he said it, Cinci's eyes widened.

"We better take this shower, nina," he jumped at the proposal.

"Come on, you filthy skunk," she grabbed her godson, carrying him to the bathroom in between giggles.

Sergio took out an outfit for Cinci and was just finishing getting ready in the bedroom when Cinci threw himself, completely naked and still wet, on the double bed, jumping up and down. Raquel left the bathroom after him, exasperated, with a towel wrapped around herself, but she could only laugh when she saw him.

She looked at Sergio, who nodded and turned to his godson. 

"Come on, Cinci, let's put on your bathing suit," he offered.

When the three finished getting ready, they went to the inn's restaurant for breakfast. They sat at a table by the window, using a high chair for Cinci to sit at the table, and had breakfast while Sergio distracted Cinci with curiosities about Atlantis, the island that disappeared under the sea.

The waitress approached them with a notepad and a smile on her face.

“Good morning, can I offer you any item la carte? We have options for omelets and tortillas with various ingredients,” she offered.

"Hmmm, I'll have a spinach and cheese omelet, please," Raquel asked, looking at Sergio next. "Cariño?"

"The same for me," he nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. "Cinci, do you want anything?"

"Iced chocolate!" He exclaimed at once, almost spitting out the cut fruit mix he was chewing on.

"Okay... But you're going to have some of the omelet, okay?" Raquel pointed out to him, before taking a look at the attendant.

"All set, in a little while I'll be back with your requests. Hope your family enjoys your stay with us!" She smiled, walking away from the table and pulling a sheet of paper out of her notepad.

Sergio and Raquel looked at each other in silence, sharing a knowing smile. _Family._ That was what people thought when they saw them, and although they could not guess all the details that differentiated their stories from other families, it was undeniable that that was exactly what they were. _A family._

A silly smile remained on their faces for the rest of breakfast and most of the morning as they played with Cinci in the inn's pool. Luckily, there were two more children around his age who invited him to play, freeing Raquel to lie on the lounger sunbathing at the same time that Sergio opened a book beside her, sitting under the shade. He closed the book and rested it on the table, turning to her.

"I'm going to get some sparkling water, do you want anything?" He asked, standing up from his chair.

Raquel opened her mouth, but closed it soon after. She really wanted to have a drink, but Sergio was going to drive all the way back and she wondered if it wouldn't be unfair on her end to drink while he couldn't. He was watching her with curiosity.

"A frozen margarita?" He offered, arching his eyebrows.

She smiled, embarrassed, when she realized that he could still understand her perfectly without her having to say a word. "You don't mind?"

"Of course not," he replied, bending down to give her a peck on the lips. "Be right back."

Olivia, the mother of one of the girls Cinci was playing with, was lying just a lounger away from Raquel. They had already introduced themselves and talked a little about the children, but it was only when Sergio made his way towards the bar that she turned to face her again.

"Raquel," she said, fixing her blond hair behind her ear. Raquel turned her head to her curiously. "Do you mind if I ask how long you've been together?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. She was torn – she was definitely not about to tell her whole life story, or relationship history, to a woman, however nice she was, she had just met. Especially because maybe she didn't have all the time in the world to tell her everything.

She considered the answer cautiously – how long had she and Sergio been together? If she had to be technical... less than two weeks. If she had to count the years they dated in their youth, five years. But if she had to be honest, it was way more than that. Perhaps they never stopped being together, even apart, since they never managed to get over each other.

Raquel smiled, realizing that she had been silent for too long, and the blonde was anxious for an answer.

"We spent five years together, then split up and recently got back together," she said at last.

"Got it," Olivia nodded, taking a sip of her own drink. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, it's just that... you have a special connection.” 

She smiled at the blonde, nodding. "Yes, we do."

When Sergio returned, with a glass of sparkling water in one hand and a glass of frozen margarita in the other, Raquel thanked him and couldn't help studying his profile as he hunched over the book he had been reading eagerly in his hands. She remembered the first time she saw him, sitting on his bed and almost swallowed by the pillows and covers around him. She remembered the suspicion with which he looked at her when she appeared at his bedroom's door, and how little by little the suspicion was replaced by enchantment when she jumped on his bed with a board game.

She wanted to go back in time and tell herself not to waste a single minute with him, but she knew that this simple desire would not bring back all the time they spent together, it wouldn't change all the time they had been apart. So she got up from the lounger, rested her glass on the table in front of him and took the book out of his hands, sitting on his lap.

"What?" Sergio looked up at her, smiling with a surprised expression, but he wrapped his arms around her waist nonetheless.

"Nothing. I just wanted to be close to you,” she pressed her forehead to his and felt his hands caressing her back. She gave him a slow, peaceful kiss, then settled on the side of his chair with her legs in his lap, returning him the book so he could read again while she caressed his hair and watched over him and Cinci.

When it was close to noon, Sergio signaled to Raquel that they needed to go. She called Cinci and dried him with a towel. They said goodbye to the children and parents who were in the pool area and went to their bedroom to take a shower and get their things before checking out. As soon as they left the inn, they stopped for lunch at a restaurant and, when they were already in the car again to make their way back to Madrid, Raquel turned in the passenger seat to look at her godson, who was already looking for a game on his tablet.

“Cinci, what did you think of the trip? Did you like it?"

"I _loved_ it," he replied, excited. "Can we travel every day?"

"That would be great," Raquel said, throughout her own laughter. "Maybe on our vacation, huh, Cinci?" She turned to Sergio, resting her hand on his as he switched the gear. "What do you think, cariño?"

He turned his palm up, intertwining their fingers and looking at her with a smile on his face. "Anywhere with you."

_And you can break me_ _  
__If you’ll still take me_ _  
__Ruin me, if you’ll let me be_ _  
__One of the ones_ _  
__You say you won’t forget_ _  
__‘Cause I want this_  
 _You know I want this_ _  
So come on and mess me up_


	14. Slow Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovelies ❤️
> 
> Chapter 14, here we gooo! It seems so fast when it's updated daily like this 😂
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Marching Bands of Manhattan, by Death Cab for Cutie, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_If I could open my arms_ _  
_ _And span the length of the Isle of Manhattan_ _  
_ _I’d bring it to where you are_ _  
_ _Making a lake of the East River and Hudson_

_It was a Saturday in July 1995._

_Sergio's parents were traveling to visit the newborn daughter of his mother's niece, while he and Andrés had decided to stay in Madrid. Andrés had a date with his new girlfriend, Karla, and Sergio had arranged to watch a movie with Raquel that night._

_And although they had done it countless times over the past five years, this time Sergio was especially nervous. Today marked exactly two months and one day since they kissed at that party and things couldn't be better between them. Somehow, for reasons still incomprehensible to him, Sergio had managed to ask Raquel if she wanted to date him about a month before and she had said yes. It was all surreally improbable, and at the same time, nothing else seemed to make sense other than the fact that they were together._

_Punctually at 8 pm, Raquel knocked on the door and when he opened it, he found her holding a VHS box covering most of her face, except for her eyes open wide and, judging by the fine lines around them, a big smile._

_"Ready?" She asked, lowering the tape from her face and approaching him to place a peck on his lips._

_"Ready," he replied, making room for her to walk inside._

_She handed him the VHS tape and looked around as she took the coat off her shoulders. "Where's Andrés?"_

_"He went out with Karla," Sergio replied, taking the coat from her hands and hanging it on one of the hooks on the wall. "How's Laura doing with all of this?"_

_“Do you think Lau cares? She's already got a new boyfriend,” Raquel laughed, taking off her shoes and walking over to the couch, pleased to see the amount of snacks Sergio had set for them on the coffee table - salted popcorn, sweet popcorn, potato chips, roasted corn and caramel candies. "I think you got a little excited," he laughed._

_"Ah, did you not like it?" He asked, looking over his shoulder as he put the tape on the VHS device. "If you want me to, I can put away–"_

_"Shut up, Sergio," she laughed, sitting on the couch. "Turn off the lights!"_

_"Your order is my command," he nodded and pressed play before hitting the switches, turning off the lights in the room._

_Then he walked over to the couch and sat beside her, keeping a distance between them, his heart racing._

_Raquel, however, adjusted herself on the couch, closing the distance between them, throwing one of her legs over his and letting her fingers sew through the dark strands of his hair, her cheek resting on his shoulder._

_Sergio was nervous, but with time and the caresses she absently drew on his hair and neck, he seemed to calm down. Raquel was excited to watch Forrest Gump. Mariví had told her about the film after seeing it at the movies and Raquel was sad when it was no longer in the theaters – she had to wait until the film was released to video to be able to watch it and she didn't seem disappointed. She laughed, made little comments here and there and, in certain scenes, she cried too._

_It amounted to almost two and a half hours watching the film and the only moments when Raquel was not clinging to him was when she stretched out to have a snack or a sip of her water._

_When the movie ended and the credits started to roll on the screen, she blew out a breath as she wiped the tears from her face. Sergio turned to her, using his thumb to wipe a tear from her cheek._

_"Did you like it?" She asked, smiling._

_"Yes," he nodded, smiling back at her._

_Raquel took a deep breath, controlling her tears, and looked at him, with a smile still on her face. Slowly, she moved her face closer until her lips touched his. She gave him a sweet, tender kiss and pulled away just far enough to try to read the expression on his face. Sergio opened his eyes behind his glasses, unsure of what she expected from him, but with the certainty that all he wanted was her._

_So he bent his head, pulling her in for a deep kiss, and she opened her mouth instantly, ready for him. She knelt on the couch, bringing their bodies closer, until she was able to sit on his lap, kissing him intensely and stroking his hair as he pressed her against his body._

_They spent a few minutes just kissing, until she slid her hand under the shirt he was wearing, her fingertips caressing his skin and her nails then gently grazing down his back._

_Sergio opened his eyes to look at her and she smiled._

_"Sergio," she sighed, kissing him softly again before looking back at him. "Do you want to go to your room?"_

_His expression suddenly changed. He was nervous, clearly nervous. Raquel ran her fingers through his hair, calmly waiting for his answer._

_"You mean– I mean, are you sure–" He swallowed._

_"I am, if you want to," she replied, confidently._

_He tried to read her face silently and she kept the same patient and affectionate expression while stroking his hair and the nape of his neck._

_"Raquel, I... I never..." He gasped, stumbling over his own words._

_"Sergio," she put a hand on his face, making him look at her. "Me neither," she smiled, biting her bottom lip. "I wanted… it to be special."_

_His eyes roamed the room, trying to make sense of what she was saying. "We can wait for a special day, go on a date or–"_

_"No," she laughed, interrupting him. "That's not what I meant..."_

_She blew out a breath, licking her lips._

_"Being with you already makes it special," she explained and it was her turn to be nervous. She bit her lip once more, trying to hide the shyness that came over her. "If you want to, of course, I don't want to pressure you or–"_

_It was Sergio's turn to interrupt her with a kiss, seeking to ease her worries. When they broke apart, he nodded in agreement._

_"Let's go to my room," he smiled and she mirrored him quickly._

_Raquel got up from the couch, pulling him by the hand and going up the stairs on the familiar path to Sergio's room._

_"Wait," he said, arriving at his door. He went to his brother's room and opened one of his drawers, finding a condom packet there. Andrés would certainly not mind if he agreed to replace the package later._

_Returning to the bedroom, he found Raquel standing in the middle of his room, her golden, messy hair framing her face, still flushed from their kisses. She had been there countless times in the past few years and couldn't believe she was feeling nervous, but she was about to lose her virginity to her best-friend-slash-boyfriend. That ought to make anyone nervous, right?_

_Sergio closed the door, turning the key in the lock to guarantee their privacy if Andrés returned home early._

_"Nervous?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. He let out an embarrassed laugh. "Yes, a little."_

_"Me too," she smiled, putting her hands in the back pockets of her denim shorts, only to let her arms fall to her sides the next moment. "Come here," she asked sweetly._

_He walked over to her, apprehensive, and stopped in front of her. Raquel looked at him, her breathing uneven, and took her thumb to caress the apple of his cheek and then his lips, before leaning in to kiss him._

_She wanted to kiss him gently, to try to soothe his nerves, but when she felt his hand sprawl on her lower back, pulling her closer, she opened her lips to envelop him in a slow, passionate kiss._

_Raquel had kissed other boys before, but nothing compared to kissing Sergio. They seemed to fit together perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle, and every time their lips met, she found it difficult to separate from him._

_When they finally needed air and she was able to look into his eyes again, all of her worries dissipated. It was_ Sergio _. There was no reason to be nervous, she would trust him her life._

_With that, Raquel smiled. Carefully, she took the glasses off his face and placed them on the bedside table with the utmost care. She turned to him and slowly removed her shirt, revealing the black bra she was wearing. She saw the sweat forming on his forehead and, with a slightly more malicious smile, walked over to him, pulling his shirt by the hem and taking it off his body. Before he could feel embarrassed, she pulled him by the hand, leading him to the bed, lying on her back and pulling him down on top of her._

_She kissed him and, feeling his hesitation, pulled away again._

_"Do you trust me?" She asked, her voice barely audible._

_Sergio nodded quickly, without hesitation. "Of course."_

_"I trust you, too," she replied. "We can go slow, okay?"_

_He nodded silently and she made room for him to lie down next to her. She pulled him in for a slow kiss, letting her tongue dance over his, bringing her body closer until their skin was in contact._

_Gradually, Sergio recovered his confidence and let his hand travel over Raquel's body. When she put one leg between his and moved her thigh against him, he groaned._

_They stayed like that for a while, until Raquel pushed him lightly on the bed and sat on top of him. Silently, she unhooked her bra and tossed it on the bedroom floor._

_Sergio looked at her, rapt, his lips parted as if he was lacking air._

_She bit her lip and looked down, feeling a little too exposed, and he sat up, putting an arm around her waist._

_"Raquel, you are surreally beautiful," he murmured, letting his fingers lightly caress her breasts. She gasped and closed her eyes, surrendering herself over to him._

_Sergio kissed her neck, then her breasts, putting all his attention on hearing each of her sighs, on kissing each of her skin marks. When he laid her down on the bed and unbuttoned her shorts, he already knew how to identify each of her moans and movements._

_He kissed her intimacy slowly, discovering every inch of her and how she liked to be touched there. Occasionally, she would gasp a "higher" or a "faster" or a "right there" and Sergio made sure to follow her directions to the letter._

_When she called for him, Sergio took off the rest of his clothes and put on the condom. He lay on top of her and positioned himself at her entrance, watching Raquel closely before making any move._

_"You're good?" He asked, stroking her face with his thumb._

_She brought her hand up to his, intertwining their fingers and resting their clasped hands on the mattress._

_"Yes," she nodded._

_And Sergio gently entered her, gradually, and standing still for a few moments, waiting for her answer. Raquel, who had her eyes closed, squeezing his hand desperately, opened them to make sure he knew everything was fine._

_"Keep going," she asked and he nodded, sliding further inside her and when she seemed to get used to his length, she started to roll her hips and, unconsciously, she slid her fingers down her body to touch herself._

_"Raquel," he called out to her. "Let me–?"_

_The question died on his lips, but she understood and agreed, letting him take over the place where his thumb where her fingers were and moving them, stimulating her._

_Within moments, she moaned loudly, writhing her body and sighing his name and that's what made him explode – his name coming out of her lips as she gave herself up to pleasure. He soon followed her, moaning her name, and when he lay down next to her, the two hugging and laughing, Sergio was sure he knew no greater happiness._

_If I could open my mouth_ _  
_ _Wide enough for a marching band to march out_ _  
_ _They would make your name sing_ _  
_ _And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings_

After the trip to Cullera, Sergio and Raquel could no longer avoid behaving like a couple in love because, irrevocably, that was what they were. A couple completely in love.

So, upon their return, Sergio fulfilled their agreement and took his belongings to the main suite. Since the night they had sex in that room for the first time, they hadn't slept apart one night. Raquel no longer knew how to sleep without his arm draped around her body, nor did she know what it was like to wake up a few minutes before her alarm with him leaving a series of kisses on her face and neck – and she didn't even care to remember what her days and nights were like before that.

Maybe it was the amount of time they let themselves be apart from each other despite their feelings, maybe it was the happiness of being together again after all this time apart, maybe the name of that was longing, homesickness, but all they knew was that they didn't know how to be apart anymore. When they were together, it was as if a magnet pulled them close together. A touch here, a caress there, a kiss on top of everything.

There was a moment in her life that Raquel doubted if she would ever get a taste of what she had with Sergio in her youth. The levity, the sweetness, the passion. Every time she got involved with another man, she was sure the answer was no. She would never be able to recover that good feeling in the pit of her stomach when he was around, when he stole a kiss or when he whispered something in her ear.

However, she was wrong. She would again feel that again, all that passion, all that lightness, that shiver in the back of her neck and that heat in her belly. And Sergio would once again be responsible for awakening all those feelings in her.

It was Sergio on her first time. It was Sergio again. It would be him every time. It would _always_ be him.

There was only one question that they seemed not sure how to face: how to tell their friends that they were together again. They decided that perhaps the ideal would be to talk separately with Andrés and Ágata and let them do the job of announcing to the rest of the group, so that they would not have to deal with all the questions that would arise from their loved – but at times overbearing – friends.

However, that was not their priority at the time. Raquel was still very busy with the opening of the project in the upcoming week and in all the free time she had, she wanted to be present in Cinci's routine or just relaxing, resting her head on Sergio's chest and allowing herself to breathe calmly.

On Friday, Raquel was especially irritated by her work. One of the artworks that would be exhibited at the inauguration was stuck in customs and she spent almost all day running around the city to solve the problem. When she finally succeeded, she decided that she would _not_ return to the office and, instead, decided to eat a slice of vanilla-caramel cake from the coffee shop close to Dr. Vera's office, waiting for Cinci's appointment. She deserved that moment of tranquility.

Upon arriving at the office, ten minutes before the scheduled time, her eyes scanned the waiting room looking for Sergio and Cinci, but they didn't seem to have arrived.

"Raquel," she heard the receptionist call for her from behind the table, with a friendly smile. 

"Hi, Tereza," she replied. "How are you?"

Tereza nodded. “Good, how are you? I haven't seen you here in the past couple of weeks.”

"Yes... The workload got really heavy these past few weeks," Raquel raised her eyebrows, pulling a face at the youngest, who laughed in earnest.

"I imagine..." She said, looking towards the door right after. “Look who's here! Hi, Cinci!"

"Hi!" The boy ran past the door that Sergio was holding open, going straight to the toys that were in the middle of the room.

Sergio smiled at Raquel, surprised by her presence. "You managed to get out of work."

She smiled back, nodding. Sergio came over and gave her a soft kiss, completely ignorant of the fact that Tereza watched the two of them with eagle eyes.

Raquel tried not to smile broadly, knowing that the receptionist was flushed with embarrassment and pretending to be fiddling with the computer while watching her every move, but she couldn't help the joy that filled her inside when Sergio was close by.

Imagining what must have gone through Tereza's mind in those two weeks of her absence and how distracted Sergio could be for these sort of things, she pulled him by the hand to the chairs, to prevent the situation from getting any more embarrassing for the young girl.

"Did you manage to solve the problem at customs?" Sergio asked after they sat down, their hands still intertwined, his thumb caressing the back of her hand.

"Yes, thanks for contacting Benjamin," she smiled. "He really saved me today." 

"Good," he replied, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

Raquel let out a relaxed laugh when she realized that everything was lighter when she was with him and she seemed to completely forget the stressful day she had. She got as close to him as the chairs' arms allowed and brushed the tip of her nose on his, her eyes closed, letting a small sigh leave her lips when he squeezed her hand. Now that she had him back, she didn't want to give up that feeling for nothing. And she felt as if a weight was lifted from her shoulders when she realized that, good day or bad day, what mattered was that he was beside her.

_I wish we could open our eyes_ _  
_ _To see in all directions at the same time_ _  
_ _Oh what a beautiful view_ _  
_ _If you were never aware of what was around you_

On Saturday morning, Andrés sent out a message to their group chat. He had some good news to share and wanted to invite them to dinner that night, to share the good news live and also see each other since it had been a while. Sergio and Raquel thought about taking Cinci to dinner, but when Agustín called offering to stay with his grandson that night, they felt it would be a good chance to take a night off and enjoy with their friends.

What they did not expect was that Andrés would welcome them with all the uncooked ingredients for the meal on the dinner table, delegating to his friends the task of preparing and cooking the dishes. At least he seemed to have bought a large box with several bottles of wine to keep them distracted and fueled as they worked.

“You know, Andrés,” Raquel let out a deep breath as she finished cutting the hearts of palm and olives for the salad. "Traditionally when you invite people to dinner at your home, you _make_ the dinner, you don't delegate it to them."

"But where would the fun be in that?" Andrés asked, stealing a piece of palm heart from the cutting board quickly. "Think about it this way, I'm offering both dinner _and_ entertainment."

"Yes, I'm having a lot of fun chopping onions and artichokes, thanks, Andrés," Laura added from across the table, wiping her eyes that were watering with onions using a cloth napkin.

"It's my pleasure, Lau," he countered sweetly, before opening a mocking smile. "But you weren't even supposed to be here."

Laura frowned at her ex. "Then you should have messaged the right group chat."

Raquel laughed at the splinters that flew between them. It was amazing that they had managed to last a month together when they were younger, since they were always in each other's throats, but just a few months after their breakup they were back to their weird, default friendship. After so much time living with each other, as neighbors, friends and in-laws, it was as if they themselves had become brother and sister. Which, of course, also made room for Raquel and Sergio to tease both of them with the relationship they had in their youth. 

"So, what's this big announcement you have to make, Andrés?" Mirko wiped his hands that were seasoning a fish on a dish towel and took his glass of wine, looking up at the host for the evening.

"Yeah, can you tell us now or do you want us to finish making dessert first?" Ágata corroborated.

"Okay... I think I can tell you now, let's take advantage of the fact my brother has already opened the first bottles of wine..." Andrés replied, noticing that Sergio was returning from the kitchen with another decanter to replace the liquid in their friends' empty glasses. "So…"

"Are you finally going to tell us you're in a relationship with Palermo?" Ágata asked, with a malicious smile.

Martín almost choked on the wine he was sipping and Andrés squinted his eyes in his friend's direction.

"Ágata!" Laura exclaimed, with an expression of shock, bringing her hand up for a high five. 

"Ehhh, that was a good one, right?" The brunette laughed, high fiving her friend.

“I hate you all,” Martín declared, in a mockingly serious tone, although Andrés seemed to be enjoying how red the Argentinian’s face had become.

"Ah, wait!" Julia intervened, looking at her girlfriend. "Silene asked us to give her a call, remember?"

"Verdad," Ágata thanked her, stroking her arm affectionately, and took the phone out of her pocket to call her friend. "Silene?"

"Holaaaaa!" Silene's voice echoed through the room and Ágata propped her phone on a bowl, facing Andrés. "How are my favorite old people doing?"

"Ready to hear Andrés' announcement," Martín replied, ever so curious to hear what he had to say. 

“Ah! Me too,” the youngest exclaimed. "Please, Andrés, the stage is yours."

"Well... The reason I called you here is that..." Andrés cleared his throat, adjusting his tie. “I was invited to do my first solo curated exhibit for an art gallery in Berlin.”

"Andrés!" Raquel exclaimed, letting out an excited sigh. 

"That is amazing!" Ágata clapped her hands together.

“Congratulations, hermano,” Sergio squeezed his brother's neck with affection, a proud expression on his face.

"Thanks, I... I just wanted to share this with you and celebrate together," Andrés continued with a smile. “These past few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about the importance of enjoying our moments together. I am happy to have you to share our achievements.”

Raquel pouted and tried to hide her own tears by poking fun at her friend. "Andrés... are you going to cry?"

Everyone laughed and Andrés had to make an effort to hold back both the laughter and the tears that were in his eyes.

"Even you, Quel?" He asked, shaking his head. 

"I just follow the music," she shrugged.

"Well, I'm not going to cry, that was it," he tried to end the matter. “As soon as I have the details like the opening date set, I’ll let you guys put it on your calendars."

"A trip with us all to Germany, what could go wrong?" Leon took a sip of his wine, letting out a growl that, in his language, was like a teasing laugh.

"Nothing is going to go wrong, Leon," Yashin frowned. "Bite your tongue."

"That was all?" Silene asked, her image slightly faulty on the phone screen. "Did I just skip a costume party at a casino for _that_?"

"Thank you, Silene, you can hang up now," Andrés narrowed his eyes at the youngest, showing her a plastered smile.

While they teased each other, Sergio approached Raquel from behind, reaching out to take her empty cup and resting a hand on her lower back.

"Do you want more wine?"

"Please," she replied, smiling. "Thanks, cariño."

Unconsciously, Sergio left a kiss on her shoulder and, as soon as he realized what he had done, he noticed that Raquel was frozen beside him.

A quick look around made him realize that the eyes of all his friends were on them, in a mixture of surprise and disbelief.

 _"Cariño?"_ Laura echoed the last word that came out of her sister's mouth, filling the silence.

"What is it?" Silene asked, still connected to the video call but unable to see what her friends were looking at. "What happened? Someone turn me over to the action!”

Ágata took the phone from the table and held it towards their friends. "Sergio and Raquel just unintentionally exposed themselves."

"You guys are back together?" Andrés asked, stunned by the information. Damn Sergio and his mouth shut. How had he gone so long without saying anything?

Raquel and Sergio looked at each other, and she shrugged, letting out a deep breath.

"Well..." She looked at her friends, who were anxious for an answer. "Yes, we are back together."

For a moment, everyone was silent again and Raquel felt her heart flutter. My God, did they think that was a _bad_ idea? Would they make any kind of opposition?

"Okay, who bet a month?" Ágata asked, looking around the table. 

"It was me!" Mirko raised his hand, anxious.

"No, wait," Andrés raised his hand. "It took them a month to announce it to us." 

"Yeah, Raquel told me that they kissed on her birthday," Laura intervened. 

"Laura!" Raquel exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock.

"Hermanita, don't mess with us, this is a serious bet, there are four hundred euros at stake here," the oldest sister replied.

" _Four hundred euros_?" Sergio's eyes widened as he let the air out of his lungs emphatically.

"I can't believe you made a bet on our love life," Raquel gasped, letting out an incredulous laugh, but Sergio slowly pulled her around the waist to the other side of the living room, knowing his friends wouldn't stop discussing it so soon.

"So what do you think, are we going to guide ourselves by the day they kissed or the day of the announcement?" Andrés asked seriously.

"Maybe because the day they consummated the relationship?" Martín proposed, mockingly, turning to the couple who were no longer among them.

Their friends discussed the parameters of the bet and Ágata retrieved the notes she had made of each bet on her phone, while Silene's voice seemed to be cut off by her internet connection. As far away from the others as possible, Sergio sat in an armchair and pulled Raquel to sit on his lap.

"I can't believe that," she shook her head. 

"Did you really expect less from them?"

Raquel laughed, putting an arm around his neck. 

"At least now I can do this," she nestled against him, leaning in for a kiss. She pressed her lips to his gently, while he pulled her body closer, and they were about to deepen the kiss when they were interrupted by onomatopoeic sounds of their friends, clicking their tongues and imitating the sound of kisses to tease them.

They parted just enough to smile, their foreheads rested against each other. 

“They are more immature than Cinci,” Raquel whispered and Sergio laughed.

"You see?" They heard Ágata gasp from the opposite side of the room, pretending to be exasperated, but with a smile on her face nonetheless. "They are already in their bubble again."

The two laughed, but fortunately, they couldn't deny it.

_And it is true what you said_ _  
_ _That I live like a hermit in my own head_ _  
_ _But when the sun shines again_ _  
_ _I’ll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in_

They spent a few more minutes listening to their friends' teasing and taunting, but they couldn't deny that they were happy. That much was noticeable to everyone. After a while, the subject fell into oblivion, and the fact that the two were together seemed to have no influence on the group's small talk. In fact, it seemed that they had never parted. After dinner, they were all scattered around the living room, talking in small groups while Andrés chose the soundtrack on his record player.

It was at the moment Sergio went to refill his wine that he felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket and answered the call quickly.

“Agustín? Hi, how are you?" He asked, placing the cup on the table. " _What_?"

Sergio felt the apartment spin on its axis. With a strength that he didn't even know for sure how he managed to materialize, he took a few firm steps to where Raquel was, talking animatedly with Ágata and Julia.

"Raquel..." He put his hand on her arm, drawing her attention to him.

Raquel turned and the smile on her face faded quickly when she noticed how pale Sergio was, practically sweating cold. Ágata and Julia just watched the two in silence.

"What is it?" She asked, her heart starting to beat wildly in her chest. "Is everything okay with Cinci?"

"We need to go to the hospital," Sergio informed her in a shaky voice. _"Now."_

_Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole_ _  
_ _Just like a faucet that leaks_ _  
_ _And there is comfort in the sound_ _  
_ _But while you debate_ _  
_ _“Half empty or half full?”_   
_It slowly rises_  
 _Your love is gonna drown_


	15. Heaven's Only Wishful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves ❤️
> 
> Chapter 15! 🥵 This was originally the end of this fic but as you may have seen from the chapter count that has slightly changed... I added 5 extra chapter because I know no limits so I hope you enjoy them, lol 😂
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Heaven's Only Wishful, by Mor Mor, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_I’m just a poor boy_ _  
_ _Waiting for answers_ _  
_ _No one heard you coming_ _  
_ _I watched the ashes blow away_

Raquel lost any sense of time and space.

She didn't remember how they left Andrés' apartment, or how they got to the hospital, or how long the journey took. She only knew that it was all unbearably long and lengthy.

She found herself looking at several different places, but unable to focus on anything.

The truth was, if it weren't for Sergio, who didn't let go of her hand for even a second, she wouldn't have a clue where she was or where she was going.

She only realized where they were when they walked towards the automatic emergency doors and she felt her feet freeze on the asphalt. Sergio looked back at her immediately, her arm stretched out in front of her as he held her hand, and she stared at the name of the hospital lit by small spotlights.

She felt her heart tremble and didn't realize she was crying until Sergio stopped in front of her, using his free hand to cradle her face, trying to make her look at him. When Raquel finally managed to focus on his eyes, she saw the concern that weighed on his expression.

She nodded silently and he walked with her at a slow pace until they passed through the glass doors and reached the reception desk.

Sergio swallowed dry – for a moment he forgot how to articulate a sentence. 

"Good evening, our godson is in the emergency room, we–"

"Good evening, may I see your identities, please?" The receptionist interrupted him.

He nodded, letting go of Raquel's hand for the first time since they left Andrés' apartment to get the ID from his wallet and look for Raquel's in her purse. When he finally got the two together, he handed it to the woman behind the counter.

"Thank you," she said, making the necessary records of the data and giving them the documents back with a pair of stickers. "Put the stickers on, please, and then you can go in and then take a right.” 

Sergio kept the identities in his back pocket and placed one of the stickers on the top of his shirt. Then he turned to Raquel, pressing the other sticker on her dress.

Sergio took a deep breath and took her hand again, nodding quietly to her before they entered the next corridor. They went straight and made a right turn, arriving in a new wing of the hospital. He looked at the reception desk, which was empty, and approached the first doctor he saw in front of him.

"Good evening, we are responsible for Cincinnati Ramos," he said, his voice shaking.

"Hola," the doctor replied, looking up from the clipboard he held. “I'm Dr. Mikael, I attended Cincinnati in the emergency room. I was updating his file right now,” he smiled, probably in an attempt to dispel their concern.

Raquel immediately looked up. 

"He's fine, he had an asthma attack, but he's already been medicated," the doctor explained.

She let out a breath that she had no idea she was holding. Relief filled her lungs, her belly, every pore of her body. It was only when she allowed herself to rest her eyelids for a second that she realized that the doctor was still saying something. She quickly opened her eyes.

“– he still needs some more nebulizations and after that you can go home. He's on the last bed, in the medication room, right there,” the doctor continued, looking at Sergio and then down at his phone. "Excuse me, I'll see you guys soon, okay?"

"Thank you," Sergio nodded, deeply relieved. It was as if the weight of a thousand tons was lifted from his shoulders. He shook his girlfriend's hand in his. "Let's–"

And it was then that he turned his face to see her and realized that she was hyperventilating. Her hand was shaking, her eyes were cloudy and she looked like she was sweating cold. 

"Raquel?"

She couldn't answer. Sergio's voice was distant, as if it were just a memory. Her vision seemed blurred and she only realized she was falling when Sergio's hands supported her around the waist, leading her to one of the reception chairs.

"Raquel, sit here," he bent down, kneeling on the floor in front of her and holding her face with both hands. “Breathe for me, okay? Look at me,” with an effort, she managed to look at him.

And maybe it was just what anchored her to reality at that moment.

"Breathe in..." He asked, inflating the air into his lungs to accompany her. She followed his instructions, breathing in the air. "Breathe out..." They breathed out through their mouths. "In… Out..."

They continued for a few more moments, until she was able to regain her healthy breathing. A passing nurse served them a cup of water and Raquel managed to send her a weak, thankful smile. She drank the liquid in one gulp, throwing the plastic cup into the trash bin next to them. 

She finally seemed aware of her surroundings.

"Sergio..." She sighed, grabbing his collar and resting her forehead against his.

"Come here..." He pulled her into a tight hug, placing a kiss just below her ear. "It's okay... He's fine..."

She shook her head. "So many thoughts went through my mind..."

"I know... I hate to be here again too, but he's fine," Sergio replied, pulling away to look her in the eye. "And he must be waiting for us, huh?" Caressing her cheek affectionately, he placed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "He must have been frightened too."

"Y-yes," she stammered, nodding her head vehemently.

"Look at me," he asked her, using his thumbs to wipe the tears that were streaming down her face. She sought his gaze and concentrated on that pair of brown eyes she knew better than her own.

"I'm here with you. Okay?" Sergio offered her a knowing smile and she reflected it unconsciously. "Let's see him, huh?"

She took a deep breath, reaching for his hand. "Okay."

They walked down the corridor hand in hand until they reached the medication room. They passed through the beds, each separated by a lilac curtain, until they reached the last bed.

"Cinci?" Raquel called out to him, looking both ways before seeing her godson lying on the bed on the left.

"Nina!" He exclaimed, his eyes sparkling when he saw them. "Nina!"

Raquel released Sergio's hand to launch herself at the little one, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Hola, mi amor!" She showered him with kisses before holding his face and looking at him. "How are you feeling?"

"I can breathe again," he replied, as if it were nothing at all. Sergio was standing on the other side of the bed, stroking the boy's hair with deep affection. “And they gave me this thing that makes me talk like a robot, look,” he took the nebulizer mask and put it in his mouth. " _I'm a robot from the future_ ," imitated a mechanical voice.

Sergio let out a wistful laugh and Raquel smiled, pressing him again against her chest.

"Ah, Cinci..." She smoothed his blond hair, taking a deep breath and pressing her nose against the top of his head.

“Agustín…” Sergio turned to see his friend's father getting up from the chair behind him. "Sorry, how are you?"

"No problem, I understand the priority," the older man smiled. “Better now, right? I'm sorry I called you that way–”

"No, thank you. You did the right thing,” Sergio replied, squeezing his friend's arm thankfully.

"Well, Cinci... Now that your godparents are here and you're okay, I'm going to leave you with them, okay?" Agustín walked away slowly, smiling at his grandson. "The nurse told me that you can't have so many companions here..."

"Okay, abuelo," Cinci replied, still being squeezed by his godmother. 

"Tomorrow I can go see you and bring some ice cream, what do you think?" 

"Deal!"

“Thank you, Agustín,” Raquel smiled, shooting him a grateful look.

"Buena noche, queridos," he replied. "Text me when you're heading home, please?" 

"Of course," she agreed, finally loosening her arms around the little one.

Sergio leaned over the bed to caress his cheek. "Hey, nino..."

"Do you know they are going to call my name three more times?" Cinci asked, as if telling a curiosity, looking from side to side at his godparents. "They are going to give me three more ne-bu-za-ta-tions."

“Nebulizations,” Sergio corrected him softly.

"That's what I said," he frowned and Raquel snickered.

She walked around the bed to put the bag on the side table and leaned on the bed again, next to Sergio, looking at her godson.

"Cinci..." She said, stroking his leg over the covers. “Tell us how you felt. What happened?" 

"I was sleeping on the couch and I woke up and I couldn't breathe..." The little one explained, gesturing widely. “Then I started coughing a lot and my belly started to hurt and I threw up. So abuelo put me in his car and brought me here,” he continued. Then he broke into a smile. “Did you know that I was born in that hospital? Abuelo told me.”

Sergio smiled back. "We know."

"We came to visit you when you were still a little baby," Raquel replied, feeling a tear run down her face and rushing to wipe it with her thumb. 

However, that did not go unnoticed by Cinci. "Nina, why are you crying?"

"Because I was worried and now I'm happy that you're okay," she answered honestly. 

"Cincinnati?" A nurse's voice echoed through the room.

"It's me!" The little one shouted, his eyes widening.

"Here," Raquel reinforced, until a nurse with braided hair appeared in front of them.

"Hello..." She smiled, placing the medicine tray on a side table. "Popular boy, huh? Already with new companions!"

"They are my nino and my nina," Cinci explained. "I live with them and they date."

Raquel raised her palm to her face, letting out an incredulous laugh. She didn't need to look back to make sure Sergio was the color of a tomato.

"Got it..." The nurse laughed, exchanging a look with Raquel before putting the medicine and the serum in the nebulizer. "Ready for another round?"

"Yes," the boy nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay, I want you to do it like we did last time, keep an eye on the mask and tell me when the fog comes out..."

"Fog!" He pointed as soon as a mist started to come out of the mask.

"Okay, now you can put it on your face," the nurse instructed and Raquel helped him with the elastics around his head. The nurse looked at the adults. "There, you can call me to turn off the machine when it's over, okay?"

"Thank you," Raquel replied before she felt a small index finger poking her. 

"Nina?"

"Hi, mi amor," she turned to him with a smile. 

"Can I watch a movie on your phone?" He asked, his voice muffled by the nebulization.

"Sure," she got up and took the phone from her bag, unlocking it and choosing a streaming app before handing it to her godson. "Here."

While Cinci chose the movie he wanted to watch, Raquel looked at Sergio, sitting down in the armchair next to them, as he kept his eyes on them. Suddenly, a thought came into her head.

"Sergio, send a message to our group chat," she asked him. "Everyone must be worried..."

"Of course,” he said, taking his phone out of his pocket and tapping the screen a few times before typing a message. "Done," he said, putting his phone away again and looking at Raquel, who was still looking at Cinci with a stunned expression. "Hey…"

She looked at him with an embarrassed smile. 

"Sorry, I'm still a little scared," she confessed in a whisper.

"There's no need to apologize," Sergio replied quietly, extending his hand to her. "Come here," he asked, and she took his hand, walking over to the chair where he was sitting.

He moved sideways on the seat and Raquel sat there, placing her legs over his so they could take advantage of the shared chair space. He put an arm around her waist and pulled the long strands of her hair back, caressing her neck. She rested her forehead on his, taking a deep breath.

"I was scared too," he confessed, in a small voice, not wanting Cinci to hear him. 

Raquel looked at him and caressed his cheek and beard.

"Cariño..." She sighed, licking her lips. "Thank you." 

"What for?"

"For being able to calm me even though you were nervous too," she offered him a weak smile. "It's a gift, you know?"

"I've had many years of practice," he shrugged, squeezing her waist and bringing her even closer. 

Raquel looked at Cinci from the corner of her eye to see he was holding the nebulizer mask in one hand and her phone in the other, watching a film and completely oblivious to the whirlwind of emotions he had provoked in his godparents. 

She smiled and looked back at Sergio.

"My heart is still racing, feel this..." She pulled his hand and pressed his palm against her chest, at the height of the heart.

Sergio could feel her heartbeat fast and uneven, not unlike his. 

“Do you want me to get some tea? Water?" He asked, concerned.

"No, I just want to stay here with you two," she replied, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Stay here with me."

"Vale," he replied.

"Vale," Raquel echoed, pulling his face and pulling him against her chest, stroking his hair and neck while keeping her eyes on Cinci.

And like a mantra, she repeated to herself: Cinci is fine. Sergio is here. Cinci is fine. Sergio is here. Cinci is fine. Sergio is here.

_Spent some days with runaways_ _  
_ _With the lights out, it’s less dangerous_ _  
_ _You could kiss the lips of fate_ _  
_ _The less we know the less it drains us_

When they were released to go home, around three in the morning, Cinci was already asleep. Neither Sergio nor Raquel managed to sleep a wink for an instant, but at least they sat in the company and in the caresses they provided each other.

They were only fully relieved when they got into the car that would take them home. Raquel held Cinci on her lap at the back of the Uber, gently caressing his face, while Sergio had an arm around her shoulders. They got home about twenty minutes later and then Sergio picked Cinci up from her lap to take him up the stairs.

"Sergio..." Raquel called out softly for him before he could climb the first step. "Take him to our bed, okay?"

He nodded, smiling slightly at her. When she got to the room, Sergio was taking off Cinci's shoes and she didn't think twice about dropping her weight on the mattress, being careful not to make any noise, scooping up her godson in a snuggle.

Sergio smiled, walking around the bed to take off his glasses, placing it on the nightstand on his side of the bed, and lay down behind her and pulling the cover over the three of them. He buried his face in the curve of Raquel's neck, leaving a kiss there before resting his chin on her shoulder. He didn't have to ask to know that she was still awake.

"Raquel," he whispered, making her turn her head slightly in his direction. "You need to sleep." 

She stared at the lines she could make out in his face even in the darkness of the room.

"So do you," she replied, grazing her nose on his chin.

"I'll try if you try," he proposed, leaving a light kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Okay," she accepted, turning her head back on the pillow, finally allowing her body and mind to relax.

Sergio rested his lips on her shoulder, his body close to hers, an arm around her waist with his hand resting on Cinci's belly. Aware that the two most important people in his life were healthy and safe in his arms, he let his already heavy eyelids close.

However, he could still feel his girlfriend's state of alert. 

"Raquel," he murmured, without opening his eyes. 

"Hm?"

"Close your eyes."

She let out a little laugh and finally fulfilled her part of the agreement, closing her eyes as she felt Sergio's warm breath on her neck. She could feel Cinci's ribs expand and contract as he breathed normally. And then she concentrated on her own chest, inflating and deflating rhythmically. With the sound of their breaths almost synchronized, she gave herself up to sleep.

_Close your eyes and see it through_ _  
_ _Chaos comes and collects the youth_

 _I can feel the cold air when the night comes_ _  
_ _Heaven’s only wishful_

 _I can feel the cold air when the night comes_ _  
_ _Heaven’s only wishful_

_Sergio tried to see the hands of the clock on his wrist despite the darkness of the living room. It was after midnight and he still hadn't been able to sleep at all. He looked to the left, where Raquel seemed to be sleeping peacefully on the mattress beside him._

_Raquel's idea was well intentioned. Exactly two months ago, Sergio had received conclusive results from his exams: the experimental treatment had worked and he was officially cured of the autoimmune disease that had hijacked most of his childhood. Now, apart from follow-up visits and follow-up questionnaires from the experimental research, he was free to enjoy a normal pre-adolescence, whatever that meant._

_Each person around him seemed to have a different idea of what it meant. For his parents, it meant enrolling Sergio in the neighborhood school and exchanging the hospital bed in his room for a normal bed. For Andrés, it meant putting Sergio to run, riding a bicycle and learning to play soccer, the latter activity under protests from his younger brother. His mother particularly hated it too, still overly concerned about his health, but Andrés said he would not be around all the time to prevent Sergio from being the victim of humiliation by his colleagues. Something inside Sergio told him that, regardless of whether he knew what a defender does in the field, he would still be humiliated in school._

_For Raquel, it meant they could have a sleepover at her house for the first time. It wasn't just Raquel who was extremely excited about the idea. Mariví, who at that point already considered Sergio an extension of her daughter, was so concerned with making him feel cared for on his first night out that she insisted on making his favorite dish for dinner and her recipe for a_ tarta de Santiago _that she already knew was popular with the boy._

_Raquel also did her best to make him feel welcome: she made her father drag two mattresses into the living room and rented a movie that he always complained about her not wanting to watch (“One day we will need to do something about you never having seen 'Blade Runner'.”)._

_It did not help that he was a person of habit and the pillow under his head was very soft and that he had never slept outside the home in the 12 years of his life, except for the nights he had to stay in the hospital._

_And now, as he looked at the ceiling in Raquel's living room, he had the feeling that it was getting closer and closer and he was feeling more and more heat with each passing second and he could only think that he would wake up with the bed wet because of his sweat and that they probably wouldn't believe it was just that, sweat._

_Suddenly, he picked up his glasses and got up from the mattress, feeling his shallow breathing as he headed for the front door. Without thinking twice, he unlocked the door, being greeted by the night breeze. He took a deep breath and closed the door behind him, crossing the width of the porch and sitting on the first step of the stairs that led to the front garden._

_He was concentrating on bringing his breathing to a normal pace, watching the nocturnal activity of the cicadas and leaves and cats that ran around the neighbors' houses to chase insects and small rodents._

_He was just thinking about how the world seemed calmer at night when he was surprised by a familiar, if unexpected, voice._

_"Sergio?"_

_"Raquel," he exclaimed, placing his hand on his chest while looking at her. "You scared me."_

_"I woke up when I heard the door," she explained, walking towards the stairs to sit next to him and looking at him curiously, her eyes still swollen with sleep._

_"I'm sorry I woke you up," he looked back at the steps in front of him, feeling bad for waking up his friend._

_Raquel, however, continued to look at him, attentive to his countenance. "What are you doing out here?"_

_He shrugged. "I couldn't sleep…"_

_Sergio knew it was innocent of him to think that he could satisfy Raquel Murillo's curiosity with just three words._

_"Why?"_

_"I never slept out of my bedroom."_

_"I know..." She rolled her eyes. "Isn't that why we decided on a sleepover night?"_

_"Yes, but..." He stopped himself, exhaling heavily._

_Raquel tilted her head, giving him an affectionate look. "What is it?"_

_Sergio finally looked up from the floor and up at her. "Can I tell you a secret?"_

_She smiled, nodding. "Anything."_

_"Aren't you going to make fun of me?" He raised his eyebrows at her._

_"Of course not..." She replied. He paused, taking a deep breath, and she moved closer, anxious for his confession._

_"I... I don't know if I can sleep away from my family," he said, quickly, adjusting the glasses on his face nervously._

_She held back a laugh. "Sergio, your parents are sleeping right next door."_

_"Raquel!" He shot her an admonishing look._

_"Sorry, but it's true," she finally let out a small laugh and he turned his head away from her. She put her hand on his arm, afraid she might have hurt him. "Sergio..."_

_He looked at her hand resting over the sleeve of his pajama shirt. "What?"_

_"You're my best friend, you know that, right?"_

_Raquel smiled. It was not the first time she had said that to him. In fact, she had already confessed that she had trouble making real friends at school. She didn't have a lot of patience for the conversations the girls in her class seemed to like, but she also detested the boys – and she was pretty sure they were mostly terrified of her anyway._

_Sergio looked at her, his expression softened into a smile that proved he was proud of that credential. There were two things he longed for when it came to going to school: taking classes with teachers in a traditional classroom and sharing the day with Raquel. And if his colleagues humiliated him, as he and Andrés suspected they would, at least he was sure he had the affection and confidence of the only person who mattered._

_"You're my best friend too," he replied and she squeezed his arm, giving him a bright smile._

_"You know, mamá told me once that we have two types of family..." She paused, biting her bottom lip as if she was trying to remember Mariví's exact words. "The family we are born into and the family we choose."_

_He looked at her thoughtfully and was about to open his mouth when she straightened up and gave him a serious expression._

_"So, Sergio Marquina, I, Raquel Murillo, choose you as my family," she announced, with all the pompous pose she could muster, as if she were granting him an honorable title._

_He let out an incredulous laugh, frowning, but when she raised her eyebrows in response, he tilted his head. "Seriously?"_

_"Seriously," she nodded. “But you have to choose me, too. It cannot be one-sided.”_

_"Pues... I, Sergio Marquina, also choose you, Raquel Murillo, as my family," he said solemnly._

_"That means you can sleep here tonight," Raquel smiled proudly, standing up and extending her hand to him. "Come on, I'll be by your side."_

_He craned his neck to look at her. "Promise?"_

_"Promise."_

_Sergio smiled and took her hand. When they went to sleep, she moved her mattress close to his and was the first to cover herself, eager to go back to sleep._

_"Raquel…"_

_"What?" She asked, her eyes already closed._

_"This pillow is kind of soft," he admitted and she could imagine the grimace he was making as he said that._

_"Ugh," she lifted her head off her pillow and shoved it in his face with both hands. "Is this better?"_

_He pushed her away, grabbing the pillow from her hand and giving her an angry look as she laughed wholeheartedly._

_"Por Dios, Raquel," he opened his eyes wide, clutching the pillow in his hands to inspect it. “Well, this is better, yes. Wanna trade?"_

_Without answering him verbally, she pulled the pillow from under his head and took it for herself. He settled on his side, finally satisfied with his posture on the mattress. She rested her face on his shoulder and Sergio smiled._

_Maybe he could get used to this idea of a chosen family, after all._

_Someone said_ _  
_ _Each night I wonder_ _  
_ _Hoping to find meaning_ _  
_ _To the nights getting longer_ _  
_ _With luck I can break this feeling_

Raquel opened her eyes slowly. When she saw the blurry image of Cinci lying beside her, still sleeping and breathing calmly, she let out a small breath. It was then that she noticed the human warmth on her back was missing, turning on her back to look for Sergio.

She smiled, satisfied, when she saw that he was still lying beside her, apparently already bathed and with an open book in his hands. He looked at her, resting the book on the nightstand and smiling back, brushing aside a strand of unruly hair that had fallen over her face.

"Buen día, mi amor," Sergio whispered and hearing him call her the same way he used to call her when they were dating brought a series of memories to her still sleepy head.

She smiled, turning her body over on the bed and reaching for his hand. "Buen día, cariño." 

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, massaging her palm with his fingers.

"More or less, and you?"

"Same," he pulled her hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on each fingertip and Raquel felt a smile reach her entire face. How was it possible to love a person more and more with each passing day?

"Come here," she asked, using her free hand to pull the fabric of his shirt.

Sergio adjusted himself on the bed, lying down beside her, and, like a sloth, she draped a leg and an arm over him. He smiled, feeling her lips graze his neck, and he almost couldn't believe this was his new reality.

As if she were reading his mind, she lifted her head, leaning it on one hand and resting her elbow beside his face.

"Can I confess something?"

He looked at her, slightly apprehensive. "What?"

"When we first decided... to come and live with Cinci in this house..." She bit her lower lip, widening her eyes.

"Hm..."

"I wondered if we were crazy," she admitted. “I wondered if… after a while, we would realize we were being crazy. But you know what? After the first day we spent here, I had completely forgotten about that possibility.”

She slid her hand over his shoulders, caressing him lightly while waiting for his reaction, but he only managed to offer her a sad smile.

"Good," he adjusted his glasses on his face, taking a while before he could look at her. "Because it was very difficult to spend so much time away from you."

Raquel swallowed, her breath suddenly hitched. They had talked about many things over the past few days. They had talked about the relationship they had, the daughter they lost, the new relationship they were building – but she knew there was a part of him that still thought she could decide to leave at any time. She knew needed to do something – _anything_ – to let him know that there was no chance of that happening.

"Sergio... I'm sorry," she frowned, plaintively.

He looked at her, confused, shaking his head. "For what?"

"For leaving."

There was a pause and she could see that he was absorbing those words.

"Okay," he replied, slowly breathing out. “It was… it was a lot. What happened between us. You did what you needed to do.”

Raquel knew that he was being sincere, that he really thought that, but she thought it was not the time to be restrained. Yesterday, for a fraction of a second, she remembered that, before all this happened, Sergio was no longer in her life for years. Thinking about it now seemed _inconceivable_.

"You know I'm going to stay this time, don't you?" She asked and he nodded thoughtfully, but she put her hand on his face, making him look at her. "Sergio, I need you to know that – I'm not going _anywhere_ ," she continued. “I swear, I… I need you to have no doubts about this. Vale?"

He looked deep into her eyes this time, the corners of his lips curving into a smile. "Vale." 

She smiled back, bending down to give him a gentle kiss, which overflowed with affection.

Raquel pulled away slightly, opening her eyes, but her lips were still brushing his when she whispered, "Te amo."

"Te amo," he replied in an equivalent whisper.

She gave him another kiss before taking a deep breath. "How the hell did I spend twenty years without you?"

"I wonder the same thing.” 

"How did _I_ spend twenty years without you?" Raquel cocked her eyebrows, mocking him. 

"Well, that too," he laughed.

"I need you to promise me something," she said, the smile still plastered on her face. 

"Anything," he replied without hesitation.

She bit her lip, trying to keep her expression serious. "I don't want us to be apart ever ag–" 

"It's a promise," he said, before she even finished the sentence.

Raquel laughed. "You're sure?" 

"Completely sure."

“You know you can't go back, huh? Now you're stuck with me for the rest of your life,” she pressed her lips to his and gave him a warning look.

"I can't think of a better future," Sergio squeezed her waist, pulling her in for another kiss.

They spent some time like that, exchanging kisses and caresses in silence, until she pulled away a little, her lips parted like someone who wanted to say something.

He raised his eyebrows, understanding her immediately. "Hungry, eh?" 

"Sí," she laughed. 

"But you don't want to get up?"

She smiled, casting a sideway glance at Cinci, who was still sleeping peacefully. "I don't want him to wake up alone."

"Then we'll have breakfast in bed today," Sergio announced, leaving a kiss on her lips and getting up from the bed. "Stay here with him and I'll be right back."

Raquel looked at Cinci once again before she stretched out on the bed to get her phone. She took a look at the messages and smiled when she saw that Sergio had sent detailed messages about all the hospital procedures and Cinci's release in their group chat with their friends. Equally relaxed from the scare, everyone was already asking when they could schedule a barbecue at their new home to celebrate this new stage in their lives.

She pondered this, contemplating the fact that, indeed, they were entering a whole new stage of their lives. Together. She looked at her godson again, thinking of something his psychologist once said. After a trauma, what Cinci needed most was the assurance that the life he now had was stable.

She thought about it for a few more minutes, until Sergio showed up with a tray of breakfast for the two of them - two cups of coffee, two bowls of fruit and yogurt, toasts and scrambled eggs. 

She smiled, feeling especially lucky to be able to share her life with him.

“You know, cariño… I had an idea,” she said, purposefully considering him as she drank from her coffee. "Tell me what you think." 

_Life and its horrors_ _  
_ _Oh, there’s no getting out_ _  
_ _Don’t tempt these vultures_

 _Oh, who are circling round and round_ _  
_ _Don’t be the reason_

 _Close your eyes and see it through_ _  
_ _Chaos comes and collects the youth_

After breakfast and the agreement they reached, Sergio lay down again in bed with his book while Raquel took her morning shower. When she returned, she lay down beside him again, hugging him while he continued to read from his book and caressed her arm.

Cinci didn't wake up for a few more hours, still exhausted from the night before, and Raquel took advantage of the moments of silence to sleep a little longer in Sergio's arms. She awakened after twenty minutes and was absently reading passages from the book that Sergio was holding in his hands, when the boy woke up beside them, kneeling on the bed and scratching his eyes while looking at the two adults.

"Good morning, mi amor," Raquel greeted him, extending a hand in his direction.

The little one made his way towards them, still sleepy, and lay on top of her for a few minutes, enjoying the caresses of the two adults. It always took him a while to fully wake up and it didn't take long for him to sit on top of his godmother, looking at them with some expectation.

"I'm hungry," he declared, causing Raquel to laugh under him. 

"Well, it's almost lunchtime, sleepyhead," Sergio replied.

"What do you say we go out to have lunch outside, huh?" Raquel asked, raising her eyebrows. 

"Pizza!" The boy suddenly got up on the bed, jumping up and down. "I want to eat pizza!"

"Cinci, don't jump so much, you can run out of breath," she replied, worried, sitting on the bed to pull her godson down on the mattress and tickle his belly.

"But can we eat pizza?" He pouted, a begging look on his face like Shrek's Puss in Boots. It was amazing how he had Dani's charm and Món's sweetness.

"Only if I can have olives on it," Raquel said and he made a disgusted face.

“Ewww. I want mine without olives,” he announced. "You can put olives on your side." 

"Let's take a shower and get ready then?" Sergio proposed, taking his godson in his lap.

Raquel could not describe the feeling of relief when she saw that not only Cinci was well, but he did not even seem to properly compute the fact that he had spent so many hours in a hospital emergency room. They were just finishing their last slices of pizza in a restaurant three blocks from home when she looked at Sergio, raising her eyebrows purposefully. He nodded and she offered him a small smile of encouragement.

“Cinci…” Sergio caught the attention of his godson, who was squeezing a sachet of ketchup on top of his pizza slice, but then looked up at his godfather. "We wanted to talk to you about... about the possibility of having another family member."

“Dios mio,” Raquel muttered almost imperceptibly, putting a hand to her forehead, not believing what she was hearing. Maybe she should have started the subject, after all.

Accurate like clockwork, Cinci made the logical leap _anyone_ would make with that poorly worded sentence and frowned in their direction.

"Are you going to have a baby?!"

"No, we–" Sergio choked on his own saliva and Raquel had to hold back her laugh. "Er, um, Raquel?"

"We were talking about a dog... or a cat..." She explained.

Then the little boy's eyes lit up and he celebrated by waving his fists. “Yaaaaayyyy!!"

She smiled. "Would you like that?" 

"Yes!"

"You know, Cinci, having a pet is a big responsibility," Sergio explained.

"Yes, it's giving food, baths, medicine, cleaning its poo and pee, educating it, playing with it... Even taking a walk, if it is a dog," Raquel continued.

The boy looked at them both thoughtfully. "Like you both do to me." 

Raquel laughed and nodded.

"Well... yes," Sergio smiled. "You're right." 

"And just like we do with you, we'll have to take care of this pet for the rest of its life," she added. “It's an important decision. Only you can know if you're ready.”

Cinci paused for a moment, contemplating their observations.

"I'm ready," he assuredly decided, putting the last piece of pizza in his mouth and chewing it as he continued to think it over. He looked up at them both again, anxious. "But you will help me, right?"

"Yes," Raquel confirmed, shaking her head. "Of course, mi amor."

"When are we going to choose?" He wiped his mouth clean with a paper napkin, his eyes widening. "Can it be now?"

"Well..." She looked at Sergio, who shrugged, smiling. "I don't see why not."

_I can feel the cold air when the night comes_ _  
_ _Heaven’s only wishful_

 _I can feel the cold air when the night comes_ _  
_ _Heaven’s only wishful_

When Raquel had suggested to Sergio the idea of adopting a pet for them, she knew that he would initially be hesitant. The idea of hairs scattered everywhere was not the most promising for the habits of compulsory cleaning that Sergio had, but she decided to stick to logical arguments.

First, growing up in a home with a pet would strengthen Cinci's immune system and this would lower the risk of making his allergies and asthma worse; second, a little animal would certainly help to ease the anxiety and sadness they could still feel in Cinci; third, it has been scientifically proven that children with pets show more advanced impulsivity control, social skills and self-esteem. She knew that the term "scientifically proven" would get his attention.

All of this was true, of course. However, there was an additional reason hidden from Raquel's arguments and it had nothing to do with Cinci. She hoped that the suggestion, and the eventual decision, to adopt a pet together would also serve as a demonstration of what she had told him earlier, that they were in this _together_ , that there was no chance of her leaving.

They thought the trip to the animal shelter would take longer than it did. On the way there, Cinci had already decided that they would adopt a dog and after receiving instructions on how to behave in the kennel by the volunteer who attended them, it wasn't long before the boy had his attention taken by a long-haired dog in a coppery color, which according to the girl was around 3 months old. It was beautiful, it looked like a hybrid of a mixed-breed and a Golden Retriever.

The dog had approached Cinci through the fence that separated them, sniffing his hand. When the hatch was opened so that they could meet, the dog gave an enthusiastic lick on the little boy's chin and cheek, who started laughing and petting him as the dog happily celebrated the attention it received.

And so they returned home with a dog weighing almost 10 kilos in tow, named Choco for its color that, according to Cinci, seemed like a caramel chocolate bar.

It was hard for Sergio to admit out loud that he was satisfied – especially after the three of them got wet from head to toe when giving the puppy a bath and it appeared to be so happy and curious about its new surroundings that it didn't stop in one place – but he smiled while he saw his godson running across the grass with his new company, throwing the dog a plastic toy they bought at a store nearby.

Raquel seemed to notice what was going through his head, coming up behind him and hugging him, her hands caressing his bare belly and chest – she had made him take off the wet blouse that bothered him so much under the argument that “the afternoon was too hot anyway”. She left a chaste kiss on his back before pressing her face against his skin, tightening her arms around him, and he turned his head slightly, his smile even bigger than it had been a few seconds ago. It occurred to him that everything in his life was better when she was around.

He let his hands slide over hers, in a vain attempt to make their bodies merge.

"Raquel?" He bit his lip thoughtfully.

"Hmm?" Without having to face him, she could perfectly imagine his frown in a concentrated expression, just by the tone of his voice and the way his posture had become a little straighter under her embrace. 

"Did you imagine that someday... all of this would happen?" She contemplated the question in silence for a moment.

"You mean... us?" She asked, seeking confirmation from him to which part of the ‘all of this’ he was referring to. When he nodded, she let out a small breath slowly, carefully measuring her words. "Definitely not the way it did, but..."

She let go of him, her hand sliding down his lower back as she circled him, just so she could face him. Or, at least, so she could hang her head back as she looked up at him, throwing her arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist.

"I think everything happens for a reason," she shrugged gently, running her tongue over her lips before biting her lower lip, giving him a tender look. "Don't you think?"

He smiled, nodding. He took one of his hands to her hair, placing a lock of hair behind her ear and lightly caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"Sometimes new beginnings are disguised as sad endings," he declared, quietly, alternating between looking into her eyes and her lips. 

Raquel tilted her head slightly. She understood perfectly well what he was saying. And yet, she couldn't help but smile. She also recognized perfectly well where that phrase came from.

"Sergio..." She bit her lip again, trying to contain a laugh. "Did you just quote Lao Tzu?" 

Sergio, for his part, was unable to contain the laugh that came out of his throat. "I did... Yes."

Smiling, she rose on her tiptoe to brush the tip of her nose against his.

"I told you once that we're family," she said quietly, her warm breath reverberating on his lips. "And here we are."

He slid his fingertips along her lower back, their gazes fixed on each other. "You never stopped being my family, Raquel."

Her eyes lit up when he answered that, satisfied that even today they didn't need to say much to understand each other.

Suddenly, she felt her chest fill with a fervent sensation. In front of her was her best friend, the first man she fell in love with, the man who after so long still seemed to occupy the same place in her heart. And as she watched his features so closely, she could only remember what she had said to him a few weeks ago. They had already wasted too much time.

She couldn't help herself. She didn't want to stop herself.

She raised her eyebrows suggestively. "How about we make it official?"

Raquel laughed when she saw him widen his eyes. Sergio searched her face for any hesitation, any sign that she was joking, any reaction that said it wasn't what she wanted to say – but all he found was an amused smile and a loving look at the same time she was sewing his hair with her fingers.

"You mean…?" He tried to confirm, verbally, what she had suggested.

"I don't know," she lifted a shoulder, a smile still dancing in the corner of her mouth. "You need to ask me first."

He laughed, clutching her waist with his hands, bringing her even closer to his body. 

"Vale," he replied, nodding.

She did the same, pulling him in for a kiss, but not before whispering on her lips, "Vale."

At that moment, fitting their lips together and deepening the kiss, the two were sure that, even though all the rationality and philosophy they shared did not make them believe in the abstract idea of destiny, that was what they were one for each other. Not by chance, but because the certainty of having each other was what anchored them to reality. It had always been like that.

Perhaps it was chance. Perhaps it was luck. Perhaps it was just inevitable. And that, even in seven reincarnations, they could not explain.

_Some say_   
_You’re the reason, I_   
_Feel this way_

_Some say_   
_You’re the reason_   
_You’re the reason_   
_You’re the reason_


	16. Pasado

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves ❤️
> 
> Here we are to the first of the extra chapters... This is a compilation of flashbacks but I'll leave you guys to it 🥰
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Weight, by Alexz Johnson, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_History repeats  
_ _It keeps you on your feet  
_ _The faster it goes  
_ _It keeps you on your toes_

 _It's told  
_ _Shillings  
_ _And keeping all these things  
_ _Will just weigh you down  
_ _Until you're underground_  
  


**_Madrid, 1991_ **

Raquel had woken up thirty minutes earlier than usual that morning. Even Mariví was surprised when she saw her, ready to go to school, take her place at the breakfast table, much more excited than she normally was in the minutes before leaving home.

In fact, that was Sergio's first day at her school, in the same class as her, and she had scheduled to meet him by the sidewalk so they could ride together on their bicycles. To say that Raquel was happy was an understatement – she was euphoric, because ever since she met Sergio, just over a year ago, she dreamed of that moment.

First, because it would mean that he was in fact _healthy_ and ready to have a normal life; and secondly, because in that very short time as his neighbor, Raquel became attached to him in a way that she had not yet been able to attach to any of her classmates.

It was different with him. Sergio was very smart for a 12 year old boy and, more than that, he was _witty_. He challenged Raquel intellectually, they taught each other something new all the time and she always felt energized when they were together. And, on the other hand, Raquel made Sergio laugh and instead of judging him for everything he had failed to do during his childhood, she invented ways to make him live each new experience or, when that was not possible, she would spend long minutes describing each one of them in as detailed as she could.

Raquel had agreed to meet with Sergio thirty minutes before class started, so they could ride slowly – after all, Sergio had only managed to learn how to ride a bicycle a few months before that – and, arriving at school, she would take a walk with him, showing where everything was – although Sergio had assured her that she didn't need to do any of that.

Five minutes before the appointed time, Raquel left her house while putting on her helmet and smiled when she realized that Sergio was already waiting for her at their agreed upon place of meeting. Sergio smiled back at her, waving at her.

"Good morning," he said, his eyes closing behind his glasses as his smile expanded.

"Good morning!" Raquel replied, beaming as always. Then she took a look at the clothes he was wearing and raised her eyebrows at him.

"What?" Sergio asked, suddenly hyper aware of the jeans he was wearing and his green long-sleeved shirt. He thought he had followed her instructions – simple and casual clothes, _if you don’t want to go wrong, wear jeans and a shirt_.

“You are not supposed to tuck the shirt inside your pants, Sergio,” she tried to suppress a laugh and kicked the support of her bicycle, letting it stand beside his before approaching him, pulling his shirt from inside his trousers’ waistband.

Sergio had to hold his breath when he realized that she was so close or when he felt her arms circling his waist and her fingertips unconsciously grazed his back.

"There," she decided, giving him a proud nod. "You’re ready?"

He finally released the breath he was holding and nodded. It was not the first time that he was so close to Raquel and he could not understand why, at times, it was so difficult to be physically close to her. Raquel was one of the few people in the world with whom he felt comfortable, so that made no sense. Sergio decided that he was probably nervous for his first day of school and, as they rode together to school, he continued to talk to her normally.

Everything was going well. In fact, it had been a great day.

Sergio discovered that he loved being in classrooms, that his school had a library with a very good selection of books, that Raquel was a girl who, despite not belonging to the group of popular girls, was very easygoing with their classmates, from the prissy girls to the nerds, from the jocks to the punks. Sergio thought about how amazing it was that everyone seemed to like her, despite what she had told him, but he didn't find that one bit surprising.

Before returning home, Raquel asked Sergio to wait outside for her because she had forgotten to get the geometry book out of her locker. Sergio was leaning against one of the external pillars, watching the movement of children passing by and, for the first time, feeling like one more of them. A _normal_ child.

Then his thoughts were interrupted.

“Hey,” a boy who appeared to be his age, with a round face and a slightly threatening expression, seemed to be walking in his direction.

Sergio looked from side to side, uncertain if the interjection was, in fact, towards him.

"I’m talking to you," the boy exclaimed, seeming to read his mind, and suddenly he was invading Sergio's personal space – and only _one_ person outside his family could do that. "Marquina, eh?"

“I…” Sergio choked on his own words. He had never seen this boy before, how the hell did he know who Sergio was?

“You are Andrés' sick brother,” the boy practically spat out, making Sergio bring his back even closer to the pillar.

"I'm not sick anymore," Sergio replied, quietly.

"A friend of mine said he went to your house once and spent a week in bed when he returned."

Sergio frowned at the boy, who was his height but considerably larger than him. He was nervous – his mind would not stop racing, thinking of ways he could get out of there.

"What I had was not contagious," he tried to explain, but soon the boy's arm was against his throat, preventing him from breathing.

"You know what I think? I think they shouldn't even let you come to school,” the boy announced loudly, calling the attention of some classmates who passed by but did nothing to keep him from Sergio. “You’re probably a leper—”

Before he could finish the sentence, Sergio closed his eyes and heard a loud noise. He waited for the pain to come, believing the boy had punched him, but when a few milliseconds had passed and it didn't, he opened his eyes again to see him standing far away, with his hand on the back of his head.

In front of Sergio, a good twenty centimeters shorter than him, Raquel was standing with her hardcover geometry book in hand, looking defiantly – with a raised eyebrow and all – at the boy who was cursing her copiously.

"Instead of harassing people you don't know, how about you go study so you don't fail again, Arturo?" She smiled, cynical, pulling Sergio by the hand right after. "Forget him, Sergio, he's an asshole."

Sergio knew he should be, in part, grateful. However, that was not exactly what he felt. Raquel realized that he was very quiet on the way home and when they reached their street and jumped off their bicycle to walk a little more slowly, she finally had the courage to say something.

"I don't understand why you're upset with me," she said, a sad expression on her face.

He turned to face her, rather seriously. "I am not upset with you."

"And why didn't you say anything all the way home?"

Sergio shrugged and let out a long breath.

"Because... because I'm ashamed," he admitted, looking at the front wheel of his bike that was spinning against the asphalt.

"Ashamed?"

"Raquel, I don't want to need your protection," Sergio said, perhaps too harshly.

"Well, then, learn to defend yourself, Sergio," she replied in the same tone. Then she let out a small breath, regaining her patience with her friend and giving him a more peaceful look. "Be your own bodyguard with glasses," she added, giving him a playful wink.

It was Sergio's turn to let out a breath. "I don't believe in violence, you know that."

"It was just a book smashed on his head," she rolled her eyes, not understanding what the big question was. " _Mira_ , you don't have to be violent, the _threat_ of violence is enough."

"Por Dios, Raquel, you sound like those film noir detectives talking like that," Sergio shook his head, his eyes widened as he looked at her.

Raquel, however, just smiled, proudly. “Inspector Raquel Murillo, at your service.”

To that, he finally responded with a smile and they fell into a comfortable silence as they approached their homes.

"You didn't have to do this for me," Sergio said, quietly, shortly after they stopped to secure their bikes to the fence in front of their houses.

She smiled as she looked at him, taking the helmet off her head.

"You would do it for me, wouldn't you?"

Sergio nodded without hesitation. "Yes."

"So there you go," she decided, still smiling. "I'm not going to let anyone make fun of you, that's my job," she continued, pleased that the two were resolved. "Even less so if it comes from an idiot like Arturo, did you know that in the third grade he would eat his boogers?"

“Ew,” he made a disgusted face and Raquel laughed.

" _Exactly_ ," she made a face of her own as Sergio took the helmet off his head. "Your house or mine?"

Every day during the school year, the two met after lunch to study together and, after finishing their homework, they would spend the rest of their afternoon playing a game or watching a movie.

"Yours," Sergio replied quickly. "I’m sure my mom won't stop talking about the first day of school."

She laughed, putting a lock of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear.

"Until after lunch then," she said, opening the front gate of her home.

"See you," he replied, but before he could move, he called out to her again. "Raquel?"

She immediately turned to him. "Hmm?"

"Thank you," said Sergio, smiling gratefully at her.

Raquel narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head, trying to hide a smile. "I’ll accept your thanks in the form of _galletas_."

  
  


_Nothing left to take it out on  
_ _Nothing left to take it out on  
_ _It's for show  
_ _I know_

  
  


**_Madrid, 1994_ **

Sergio did not know what to do.

It had been ten minutes since she was sitting at the foot of his bed, her gaze lost somewhere on the rug. He supposed it was better than she was before that – when he opened the door to his house, she was crying and threw herself into his arms with a strength he did not know. She sobbed on his shoulders for long minutes, soaking his shirt, but he didn't care.

"He's gone, Sergio," she stammered, between heavy, even breaths. Then Sergio tightened his arms around her even more. Her father had been hospitalized for a few weeks, but the last news he had, before Raquel rushed to the hospital, was that his liver was compromised.

As they stood by the door, it took some time for her to get away from Sergio long enough for him to propose that the two of them go to his bedroom. Sergio's mother watched the two from a distance and gave her son a slight nod as they went up the stairs. No mother likes to see a child, hers or someone else's, suffer like that, and Raquel was almost like a daughter to her too. However, she preferred to respect the girl's personal space and leave her with her best friend, the person she counted on for absolutely everything from study sessions and movie marathons to spending hours lying on the grass in the backyard talking and laughing.

Raquel always brought life to every place she arrived at. It was as if she filled every corner of a space with light, illuminating all the faces present with a smile, and the sound of her laughter reverberated through the acoustics of every room. It was strange to see her withered, without her usual smile on her face, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Sitting in his bed, Raquel had been in absolute silence for ten minutes, not moving, her eyes still red, swollen and full of tears.

In all these years of friendship, he had never seen Raquel like this. She was the strongest person he knew, as if she were both a castle and her own rampart, a fortress made of smiles and positive thoughts. He was always proud to say that to her. At that moment, he felt lost. She was the one who guided him, like a compass that showed him the right path to follow.

Taking a deep breath, he decided that the best he could do was show her that he would be there with her, lost in the fog with her for as long as she needed to be there. So he knelt between his friend's legs, holding her hands between his and seeking her look with some concern.

"Hey," he whispered softly, squeezing her hands slightly. Raquel let her gaze fall on him and only then realized that his eyes were also full of tears.

Sergio felt his eyes burn, at the same time that a hot tear ran down his left cheek.

In silence, Raquel lifted her hand and ran her thumb over his cheek, wiping his single tear gently.

"Sorry," he stammered, cursing himself internally. He was supposed to be strong _for her_.

She shook her head, trying to convince him that it wasn't a problem.

After a pause, she finally managed to speak.

"When I got there, he was already dead," she said, her voice choked with sadness. "I... I walked over to hold his hand, but it was already getting cold."

Sergio didn't take his eyes off her for a second, not even when her gaze was lost among all the familiar details of his room.

"I told him that I loved him and that I was going to miss him..." She continued, tears falling down her face again. "But I know he didn't hear me."

He swallowed, lifting himself up on his knees to get on her eye level.

"Raquel..." He called to her, taking her face in his hands. She looked at him as she tried to stop herself from crying further. "He knew. _He knew_."

She nodded, her brows furrowed.

"Or do you think he would forget the musical performances that you and Laura put on for his birthdays?" Sergio reminded her, drawing out a small smile from her lips. "Although remembering Laura's version of _Oh Daddy_ brings me chills to this day," he teased.

That year, the girls chose to sing songs by Fleetwood Mac, one of their father's favorite bands. Raquel opted for _Landslide_ , while Laura ended up choosing _Oh Daddy_ , to everyone's surprise. Sergio, Raquel and Andrés couldn't stop teasing Laura because she really believed that song was about a relationship between father and children.

Raquel laughed and, when she needed air, took a deep breath and let her forehead lean against Sergio's gently, eyes drooping in her lap. He stroked her face affectionately.

"Come here," he pulled her into a hug and she closed her eyes when she felt his hands slide down and up her back and into her hair.

Raquel hid her face in his shirt again and took a deep breath. That woody smell that belonged to Sergio, so familiar, so sweet, so strong – that was a comfort. She thought about how, that night, she would have to sleep in her house for the first time knowing that her father would not return and the thought brought a shiver down her spine.

"Sergio..." She called him out, leaning back to look at him, her hands still playing with the fabric of the cotton shirt he was wearing. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course," he agreed, stroking her knee before getting up, determined. "I'm going to get the inflatable mattress and–"

"No, please," she took his hand, preventing him from moving away. She looked at him, her amber-colored irises hidden across an ocean. "Just hold me?" She asked in a weak voice. "I don't want to sleep alone."

Sergio nodded and offered her a small smile.

"Move over," he said, pulling the covers off so they could lie on the mattress. She waited for him to lie on the pillows and then moved to hug him, her head resting against his chest, where she could hear his heartbeat, and his arm around her waist, pulling her close.

He pulled the covers over them, hiding them up to their heads as if they were refugees from the world. Raquel smiled when she realized that there, in the darkness under Sergio's comforter, there were just the two of them, together, away from everything else.

He began to caress her hair, to which she was immensely grateful. She spent a few minutes in silence just enjoying the gesture, but her mind continued at a pace of a thousand miles per hour.

"Tell me something," she asked, suddenly.

Sergio frowned. "About what?"

"I don't know, you're the walking encyclopedia," she shrugged, tightening her arms around his torso. "Distract me a little."

"Pues..." It took him a few seconds to think of something interesting to tell her. “Did you know that domestic cats became popular in Ancient Egypt in 1500 before the Common Era? That was when the goddess Bastet started to become known as a symbol of fertility and protection,” he explained, slowly.

Sergio's voice, his perfume, the darkness of that refuge where they had hidden in, everything seemed to make Raquel relax more and more. Her sobs ceased, although her eyes remained moist with tears, and with her breathing becoming more and more steady and calm, she decided to close her eyes to listen to him.

“Legend says that Bastet fled to a desert in Nubia in a fit of fury and hid in the form of a lioness, but Onúris and Thoth, Ra’s sons, found her and managed to convince her to return. On the way back, she bathed in the water of the Philae Temple and her anger dissipated and she became a cat,” he continued. “Then she went down the Nile River until she reached a sacred place, where she decided to stay. Since then, the place has become known as Bubastis, which means ‘the city of the cat’.”

When Sergio finished speaking, he realized that Raquel was breathing calmly in his chest. She had fallen asleep. He continued to caress her hair, stroking her back, and even though he fell asleep shortly afterwards, he woke up with any movement she made, fearing that she was waking up as well. But Raquel slept all night in his arms, holding him as if she were a boat in a stormy sea and he was her own anchor.

  
  


_You will see  
_ _Come clean off on me  
_ _And maybe someday  
_ _I will come take your breath away  
_ _I will come take your breath away  
_ _I will come take your breath away_

  
  


**_Madrid, 1995_ **

Raquel had managed to convince Sergio to go with her to a _party_ . Not only that, she had managed to convince Sergio to _enjoy the night_. To drink cheap tequila, share drinks with her, be in the same room with all the people she knew he didn't like. Perhaps she took advantage of her knowledge of him a little more than she should to convince him, but at that moment, seeing him with a large smile – her favorite smile of his, the one so big that made his eyes disappear behind his thick-rimmed glasses – she couldn't feel bad about it.

On the contrary, seeing him so relaxed, so light, laughing... Raquel felt as if her heart could expand inside her chest and something seemed to click in her mind at that moment, like the jigsaw pieces of a puzzle that finally fit together. Did he always look at her _like that_?

Before she could respond to herself mentally, she felt a sharp pain in her back, like an elbow had hit her, and was pushed against her friend, spilling all the drink she was holding in his shirt, the empty plastic cup falling to the floor soon after. The next thing she noticed were Sergio's large hands on her waist, reversing their position and supporting her with her back against the wall of the living room.

"Are you okay?" His voice, muffled by the loud music, had his characteristic concerned tone.

"Yes," she replied, straightening her spine and trying to forget the pain in the middle of her back. "Sorry, I got you all wet," Raquel unconsciously reached out, sliding her hand on the wet part of Sergio's shirt.

She didn't understand how the simple gesture of touching him, something she had done _hundreds_ of times over the course of their friendship, suddenly made her aware of how close he was – and how much closer she would like him to be.

"No problem," Sergio shrugged, smiling, as she dared to look at him again. She hadn't noticed that a lock of hair had fallen on her face until he put it behind her ear calmly.

She felt a shiver run down her spine when they looked at each other and maybe that was when she realized for the first time that things had changed and that nothing would be the same between them. He looked at her _just like that_ , as if she were the only thing that existed, his lips parted as if a confession could come out of them at any moment. A sweet bonfire seemed to build up between her ribs, just below her heart.

Slowly, she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips against his. When she pulled away and looked for any reaction from him, he came closer to her again, pressing his lips against hers and Raquel felt that she could come undone right there, her body against his, the kiss deepening as she stroked his hair and the nape of his neck and felt his hands going up and down her back.

Part of Raquel wanted to laugh, because she couldn't believe this was the same Sergio who, in sixth grade, had given her a forty minute speech about how kisses were unhygienic. However, at that moment, nothing in that situation was funny, because Sergio leaned her against the wall and pressed his body against hers and started to explore her mouth with his tongue as if their lips were made at a perfect fit for each other.

When they finally pulled away, minutes later, they both shared a breathless look, their lips swollen and their pupils dilated, staring at each other with a mixture of desire and surprise. They spent some time in silence and all Raquel could concentrate on was Sergio's fingertips softly caressing her face.

It was then that Laura and Andrés' classmates started shouting for any random reason and Raquel grimaced at the same time that Sergio muttered a very low curse, making her laugh right away.

"Hey," she called out, pulling the fabric off his shirt. “I’m tired of this party. Take me home?"

Sergio smiled and nodded in silence. As they left the party holding hands late into the night, neither of them could avoid the silly smiles on their faces. It took twice as long as it normally would take to get home because they stopped in every possible place to kiss each other again. It was not the first time that Sergio wished he could control the laws of physics, but he was sure that if he could stop time, he would make that night last forever.

_The farther that you go is feeling like work  
_ _Heart beating on your shirt  
_ _Nothing left to take it out on  
_ _Nothing left to take it out on_

It had been exactly two weeks since they had kissed for the first time. In the days that followed, Sergio did not know exactly what to do, so he preferred to observe how Raquel would react and follow the flow of things, whatever flow she established.

He quickly realized that she continued to treat him the same as always, with the intimacy of the years of friendship they had built; that she seemed to be more likely to give him longer displays of affection and that now and then she felt comfortable to initiate a kiss. Sergio tried to establish the parameters in which this happened and all he noticed was that they were always circumstances in which they were alone and rarely when they were studying.

As much as he didn't want to pressure her into anything, he was deeply confused about what was going on between them. That Friday, when she asked him to go to the movies, he felt nervous. Then she declared that her parents were going to a charity dinner and asked if she could sleep at his house afterwards and he understood that their movie night would fall into the _friends_ category. Despite feeling a twinge of disappointment, he was a little more relaxed.

They had decided to watch _Frankenstein_ and as much as Raquel tried to convince him she was _fine_ , she spent several scenes in the film leaning against Sergio and hiding her face on his shoulder or holding his hand, especially in the most violent scenes. He tried to suppress, at all times, the cold breeze that surged in his belly every time she touched him.

When the film finally ended, Raquel still had her head against Sergio's shoulder, her arm entwined with his. He waited for her to walk away from him once the credits started rolling, but she just turned to face him in the dark of the movie theater.

"What?" He looked at her, embarrassed.

Raquel smiled and, without answering him, pulled him in for a slow kiss. They stayed there until the last musical note of the final credits played, exchanging kisses and caresses, and once again Sergio wished he could extend the time they were together.

When they left the movie theater, they started talking about the film and he smiled when he realized that she did not hesitate to hold his hand as they walked back home. It was only when they reached the gate to his house that Sergio noticed the growing panic that was taking over his mind.

What did that mean? Did anything change between them or didn't it change anything? What if the next day she changed her mind? What if she repented? Or worst of all: what if it ruined their friendship?

Raquel must have felt his body stiffen or his hand starting to sweat cold, because she stopped in front of him, shooting him a curious look.

Sergio swallowed, unsure of what she was expecting from him.

"Good night," he said, giving her a peck on the lips.

"Good night?" Raquel frowned. "I thought I was going to sleep over at your place today."

Sergio's eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and confusion. “Pues… If you… I didn't know if… It's just that... before…”

" _Sergio_ ," she interrupted him before he could enter the spiral of justifications that she already knew were just the result of his anxiety.

She rested a hand against his chest, at his heart level, casting him a loving look. Maybe he needed time to recharge, sometimes he was like that when he left the house for a long period of time or had a lot of social interactions throughout the day. She had known him long enough to know that.

"No problem. I can go home,” she smiled, looking at him tenderly before starting to walk away.

"Raquel, no..." He held her hand against his chest, pulling her back against him. "Don’t go."

She began to stroke his chest with her fingertips, feeling the cotton fabric of his shirt slide under her skin and looking up at him fondly.

"Are you sure?" She asked him, her voice low and husky.

Sergio held her face in his hands, leaning in to press his lips against hers. He pulled her face in for a slow kiss, as he had discovered she liked, making sure they enjoyed every second.

When he pulled away and opened his eyes, she still had her eyes closed. Gradually, she opened her eyelids to look at him affectionately.

"Vale," she whispered, showing a smile that could light up the sky on any new moon night.

He smiled back at her. "Vale."

They found Sergio's parents in the living room when they entered the house and greeted them quickly before going up to his room. Sergio closed the door and the two stood looking at each other for a few moments, before Raquel climbed on his bed and covered herself as she usually did. He followed her, lying by her side and covering himself, but before he could think of saying anything to her, she pulled him in and kissed him again.

Sergio responded to the kiss, still on alert mode. Kissing Raquel on his bed was a _completely_ new circumstance.

"Raquel..." He tried to say her name more firmly, to get her attention, but ended up dragging the last vowel when she bit his left ear lobe.

"Hmm?" She murmured, still distracted by the kisses she was leaving on his neck.

Sergio had to concentrate to ask what he really wanted. He knew he needed to take advantage of it while he felt the courage to bring up that subject.

"This– this is not going to ruin our friendship, is it?"

It was then that Raquel pulled away to look him in the eye and, even in the dark, he knew she was frowning at him.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused, but her hand was still on the back of his neck, stroking his hair. He thanked her internally for that.

"I don't know," he stammered. "It's just... I don't know exactly how these things work," he confessed. “Please, don't get me wrong, I… I really want this. It's just… I don't want this to ruin anything between us. You… you are very important to me.”

Raquel listened to him carefully. So _that_ was why he was nervous these past few weeks. Suddenly, it all made sense and she wanted to shake his head to see if he would finally realize that she wanted this as much as he did.

Instead, she let out a breath and continued to caress his hair.

"Sergio, do you want to be with me?"

He let out a small laugh, as if he was incredulous she had the audacity to ask that question.

"All the time," he admitted, in a low voice.

Raquel smiled, getting a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach when she heard that answer.

"And..." She bit her bottom lip, bringing her body closer to his under the covers. "Do you want to keep kissing me?"

"A lot," he replied, his breathing faltering now that she slid her nails into the collar of his shirt.

"Well, me too," she said, giving him a light peck on the lips. "So maybe we can try a different way of defining things between us."

"What do you mean?"

Sergio needed a definition. A word, a format, a terminology that defined that new step in their relationship.

She knew he needed it, but she wanted to hear the words come out of his mouth. She decided, then, that the best way to do that would be to get him off his axis. After all, Raquel was an expert at getting Sergio out of his comfort zone.

"Don’t you want to date me?" She asked, suddenly, and there was a moment during which he had to take a deep breath to absorb what she had said.

" _You want to date me?_ " Sergio repeated the phrase in an incredulous tone, as if he wanted to be sure of what he had heard.

“Pues sí, thanks for asking. The answer is yes,” Raquel replied, laughing, giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

Sergio smiled, but spent some time searching her face for any sign that she was joking.

"En serio?" He sought confirmation once more.

"En serio, Sergio," she said, pulling him in for another slow kiss.

After some long minutes, she rested her head on his chest, snuggling him in what would quickly become her new favorite position in bed – sleeping on top of him, with his arms supporting her around the waist and caressing her hair.

Sergio watched her in silence for a few minutes as the moonlight coming in through the window made her skin glow.

It was as if Raquel was the brightest celestial body that Sergio had ever seen and, at that moment, he decided that he would be in her orbit as long as she allowed him to. Until either he burned or until they both merged into something entirely new – whichever came first.

_Oh, Lordy!  
_ _You will see  
_ _Come clean off on me  
_ _And maybe someday  
_ _I will come take your breath away_  
 _I will come take your breath away  
_ _I will come take your breath away_


	17. Navidad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola, amores ❤️
> 
> This was originally posted on Christmas, a snippet of this lovely family's first one together 🥰  
> I hope you guys like it!
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Gente Aberta, originally from Erasmo Carlos in a version by the project Acorda Amor, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Eu não quero mais conversa  
_ _Com quem não tem amor  
_ _Gente certa é gente aberta  
_ _Se o amor me chamar  
_ _Eu vou_

**December 24th**

“HOCUS POCUS TAIL OF A POSSUUUUUM!” Cinci shouted, running around the house wearing, over his clothes, a black cape with red lining, a black top hat covering his blonde hair and wielding a toy wand.

He chased Choco past the table where Mariví and Raquel were placing two trays of _entremeses_ and Sergio felt his blood freeze.

"Cinci!" He exclaimed apprehensively, causing his godson to stop instantly and look at him in alarm. "Careful! You might bump into someone or trip over your cape!”

"Sorry, nino..." The boy shrugged, casting a look of remorse that he already knew would melt his godfather’s heart.

Sergio opened his mouth letting out a small sigh and bent down, gesturing for his godson to approach him.

Cinci obeyed, walking over to his godfather with a downcast look. Sergio pulled the boy to sit on his knee and caressed his back lovingly.

"I just wanted to see if I could turn Choco's tail into a possum’s tail!" The little one explained, dangling his feet as he spoke.

Sergio broke into a smile, caressing the boy’s head. "I know, but it looks like Choco wasn't very happy with that idea, was he?"

Cinci shrugged and bent his head, reluctant to say his godfather was right.

"I don’t think so…"

“Why don't you train a little more with those rings? You were doing great with them,” Sergio suggested, raising his eyebrows encouragingly.

The boy frowned and pointed to the corner of the room, exasperated. "Because tio Martín is using them!"

In fact, when Sergio looked in the indicated direction, Martín was there trying to accomplish the trick of separating three gray acrylic rings attached to each other – without success – while Andrés stared at him with an expression that could only be a mixture of passion and despair.

“And failing miserably,” Andrés said, drawing the attention of the two and making Martín murmur an outraged “hey” but ended up being ignored by the three of them. "Cinci, come and show him how to do the trick!"

“I know how to do the trick, Andrés,” the Argentine countered.

"It doesn't look like you do, darling," he smirked.

"It's just a matter of getting the hang of it!"

Sergio took advantage of the fact that the couple was distracted to encourage his godson to go to the adults, whispering something in his ear that made him giggle and jump off his leg, excited.

"I’ll show you! I’ll show you!" Cinci shouted, running towards the two men.

"That's right, Cinci, you show them how it's done!" Jesús shouted from the couch, watching the people and sounds that filled his younger son’s home with a small smile on his face.

Watching his godson take the rings from Martín's hands and enter the posture of a magician before performing the trick on the first attempt, Sergio went to the couch where his father was sitting. He sat next to him, smiling.

"I think he liked the gift, papá," he said, nodding at Cinci.

Jesús looked at him and smiled.

"He did, didn’t he?" He said, proud to have chosen the gift himself, despite having counted on Sergio's help to go to the store for him. “We haven't had such a lively Christmas in a long time,” Jesús sighed, looking around with a mixture of joy and sadness on his face.

"Yes... you’re right," Sergio replied. In the last few years, since the death of his mother, the cozy family Christmas suppers had become small dinners between Jesús, Sergio and Andrés.

Since his cancer treatment and subsequent remission, Jesús lived in a nursing home for the elderly, due to the need for daily attention to his food and medicines – and his own insistence. Sergio and Andrés were reluctant at first, but their stubbornness was inherited from their father, so Jesús ended up convincing them to do things his way. After all, they had already had to sell their childhood home to pay for medical expenses and part of the amount received could go to the costs of the place.

Despite the big changes, Jesús seemed to be perfectly used to the place, having made some friends with whom he played chess and cards in his spare time. Even if he was thinner and practically bald, his father's appearance was much healthier than when he lived alone in their old house, but he still got tired very quickly and needed to spend most of his time sitting.

Still, Sergio couldn't help feeling guilty over his unconscious withdrawal from his father throughout the year. Between the loss of Daniel and Mónica, Cinci's custody, having gotten back with Raquel and his own work, visits to see his father became less frequent than he would have liked them to be.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited so much these past few months," he said, remorse weighing on his shoulders.

“ _Para nada_ ,” Jesús shook his head and patted his son's leg. "I already lived my life, Sergio, it's time for you to live yours."

The older man pointed his chin towards the dining table and, when Sergio looked up, he saw Raquel smile knowingly as she folded a cloth napkin.

"Let me see it again?" Mariví asked, approaching her daughter from her side. She nudged Raquel with her elbow and made her daughter look at her with an amused smile on her face.

“Mamá…” Raquel shook her head, placing a red ring on the cloth napkin and putting it on top of one of the porcelain plates.

"I want to see it again too," Laura exclaimed, getting up from the chair where she was sitting in time to see Raquel raise her hand, putting her ring finger in evidence.

Raquel could not judge them. Sometimes she would stop whatever she was doing and raise her right hand just to watch the engagement ring she now carried on her finger. The aged gold made the sparkling bow of tiny diamonds shine even more and Raquel couldn't remember what her hand looked like before that detail adorned it.

"It's so beautiful, isn't it?" Mariví asked, running her thumb slowly over the stones, admiring the beauty of the jewel.

Raquel was happy that Alzheimer's seemed to be still in its early stages and her mother seemed to respond to medications, especially the cannabidiol, which made her even more cheerful (and hungry) than usual. It warmed her heart to be able to see how Mariví could still appreciate and remember these important events in her life.

"Yes," she replied, her gaze equally lost on the seven small diamonds that completed the arch of the ring on the back of her finger. "It belonged to Sergio's grandmother."

She smiled to herself, remembering the day – or rather, the dawn – when he put the ring on her finger. It was a couple of Sundays back and Agustín was with Cinci. She and Sergio had argued early in the morning when he wasted ten minutes looking for his tablet because Raquel was always picking up the device and taking it out of the place where he always left it. Every time. Every single day.

And he even made the grotesque mistake of grumbling about it before she took her first sip of coffee, which made her raise an eyebrow and start an argument that lasted almost half an hour, interrupted only by the arrival of their godson. They tried to put aside their unresolved issues to spend the day with Cinci and, when they finally put the little one to sleep at night, Sergio pulled her into a hug in the hall and apologized mumbling softly and huskily against her ear.

Obviously, one thing led to another and the two ended up forgiving each other very effusively in the master suite. They were lying with their limbs entangled in a comforting hug and exchanging caresses up until Sergio suddenly got out of bed and opened the closet, looking for something. Raquel was about to make a comment about where his tablet was when Sergio turned around with a small black velvet box in hand and went back to bed, lying beside her with the lid of the box open.

 _“I want the good, the bad, the laughter, the discussions… I want everything with you, Raquel. Everything,”_ he had said before popping the official question.

 _"Even if I take your tablet out of place every day?"_ She had replied, teary-eyed, before nestling next to him.

Mariví's voice brought her back to the present like the line of a hook. "Which one?"

"From his mother’s side," Raquel replied, her mind still floating on the day of her proposal. A common and unique day at the same time, like every single day they shared.

"Ah, she was so sweet," her mother commented, clapping her hand tenderly. "She gave me a delicious recipe for _casadielles_."

"What about the engagement party?" Laura asked excitedly, stealing her sister's glass to sip her cava.

"We are going to do something small after the New Year," she replied, shrugging humbly and taking out another cloth napkin to fold.

"Something small?" Laura repeated, incredulous. "Raquel, you're going to get married," she declared, as if her sister didn't know. "No, no, no, scratch that, you are going to marry _Sergio_."

Raquel shook her head, laughing.

“Lau… We don't want anything big. Neither parties nor the ceremony… We just want family and friends around, good food and drinks…”

Her sister pouted, sulking, and Mariví sighed. Her daughters knew how to be just like children when their wishes were thwarted.

"I was expecting... I don't know, a wedding worthy of Bollywood movies," Laura made a sad face, accentuating her pout.

"We prefer to use the money for the honeymoon, I'm sorry," Raquel replied, still smiling.

The same night he put the ring on his finger, they made all the important decisions together. Or rather, they rectified all the previous agreements they had made so many years before when the idea of a marriage between the two was something that would happen after Sergio defended his dissertation. If back then they wanted a big party with all their family, friends and colleagues, now they were happy only with the presence of their closest loved ones. Instead of dividing their attention among so many people who they would spend years without seeing again and spend a lot of money on a ceremony for others, they now preferred to invest that money in a trip.

“Tell me again where you’re going, hija? Indonesia?" Mariví asked, smiling brightly.

"Philippines, mamá."

"Ah, yes…"

Agustín walked up to the table with a dark green bottle in his hand, flashing a smile for the three Murillo who were there. "More cava, querida?"

"Please, Agustín," Raquel raised her glass.

"Thank you," Laura replied after he filled in hers too.

"Mariví, there's a pan bubbling on the stove," the man warned, pointing to the kitchen.

"Ah, yes, the clam chowder!" She raised her hands, worried.

"I can help you," Agustín offered, placing the bottle of cava on the table.

"Gracias, Agustín," Mariví thanked, passing her daughters on the way to the kitchen. "Laura, hija, get that big ceramic pot I brought, please."

"Yes, mamá," Laura nodded, walking towards the kitchen behind the older two.

Raquel was placing the last napkin on a plate when she heard Sergio's father calling her from the couch.

"Raquel, come here," Jesús waved to her, asking her to come to him and Sergio, who was sitting next to him with an expression of disagreement.

She stopped in front of her fiancé, taking a hand to the nape of his neck to stroke him as she looked at her father-in-law.

"Yes, sir?"

"Please explain to my son that if I don't keep buying the El Gordo ticket, I will never win," he said impatiently.

Sergio sighed and Raquel had to hold back a smile.

"I understood what you said, but I'm arguing that if you saved money like the one you use to buy the lottery ticket for the past 50 years, you would have already collected a considerable amount."

Jesús looked at Raquel as if he were asking to be saved from being put in a cross. She nodded and looked at Sergio affectionately, sitting on his lap in the hope that it would open him up to Jesús' perspective on the matter.

"Cariño... It's not just about the money, it's about participating in something with thousands of people," she gestured dramatically. "It is the adrenaline that comes from not knowing what is coming."

Sergio looked at her with a frown.

"Precisely what doesn't make sense to me," he murmured, annoyed.

“I knew that Raquel would understand me,” Jesús declared, triumphant.

Raquel smiled at her father-in-law. "Remember those scratch cards you used to buy for us?"

Sergio intervened almost immediately. "The one you got a bike with, right?"

She raised her eyebrows, looking at him in surprise before looking back at her father-in-law with a mocking smile.

"See, I bet all of this is envy because his scratch card only earned him enough money for an ice cream cone!"

"Slander!" Sergio exclaimed playfully, squeezing her waist and making her laugh.

Jesús joined them in the laughter, placing his hand over hers and patting her gently.

"You were missed, hija."

Raquel felt her eyes water with the spontaneous declaration from the patriarch of the Marquina family and in a quick look she gave Sergio she realized that he too had been moved by it. She turned to Jesús again with a smile.

"You too, sir," she replied, placing her right hand over his.

“Now I can't fix you anymore, can I? I really am a sir,” he laughed. "Oye, I'm glad this ring ended up on your finger."

Raquel's smile grew even more and she met Sergio's gaze, realizing he was mirroring the silly smile on her face.

"Me too," she replied softly, her eyes still glued to Sergio's, who was stroking her lower back with the tips of his fingers.

"You deserve it," Jesús continued, before casting a careful look at his youngest son. "And I'm more relaxed with this one by your side."

Raquel gave him a nice laugh and Sergio looked at his father, appalled and shaking his head, until an alarm on his phone interrupted the moment between the three of them. Raquel got up from Sergio's lap and he took his phone out of his back pocket to turn off the ringing sound.

“Papá, it's time for your medicine,” he declared, getting up from the couch while Raquel positioned herself on Jesús’ other side for them to help him up.

"I can do it," Andrés volunteered, hurrying up to his father.

"Are you sure?"

"I’m sure, hermanito," the eldest said, taking Sergio's place beside his father and leading him towards the bathroom. "Come, papá."

Raquel took the opportunity to approach Sergio again and slide her arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight hug and leaving a kiss in the middle of his chest before resting her ear in the same place. He returned the hug, stroking her back, but Raquel could still hear the gears working in his mind.

She turned her head and rested her chin on top of his sternum, looking at him curiously. He lowered his face to find his fiancée’s gaze, holding her even closer against him. Then, almost in perfect synchrony, she raised her eyebrows as he started to speak.

“Do you think we need to add more drinks to the freezer? Is the music too loud?”

Raquel laughed softly, burying her nose into the sweater he was wearing to absorb his scent before bending her neck to look up at him again.

"Cariño, you can relax," she said, patiently. "Everyone is feeling at home."

Sergio's expression was one of pure expectation. "Sí?"

"Sí," she nodded, taking a hand to the back of his neck and placing herself on her tiptoes.

"Okay," he replied, quietly.

"Come here," she leaned her forehead against his, her eyes closing and her fingers sewing the strands of his hair in the way that made him concentrate only on her and forget about everything else. "Take a deep breath," she whispered before opening her eyes to look him in the eyes. "Qué pasa?"

Sergio took a deep breath as she asked and shrugged, looking for the right words.

"It's just that this is our first Christmas together..."

"Mhm," Raquel hummed, pleased. "The first of many."

Sergio smiled.

"I want everything to be perfect, Raquel," he continued. "For us and... for Cinci."

She felt her eyes water.

Since Christmas lights and decorations began to appear around the city, Cinci seemed to realize that the Christmas holidays were close and his parents were not there. Raquel and Sergio were nervous about that possibility – after all, it was his first Christmas without Daniel and Mónica – but when he woke up at night with nightmares and in the morning with a wet bed, the two of them spent the following days with a tightness in their hearts and walking on eggs, for fear that any small comment or attitude would be responsible for a new crying crisis.

However, Cinci's psychologist advised the two of them to deal with the boy's sadness in the most honest way possible for his age, without treating him indulgently or being overprotective. It would be a difficult Christmas and he could be sad several times during the break, but the confidence that Cinci already had in his godparents was a constant that should remain independent of that.

One day after dinner, they told him about the Christmas traditions in their families when they were younger and asked Cinci what Christmas traditions he had with his parents that he would like to keep – and what new traditions they could create together, the three of them. _"The four of us,"_ Cinci corrected, pointing to Choco, and the three arranged a series of Christmas activities for the following days, which seemed to cheer the boy up.

That morning on Christmas Eve, he woke up wanting to snuggle and asked to stay in Sergio and Raquel's bed, lying between them, listening to stories they had of his parents. The two dedicated themselves to telling fun stories, which expressed Daniel's good humor and Mónica's positivity and affection, and the effort seemed to be worth it because at the end of the story session, the boy already had a smile on his face.

Raquel took a few sidesteps still in Sergio's arms so that the two could look face their godson, who looked very focused while doing a magic trick with his top hat and a plush rabbit for Andrés, Martín and Laura.

"Sergio... Look at him," Raquel nudged her fiance's waist with her index finger before tightening her arms around him. "Look at that smile right there," she said, when the adults clapped for the trick and he smiled proudly. "That smile means that everything we did and are doing is important," she turned her face to drag the tip of her nose over his beard, making him smile. "And... when that smile turns into a frown, we’ll deal with it," she whispered. "But not now."

Sergio looked at her again. Raquel gave him that understanding look that she always sported when it came to him and each of his neuroses, that quiet and patient expression that always fulfilled her desire to calm him down. He nodded in silence.

“He's happy now, eh? Vale?" She continued.

"Vale," he replied, leaning down to leave a chaste kiss, full of tenderness and complicity, on her lips.

Raquel smiled, perfectly content, when he pulled away, resting her heels on the floor again and holding her empty cup between them.

"But you can put another bottle of cava in the freezer and fill me up," she said with a mischievous smile on her face, making Sergio laugh.

"Your request is an order," he replied solemnly, reluctantly pulling away from Raquel's embrace.

She raised her eyebrows, presumptuous. "It better be."

_Pode ser muito bonito  
_ _O mar, o sol e a flor  
_ _Mas se não abrir comigo  
_ _Não vou, não vou_

**December 25th**

Raquel was just finishing brushing her teeth when she saw, looking through the mirror, Sergio come out of the shower and dry himself with his towel. She wiped her mouth with the washcloth without ever taking her eyes off him – the hair on his chest and stomach, those big arms that were even more beautiful when he moved…

Realizing that he was being watched, Sergio looked up to see her smiling at him through the mirror. He shook his head – even with so many years of intimacy between them, he still had trouble believing that Raquel could look at him like _that_ constantly – and tied the towel around his waist, approaching her from behind and hugging her.

"Watch out," Raquel warned, resting her back against his wet torso.

"Why?" Sergio asked, pushing her hair over her right shoulder and leaning over her to kiss her newly exposed neck.

"Because you're all naked and smelling so good and with that towel tied around your waist..." She replied, her voice wavering with the kisses he left on the back of her neck and the proximity of his body against hers, but she couldn't stop teasing him. "At any moment you could be pushed against the wall and you’d claim not to know why..."

He laughed, the laughter reverberating pleasantly against her skin. "Oh, really?"

“LET’S OPEN THE GIFTSSSSSS!" Cinci shouted from outside the room, the sound of rapid steps approaching echoing from down the hall.

Raquel let out a heavy breath and turned to leave a kiss on Sergio's lips.

"Hmmm, to be continued," she murmured with a stubborn smile, letting her gaze travel one last time over her fiancé’s half-naked body before leaving him alone in the bathroom.

She arrived in the bedroom to find Cinci jumping excitedly on their bed.

"Good morning, little monkey," she said, kneeling on the bed to grab him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Nina! It's Christmas!" He said, escaping her embrace to continue jumping on the bed.

"I know, my love!" Raquel smiled.

"Let's open the giiiiiiifts," he exclaimed, kneeling on the bed dramatically.

Raquel raised her eyebrows. "Your nino is finishing dressing up, shall we brush your teeth before we open anything?"

Before he could protest, she interrupted him.

"It's the same time it will take for your nino to get ready!"

He seemed to stop for a second to mentally calculate the time the activities would take and decided that it was a good idea.

"Okay..." He snorted, before his eyes lit up with an idea. "But I want to go on your back like a monkey!"

Raquel laughed, sitting on the end of the bed with her back turned to him.

"Come, little monkey," she said, feeling the little one launch himself against her body, his little arms around her neck as she held his feet.

It didn't take long for the three of them to meet by the Christmas tree, sitting on the floor near Choco's bed, who watched the movement with curiosity.

Raquel looked at the presents and then at Cinci, who practically bounced with excitement sitting on his heels. "Okay, where do we start?"

"Choco first!" He decided and the dog raised his head when he heard his name. "Come, Choco!"

The dog obeyed, going over to Cinci and sitting next to him, licking his hand as if he had understood that he would receive something.

Sergio looked for Choco's gift under the tree and handed it to Raquel.

"Vale, do you want to open it for him, mi amor?" Raquel asked, offering the gift to her godson.

"Yes," he said, taking the gift in his little hands. "Look, Choco, this is your gift," he showed the dog, who sniffed the box before he saw the wrapping paper completely torn and destroyed by Cinci, revealing two gifts for him. “Look! It's a tent and a rope ball!”

Choco sniffed the rope ball and quickly took it in his mouth, returning to his bed to gnaw on the toy before anyone could have the idea of taking it from him.

“Someone got excited,” Raquel laughed, stroking Choco's head lovingly.

Cinci laughed. "I think he liked the ball."

"I bet he will like the tent too, we just need to set it up for him," Sergio said, running a hand over his godson's hair.

"Yeah..." Cinci nodded thoughtfully before turning to face his godfather. "But let's open the other presents first, okay?"

"Okay, _jefe_ ," Raquel declared, exchanging a small smile with Sergio.

"Can I open mine now?" The little one asked excitedly.

"Mmmm, I can see two gifts with your name on them," his godmother replied, looking at the gifts gathered under the tree.

Sergio pulled them both out, a medium-sized rectangular box on top of a square box larger than Cinci himself, making the boy's eyes widen.

"How about we open them in order from smallest to largest?" His godfather asked.

"Okay," he replied, pulling out the smaller box and tearing up its wrapping paper quickly and studying the images on the box’s cover. "WOW! It's a lab kit! For my experiments,” the boy said, lifting the box for his godfather to see as if he didn't know what his gift was. "Look!"

"Cool, huh?" Sergio asked, happy to see the little boy's excitement. "There are more than a hundred experiments that we can do."

Cinci smiled, looking closely at the pictures that illustrated the box.

"You're going to be my assistant, right, nino?"

Sergio shot Raquel a proud look before opening a smile. "Claro."

"Can I open the other one now?" The boy asked, putting the box aside.

"Yes," Raquel replied as she gathered all the torn gift wrappings into a paper ball.

Cinci tore the other wrapping paper and when he could finally see what the huge box contained, his eyes did not seem to believe what they were seeing.

“A SCOOTER! AND THE WHEELS SHINE, LOOK!” He shouted, excited. "I always wanted to have one of these," he declared, as if his godparents hadn't heard him say that at least thirty times in the past few months. "I want to ride it!"

Raquel nudged the little one, arching his eyebrows suggestively. "Hey, why don't you give your nino’s gift first?"

"Vale," he sat back on his heels, waiting for his godmother to hand him a small, rectangular package for him to give to his best man. "Here, nino."

Sergio alternated his gaze between Cinci and Raquel before carefully – and slowly – opening the gift.

"Faster, nino!" The little one asked, placing his hands in the middle of his godfather's to tear the wrapping paper and reveal its content right away.

When Sergio looked at the frame, he felt his heart sink, overwhelmed.

It was a drawing that Cinci himself had made, of him in the middle of his godfather and his godmother, holding hands with the two of them, with Choco beside Sergio. The drawing was perfectly framed in a wooden box with a glass to protect it, and then Sergio realized that the figures of the four were ahead of the boy's painted background – a house, a tree and a sky with sun, clouds and rainbows –, giving the drawing a third dimension.

"Cinci... What a beautiful drawing," Sergio murmured, clearly moved.

“Did you like it, nino? I made it, I used all the pencil colors I had,” he proudly said, explaining about his creative process as a true artist. “It's for you to put on your desk in the office! Isn't it, nina?”

"That's right," Raquel smiled, happy to see how Sergio was touched by the present.

"It's perfect," he replied, opening his arms to his godson. "Come here," he asked and Cinci went to his godfather to give him a hug. "Gracias," Sergio said, trying to hold back the tears and picking up a large rectangular gift after Cinci sat down on the floor again. "Now give yours to your godmother."

Cinci pushed the gift that Sergio carried towards his godmother and watched curiously as Raquel tore the package with the same enthusiasm as he had.

Raquel looked down at her gift and smiled. Inside a wooden frame was an A3 poster with a painting that Cinci had made of Raquel wearing a superhero outfit and a cape, with his letters, still crooked and clumsy, saying “the best nina ever in the entire world".

She shook her head as she smiled and felt her eyes fill up with tears.

"I made that one too!" Cinci declared excitedly, as if the authorship of that gift was not easily identifiable. "I mean, I drew it, but nino had the poster made!"

"Mi amor... I loved it so much," Raquel said, putting the poster aside to grab the boy and give him a tight hug.

She didn't realize that the tears had escaped her eyes until Cinci ran a hand over her cheek clumsily, trying to wipe one off.

"Why are you crying? Are you sad?" He asked, concerned.

"Sometimes we cry out of happiness too," Raquel replied, opening a smile to calm him down. "And love, lots of love," she tickled his belly, making him laugh in her lap. "I love you, nino."

“I love you too, nina,” he replied and, after a few seconds, alternately looked between the two adults expectantly. "Can I ride the scooter now, please?!"

“Vale, let your nino take it out of the box for you,” Raquel replied, filling him with kisses while Sergio took the scooter out of the box and attached the handle to the base.

"Let me see, let me see!" He exclaimed, jumping from his godmother's arms to mount on the scooter.

"How do you say to your nino, Cinci?" She reminded him.

"Graciassss," he replied, seconds before getting a boost and riding the scooter across the living room. “Look, nina! Look what I can do!"

Cinci used another impulse to ride the scooter and struggled to make a curve in the corner of the room.

"Wow!! You are very good at this, mi amor,” Raquel replied enthusiastically. "Just be careful with the edges of the furniture so you don't get hurt, okay?"

"FINE!" He shouted, entering the hall with his scooter. "COME, CHOCOOOOO!" He called the dog, who got up from the bed with his rope ball in his mouth to go after his owner.

Raquel took a small box from under the tree and offered it to Sergio.

"Feliz navidad, cariño," she smiled.

Sergio opened the package delicately until it revealed a box with the same perfume he had been using for so many years. He smirked as he looked up at her.

"Raquel... Is this gift for me or for you?"

"It's a gift for both of us," she smiled, shrugging.

Sergio held back a laugh, arching his eyebrows. "Oh, is it?"

Raquel made her way towards him, sliding her hands around the back of his neck.

"So I can hold on to you and keep sniffing you and kissing you," she said, burying her face in his neck to take a deep breath and leave a long kiss at the same spot.

He pulled her so that she sat on his lap, turned on her side.

"Mmmm, when you put it like that..."

She smiled, proudly. "See?"

"Gracias," he murmured, leaving a slow kiss on her lips. In the background, the sounds of Cinci's scooter wheels and his giddy onomatopoeia filled the room.

"Open the other one," she whispered, reaching for another gift slightly larger than the perfume box.

Sergio looked at her, embarrassed, and put the perfume aside to open the other package. After carefully opening the box, his eyes opened wide with what he found inside.

"I can't believe it..." He said, taking a vintage red View-Master and a collection of reels with photos of Star Trek out of the box. "Where did you find this?"

"I bought it from a collector," Raquel said, proud of her gift.

"It's just like the one I had," he murmured, turning the View-Master over to look at every detail carefully.

"Yes, but... there's something else," she smiled, biting her bottom lip. "Andrés gave me the contact of a photographer friend of his and... he helped me make a special reel," she pulled out a reel disk and fitted it to the toy. "Take a look."

Sergio frowned at her, puzzled, and obeyed, bringing the toy to his eyes. A gasp of surprise escaped his lips when he saw the photo that appeared in the viewfinder – he and Raquel, aged 13, in Cullera, both on the beach, covered in sand, and each holding an ice cream cone.

"Raquel..." He pushed the lever, changing the photo that appeared on the display to one of him and Raquel with Andrés and Laura; then one of him and Raquel embraced with his mother after a presentation from the school. "These photos…"

"These are some of my favorites," she said, making him put the toy down and look at her, overwhelmed with emotion.

"Gracias, mi amor," he whispered, holding her even closer to him.

"See? I'm a romantic too,” she replied, caressing his beard with one hand.

"Mhm," he agreed, leaning his forehead against hers. "Among other things."

She left a soft kiss on his lips before moving her face away a few inches to ask, like a curious child, "Where's mine?"

Sergio took a deep breath, pretending to think about the answer. "Is a kiss good enough?"

"Sergio," she bent her head.

"A hug?" He asked then.

"Sergio!" She laughed, slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"Let me get it," he asked, making her get off his lap and sit next to him on the floor. He reached out his hands for two gifts.

"First this one," he said, handing over one of the packages.

Raquel took the gift from his hand and eagerly unwrapped it to find a handmade notebook with a leather cover. She looked at Sergio, curious, and untied the loops of a leather ribbon to open the journal.

The first thing she noticed on the page she opened was Sergio's handwriting in a dedication to her:

> _Mi amor,_
> 
> _Thinking about all the new memories that we are building together, day after day, I wanted to remember some of our favorites. I hope you enjoy it._
> 
> _Te quiero._

Underneath the message, he had signed and posted that year’s Christmas date. Raquel turned the page, anxious for the content. There was a photo of the two of them together on Sergio's 13th birthday, glued onto the page. She smiled and moved on to the next, where there was a poem that he took from Rosario Castellanos' book that he had given her as a gift:

> _Ahora estoy de regreso.  
>  _ _Llevé lo que la ola, para romperse, lleva  
>  _ _—sal, espuma y estruendo—,  
>  _ _y toqué con mis manos una criatura viva;  
>  _ _el silencio._
> 
> _Heme aquí suspirando  
>  _ _como el que ama y se acuerda y está lejos._

On the next page, there was the ticket from the movie they had watched the day they started dating. It was a little faded, but in very good condition, and she looked up at Sergio in surprise.

"You kept this?" She asked, her eyes filled with tears.

"I kept everything," he replied shyly, shrugging. "Nothing I saw in stores looked good enough so... I decided to make something," he explained. "Like Cinci."

"It's perfect," Raquel smiled, wiping the corner of her eyes with the sleeve of the sweatshirt she wore.

"There's one more thing," he announced, handing her the other gift.

She resisted putting the agenda aside, giving him a hard look.

"We'll look at all of this together later, okay?" She declared, tapping her index finger on the cover of the journal and Sergio smiled, nodding in silence.

Raquel took the other gift from his hands and opened it, anxious. It was a block of dark wood and Sergio saw her frown, confused.

"Open it," he encouraged her.

Raquel looked for the opening of the wooden block that she soon discovered to be a double picture frame: on one side, there was a photo of her and Sergio with Cinci, and on the other, a photo of her and Sergio when they were still in college and she was still with her six months pregnant belly.

This time, tears filled up her eyes without any previous announcement.

"Sergio," she murmured, her eyes alternating between the two photos – the two children who marked their relationships, the two families they built together, the two realities of their lives. The past and the present.

She looked up to find him crying as well and, still holding the picture frame, leaned over him, pulling him into a tender, lingering kiss in which she hoped to show all her gratitude. Because he understood that the pain of their loss could not prevent them from celebrating their luck, being together again, being able to take care of Cinci, being able to be a family despite everything they went through.

The sound of the scooter approaching made them pull away to receive their godson and Raquel wiped her eyes once more to smile at the little one, who noticed that she was holding a picture frame and released the scooter to kneel beside her and inspect the object with curiosity.

"Let me see it, nina," he asked, sitting on his godmother's lap, and she showed him the picture frame with the two photos. "I’m in it!" He exclaimed, smiling, before pointing at his godmother's belly in the other photo. "Who's in here?"

"Luísa," Raquel replied, her voice a little choked. “Did you know that I was once a mother? Like yours?”

"Really?" Cinci looked up at her, confused. "And where is Luísa?"

Raquel took a deep breath, as if she were finding the strength to say it, but it was Sergio who answered the godson.

"Luísa is gone," he said, in a still voice that tried to hide his sadness. "Like your parents."

Cinci frowned, looking at the photo thoughtfully.

“So is she also in the trees and mushrooms? And everywhere?” He asked, alternating his gaze between his godparents.

"Yes," Raquel nodded. "And she's here too," she added, placing her palm over her heart.

Cinci automatically took his little hand to rest on top of Raquel's and she had to take a deep breath to keep herself from crying again at that moment. She loved him so much that all that love didn't even fit inside her.

"Do you think my parents and Luísa are together?" Cinci asked, looking up at his godfather. "That would be cool because I'm here with you and then they could be with her."

Raquel smiled, exhaling heavily. She never ceased to be amazed at the ability he had to remember conversations they had and come to conclusions and theories from his imagination.

"I hope so, nino," she replied, leaving a kiss on his temple.

“It would be really cool if they were together,” Sergio echoed, reaching for Raquel's hand and giving it a warm squeeze.

Cinci seemed to contemplate the possibility for a few seconds, making Sergio and Raquel look at each other, apprehensive about the possibility that he might start crying at that moment. However, the boy stood up from his godmother's lap, resolute.

“Can we play with the lab kit, nino? I want to experiment!”

The exclamation was punctuated by a loud rumble from the boy's belly, which widened his eyes before he started to laugh, infecting his godparents with his own laughter.

"Oops!" Raquel placed her hands on her waist questioningly. "And what was that noise?"

"I think it's time we eat something before we play," Sergio suggested.

Cinci protested right away. "Nooooo, I'm not hungry!"

"Aaaah, but I am!" Raquel said, getting up off the floor quickly.

"Me too," Sergio corroborated, standing up and taking his godson in his lap and tickling him to distract him. "We can make pancakes..."

Cinci's eyes widened – the mention of pancakes really caught his attention.

“Hmmm, how about red and green pancakes? Christmas colors?” Raquel suggested, knowing that the idea would make him excited to eat.

"Síiiiiiiiiiiiii!" He shouted, raising his arms in celebration.

And with the little one happy about the breakfast menu, the three walked towards the kitchen to prepare their breakfast. Together.

_As pessoas que caminham  
_ _Seja lá pra onde for  
_ _É uma gente que é tão minha  
_ _Que eu vou, que eu vou_

It was eleven o'clock at night when Raquel returned to the bedroom, arms crossed in front of her white robe, and she found Sergio sitting on the edge of the bed, admiring the frame with Cinci's drawing of the three of them – well, of the four, if you counted Choco – with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Raquel, this drawing is much more detailed than I would expect from a five-year-old child, look, even the color of your hair is similar," he observed, proudly, his eyes still focused on every detail of his godson's illustration.

“Sergio,” Raquel caught his attention, finally making him look up at her.

She opened the robe, letting it fall to the floor and revealing a black lingerie with lace details and a matching garter belt that made Sergio open his mouth in surprise.

His eyes roamed over every inch of Raquel's body, as if it were the first time he had seen her, until they returned to her face, as she raised her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for a vocal reaction from him.

When he remained silent, as if frozen by the sight in front of her, Raquel shook her head, amused, approaching.

"Take off those librarian pajamas," she ordered, holding a smile that curved the corners of her lips up nonetheless.

"Pues sí," he said, reaching out to place the drawing and his glasses on the bedside table and sitting up straight again to undo the buttons on his shirt.

Raquel sat on his lap, placing her legs on each side of his waist and taking over Sergio's hands to unbutton his shirt. He, in turn, brought his hands up to her legs, caressing them with his fingertips while admiring the way that lingerie fit on her body, the way the fabric clung to each of her curves, the spaces where the lacy fabric became more transparent and left little to the imagination.

"Your... this..." He stammered somewhat incongruously as she finished removing the shirt from his body, throwing it on the floor. "Is this new?"

She brought a hand to his face, caressing it lovingly, and slowly kissed her fiancé.

"This is your third gift," she whispered against Sergio's lips, her fingers running through his hair.

He took a deep breath, watching her with an amused gleam in his eyes.

"Hm... I don't think it's my size," he quipped.

"Idiot," Raquel laughed, slapping him playfully on the shoulder and pulling him in for another kiss.

"It's perfect on you," he said, his breath cut between their kisses. "You're perfect."

Raquel shook her head, still smiling tenderly. "I’m pretty sure that by now you already know that’s not true, Sergio."

"For me it is," he replied, capturing her lips in a sweet kiss, but full of desire.

She moved away a few inches, lifting her hips and leaning on her knees to place herself above Sergio. She gave him a seductive look, her mouth slightly swollen, and watched him swallow with anticipation.

She sat on him again, now precisely on the hardened volume inside his pants, and began to move her hips in circular movements on top of him. Sergio closed his eyes for a moment, his fingers tightly gripping her legs.

"What do you want to do with your gift?" Raquel asked, her husky voice sending a shiver down the length of his spine.

He opened his eyes, leaning over her to kiss her neck.

“I want to appreciate… every… detail… thoroughly,” Sergio declared, each word punctuated by a kiss that descended from Raquel’s neck to her chest.

She let out a heavy breath and rubbed herself again against his length. Sergio responded by sliding his hands on her legs until he reached her ass, squeezing it tightly and pulling her even closer to him, gluing their bodies as close as he could.

Raquel pulled him in for a sensual kiss and used the weight of her body to make him fall on his back on the bed, his hands eagerly roaming all over her body, alternating between light caresses and strong compressions almost as if he wanted to mark his fingerprints on her skin, like she was a canvas to be filled abstractly by each of his touches and caresses.

They lost track of how much time they spent kissing and feeling each other until she pulled away, breathing hard, and sat on him. With her gaze fixed on his, she took a hand to one of the lingerie’s straps in an attempt to remove it, but Sergio was quicker and held her wrist gently.

"Don't take it off," he asked softly, shaking his head, and Raquel raised her eyebrows in response.

"Mmmm," she murmured, putting the strap back in place and bringing her hand to the middle of her legs. "Good thing this has a special detail," she smiled, slowly lifting her hips and unbuttoning the bottom of the lingerie.

Sergio's eyes alternated a few times between her face and her recently exposed intimacy, in a mixture of incredulity and desire that Raquel didn't know how was repeated so often in his expression even after so many years.

She sat down again and felt his erection pulse through the fabric of his pants. Her smile grew, victorious.

"Another detail to be appreciated," he replied hoarsely.

"I don't see you appreciating every detail thoroughly, Sergio," she countered, challenging him.

"Sorry," he shook his head, rising from the bed and snaking his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him and bringing their faces closer together. "I got distracted by the visual appreciation."

She nodded, sliding the tip of her nose over his affectionately.

"You know I'm more fond of practical appreciation, huh?"

He smiled – it was his turn to nod slightly before pulling her in for a slow kiss and pulling her bottom lip between his teeth, making her sigh.

"No problem," he said, getting up from the bed with her on his lap and turning to lay her on her back on the bed.

He leaned over Raquel, kissing her once more and dragging kisses down her jaw, her neck, her collarbone... Then he traced the tip of his tongue across the rim of the black lace that covered her breasts, making her sigh again.

And at the same time that Sergio ran his teeth over her right nipple through the fine lace, he slid his hand across her stomach, bringing his fingers to Raquel's wet folds, his middle finger tracing a path between her outer lips and making her pant in anticipation.

When he leaned over her left nipple, he let her fingertips stimulate her clitoris with quick, circular motions and felt Raquel's nails dig into her back.

" _Joder_ ," she hissed. "Sergio..."

"Hm?" He murmured, leaving a kiss on her sternum and continuing to stimulate her clitoris, eliciting a groan from her.

"Please..." She mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you wanted me to appreciate the details?"

"Fuck the details," she countered, impatient.

He laughed, pulling away just to position himself between her legs, exactly where she wanted him. He spread her open with his fingers and moved closer, his breath hot on her exposed intimacy.

He looked up at her and Raquel let out a frustrated breath when he didn’t start stimulating her right away.

"Why do all of your gifts for me end up being for you in the end?" He teased her, making her narrow her eyes in his direction.

"What's yours is mine, remember, cariño?" She replied, trying too hard to get every word out. "And we're not in the end yet," she winked at him, taking her fingers to his hair to tug at it tenderly.

He opened his mouth to reply, but Raquel pulled his hair harder to prevent him from even going further.

"Sergio, if you want to get to the end, please continue," she complained and he just nodded, having understood the message perfectly.

He left a kiss on the inside of Raquel's right thigh, letting his beard drag across the spot before leaning over her center and she sighed, glad that he had let his tongue take care of things much better than verbally teasing her.

She felt him dedicate himself to every inch of her, at every single one of her sensitive spots, with that certainty of someone who already knew her as the palm of his hand.

Sergio focused exclusively on making her moan until she moaned, arching her back and coming undone on his lips, her knuckles white from clinging to the bed sheet.

She was still panting when Sergio laid down beside her, his fingers trailing over the lace of her lingerie.

Raquel let out a lazy laugh when she felt his fingers caress her body through the lace.

"Did you like your gift?" She asked, turning on her side and looking at him with heavy lids.

"So much," he smiled, and she mirrored the same smile on her face.

She pulled him in for a slow kiss, which turned into another, until she felt her body awaken again and slid a hand down Sergio's torso, entering his pants and stroking his cock with the tips of her fingers, making him even harder.

"Joder," he grunted, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Mmmm," she murmured, patiently guiding her hand around his cock and skillfully stimulating him with slow movements.

Raquel brought her face closer to Sergio's, rendering his lower lip between her teeth before dragging her lips across his face, leaving him a series of kisses at the same time that she started to move her hand faster.

"Raquel..." He sighed, reaching out a hand to hold her wrist lightly and breathing hard.

"Ah," she exclaimed, surprised. "You mean I’m not the only one being impatient, huh?"

Sergio laughed in consternation, but was unable to answer her because she soon pushed him with his back against the mattress to drag his pants down. If there was one thing he had learned from Raquel over the years, it was that ideally he shouldn't wear underwear when they went to bed. Either before falling asleep or just after waking up, she would find a way to get to him and one thing would lead to another. Almost invariably.

Raquel positioned herself on top of him, holding him by the base of his cock and giving him a concentrated and extremely seductive look.

"Cariño," she whispered, making him smile, his eyes overflowing with anticipation.

She bit her bottom lip, guiding Sergio's cock to her entrance and sitting on him slowly. The two of them groaned at the same time and Raquel closed her eyes for a moment, trying to lengthen the sensation of having him completely inside her.

She opened her eyes again before she started to move, first moving her hips in circles, then adding a back-and-forth movement each time she returned to the center and, finally, using her muscles to contract and release Sergio's cock.

" _Joderjoderjoder_ ," he murmured, his hands gripping Raquel's waist tightly.

Raquel relaxed her muscles and moaned, running her nails over Sergio's chest to get his attention.

He didn't take long to respond, moving his hips to thrust her slowly at first.

"Ah," she moaned. "More, more, more…"

Sergio continued to thrust, at first slowly and spaced out, then faster and faster with each moan she stretched. After a few minutes, they were both panting desperately.

" _Ahora_ ," she growled, signaling to Sergio that she was close to succumbing.

He allowed himself to come inside her while she arched her back and reached for his hand to squeeze it firmly, the orgasm taking her completely.

Raquel couldn't remember the exact moment she got off him and fell beside him on the mattress, but now she was lying with her face against Sergio's chest, listening to his heart racing.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to equalize her breathing, and felt Sergio start to stroke her waist with the tips of his fingers, a gesture that usually induced her to sleep. However, she was not ready to sleep yet. There was one last thing she wanted to do with him on their first Christmas together.

"Hey," Raquel called out to him, poking his chest with her forefinger.

"Hm?" Sergio murmured back, opening his eyes to face her.

"We’re not sleeping yet, we have something important to do," she declared, leaning over the nightstand beside her to get the journal he had made.

He smiled, placing a pillow at the headboard and adjusting himself to sit. Raquel curled up next to him with the gift in hand, opening it on the page where she had stopped earlier.

Sergio took a hand to hold the object, making it easier for her to just go through the pages. They spent at least an hour going through the journal, exchanging caresses and talking and laughing softly at each photo, poem and memento that appeared along the pages. They fell asleep between a lazy kiss and another, with their faces pressed together and the shared memories of the two filling the entire room in the most comfortable silence.

_Quem não tem nada com isso  
_ _Veio a vida e não amou  
_ _Gente certa é gente aberta  
_ _Se o amor me chamar  
_ _Eu vou, eu vou, eu vou_  
_Eu vou, eu vou, eu vou  
_ _Eu vou, eu vou, eu vou_


	18. Nochevieja

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holaaaa ❤️
> 
> This was originally posted on New Year's Eve and is the last of these daily updates!
> 
> Not quite sure when I'll be back with the last two extra chapters, but I'll let you guys know on Twitter (I'm @_cualquierlugar in there) :)
> 
> 🎵 The song I use in this chapter is Say You Will, by Fleetwood Mac, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Something in you brought out something in me  
_ _That I've never been since  
_ _That part of me that was only for you  
_ _That kind of romance  
_ _Comes only once, that kind of love  
_ _That kind of fever dance  
_ _That you love because you become someone else in an instant_

_"Joder," Raquel grunted, feeling her orgasm was closer with every single one of Sergio's thrust. Before she could even think of anything else, he penetrated her again and she fell apart, moaning loudly and arching her back on the bed._

_He didn't take long, thrusting her again before he poured himself into her and let the weight of his body fall on Raquel's._

_She brought her hands to caress his hair and shoulders. Despite the sweat that was emanating from their bodies, they couldn't think of separating themselves before processing the end of that sex marathon that started since they returned from breakfast at the hotel. They spent the day, quite literally, eating and having sex on every surface that this room had to offer._

_Slowly, Sergio pulled away from Raquel and left a kiss on her lips before he fell beside her on the bed, breathing hard._

_Raquel was still panting when the sound of a symphony of fireworks erupted outside, followed by many cheers. She widened her eyes and sat on the bed, alarmed, looking at Sergio, who was still lying on his back on the mattress, watching her calmly._

_"Sergio," she called him out in an anxious voice but he just blinked his eyes in her direction. "We missed the countdown."_

_He smiled, reaching out to caress her arm with his fingertips._

_"I didn't miss anything," he replied, making Raquel completely disarm herself in a matter of seconds._

_She smiled and leaned over him again, resting her hands and chin on his right shoulder to look at him closely._

_"Thinking about it your way, I actually gained a lot of things," she bit her bottom lip and raised her eyebrows suggestively._

_Sergio laughed, pressing Raquel's waist against his body. She let her gaze wander over his face – she loved it when he was like that, in that hazy state of post-sex glow, because it was the most relaxed she saw him and she felt so special for being the only person who knew_ that _Sergio._

_She straightened up on the bed, supporting herself with her left elbow against the pillow and bringing her right hand to caress the unruly hairs that had started to grow on his chest in the recent years._

_Raquel smiled at the thought that she knew so many Sergios – the shy boy who barely managed to get out of bed when he was younger; her neighbor, with whom she could spend hours playing games and talking; the preteen she saw discovering so much about the world that he had not been able to learn from any of his countless books; her best friend, who had seen her laugh and cry so many times over the years, who spent nights helping her study for math and physics tests, who was always her alibi when she wanted to do anything her parents would not allow her to; her first serious boyfriend._

_She couldn't wait to meet the man he would become after college, after his master's, after his doctorate._

_She wanted to know each new part of him but none of that changed Raquel's certainty that Sergio Marquina would always be the only person in the world for her._

_Suddenly, she seemed to remember something random and frowned, still looking at him._

_"What?" Sergio asked, noticing the change in her expression._

_"We didn't eat the grapes..." She murmured under her breath, as if she were still thinking about it. "Do you think it could bring us bad luck?"_

_"Of course not," he replied calmly._

_She laughed, raising an eyebrow. "That’s a lot of conviction!"_

_Sergio smiled, shrugging and caressing her waist. He took a deep breath, his gaze watching over the paths his fingers ran on Raquel's skin._

_"It's just that it doesn’t matter what happens if I have you by my side," he said, his voice just above a whisper, and she smiled, tilting her head so that her face was right in his field of vision._

_"Are you really going to put up with me forever?" She teased, making him laugh as she lay on top of his body._

_"I should be asking_ you _that question," he countered._

_Raquel shook her head, pouting in disgust. "I can be more annoying than you..."_

_He made an expression of outrage and, faster than she could process, reversed their positions on the bed – now she was lying under him, who hovered above her with an expression of false dismay._

_"Are you calling me annoying?"_

_"Yep, my favorite annoying person ever," she replied, laughing and bringing her hands to the back of his neck._

_Sergio pretended to contemplate the statement for a moment before nodding slightly._

_"Okay, I’ll accept that," he said, giving Raquel a peck on the lips and then burying his face in the crook of her neck to trail several other kisses there._

_"Cariño..." She sighed. “Why don’t we leave this room for a little while? Let's go to the beach."_

_He tilted his head back to look at her again – he needed to look at her constantly because, even after so many years together as a couple, he still had a hard time believing this was real._

_"Let’s go," he agreed, without moving a muscle to get off her._

_Raquel continued looking at him with a passionate gaze and it was at that moment that Sergio realized that all that he had lived with her... was still not enough. He wanted more – he wanted many more years with her, he wanted_ everything _with her. And only her._

_She began to caress his shoulders, her gaze tracing the paths from one of his birthmarks to the other without showing any hurry for them to get out of that position._

_"Raquel?"_

_"Hm?" She murmured, her eyes leaving the constellation of birthmarks on Sergio’s shoulders to meet his brown eyes._

_"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he whispered as if he were telling her a secret._

_She looked at him, dazzled by the confession, and that was one of the rare instances in her life when Sergio saw Raquel Murillo without an answer on the tip of her tongue._

_"I will always want you," he continued, dragging the tip of his nose over hers, making her smile slightly and he could have sworn he saw her eyes fill with tears. "Siempre."_

_"Siempre" was the only thing she managed to whisper back, but the word came out more as a promise than anything._

_She smiled, pulling him in for another kiss before muttering that if they didn't get up soon, they wouldn't leave that bed again._

_Sergio saw no problem with that possibility but he accompanied her in a shower before getting ready to leave the room._

_They still had all the time in the world to be together._

_Say you will, say you will give me one more chance  
_ _At least give me time to change your mind  
_ _That always seems to heal the wounds  
_ _If I can get you to dance_

They were late.

The invitation to Andrés and Martín's party said eight o'clock, it was already eight and thirteen and they still hadn't left the house. Sergio was ready, Cinci was ready and Raquel... Raquel was changing her clothes for the third time.

Sergio was frustrated that they had set the departure time to seven forty-five. That is – they were almost half an hour late from the settled time and he hadn't even requested an Uber yet. It wasn't like Raquel to take so long to get ready but her delay was not something that surprised him so much. Raquel could be a little… _chaotic_ from time to time.

Cinci was on the floor, wearing a formal blouse with jeans, absentmindedly playing on his tablet and leaning against Choco, while Sergio was sitting on the couch, his fingers intertwined, impatiently waiting for Raquel, when he finally heard her footsteps slowly coming down the stairs.

Sergio got to his feet in agony. "Shall we go?"

"Wait, let me look in the mirror," she requested, walking directly to the full-length mirror in the entrance hall.

He held back a grunt of frustration as he sat back on the couch, his gaze glued to the floor.

"Hm, I don't know," she bent her head from side to side, undecided. "I think I liked the second one better," she sighed, turning to where Sergio was sitting and raising her eyebrows at him expectantly. "What do you think?"

He looked up quickly and nodded before looking back at the tips of his shoes.

"You look beautiful."

Raquel frowned, confused by her fiancé's unusual and mechanical reaction.

"You didn't even properly look," she complained, pressing her lips together in a thin line.

"Raquel, we're already late," he said, casting an apprehensive look at his wrist watch.

She snorted, incredulous. "Sergio, what does it cost you to look?"

He took a deep breath, looking up at her, who simply raised an eyebrow in response. She was beautiful, but he didn't know what answer she expected from him.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked, exasperated.

Raquel nodded in silence, her face going from mere indignation to an expression that Sergio recognized perfectly – she was _pissed_.

"You know what?" She asked rhetorically, her tone as acid as a lemon slice. "I'm going to put on the second dress," she forced a smirk before turning to go up the stairs again. "You can go ahead and request the ride!"

Sergio cursed himself internally, realizing the mistake he had made.

Trying to control his anxiety, he took his phone out of his pocket and requested the ride. The estimate for the car arrival was the exact time Raquel came down the stairs in a low-cut burgundy silk dress that perfectly accentuated all her curves and Sergio felt the size of an ant when he saw her put on her high heels next to the front door. She put on her coat, took her bag and Cinci's backpack and called her godson. Then she took the little boy's hand as they headed for the car, leaving her fiancé standing there without even looking back at him.

The ride to Andrés' apartment was filled with strained silence. 

Sergio was visibly awkward but he did not feel comfortable talking to his fiancé in front of his godson, while Raquel tried to ignore Sergio's presence by making herself busy with her phone and answering only the questions and comments that Cinci or the driver made, as if Sergio didn't even exist.

Sergio felt his stomach twirl and his palms were sweaty – he hated it when she was like that with him and hated even more the fact that she was absolutely right this time. He preferred it when his disagreements with Raquel quickly unfolded into arguments – he could handle arguments and ugly glares, but he _definitely_ couldn't handle the treatment of silence and she knew it.

When they finally arrived at Andrés' apartment, Sergio felt his anxiety quadruple. The party, as chic and exaggerated as anything organized by his brother, was already full of acquaintances and strangers, a band playing and waiters pacing back and forth with hors d'oeuvres and drinks. Andrés and Martín soon appeared to talk to the three of them and Raquel greeted them politely until she saw Ágata approaching.

"Tia Ágs!" Cinci exclaimed, running over to the brunette who bent down to give him a tight hug.

"Cinci!" She grabbed him, picked him up and showered him with kisses. “Did you know that your tio Andrés rented several toys? Including a ball pit?”

"WHERE IS IT?" He asked, his eyes widening dramatically.

"Hola, amiga," Ágata raised an eyebrow at Raquel with complicity – she had already vented enough through text messages and the brunette knew that she needed some time without worrying about Cinci. "May I?"

"Claro," she said, forcing a smile and giving her a grateful look before narrowing her eyes in the direction of her godson. "Cinci, behave yourself, okay?"

"Shhh, don’t worry about her, we know what we’re doing," Ágata whispered to Cinci conspiratorially as they walked away, the two giggling like children plotting a secret plan.

"Andrés, where can I leave our things?" Raquel asked, lifting Cinci's backpack in one of her hands.

"In the hall, first guest room to your right," her brother-in-law replied, puzzled.

"Gracias," she murmured, turning her back to them without ceremony and walking towards the indicated room.

Martín looked curiously at Sergio. "What animal bit her?"

He sighed, shaking his head in silence before going after his fiancée like a dog with his tail between his legs. He found her in the room that Andrés had referred to, her and Cinci's belongings already resting on the wooden bench as she took off her coat.

"Raquel," Sergio called to her, closing the door behind him, but she couldn't even look at him.

"Sergio, I don't want to talk now," she mumbled, throwing her coat on the counter and walking over to him in an attempt to get through the door, but he put his hands on her waist and pushed her gently against one of the walls, pressing their bodies against each other and bringing his forehead against hers.

She kept her gaze down, avoiding looking him straight in the eye for fear of not being able to maintain her posture if she did. However, this meant that she was looking directly at his chest, which inflated and deflated at a pace compatible with the nervousness she imagined he was feeling and she _hated_ that even though she was upset with him, she didn't want to see him like this.

"Raquel..." He murmured, his hands light on her waist, as if he wanted to assure her that she could get out of there if she wanted to, but as much as Raquel wanted to deny him any proximity and leave him there, she couldn't. "I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning down to leave a kiss on her cheek in an attempt to disarm her.

"You were an idiot," she said quietly but in a firm voice.

"I know," he replied.

Sergio left a kiss on her neck and she closed her eyes, holding a sigh of pleasure that already seemed to be evoked naturally when he leaned over that sensitive spot. His lips trailed over her skin for a moment before he lifted his head and looked back at her, just as she opened her eyes to look at him.

"It's our first new year together in two decades," she whispered, her tone in a sadness that Sergio knew too well.

"I know," he brought his lips to her forehead, giving it a kiss before looking back at her.

She sighed. "I wanted to be dressed up for the occasion."

"You are always beautiful."

"Don't start with your tacky phrases," Raquel rolled her eyes, still impatient. "I'm not in the mood for them."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, dragging the tip of his nose down her nose.

She exhaled heavily, finally bringing her hands to his arms, stroking him lightly before looking back at him.

"What happened?" She asked genuinely.

Sergio shook his head, knowing that his answer would not please her. "You know I get worried about scheduled hours..."

"Not worried, _unbearable_ ," she countered, almost pouting in dismay.

"Yes," he nodded without any concern for his dignity. "Unbearable," he repeated. "And stupid enough not to mention that you look stunning."

"Hm," she hissed, pretending not to be entirely convinced, but one of her hands was already playing with the lapel of his jacket.

"You were stunning in all the clothes you wore," he tried again.

She shrugged, unabashed, and he took a deep breath, sliding his hands around her waist and pulling her close.

"Raquel," he called out to her and this time, when she looked at him, he could have sworn her expression was softer. More patient. More vulnerable. It gave him the confidence to tilt his head and bite her earlobe before whispering, "Whatever you choose to put on, I'll take it off by the end of the night."

Raquel felt her breath hitch and he gave her no respite, placing one of his legs between hers and pulling her around the waist again as she felt her intimacy drag down his thigh.

"I'm still upset with you," she scolded in a sly voice, her breath catching.

He trailed his kisses down her neck, then up to her jaw.

"How can I make you forgive me?" He asked between kisses.

"I'm sure you can think of something," she replied, closing her eyes when she felt him push her leg to her side and lift her dress up to slide his hand under the fabric. He couldn't help a growl of surprise and satisfaction when he felt her intimacy already uncovered and wet.

"If you were upset with me, why did you leave the house without panties?"

Raquel opened her eyes to look at him provocatively. "I didn't want the dress to be marked."

"Hm," he ran his tongue over her lips before penetrating her with a finger.

 _"Joder,"_ she hissed, leaning her head forward and wrapping her arms around Sergio's neck for better balance.

He curved his finger like a hook, pressing against a point that made her moan and rest her forehead on his shoulder.

Sergio raised his free hand to brush away the hair that fell on Raquel's face while using his thumb to stimulate her clitoris. He bit his bottom lip when she let out a heavy breath and dug her nails into the fabric of the jacket he wore.

For him, there was nothing more sensual than the expression that Raquel made when she felt pleasure – her eyes narrowly closed, her mouth ajar, the panting breaths she let out, the way her nose scrunched and her forehead wrinkled with each new stimulus.

He continued to tease her doubly, stimulating her clitoris and using his finger to penetrate her, Raquel's moans marking the intensity and speed of his movements.

"Sergio..." She sighed, biting her lower lip, and he replied by inserting another finger into her and pulsating his fingers there.

With each change of rhythm or angle he made, Raquel felt her body temperature rise in an almost delirious frenzy and within a few minutes she felt her back arch, her muscles tightening around Sergio's fingers and an incoherent moan escaping from her lips.

He pulled his fingers out slowly, lightly caressing her vulva with the tip of his middle finger as she recovered her consciousness. With her hands still around his shoulders, Raquel pulled him into a hug, wanting more than anything to feel his arms around her and his woody scent invading her lungs.

"Raquel..." Sergio whispered, leaving a soft kiss on her temple, and she knew that with those reticences, another apology was about to leave his lips.

"Shhh," she brought her fingers to his lips, opening her eyes to look at him fondly. "Vale," she replaced her fingers with her own lips, giving him a gentle kiss that got repeated over and over and over again.

When she managed to free herself from that embrace, however reluctant her decision was, she pulled him by the hand to the bathroom, where the two cleaned themselves while exchanging looks and complicit smiles in silence. Now, the comfortable silence that Sergio enjoyed so much between them had been restored.

“Cariño,” Raquel called out to him to adjust his red tie, smiling to herself as she realized that even though they hadn't matched their outfits, they had combined the colors.

She then adjusted the collar of Sergio's social blouse before snaking her arms around the back of his neck and kissing him slowly and lovingly, sealing the resolution between the two of them for good.

He broke into a relieved smile when she pulled away, entwining her fingers with his.

"Vamonos?" She asked, indicating the bedroom door with a tilt of her head.

When they returned to the party, Andrés and Ágata smiled as they acknowledged that they had sorted themselves out and were back to their status quo as a couple – that stupidly beautiful couple who couldn't go more than ten minutes without touching or kissing or exchanging a caress, even if one of them was focused on any other activity.

Ágata was not kidding when she said that Andrés rented several children's toys – there was a huge porch area that was dedicated to that and both Cinci and the caregivers were distracted by the children of Andrés and Martín's friends. Darko and Mirko joined their friends at one of the tables and Silene, Aníbal and Júlia were quick to arrive. They spent long hours laughing and talking, with a few small interruptions from Cinci who asked to drink water or go to the bathroom or see if there was anything to eat at the buffet table.

With only a few minutes left until midnight, Andrés turned on the television in the living room so that they could listen to the chimes of the bell located in Plaza del Sol, while several glasses were served to the guests with 12 green grapes in each.

Raquel called Cinci to join them for the countdown, while Sergio was using a knife to peel the 12 grapes that Cinci would try to eat to make the tradition easier for him.

"Nino, are you going to eat the grapes too?" Cinci asked, watching his godfather finish peeling the last grapes out of his glass.

“I–” Sergio tried to answer, before being interrupted by his fiancée.

"Yes, he will!" She exclaimed, squeezing her godson and leaving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Raquel!" Sergio laughed, arching his eyebrows.

"Sergio, it’s our luck on the line, we need to guarantee it!" She shrugged. "We are all going to play, even your tio Aníbal brought his Lacasitos," she pointed with her chin at the youngest group member, making a disapproving face.

"What?" Aníbal frowned, leaving the twelve units of his candy on the table to look at Raquel. "I don't like grapes, what do you want me to do?"

"People who don't like grapes are weird," Cinci declared, imitating the grimace that his godmother made towards the man.

"I think so too, Cinci," Ágata conceded and Julia, beside her, nodded affirmatively at the little one.

"Oye, here we go," Silene exclaimed excitedly when they announced that it was only twenty seconds before midnight.

"Are you guys ready?" Andrés asked, resting his champagne flute for the first time that night.

The group looked at the television screen as the hands of the clock approached the number twelve and then everything happened very quickly – Martín started to eat the grapes a few bells before the traditional twelve, which made Andrés laugh and miss the first chime of the bell himself; Darko and Mirko started to simply stick all the twelve grapes in their mouth without chewing, as if they were in a competition for those who could eat more hot dogs; Silene, Julia and Aníbal started to laugh pointing at Ágata’s squirrel cheeks, who was taking the whole thing very seriously; and Raquel was torn between paying attention to Cinci and holding back her laughter when she realized that Sergio was almost choking.

When everyone finally finished swallowing their grapes – and, in Aníbal’s case, his candy – they shared laughter between hugs and New Year's greetings, Cinci and Ágata doing a special handshake to celebrate the fact that they managed to eat all of their grapes at the same time that Andrés opened a new bottle of champagne for everyone to toast.

"Hey, Cinci," Darko caught the little boy's attention. "You’re a newbie, I ate the twelve grapes with their skins on!"

"I am not a newbie!" Cinci frowned in exasperation. "I ate the grapes, tio Aníbal is the newbie!"

Raquel laughed, tilting her head back before she noticed that Sergio was standing next to her, smiling as he watched her.

"Satisfied?" He asked in his fiancée's ear, sliding his hands around her waist.

"Yep," she nodded, turning to leave a kiss on his cheek. “Now we’re good. Our luck is settled for this year.”

"Not that I need any more luck than I already have," he replied.

She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. "Mmmm, sometimes you are so cheesy."

Sergio cocked an eyebrow. "Cheesy… or romantic?"

Raquel pretended to contemplate the question but the answer was already on the tip of her tongue.

"In your case, the two are the same," she raised her eyebrows, pulling him in for a kiss, and allowed herself to smile when her fiancé's laughter reverberated against her lips.

_Something in you put a hold on my heart  
_ _It's hard to believe now  
_ _Here in the place that will never be dark  
_ _I remember that place_

_The streets of Barcelona were busy now that it was past midnight, but Sergio and Raquel walked hand in hand along the shore, watching the waves coming and going and the people still spread out on the beach. It was after one o'clock in the morning and the beach was not as crowded as it should have been at the countdown, but there was still a reasonable number of people there._

_It was cold but no one there seemed to care. When they reached a ramp to climb down from the sidewalk to the sand, they walked to a spot near the rocks where they could stay with relative privacy, listening to the noise of the waves in the foreground and the sounds of conversation, music and cars passing further in the background._

_Sergio spread a sarong on the sand, placing a bag with their belongings nearby and sat on the fabric while watching Raquel approach the sea with her back turned to him. He saw her back arch even with the thick coat she wore, taking a deep breath, before she turned to him with a satisfied smile on her face._

_"We should have bought a bottle of champagne," she said, sitting between her boyfriend's legs and leaning her back against his chest._

_Sergio's arms automatically wrapped around her, pulling her even closer, and he left a kiss on her cheek before pulling out an extra blanket and a dark bottle from the bag he brought. He put the bottle in front of her and Raquel turned to face him with a surprised look._

_"When did you buy this?" She asked, taking the bottle from him and unscrewing the aluminum seal._

_"I brought it from Madrid," he replied. "Andrés gave it to us as a gift."_

_"If I ever complained about your brother, I don't remember," she laughed, pushing the cork out of the bottle until it popped._

_She reached out to pick up the cork that fell on the sand and, as she leaned against him, turned the bottle over in her mouth before handing it over to Sergio._

_He took a sip and handed the bottle back to his girlfriend. "Are you cold?"_

_"A little bit," she shrugged and, within a few seconds, felt Sergio wrap the extra blanket around her body before pulling even closer, certainly intending to warm her up as much as possible._

_She smiled and turned sideways into her boyfriend's legs and arms to face him, and he could only think about how beautiful she looked in the light of that waning moon. He looked at her, knowing that behind her caring gaze there was a question about to be asked._

_Just as he expected, she soon cuddled further with him, lifting a hand to caress his jaw at the same time she released a sigh._

_"Sergio," she whispered and he responded by dragging the tip of his nose over her temple and then placing a kiss there. "What you said in the bedroom... about wanting to spend the rest of your life with me..."_

_She paused, running her tongue over her lips, and Sergio felt the doubt hanging in the air._

_"I was serious," he hurried to say._

_Raquel smiled. "I know."_

_"If... if you want it too," he continued in a small voice, his heart beating as hard as a hammer in his chest._

_"Of course I do," she stretched her neck up to leave a kiss on his cheek. "What I was going to ask," and a kiss on his lips to ward off any last trace of insecurity, "was how you imagined this life."_

_"Oh," he brought a hand to adjust his glasses timidly. "I…"_

_"Come on, don't tell me you didn't plan out everything in your head," she nudged him, letting out a laugh that ended up with him joining her._

_The fact that she knew him so well was both a gift and a curse because he could neither deny nor say that she was wrong. He had already imagined everything._

_Taking a deep breath, he let his gaze search the horizon ahead of them, despite the fact that part of the beach was a little darker than the rest._

_“Well… we would finish college. You’d be hired in your internship and I would get my master's degree. That way we could live together and... and I could officially ask you,” he said, quietly._

_"Mmmm," she hissed in approval, rubbing her nose on his beard lovingly. "Would we get married after you defended your dissertation?"_

_He lowered his face to look at her with a twinkle in his eye. One of the things he loved most about Raquel was how easy it was for her to understand him. Sometimes she had to make an effort to understand something he did or said, sometimes they argued until she understood his point of view, even if she disagreed with him, but for the most part, she simply understood him naturally._

_At that moment, he felt his chest warm up in a way he couldn't explain. More than understanding what he had imagined, she seemed to speak as if they had already shared their ideas about their futures together._

_"Sí" was all he managed to say, still incredulous._

_"A big party for everyone to know that we officialized what they already knew," Raquel laughed, rolling her eyes. Ágata and Mónica kept saying that the two of them already seemed married most of the time._

_“And for Andrés and Laura to run everything for us,” Sergio added, smiling._

_“Did you say run or ruin?” She teased, making them both laugh. "We're going to some Caribbean or Southeast Asian beach on our honeymoon," she announced, leaving a kiss on his neck. "And you will be approved for a doctorate shortly thereafter."_

_The change in the verb tense did not go unnoticed by Sergio. She spoke with such conviction that there was no longer any room for uncertainty in his mind either._

_"And you’ll be approved in one of those cultural management post-grads," he suggested, squeezing her waist and making her giggle._

_"And then?" She looked at him with anticipation, curious about the idea of what awaited them in her boyfriend's imagination._

_“Then… it will be you and me,” Sergio whispered._

_She bit her bottom lip, unable to contain her expectation._

_"Just you and me?"_

_He raised his eyebrows. "Me and you and... more of us?"_

_She nodded, opening a smile. "Our family."_

_Sergio felt a huge smile surge on his face and leaned in to leave a sweet kiss on his girlfriend's lips._

_"It seems that I wasn't the only one planning everything," he laughed, leaning his forehead against hers._

_"I learned from the best," she murmured._

_He took a deep breath, closing his eyes._

_"I can't wait to have it all with you," he murmured back._

_"Mmhmm," she agreed, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips. "But until then, this is perfect."_

_That kind of touch, electricity of love  
_ _That certain kind of grace  
_ _That you love because you become  
_ _someone else in an instant_

The traffic in Madrid was light as they returned home. It was almost five in the morning and Cinci had finally slept around three on Andrés' couch. He was exhausted, but he refused to stand down while all the adults continued talking and drinking. Finally, Sergio convinced him to watch a series on his phone and he ended up falling asleep on his godfather's lap during the party.

When they got home, Raquel opened the door for Sergio to walk in with the little one in his arms, taking off his shoes awkwardly before climbing the stairs to leave him in his bed. She followed them after leaving her coat and shoes near the front door and left a kiss on Cinci's forehead after Sergio covered him with his comforter. He was so tired that he didn't even notice the change from one environment to another.

Sergio and Raquel exchanged a knowing look and a loving smile before leaving his room in the direction of the master suite. They entered the room together, engaging in their nocturnal habits in a comforting silence. Sergio got rid of his tie, jacket and socks, taking them to the laundry basket in the bathroom.

When he returned to the bedroom, he allowed himself to watch his fiancée standing before the dressing table, as beautiful as ever, placing the necklace she was wearing on the counter.

"Sergio," Raquel asked, taking her earrings off her ear as she looked at him through the mirror.

"Hm?"

"How much is twenty times three hundred and sixty-five?"

Sergio frowned at her, unsure of the reason for the multiplication at that moment. "Seven thousand and three hundred."

She nodded silently, considering the number and taking the rings out of her fingers and then placing them on the dressing table along with the earrings.

"Why?" He asked, eyes narrowed still trying to understand the reason behind this seemingly random question.

Raquel shrugged, letting out a breath.

"I wanted to know how many nights of sex we missed."

He laughed, shaking his head incredulously. "For any specific reason besides torturing us with that number?"

"Just to have a parameter..." She said, moving closer and sliding her hands around his neck. "It seems like we have a lot to make up for."

"Oh," he smiled, looking at her calmly and letting his hands find her waist.

Raquel tilted her head, cocking an eyebrow suggestively.

"Unless… you’re not interested?" She started to move away from him, but Sergio was faster and pulled her body against his.

"No, no, no, I am _very_ interested," he assured her. "I am one hundred percent interested."

"A hundred percent? Because there was so much talk about taking my clothes off earlier… You’re not doing anything about it right now,” she teased, turning on her back and looking at him over her shoulder with anticipation.

Sergio smiled, swallowing hard before slowly unzipping her dress. Raquel let the dress fall at her feet on the floor, leaving her completely naked. She felt her fiancé's fingertips continue to run down her spine and had to hold her breath when a shiver traveled throughout her body.

She turned, taking her hands to his dress shirt to undo his buttons one by one, slowly. She dropped the shirt on the floor, next to her dress, before unbuckling his belt and opening his pants. The desire they felt for each other, especially the desire to reconnect physically after the earlier discussion, was so great at that moment that neither of them dared to verbalize one thought. No words were needed, all they needed was to feel their bodies against each other.

Raquel pulled him in for a slow kiss, which turned into a kiss more intense and voracious, and when she realized it, they were already in bed, with Sergio thrusting her slowly and deeply before establishing a faster and stronger rhythm. She came first, groaning Sergio's name as if it were her own breath, and he emptied himself inside her soon after, unable to hold himself when he saw her indulging in the pleasure they had built up together.

They spent a few minutes kissing and caressing themselves lazily as they steadied their breaths, until she stretched out on the bed to press a switch and turn off the lights. Sergio pulled the blanket over them both while Raquel curled up in her favorite sleeping position – on top of him, her ear against the chest of the man she loved, with his arms around her waist and his hand caressing her hair.

“Te quiero, cariño,” Raquel whispered, her fingers drawing abstract patterns on her fiancé's chest.

Sergio smiled, leaving a kiss on the top of her head. "Siempre."

"Siempre."

_Say you will, say you will give me one more chance  
_ At least give me time to change your mind  
 _That always seems to heal the wounds  
If I can get you to dance_


	19. Presente

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola, cariños 🥰
> 
> I hope this chapter finds you well as it is the penultimate chapter of this story!
> 
> The song used here is "Conversations in the Dark", by John Legend, and you can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG
> 
> Can't wait to hear your thoughts :)

_Talk  
_ _Let's have conversations in the dark  
_ _World is sleeping, I'm awake with you  
_ _With you_

 _  
Watch  
_ _Movies that we've both already seen  
_ _I ain't even looking at the screen, it's true  
_ _I got my eyes on you_

Raquel could feel the sea air completely invade her lungs.

She felt the sea breeze ruffle her hair but she didn't care. On the balcony of that small bungalow, it was just them and that beach, in a place so remote from the rest of the island that it seemed that it belonged only to the two of them.

The dawn light in its various shades of blue and the white clouds that spread across the sky adorned the horizon as if it were an expressionist painting. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to absorb every sound she could hear – the waves of the sea breaking on the sand, the wind swaying the leaves of the trees, the birds humming the arrival of the morning.

She wanted to remember _everything._

She spent some time like that, just listening. Absorbing. Storing everything away for safekeeping.

Then she heard the sound of footsteps behind her, those slow, steady steps that she was already so used to, and she smiled, still with her eyes closed.

She felt the heat of Sergio's body close behind her and one of his hands pulled her hair to her left, exposing her right shoulder. She craned her neck to give him more space and he took the opportunity to push down part of the silk robe she wore, exposing the skin of her shoulder to sprinkle kisses there, his beard tickling the sensitive area.

Raquel chuckled, opening her eyes again and resting her back against his chest, one of her hands reaching for the back of Sergio's neck to caress his hair gently. In response, he slid his hands around her waist, pulling her even closer.

"What is this miracle? What woke you up so early?" He asked between kisses before reaching the spot below her ear where she loved having him pay attention to.

"I wanted to watch the sunrise," she replied, letting out a long breath when he nibbled her earlobe gently.

"And you didn't wake me?" Sergio asked, his tone riddled with sadness.

Raquel turned inside his embrace to face him. He was still without his glasses and his eyes were slightly swollen from sleep but she thought to herself that this was one of her favorite expressions – she liked to classify that expression as the relaxed face after a good night of sleep by her side – definitely tied up there with his expression when he smiled, his eyes almost disappearing from his face.

"Cariño, you were sleeping so adorably that I didn't want to wake you," she pouted, snaking her hands around his neck. "Especially given how much I tired you last night," she added, now making room for a satisfied expression, her eyebrows raised in approval.

Sergio laughed, holding her even closer.

"I’ll never get tired of you," he replied and she rolled her eyes even though she was smiling. "And I woke up anyway," he sighed, leaning down to kiss her left cheek. "Do you know why?"

"Hm?" She hummed just as he leaned in to kiss her right cheek.

Then he left a lingering kiss on Raquel's forehead and she felt a cozy warmth spread throughout her body.

"I don't know how to sleep without you anymore," he admitted as if he was telling her a secret.

It had been almost a year since they had returned to each other's lives and just over ten months that they had inevitably come together again. Yes, they had decided – lying embraced during one of the many occasions they talked late into the night – that this was all inevitable, because what Raquel had said when they kissed on her birthday was true.

There was no one else for them.

She looked at him and for an instant she didn't know what to do with the amount of love she felt for that man. She felt her eyes water and used her thumbs to caress his face and he was looking at her with such affection that he seemed to be thinking the same thing.

Maybe he was.

Raquel closed her eyes and pulled him in for a slow kiss, hoping that small act would make up for everything she couldn't put into words. Because, as much as they said it to each other, the words "I love you" did not seem to be enough to encompass everything they felt.

He responded by parting his lips open, spreading a hand on her lower back and pressing her body against his. They spent some time like that, just kissing, feeling their breaths and their tongues mixing as they counted on the sounds of nature that surrounded them as their own personal soundtrack.

Sergio slid his hands over her ass, squeezing it over the thin fabric of the robe and making her laugh reverberate against his mouth.

"What?" He asked, smiling back.

"I thought I actually tired you last night," she chuckled, leaving a kiss on his lips. "But I see you aren’t tired at all."

He shook his head, his lips brushing hers.

"Let's solve this, huh?" She arched her eyebrows suggestively.

Sergio nodded silently, making her laugh again, and when he lifted her off the floor, she let out a surprised yelp, quickly wrapping her legs around his waist. They exchanged gentle kisses as he took her back to bed until he laid her carefully on the mattress, resting a hand near her head to pull his body away from hers and undo the lace of the silk robe she was wearing.

The fabric slid away from her core, falling to her sides and revealing that body that Sergio was already so familiar with and that he never seemed to get tired of admiring. Raquel observed him with anticipation, her breathing already labored from imagining everything that was yet to come.

He pressed his body over hers to kiss her lips and she let her fingers slide into Sergio's hair before caressing his shoulders and back. He trailed kisses down her jaw, then her neck, her collarbone...

Raquel let out a shaky breath, burying the tips of her nails in his back as he now kissed down the valley of her breasts, leaving a kiss on each one of the spots she carried on her lap.

Sergio used one of his hands to stroke the side of her body with his fingertips, drawing random patterns as if his fingerprints could trace verses of poems into her pores.

He dragged his lips over Raquel's left breast before bringing her already hardened nipple into his mouth – first grazing his teeth lightly over the sensitive skin, then circling it with his tongue, until he sucked it, making a little groan escape her lips.

She responded by bending her right leg to rub her shin against the fabric of his boxer shorts making him lift his face and close his eyes with the sensory stimulation. She smiled, pleased with his reaction.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, leaning over Raquel's right breast to repeat the same movements.

She let out a small sigh when she felt his kisses trail down her stomach but he stopped on his tracks to kiss the scar from her surgery, faded by time but still present.

Latent.

There was not a time he did so that she didn’t feel tears form in her eyes.

For a while after they had gotten back together, he avoided touching her there, for fear that it might make her cry or, worse, drive her away again.

Then one late night, after having sex, he was looking at her while his fingers traced long paths along her naked body. He ran his fingertips along the entire length of her belly, except for her scar.

 _"It won't hurt me if you touch it,"_ Raquel had told him in a small voice, noticing how his gaze fell on that scar, a medium line a little lighter than the rest of her skin.

He had hesitated but took his fingertips to caress her slowly, gently, almost as if he wasn't actually touching her... As if he wanted to make sure that when he touched her there, she wouldn't feel any pain.

Sergio felt his eyes fog up and looked up to realize that she was also overflowing with all that emotion, her eyes watering just as much as his.

That night they spent long minutes in silence, just allowing themselves to feel everything they needed. They cried, laughed, kissed and exchanged whispered vows of love in the still of the night.

Raquel felt her heart was heavy and light at the same time – _that's how it should have been._

Both of them sailing through the pain and healing together. Sometimes she hated herself for not staying but, in that moment, she was just happy they were together again. She made him promise that he would not hesitate to touch her or kiss her there when he felt like it and told him that scar did not belong only to her but to both of them.

Raquel also seemed to remember that same night and brought a hand to his hair, caressing it gently. She was the only one of them who carried a scar on their bodies but she knew he felt it as much as she did. She knew neither of them was going anywhere.

She felt lost for an instant until she was faced with an absurd need to feel his body pressed against hers, to have his lips pressed against hers once again...

She gently tugged at his hair and brought his face up to leave a soft kiss on his lips.

"Estoy contigo," she whispered, anchoring him back to that moment.

Sergio smiled, nodding in agreement.

"Come here," she asked in a husky voice, playing with the waistband of his boxers and making him look back at her with that carnal desire that had disappeared for a moment to be replaced by a tender and loving look.

He seemed to regain his focus and looked at her with fire in his eyes as he knelt on the floor at the foot of the bed and pulled her down by the waist. Raquel rested her feet on the ground and felt Sergio's hands spread her legs open so that he could fit better between them.

Sergio began to alternate between leaving wet kisses and dragging his beard on Raquel’s inner thighs, making her sigh with each of his movements.

When he finally reached her core, he slid the tip of his tongue from the bottom up, stopping just before her clit. He repeated the movement over and over again, making her sigh impatiently. When he finally reached her clitoris, the tip of his tongue circled in place slowly stimulating her. She let out a sly moan and, with that cue, he started sucking on her clit, actively making her moan.

With the tip of his index finger, he began to stimulate her entry and Raquel couldn't help but start to move her hips.

"Mhm," she moaned, bringing a hand to his head to keep him there, as if he had any intention of being anywhere else.

Sergio inserted a finger inside her, making her moan loudly as he continued to suck on her throbbing clit. He continued to alternate the intensity and rhythm of suction as he slowly penetrated her with his finger, drawing small circular patterns and skillfully stimulating her from the inside as well.

Raquel knew that if he stayed there, she would definitely come in a few minutes, but what she most wanted at that moment was to feel his weight on top of her, the heat that emanated from his skin, his gaze glued to hers. So she tugged his hair lightly, drawing his attention and making him look at her.

"Sergio, I want you," she murmured.

He nodded silently and stood up, taking off his boxers and feeling Raquel brush her toes along his leg. He looked at her as she moved upwards on the mattress and bit her lower lip, looking at him in anticipation, and Sergio didn’t take long to get up on the bed, leaning his body over hers and giving her a slow kiss.

She used a hand to caress his erection and let out a heavy breath when she realized that he was already profusely aroused. She didn't think twice about placing the tip of his cock at her entrance, reluctantly pulling away from that kiss to look at him anxiously. He reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers, and Raquel felt she could burst out of love right then and there. When Sergio penetrated her, slowly filling her, she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand.

Raquel felt her husband trail wet kisses down her neck and, fluttering her eyelids open again, caught him staring at her. She wanted to smile but before she could do it he started to thrust her slowly and she lost any control she had over her expressions. She let out a groan that was stuck in her throat and bit her bottom lip, her breathing already labored.

With her free hand, she buried her nails in his shoulder’s skin, in a silent sign that she wanted more because by then she had lost all coherence to speak. He obeyed, starting to thrust into her at faster and harder.

Before he could realize it, Raquel reversed their positions, sitting on top of him and moving her own hips as he continued his thrusts.

Sergio brought his thumb to her swollen clit, stimulating her while she moved and moaned loudly, panting and arching her back. It didn’t take long before he could see the orgasm take over her and listening to his wife's loud moan as she came, he surrendered to his climax as well.

She lay down on him, tired, and buried her face in the curve of his neck. Sergio stroked her back while their hands, still intertwined, helped them feel each other's warmth.

Raquel lifted her head, supporting it in one hand so she could look at Sergio. He, in turn, took their clasped hands to his lips, kissing the wedding band she now wore next to the engagement ring on her left hand. Raquel smiled, running her free hand through his hair before bringing their joined hands to her lips, mirroring his affectionate gesture and kissing her husband's left ring finger over his wedding band.

Then she shook her head in disbelief.

Sometimes it was still absurd to think that, in all the turns their lives took, they were now fulfilling the plans they had made two decades earlier.

It was absurd and yet the most natural circumstance in the world.

As if all of their lives were leading them to that moment.

She remembered the slender boy she made friends with at the age of 11 and laughed.

"What?" He asked, a smile spreading throughout his face when he saw her so relaxed and happy.

"You’re my husband," she said, her smile expanding even more, turning into a laughter that infected him as well.

He laughed, letting go of Raquel's hand to caress her face with the back of his fingers.

He brought their faces closer, letting the tip of his nose brush over hers before giving her a gentle kiss.

"Mi mujer," he whispered against her lips. "Te quiero."

"Y yo a ti," she replied, rubbing the tip of her nose over his. "Siempre."

"Siempre," he repeated, lying on the bed and pulling her into a tight hug.

Then Raquel realized that that was it. That was the only thing she could do with all her love for him – let it express itself in each of her words, each of her actions, each of her caresses and gazes.

Moment after moment, day after day, every day. That was the promise they had made. For the rest of their lives, until death do them part.

Thus, there would be no risk that that love would no longer fit inside her.

She just needed to let herself overflow.

_And you say that you're not worth it  
_ _You get hung up on your flaws  
_ _Well, in my eyes you are perfect  
_ _As you are_

Raquel had her hair tied up in a bun, using a wooden stick that she and Sergio had bought with a friendly woman at a local fair. She had her phone against her ear, biting her bottom lip as she paced the bungalow. Sergio was lying in the hammock reading a book, his eyes now and then falling on his wife as if she were a magnet attracting his attention constantly.

"Hi, Agustín," she said, stopping her anxious pace around the room for an instant. “Yes, everything is great here, we just got back from a walk. How are you?” She smiled as she listened to him report how things were with Cinci and he must have asked if she would like to talk to the little one because soon afterwards, Raquel was already smiling anxiously. "Yes, I would love to, please..." She said, running a hand over the back of her neck before her smile completely faded. “Oh. No, that’s alright. I'll call you guys later. Tell him we're sending him a kiss,” she continued, unable to contain the expression of sadness that came across her face. "Okay, thank you! You too."

Sergio closed his book and put it on the floor when he saw her hang up.

"Is everything alright?"

Raquel turned her face to look at him, unable to hide her disappointment.

"Yes, Agustín said he was distracted playing with Ágata and Julia," she shrugged, giving him a wistful smile.

"This is good, isn't it?" He replied, arching his eyebrows, but his wife didn't seem to be listening to him. "We can make a video call later tonight," he continued, getting up from the hammock. "Raquel…"

"Hm?"

"He's fine, that's what matters," Sergio said, trying to make her look on the bright side. "We thought it was going to be more difficult, remember?"

"Sí..." She nodded, taking a deep breath. "But I thought he was going to miss us a little..."

"Of course he does," he replied, giving her a smile.

"I know... I know," she left her phone on the table and felt Sergio's arms slide around her waist, pulling her against his body.

"So why don't we enjoy the trip, mi amor?" He asked, brushing her hair aside to kiss her neck. "I can think of at least three things that we could be doing right now."

"Three things, cariño?" Raquel asked, smiling, and closed her eyes when he kissed that blessed specific spot below her earlobe. "Do any of them involve having sex with me in that bed?"

Sergio laughed and his laughter reverberated on her skin, giving her a mix of infectious affection and chills down her spine. "They _all_ involve having sex with you in that bed."

"Oh," she laughed, taking a hand to sew her fingers through his hair. "In that case... _only_ three things?"

He lightly nibbled the skin on the curve of her neck. "For starters…"

"Hmmm, you can start then," she asked, smiling and turning around in his arms.

Sergio leaned in to capture her lips in a slow, sensual kiss. "With pleasure..."

_I will never try to change you, change you  
_ _I will always want the same you, same you  
_ _Swear on everything I pray to  
_ _That I won't break your heart_ _  
  
_

_I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely  
_ _Keep the secrets that you told me, told me  
_ _And your love is all you owe me  
_ _And I won't break your heart_

When they were planning their honeymoon, two weeks seemed like an ideal amount of time for them to spend together in Palawan. Neither had considered, however, that they had not been separated from Cinci for so long since they had been assigned to be his legal guardians.

Although they were constantly busy between tourist activities and the time they spent with each other, it was common for their godson to be missed at the end of the day, when, instead of returning to their home and being welcomed by a tight hug from Cinci and Choco’s excited licks, the two returned to the silent and empty bungalow rented for their stay.

They had spent a few days between El Nido, Puerto Princesa and Manila, where they made several trips – hikes to waterfalls, days in some of the lagoons of crystal clear water, a trip to a lagoon located inside a cave and took a day to go on a boat trip around Coron Island to dive among the abundant coral reefs and the remains of Japanese ships wrecked there.

While Sergio was fascinated by the historical curiosities of the places they passed by and the variety of species of local fauna and flora, Raquel let herself be carried away by the stunning landscapes and the contact with the local residents, who graciously endeavored in talking to the couple despite the language barriers. The two ventured into certain dishes from the local cuisine – and thought of Cinci when they tried Halo Halo, a shaved ice dessert with condensed milk and other additional ingredients like sweetened beans, jams and fruits – although neither of them had the courage to try Balut, a fertilized duck egg considered an aphrodisiac by locals.

Despite the longing they felt for their godson, they spent the hours of their days and nights talking, laughing and exchanging looks and caresses when they were not surrounded by people. More than anything, this trip marked the beginning of a new cycle for both of them, the first time they spent more than a day truly alone since they had resumed the relationship between them, without any concern other than each other's company.

So, on the last night they spent in Palawan, they decided to order dinner in their room. They ate on the veranda, drinking wine and listening to the sound of the ocean waves, and, after the meal, they snuggled in the outside hammock together, embracing and exchanging lazy caresses while enjoying the back and forth swings lulling them to a relaxing state.

“Raquel,” Sergio called out, making her turn her face to look at him, her eyes heavy with sleep. He smiled, taking his hand to her hair to give her a gentle caress. "You look even more beautiful with this tan."

She smiled, raising a hand to caress her husband's beard.

"You also got a nice tan, cariño," she replied, sighing heavily.

"I think your hair is lighter," he noted.

"It definitely is," she agreed, turning her face to leave a kiss on Sergio's chest.

She looked up at him again and the two spent a few moments in silence, just looking at each other affectionately, his fingers massaging Raquel's scalp while she was sliding her hand up and down his arm.

"What is your favorite memory from the trip?" She asked, biting her lower lip and watching Sergio frown, focused on the answer to that question.

"This one," he decided, reaching his free arm around her waist and pulling her against him.

 _"This one?"_ Raquel laughed, puzzled. "Why this one?"

"Because now I can remember everything we've done together on this trip and you're right here with me," he explained calmly. "And because tomorrow, by now, we will be doing this at home with Cinci."

She smiled, pleased with his answer.

"All we’re going to be missing is this hammock..." She sighed, adjusting her position to keep her face pressed to his, the tips of their noses almost touching with how close they were.

"We can fix that," he suggested, making her arch her eyebrows.

"We can?" She put her hand around Sergio's neck, stroking her fingers over his exposed skin.

"Sí."

"Cinci will like that," Raquel smiled.

Sergio nodded, mirroring her smile. "I'm sure he will."

"Me too," she murmured, bringing her lips to his in a slow kiss that tasted of red wine.

The two weeks were almost over but at least they still had the rest of their lives together.

_On  
_ _Sunday mornings we sleep-in 'til noon  
_ _Well, I can sleep forever next to you  
_ _Next to you_ _  
  
_ _And we  
_ _We got places we both gotta be  
_ _But there ain't nothing I would rather do  
_ _Then blow off all my plans for you_

 _And you say that you're not worth it  
_ _And get hung up on your flaws  
_ _But in my eyes you are perfect  
_ _As you are  
_ _As you are_

When they arrived from their trip, they found Mariví, Agustín and Cinci waiting for them at the airport terminal and the little one ran out as soon as he saw his godparents go through the automatic doors that separated them.

Sergio and Raquel hugged and kissed the little boy, who was already talking excitedly about the things he had done with his grandparents and everything they were going to do together now that the two had returned from their trip. The couple greeted Mariví and Agustín, who watched the scene with smiles plastered on their faces.

Cinci was telling them about the day he slept at Ágata's house and she and Julia set up a tent with sheets in the living room.

“It was huge! Bigger than abuelo's car!" He gestured with his arms.

"Really?" Raquel asked, grabbing him to give him a smacking kiss on his cheek and picking him up on her lap while Agustín helped Sergio with the luggage cart.

"Abuela saw the photos!" He exclaimed excitedly, pointing at Mariví.

Raquel looked at her mother with wide eyes – _he called her abuela._ Mariví smiled, teary eyed, and Raquel turned to Sergio only to realize that he was already smiling, having watched the whole scene silently.

"Well, then you’ll have to teach us how to make this giant tent," Raquel declared, looking back at her godson. "Do you know who's really good at this kind of thing?"

"Who?" Cinci asked, frowning in curiosity.

"Your nino," she replied, and both she and Cinci shot Sergio a suggestive look as he smiled shyly.

"We can make it together, nino!" The little one suggested. "But we are going to need a lot of sheets."

"I think we can manage that," Sergio nodded and Cinci smiled confidently.

As they walked, Raquel wrapped her free arm around Sergio's waist and he put an arm around her shoulders – it was then that she saw, for a millisecond, the backs of Agustín and Mariví's hands rub as they walked further on, the older woman laughing at something Agustín must have said.

Raquel exchanged a corner look with her husband, curious as to if he had also seen that interaction.

"Sergio, did you see...?" She asked in a whisper not to get her mother's or Agustín's attention.

"I saw it," he widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows in response, holding back a smile.

Cinci looked from one adult to the other, confused by that interaction – why were they whispering as if they were telling a secret?

"See what, nino?" He asked, frowning.

Sergio opened his mouth hesitantly, not sure what to say. “Th… The bird! Right there!”

Raquel tried to hold back a laugh as Cinci furiously turned on her lap to snoop in the direction pointed by his godfather.

"Where is it?" The little boy asked, frustrated when he found no birds in sight at the indicated place.

"Oh, I think he's already flown away, Cinci," Raquel replied, offering the boy a sad pout before giving him another kiss on the cheek.

"Oh..." He sighed, his gaze downcast until he remembered something important and looked up to look at his godparents, anticipation making his eyes sparkle. "Did you buy any gifts for me?"

_I will never try to change you, change you  
_ _I will always want the same you, same you  
_ _Swear on everything I pray to  
_ _That I won't break your heart  
_ _I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely  
_ _Keep the secrets that you told me, told me  
_ _And your love is all you owe me  
_ _And I won't break your heart_

 _When no one seems to notice  
_ _And your days, they seem so hard  
_ _My darling, you should know this  
_ _My love is everywhere you are_

With the help of Agustín and Mariví, Sergio and Raquel were able to get home, unpack their bags and take a decent shower while the eldest entertained Cinci and ordered pizza for all of them to have dinner. After eating and saying goodbye to Agustín and Mariví – not before Raquel made a suggestive comment in her mother's ear, which made her pinch her daughter’s waist slightly – the two gave Cinci the gifts they brought him.

Finally, after a movie, they convinced their godson that the day had been tiring and that if they went to bed soon, the next day would come faster and they could do everything they had agreed to. So, after putting Cinci to sleep, the two were already in their bedroom, getting ready to do the same.

"Mmmm, cariño, don't get me wrong, our trip was perfect," Raquel declared as she leaned over the bed, pulling the covers down. "But it's great to be home."

He approached her, sliding his hands around his wife's waist, making her smile. "Have I already told you that anywhere with you is like being home?"

"Sergio..." She turned around in his arms, raising her hand to show him her rings. "I'm sorry, I'm already married."

"Mmm, he must be a very lucky man," he considered, arching his eyebrows. "I hope he makes you very happy."

Raquel shrugged and frowned, making a frustrated expression, but put her hands around his neck despite her fake consternation.

"He’s okay," she replied nonchalantly, making Sergio laugh.

"Oh, really?"

"Nino... Nina..." Cinci entered the room dragging his favorite blanket behind him and the two adults looked at him affectionately.

"Hola, mi amor," Raquel smiled, one hand sliding down Sergio's chest to gently caress him.

Cinci gave them his best performance, his eyes shining, a crooked smile on his face that his godparents already knew as the back of their hands.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Sergio and Raquel looked at each other, exchanging a knowing smile before looking back at the little one, who waited anxiously for the answer, distributing his weight incessantly from one foot to the other.

"Sure, cariño, come here," Raquel replied, lying on the bed. Sergio went around the mattress to lie down next to her as his godson climbed the bed to settle in between them.

Sergio smiled, nudging the boy with his index fingers.

"Lift your butt, Cinci," he asked, making the little one laugh and lift his hips accordingly. His godfather pulled the sheet to cover the boy's legs and waist while his godmother adjusted the fabric around him.

"There, as tight as a package!" Raquel exclaimed, giving him a kiss on the cheek and lying on her side, hugging him. "We missed you so much, we couldn’t wait to come back and snuggle with you."

"Me too..." The boy confessed softly, making the couple smile. "Nino?"

"Yes?"

Sergio straightened himself on the bed, resting his elbow on the pillow and supporting his face in his hand, looking at the boy with an expression that overflowed with affection.

"Did you see sharks in Palawan?" Cinci asked, looking curiously at his godfather.

Raquel smiled.

She alternated her gaze between Sergio, who told their godson of all the animals they saw in the Philippines, and Cinci, who listened eagerly to his godfather, his eyes shining bright even though they were swollen with sleep.

Despite everything that got them there, she was satisfied with her life in a way she could never have imagined.

She was with her family.

She was home.

_I will never try to change you, change you  
_ _I will always want the same you, same you  
_ _Swear on everything I pray to  
_ _That I won't break your heart_

 _I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely  
_ _Keep the secrets that you told me, told me_  
 _And your love is all you owe me  
And I won't break your heart_

_I won't break your heart_


	20. Futuro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola, bonitas 🥰
> 
> Here we are with the final chapter of this story (once again 😂). This time is for real!
> 
> I hope you enjoy it – thank you so much for your unwavering love and support 🥺❤️
> 
> 🎵 This chapter's song is the song that gave me the idea for the title of this story – "Never Let Me Go", by Florence + The Machine. You can listen to it here: https://tiny.cc/NLMG

_Looking up from underneath  
_ _Fractured moonlight on the sea  
_ _Reflections still look the same to me  
_ _As before I went under_

 _And it's peaceful in the deep  
_ _'Cause either way you cannot breathe  
_ _No need to pray, no need to speak  
_ _Now I am under_

  
  


**Madrid, 12 years later**

"Sergio!" Raquel's voice echoed through the house, making him look over his shoulder in the direction of the living room.

"What?" He exclaimed back, returning his attention to the task in front of him and holding the handles of the pot with a dish towel to carefully turn it over a bowl.

He heard Raquel's footsteps on the wooden floor as she cruised the living room and then her voice resurfaced behind him, from the kitchen door.

"Can you make half of it with caramel?" She asked. He turned his face in time to see her approaching, giving him a sweet, toothy smile, hugging him from behind with her arms around his waist. Sergio smiled, putting the empty pot back on the stove.

"Salted caramel?" He asked, pulling her hands out in front of him and leaving a chaste kiss on her right hand.

"Mhm," Raquel confirmed, responding to his affectionate gesture with a kiss on the middle of his back before walking away. "I’ll take the wine."

Sergio spent a few minutes improvising a caramel sauce on the stove while Raquel opened the bottle of wine and took it, along with two glasses, to the coffee table in the living room. 

Every Friday night they would gather on the sofa to watch a movie, a habit that had started when Cinci was still a child and that since then had become a tradition and was only interrupted when one of the three had any other activity or unforeseen event.

That particular Friday, Cinci had gone to Túlio's house to play some new video game, which made Raquel declare that it was the perfect night for her and Sergio to watch _Dirty Dancing_ – not that he had any choice in the topic. Cinci and Raquel were _always_ in charge of the film selection.

She sat on the couch, pulled a blanket to cover her legs and it didn't take two minutes for Choco to get up from the corner of the room where he was lying and climb on the sofa, laying his head on Raquel's lap.

"Hola, gordo," she greeted him, stroking the dog's head as he pressed his muzzle into her hand, grateful for her caress.

Choco’s copper hair was already speckled with white and his muzzle was almost all gray. Sometimes Raquel found it hard to believe that both Cinci and Choco had grown up so much – it seemed like just the day Cinci was five, Choco was not much bigger than a puppy and the two of them ran after each other around the house.

"Here you go, mi amor," Sergio stepped into the room, turning off the light switch with his free hand and bringing the half-sweet, half-salted popcorn bowl in the other.

He also showed age marks on his face, like some new expression lines and his black hair now dotted with white hair. Raquel loved all versions of Sergio but this one – with his slightly gray, silky hair – had a special place in her heart, perhaps because she had seen this change day after day over the years. It was as if all those changes confirmed that the last 13 years were not a dream.

He sat next to Raquel, who pulled the blanket to cover his legs as well, and she pressed the play button before she cuddled up against her husband's body.

Those moments with Sergio were her favorites. Those where, relaxed in each other's arms, neither of them needed to worry about anything else. They watched the movie clinging to each other on the sofa, with Sergio always unconsciously stroking some part of her body – her leg, her waist, her arm, her hair.

Shortly after they were married, Raquel was talking to a friend from work about her decade-long marriage and she specifically remembered her friend telling her that, gradually, the romantic phase of their relationship was bound to be replaced by a phase marked by a friendly companionship but it would get less and less physical as the marriage went on, and Raquel wondered if her relationship with Sergio would have the same outcome.

However, that was not the case with the two of them. Of course, their marriage was not just about the good times – the two of them disagreed, argued and drove each other crazy every now and then but they made up, made each other laugh and comforted one another when the tears came. They became best friends again and remained so, even after all these years. The friendly companionship of which her friend spoke was always present but, for Raquel’s pleasure and certainly Sergio’s as well, they never quite left the romantic phase.

Perhaps the fact that they had spent so many years apart made them more aware that their second chance together was too good to be missed.

So Raquel continued to hug Sergio from behind when he was doing the dishes, leaving a trailing kiss on his shoulder when he was reading the news and sleeping in the same position that she got used to sleeping for half her life – on top of him, with an arm around his torso and one leg hooked between his.

And Sergio kept waking up Raquel with a kiss on her neck, holding her hand when they walked together down the street, caressing her whenever they were sitting or lying together and making the same spontaneous statements that she always told him were cheesy but, deep down, that she loved as much as she loved him.

When the movie was over, Raquel leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth and pulled away from his arms to stretch herself, still sitting on the couch, arching her back and stretching her arms as she let a yawn escape.

"What time is it?" She asked in a tired voice.

Sergio checked his watch before answering. "Ten twenty-seven."

She frowned, puzzled. "Hey, where's Cinci?"

"He didn’t say anything about coming home later?" He asked, getting up from the couch to take the bowl and glasses to the kitchen. "He might have decided to sleep there."

Raquel, in the meanwhile, had reached over the coffee table to get her phone.

"He didn't text," she said, looking through her messages. "I'll call him."

She clicked on Cinci's contact and waited for him to answer after a few rings but the call didn't go through. When Sergio returned to the living room, she was already on her second attempt.

"So?" He asked, arching his eyebrows expectantly.

"Nothing," she murmured, hanging up, lines of concern marking her forehead.

Sergio, eternally pragmatic, tried to ease his wife's anxiety.

"He must be distracted with the videogame," he said. "He’ll probably return the call in a little bit."

“Yeah," Raquel replied quietly but her intuition was not sitting well with this _at all._

He approached his wife, offering his hand with the palm facing up. She looked up at him, unable to hide her concern.

"Come on, I'm going to make us some tea," he said softly.

She placed her hand on his and stood up, a slight frown still crowning her eyes. Sergio left a tender kiss on her forehead and pulled her by the hand into the kitchen.

Raquel sat on one of the stools while Sergio prepared a chamomile lavender tea, her phone still in hand. Impatiently, her gaze alternated between the phone screen and all possible corners of the kitchen, eyes wandering from side to side without being able to concentrate on anything.

They had a deal. Cinci always came home before ten o'clock at night, unless they agreed on something else in advance or he warned his godparents if he was going to be late.

More than half an hour had passed since his usual time of arrival and they still hadn’t heard anything from their godson. Cinci could be a little airheaded from time to time but he was quick to return their calls and he was not an irresponsible kid.

She tried to send him text messages but they weren't being delivered. As if he had his phone turned off or as if he had no signal.

Raquel's mind was spinning rapidly, thinking about what might have happened and, as much as Sergio tried not to show it, his mind was on a whirlwind too.

_What if something had happened to him? What if he was mugged? What if he had an accident while he was biking home? What if…_

Raquel couldn't stand the questions in her head anymore so she tried to call him again.

When Sergio placed two cups of tea on the counter, she was already hanging up the call, once again straight to voicemail, and she started biting one of her nails.

"Sergio, I called again and nothing," she announced and then her eyes widened as if she remembered something obvious. "I'm going to call Marisol."

She looked for Túlio's mother's number in her contact list and didn't think twice before calling the woman.

"Mari?" She asked as soon as the woman answered. "Hi, how are you? Sorry for calling so late,” she paused, listening to her speak while Sergio watched her in silence. "Yes... It's just that I'm trying to talk to Cinci and I can't reach him, can you put him on the phone?"

Raquel forced a small smile to sound polite and friendly, hopefully unlike the tangle of anxiety she was feeling inside, but the smile soon faded from her face and was replaced by an expression that mixed indignation and concern.

"What?" She asked, holding back her exaltation to the fullest, but the vein that popped on her forehead when she was distressed was already prominent. "No..." She paused again, nodding silently as Marisol told her that she could ask her son if he had heard from Cinci. "Please, Mari."

Sergio reached for Raquel's hand across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze as he waited for her to hang up and go over what was going on, although he already suspected that her reaction was not a promising sign.

"Okay. Thank you,” she replied, quickly hanging up and looking at her husband, her chest already heaving with preoccupation. "Sergio, he didn't go to Túlio's house."

It was Sergio's turn to frown. "What do you mean?"

"He wasn't there, he didn't go there at all today!" Raquel exclaimed, nervous.

"Then where the hell is he?"

She shrugged and Sergio reached for his phone in his pocket, making another vain attempt while Raquel watched him in anticipation.

"Voicemail," he murmured, his gaze zigzagging across the room as he thought about what he could do.

"Get the car and drive around, maybe he's somewhere near," Raquel asked him, but he seemed to be frozen in front of her. "Sergio, _please,"_ she asked again and this time the desperation in her voice quickly caught the man's attention.

"Okay," he quickly agreed, putting his phone back in his pocket and making his way around the kitchen counter.

"I'll stay here and let you know if he arrives," she said when Sergio leaned in to leave a kiss on her cheek.

He was already halfway across the living room when he turned around to see her still sitting on that stool, biting one of her nails and staring at the phone screen as if she could invoke a call from Cinci with her mind.

"Raquel?" He called to her and, reluctantly, she peeled her eyes off her phone to look at her husband. "He’s fine. He'll be here soon,” Sergio tried to assure her, but what he offered was an uncertain smile and an equally concerned look on his face.

And without further ado, he took the car key from the table, grabbed his coat in the hall and went out the front door, facing that cold January night to look for his godson.

_Oh, and it's breaking over me  
_ _A thousand miles out to the sea bed  
_ _Found the place to rest my head_

 _Never let me go, never let me go  
_ _Never let me go, never let me go_

 _And the arms of the ocean are carrying me  
_ _And all this devotion was rushing over me  
_ _And the questions I have for a sinner like me  
_ _But the arms of the ocean deliver me_

When Sergio returned home, twenty minutes later, he found Raquel sitting on the first steps of the stairs with her phone in hand. She looked up at him, initially hopeful, but her countenance faded when she saw her husband looking down, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

He closed the door behind him, taking off his coat and sitting next to her on the step, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards him.

There, in her husband's arms, Raquel allowed herself to cry all the tears she was holding back. She felt Sergio caress her back gently, leave a kiss on top of her head and whisper, the weight of doubt dripping through his voice, that everything would be fine.

After a few minutes there, she wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater and took a deep breath.

"Let's get some water," Sergio murmured, rising with her from the stairs and walking next to her towards the kitchen, his arm still around her shoulders as if he could protect her.

When they reached the middle of the corridor, they heard the sound of keys and instantly turned towards the front door. And then the door opened, revealing Cinci coming home apparently intact and with his headphones still on his ears.

"Cinci!" Raquel exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief before allowing the annoyance take over her posture.

The boy looked at the two adults standing in front of him and took off his headset. He looked from one to the other, confused and unsure of what was happening.

Raquel crossed her arms in front of her. "Where were you?"

"At Túlio's," he replied, taking off his shoes with his own feet and leaving them turned over half a meter away from the shoe rack.

Normally, leaving his things lying around would be a reason to hear Sergio's complaints but at that moment, none of the adults seemed to be concerned about that. And Cinci could only think about how much he wanted to be in his room. He needed time alone to think.

"Don't lie to us, I called Marisol," Raquel countered, arching her eyebrows defiantly. "She said you weren't even there today, so where were you?"

“Why does it matter? I'm here, aren't I?!” Cinci answered sharply, turning his back on them and starting to walk up the stairs.

 _"HEY!"_ Raquel exclaimed, making the boy turn around to face them with an impatient expression.

"We are still talking to you," Sergio said, his eyes widening as if he was giving him a warning.

Cinci let out a frustrated growl and brought his hands over his face. “God, I just went out! I'm already home, what's the problem?”

 _"The problem,"_ Raquel emphasized, arching an eyebrow. "Is that _you lied_ to us and you still haven't told us where you were," she said, the words coming out of her mouth slowly as she tried to manage the tone of her voice. "Cinci, you won't go upstairs until you tell us where you were."

 _"What the fuck?!"_ Cinci exclaimed angrily, making even Sergio and Raquel surprised by his outburst and the aggressive use of the curse word. "You’re not the boss of me, you are not my mother!"

Raquel's lips parted but no sound came out of her throat. She could feel her eyes burning with tears that threatened to flood out of her at any moment.

Cinci was like any other teenager – he had his moments of rebellion and opposition. But _that?_ Nothing like that had ever happened.

Raquel was immobilized and Cinci was breathing hard, his gaze downcast as if he had realized the gravity of what he had shouted.

It was Sergio who managed to react, taking two steps forward to stand in front of his wife as some kind of human shield. He raised his left arm, pointing in the direction of the stairs.

"Cincinnati, go to your room!" Sergio ordered, in a tone of voice so grave that Cinci barely widened his eyes in shock. _"NOW!"_

Cinci didn't think twice. He turned his back to them and went up the stairs, each heavy step he took shaking the wooden boards, and Sergio only felt his alertness subside when he heard the teenager slam his bedroom door shut.

He turned around to find Raquel staring at the floor, tears escaping her eyes, and the first thing he did was to wrap his arms around her. She started to sob softly, burying her face in Sergio's chest as he held her close to him, as if that would be able to undo any of the pain she felt. He stroked Raquel's back while pressing his lips against the top of her head.

At that moment, he would have given anything to have been the object of Cinci's anger, he would have given everything so that his answer had been directed at him, he would have given anything not to see her like this.

_Though the pressure's hard to take  
_ _It's the only way I can escape  
_ _It seems a heavy choice to make  
_ _But now I am under, oh_

 _And it's breaking over me  
_ _A thousand miles down to the sea bed  
_ _I found the place to rest my head_

 _Never let me go, never let me go  
_ _Never let me go, never let me go_

As soon as Cinci closed the bedroom door, the tears he was holding back began to stream down his face. He dropped his backpack off his shoulders somewhere on the floor and buried his face in the pillow to let out a muffled cry.

He ran his hands through his hair, his breathing erratic as he tried to organize his thoughts and feelings, feeling the weight of the guilt of what he had just said to his godmother. Raquel might not be his biological mother – and she had never tried to replace Mónica, on the contrary, she always made a point of keeping her memory alive throughout his childhood and adolescence – but she was _also_ his mother.

Cinci couldn't even fathom how those words came out of his mouth, all he could think about was how he had fucked up.

If his godparents were not going to hate him for what he wanted to tell them, they surely should hate him now.

He spent a long time lying in bed, crying, until he heard a light knock on his bedroom door. Those rhythmic knocks belonged to his godfather, he was sure of it.

Cinci didn’t answer but neither did he complain when Sergio opened the door and entered his room, closing the door behind him.

The boy sat on his bed, wiping tears from his eyes and waiting for the sermon he would certainly – and deservedly – get.

However, Sergio was silent, standing in the middle of the room with his arms close to his body, and quietly took a deep breath.

He glanced at his godson, adjusting the glasses on his face.

"You know, when you were seven, one of your colleagues showed you some horror video on the internet," Sergio said, shaking his head. "I don't remember if it was a macabre clown or–"

"It was the Slender Man," Cinci interrupted him in a low, apologetic tone of voice. "The faceless man."

"Right," his godfather nodded. “You spent over two weeks unable to properly sleep. You had nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, you refused to be alone in the dark.”

The teenager swallowed. He remembered being scared but he didn’t remember those nights Sergio was recounting. It was all a blur on his memory.

"Raquel put a mattress here in your room to sleep with you every night because she didn't want you to be alone but she wanted you to get used to sleeping in your room again," Sergio continued. "Sometimes I came here in the morning and you were asleep on her mattress, clinging to her."

Cinci looked at the floor, unable to face his godfather.

"Do you know how you got back to sleeping in here alone?" He asked.

The teenager looked up at him and shook his head.

"She made an anti-monster spray," Sergio broke into a smile. “It was nothing more than a fixative and lavender essential oil but she told you that she bought it in a very secret magic store and that she had to pay a fortune because it was the last one in the stock, made with very rare and imported ingredients.”

Cinci felt the corners of his lip curl up in a small smile but soon fear came back to torment him – the fear of having ruined everything, the fear of losing his family, the fear of not being accepted. His fear of the Slender Man seemed silly when compared to everything he was feeling then and there.

"What you said to her was not fair, Cinci," Sergio declared in a calm but firm tone. “You know that as much as I do. I know you do.”

Cinci felt tears escape from his eyes again, leaving a warm trail of regret on his cheeks.

“Your parents raised you better than that. _We_ raised you better than that,” his godfather continued.

"I know," the boy finally answered in a small voice.

"So you know what to do," Sergio said.

Before leaving the room, he shot one last look at his godson and blew air into his lungs in a mixture of relief and sadness.

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me  
( _ _So cold and so sweet)  
_ _And all this devotion was rushing out of me  
_ _And the questions I have for a sinner like me  
_ _But the arms of the ocean deliver me_

 _And it's over and I'm going under  
_ _But I'm not giving up  
_ _I'm just giving in_

 _Oh, slipping underneath  
_ _So cold and so sweet_

When Sergio returned to the living room, he saw Raquel sitting on the rug between the sofa and the coffee table, a series of photo albums open in front of her. She held one of them in her hand, staring at the pictures as tears pooled in her eyes. He felt his heart break when he saw her like that – he would do anything to try to ward off that bad feeling that seemed to eclipse his wife's aura but he didn't know what to do.

Raquel looked up when she realized that he had entered the room, curious about the direction of his conversation with his godson but without the courage to ask the question out loud. Sergio offered her a weak smile before lowering his eyes and going to the kitchen, which made her understand immediately that the conversation had not gone well. She went back to looking at the memories they had collected on that particular album, which marked Cinci's fifth birthday and his first birthday that they spent together as a family.

She was so immersed in the photographs that she only realized Sergio was back in the living room when he rested a glass of wine on the table in front of her – the liquid filling up the glass just a finger below the rim. Raquel instantly understood that the glass was for the two of them to share. That, like everything in their lives, they would also share that distressing moment.

He sat behind her, with her between his legs, hugging her around the waist and pulling her hair sideways to press a tender kiss on her shoulder. Raquel let out a heavy breath and leaned her back against his chest, allowing herself to nestle there in the heat of her husband's body. She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling the tips of his fingers caressing her waist.

Sergio left a series of chaste kisses on her shoulder and neck, in an attempt to bring her back to her body at that moment, because he knew exactly where her mind was wandering off to and he wanted to get her out of that darkness as soon as possible.

"Don't you dare think that," he whispered in her ear.

Raquel bit her bottom lip, grazing her fingers on his arm’s exposed skin.

"Think what?" She asked, pretending not to understand him.

"That he is right."

She continued looking down, silently watching the hair on her husband's arm change directions as she moved her fingers from side to side.

"But he _is_ right," she replied quietly. "I am not his mother."

"Raquel..." Sergio scolded her, even though his tone was sweet and gentle. “He's seventeen. He doesn't think about half of what comes out of his mouth.”

He leaned against the sofa, pulling Raquel's body with him, and she brought her right hand to the back of his neck, sewing his hair with her fingers.

"You did," she murmured. "You thought of every word that came out of your mouth."

"Pero, bueno... We both know that I was not a normal teenager," he swayed Raquel's body from side to side, satisfied when he noticed that a small laugh escaped her lips.

She shifted on the rug, reaching for the wine glass from the table and leaning back against her husband, taking a large sip of wine before offering him the same glass.

Sergio took the cup from her hand, taking a sip and resting the glass cup on the floor, next to them.

"If you grant me the permission I will ground him until his prefrontal cortex fully develops," he assured her in a serious tone, dragging the tip of his nose across her shoulder’s exposed skin.

"Oh, really? And how long would that take? ” Raquel asked, curious.

"According to experts, another thirteen years," he replied, tightening his arms around her even more.

 _"Thirteen years,"_ she repeated, trying to hold back a laugh. "Wouldn't we be accused of private imprisonment?"

"No, I think we would be doing society a favor," he shrugged, smiling slightly.

Raquel turned her head to face him. Her eyes still hid a certain sadness but now there was something else there – gratitude. She took a deep breath, her gaze glued to his until he lifted his forehead to lean against hers and she closed her eyes. She had the feeling that they stayed like that for long minutes, just breathing each other in, with him lightly stroking her arms and with her fingers running on the collar of the shirt he wore.

Cinci came down the stairs slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. When he arrived in the living room, he found his godparents sitting and hugging as they often did on so many other nights. Usually, when he found his guardians exchanging kisses and caresses around the house – which was, by the way, _too frequent_ – he would roll his eyes dramatically but deep down he admired their love for each other.

This time, all he could think was that after this conversation, everything could change. What he least wanted was to disappoint them and he had already set a stupidly bad start.

"Nina?" Cinci's voice echoed through the room, interrupting the small bubble that the couple had formed between them.

Raquel turned her head to face her godson, who was looking at her with swollen eyes mirroring hers.

"Can we talk?" He asked, his speech choked with regret.

She nodded, moving away from the nest she had made in Sergio's arms and adjusting herself to sit on the rug with an upright posture.

"Do you want privacy?" Sergio questioned, although Raquel's right hand continued to rest on his leg, as if she asked him quietly not to go.

"No, nino," the boy replied, approaching the two and noticing the photo albums on the table. His breathing seemed to change when he looked back at his godfather. "Stay here too," he asked.

Cinci sat on the rug next to Raquel, looking at his hands, as he nervously scratched the corners of his nails. He looked up at his godmother, his eyes still filled with tears.

"I’m so, _so sorry._ Really," he murmured and he felt all his tears come back to flood his eyes. "I messed up. I... I shouldn't have lied, or disappeared, or– let alone treat you badly.”

Raquel listened attentively, trying to hold back her own tears, her teeth biting hard on her lower lip.

"I know you were worried and... and I know I'm lucky to have you as a second mom," he swallowed, letting his eyes drop before he dared to look at Sergio. "And you as a second dad."

Sergio offered him a small nod.

“I really am sorry,” Cinci reached for Raquel's left hand on the table, squeezing it gently. She took a deep breath, squeezing his hand back.

"You don't know how frightened we were, Cinci, to think that anything could have happened to you..."

He nodded, tears streaming down his face.

"I didn't want to lie to you, it's just..." He looked around, trying to find the words to explain himself. "I didn't know... how to... say it..."

Cinci paused, unsure how to proceed.

"Say what?" Sergio interceded, adjusting himself on the rug to be closer to the two of them.

The boy took a deep breath, biting the bottom of his cheek before continuing.

"That I was with someone," he explained. "Um... a colleague."

There was a pause in which both Sergio and Raquel tried to understand what he meant. Raquel's lips parted, as if she understood where he was getting at but Sergio still looked confused.

"I was on a date with a guy," he explained, unable to maintain eye contact with the two. “I… I didn't know how to say anything because I wasn't even sure what I felt. Like, I liked Bianca when we were together, so I was confused when this guy said he liked me… And today… today we went out and he kissed me and… and it was _good_ and I lost track of time and I got even more confused than I was before – I know it's not an excuse for what I did, it's just that... I was nervous.”

He paused, letting out a heavy breath.

"I think I'm bisexual," he said through gritted teeth, not daring to spy on the reaction of the two adults in front of him.

"Cinci..." Raquel caught his attention, offering him an encouraging smile even with the tears that streamed down her face. “You know that we love you, don't you? We don't care if you like girls or boys or non-binary people or… Martians, whatever,” she let out a small laugh, eliciting a smile from him. "What matters to us is that you’re happy and that you’re safe."

“And that you know that you can trust us to tell us anything,” Sergio added. "We want you to feel comfortable discovering whatever it is you want to discover about yourself, just... just be honest with us, vale?"

Cinci slightly nodded, still thoughtful, as if he seemed to be taking the courage to ask them a question.

"Do you think..." He paused, uncertain. “Do you think my parents would care? If I were… bi?”

Raquel shook her head, her brow furrowed as she brought a hand to caress her godson's face.

"Your parents loved you above anything, okay?" Raquel assured him. "They would tell you the same thing that we told you."

"Are you sure?" He shifted his gaze between them, hopefully.

"Absolutely," Sergio said, resolutely, his cheeks damp from the tears that had already rolled down.

"Come here," Raquel asked, opening her arms to receive him.

Cinci smiled, hugging his godmother and, soon after, feeling Sergio's arms around them both.

"I love you guys," the boy whispered softly.

"We love you too, mi amor," Raquel replied, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

When they parted, Cinci glanced at the photos on the table – his fifth birthday party. His eyes fell specifically in a photo of him between Sergio and Raquel, the three of them smiling happily at the camera. He took a deep breath, feeling relieved for the first time in many months.

He spent so much time carrying the feeling of inadequacy, the fear of being judged, of not being accepted, of not being loved. The fear of losing the only family he still had.

He knew that his uncles Andrés and Martín were a couple and that neither Sergio nor Raquel had any issues with that but he always wondered – what if it was different with him? What if they thought it was a phase?

If he had known he would have been so welcomed, he would not have spent so many sleepless nights wondering what to do.

"Just to be clear, you're still going to be grounded for lying," Raquel interrupted her godson's thoughts, giving him a light pat on the leg.

Cinci let out a dry laugh as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. "I figured."

Raquel wiped the tears from her face and sniffed before licking her lips.

"You know, I probably would have dated women if your godfather hadn't ruined any and every relationship for me," Raquel teased, making Sergio look at her with feigned outrage and Cinci's eyes widened in surprise.

 _"I_ ruined all of your potential relationships?" Sergio raised his eyebrows, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Yep, you made it entirely impossible for me to be with anyone else," she tilted her head, speaking each word dramatically as a declaration of love.

Sergio smiled, stroking her waist with his thumb, and she laughed, leaning in to plant a chaste kiss on her husband's mouth.

However, his godson – already used to their _many_ public displays of affection – still seemed to process the information he had just heard.

"Nina, are you bi?"

"Sexuality has many specters, Cinci," she declared, shrugging with a teasing smile. "But yes, I am," she stated.

Raquel spent a moment silently thinking that if she had talked to him about it before, she could have avoided his suffering, but when he smiled back at her, she put her regret aside to focus on her godson.

"Now tell us who your crush is," she asked, excited by the news.

"Nina..."

She ignored his grunt, poking his rib. "How was the first kiss?"

The boy started laughing but just shook his head in response.

"Raquel, don't do that to him..." Sergio interfered and, for a moment, Cinci believed that he would have his godfather, a rational man, on his side. He was wrong. "You have to tell us everything from the beginning, do we know him?"

Perhaps Raquel's influence over all these years had an effect on Sergio, after all.

Cinci rolled his eyes although it wasn’t possible to hide his smile. "If I tell you his name, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes." "No!" Sergio and Raquel responded at the same time and the three of them started laughing at the same time.

"Raquel!" Sergio squeezed her waist while she simply raised her palms in faux question.

"What? I can’t make a promise I won't keep,” she smiled, taking another sip of the wine.

Cinci smiled, looking at the adults in front of him with a mixed sense of relief and understanding, as if an epiphany had just crossed his mind – Raquel and Sergio were his family and neither of them was going anywhere.

_In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold  
_ _And all this devotion, well, I never knew at all  
_ _And the questions I have for a sinner released  
_ _In the arms of the ocean deliver me_

 _Never let me go, never let me go  
_ _Never let me go, never let me go_

_Deliver me_

_And it's over  
_ _I'm going under  
_ _But I'm not giving up  
_ _I'm just giving in_

 _Ah, slipping underneath  
_ _Wooh, so cold, but so sweet_

  
  



End file.
